CHAPTER IX
"Wake up, Sleepy Head," Dave was gently shaking her. "Is my sweet wife going to sleep all day? I want my breakfast."
"I'm so sorry, Dave," Jennie apologized looking at the clock. "My, I did oversleep, didn't I? But I didn't go to sleep until the early morning hours. Will you eat toast this morning instead of biscuits so we won't have to miss our devotions together?"
"I like my biscuits, Mrs. Maddox," he wheedled. "You shouldn't have spoiled me with fluffy, hot biscuits in the mornings. You're the world's greatest cook, Sweetheart. As for our devotions together, it won't hurt us to miss once in a while. You can pray after I'm gone."
With a heavy heart, Jennie prepared Dave's breakfast. She did not feel hungry herself. Besides she felt the need to fast.
"Aren't you eating, Jennie?" Dave asked as he was buttering his biscuit.
"Not this morning, Dave."
He looked sheepish as he hurried to finish his breakfast.
"I must go now, Dear. I'll see you later. Be a good girl.”
"Dave," Jennie pleaded, "can't we pray a short prayer together? We have never missed our devotions."
"Make it short then."
Jennie attempted to pray but could do nothing but sob. Dave arose from his knees, pecked her on the cheek and left.
"Oh, God," she groaned, "Somehow, some way, help Dave today. Show him the need of his heart and help him to obey Thee in every detail of his life. Help me to be faithful to his soul." On and on, she prayed as her heart was tremendously burdened for her dear husband.
After this first recognition that Dave was slipping spiritually, Jennie watched with heavy heart, as days turned into weeks, and weeks became months, and Dave became more and more negligent. The atmosphere in the little cottage was greatly changed. Neither Dave nor Jennie doubted each other's love, but the fellowship and mutual interest between them was lacking. Although Dave was kind and tender in many ways, he had lost interest in the things most precious to Jennie's heart. Finally, he openly admitted his spiritual defeat. He no longer made any attempt to serve God.
"Why be a hypocrite?" he told Jennie. ''I'm just a big failure so why not admit it?"
Jennie leaned heavily on her loving Heavenly Father through the many disappointments and trials. She found His grace sufficient, though at times it seemed her heart would break.
"Maybe when the baby comes, things will be different," she thought wistfully. "Dave seems so anxious for a little son. Perhaps, God will use our precious little darling to soften his heart and cause him to come home to Father's house."
A few days later as Dave drove her to the hospital, she could not help but notice the troubled look on his countenance. Moving over close to him on the seat, she said softly, "Dave, please don't worry about me; I'm sure everything is going to be all right. But if something should happen .... "
"Don't talk like that, Jennie," Dave interrupted. "Of course, I'm worried. I can't help but worry."
"Let us trust God, Dave. He has the situation in hand and He does all things well."
"It's easy for you to talk about trusting God, Jennie. With me it's different; God would never hear my prayers after the way I have treated Him."
"But, Dave, you can ... Oh-h!" Another pain had hit her. "Drive a little faster, Dear. These pains are getting closer together."
A few minutes later as they wheeled her into the delivery room, she squeezed Dave's hand and whispered, "Turn to God wholeheartedly, Dave. His love and mercy is unlimited. "
Dave did not answer, but kissed her and turned away quickly. Going into the waiting room, he paced back and forth awaiting the delivery. The smoke from the cigarettes in the room made him cough so he stepped out into the hall for some fresh air and a drink of water. Then he made his way out to the sun parlor and watched a log floating down the river. Returning to the waiting room later, he met Dr. Hyde entering the room, also. Dave turned pale as he asked. "Is she all right, Doc?"
"She's fine, Dave, but you almost did not make it to the hospital in time."
Dave wiped beads of perspiration from his forehead. "The baby, Doc? Is it ... ?"
"It's fine, too." The doctor stuck out his hand to Dave. "Congratulations! You have a six-pound, six-ounce daughter."
"Whee-ee!" Dave half sat and half fell onto a chair.
Dr. Hyde laughed, "I think some of you expectant fathers are in worse shape than the mother by the time the baby is born." He patted Dave on the shoulder. "Don't worry, Son. She is quite weak for she lost a lot of blood, but everything is going to be all right."
"Thanks for everything, Doc. Jennie and I appreciate all your kindness to us."
"It's been a pleasure, Dave. Your wife has been so cooperative that it has made everything run smoothly. I wish all my patients were like Mrs. Maddox."
"She's a great gal, Doc." Dave agreed.
As Jennie was taken back to her room, Dave followed the stretcher down the hall. How pale and weak Jennie looked between the white sheets. After she was put in her bed and the nurses had left, Dave pulled a chair close to her bedside. Holding her hand he whispered, "Jennie, dear, I love you. I'm so glad it's over. I'm so ashamed of all the heartache I've caused you. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?"
Jennie's voice was hardly audible as she answered, "Of course, Dave, I have never held anything in my heart against you." Dave had to put his ear to her lips to hear her. "Why don't you tell God you're sorry, Dear, and help me make a Christian home for little Joan?"
Tears came to Dave's eyes as he said, "Jennie, my darling, you are so dear and precious to me, so pure and consistent. I didn't really mean to go back on God, but after neglecting Him so long, my heart grew cold and I lost the desire to serve Him. I realized I was a failure so I just gave up. Anyway, Jennie, I can never be as good as you. You go ahead and make a Christian home for little Joan. I won't hinder you, I promise. I love you, Jennie. Do you believe that?"
"Yes, Dave, I have no reason to doubt your love, but don't you want to pray?"
"Not now. Maybe I will get back to God soon, but not now."
"Dave," her voice was just a whisper, "you cannot come to God any time you wish. It is only as the Spirit draws you, while the waters are troubled. Think of what God has done for us. Won't you come home to Father's house?"
"Not tonight, Jennie. I intend to get back to God, but not tonight. "
Two years later, Dave was still in a backslidden condition. Time and again, he would return home from work much later than necessary without bothering to apologize for keeping Jennie in suspense. His only explanation was that he was playing a little poker with the men at work. These were times of severe trial for Jennie. The devil attempted to drive her to despair, but as Job of old, she yet retained her integrity.
"If I was out of God's will in marrying him, I can blame no one but myself," she thought. I should have made him wait longer, but we were so much in love, Dave was so insistent, he needed me so, and he was so thoroughly changed after his conversion, that it seemed perfectly right at the time." Shaking her head as if to clear her mind she said aloud, "Well, no use condemning myself. We're married now and it's until death and I love him so truly." Dropping on her knees beside a chair she prayed, "Oh, God, somehow bring him to repentance."
"Oh, God, bring him to pentance." It was little Joan kneeling beside her.
"Little darling, I didn't know you were awake." Jennie took her in her arms and hugged her tightly. "My precious baby, what would I do without you?"
She arose from her knees just as the door flew open and Dave entered. He grabbed them both in his arms as he greeted them. "Good evening, Jennie. Hi, Joan. How's Daddy's baby?"
"Da-da." Joan held out her arms to him and he took her from Jennie and held her close.
"Da-da smell bad," Joan pulled back from Dave, wrinkling up her little nose. Jennie, too, had caught a whiff of the tobacco smoke.
"Oh no, Dave, you haven't been smoking?" Jennie was alarmed.
"Why not? If I'm going to be a sinner, may as well enjoy it all."
"But, Dave, you promised me you would never smoke again."
"And I have broken my promise. Bad, bad Dave," he mocked.
Jennie turned from him. There was no use trying to reason with him for he never listened to her any more. Her only hope was in God.
Jennie was quieter than usual at mealtime and this provoked Dave. "Preach, preach, preach, from morning until night," he said angrily pushing his chair back from the table. Going into the bedroom, Jennie heard him moving about and slamming things around. In a little while, he came out with his suitcase.
She could not hide her surprise. "Dave, where are you going? What are you doing with your suitcase?"
"I'm leaving," he yelled. "I'm tired of being preached to."
"Please, Dave, be fair. Do I really preach at you from morning until night? You know I hardly ever say anything to you about God, unless I feel especially moved on to speak. Please don't leave, Dave. I love you so." She was in tears by now.
"Please don't leave, Da-da. I love you."
Dave looked from Joan to Jennie. She read the love in his eyes in spite of the hard front.
"I'll stay on the condition you 'll let me run my own life," he answered, his voice a little softer now.
"I can't keep you from running your life, Dave. I can't make bargains with you, though, at the price of grieving God. I must obey Him at any cost." She took a step toward him and with a pleading voice, she asked, "What's the matter with us, Dave? We were so happy together at first. Have I failed somewhere? If so, please forgive me for I love you so much and I want to be a good wife."
He set down his suitcase and for a moment Jennie thought he was going to take her in his arms, but instead he turned and walked over to the sofa and sat down.
"Put my clothes back in the closet," he ordered. "I'll try it a while longer." He picked up the newspaper and buried his face in it, signifying that their conversation was ended.
Nothing Jennie did after this seemed to please Dave. Time and time again, he stomped out of the house, slammed the door behind him and left in a rage. It was not uncommon for him to come staggering in around midnight under the influence of intoxicating liquor. Jennie leaned more and more heavily upon God.
"I believe that somehow, some way, at any cost, Father, that Thou will bring him back to Thyself. If I didn't have this faith in Thee, my heart would break." She prayed by the hour each day, fasting often as the burden grew greater.
As was Jennie's usual custom on Sunday morning, she dressed Joan and herself for church. As always, she turned to Dave, "Won't you join us today, Dear? We miss you so badly."
It appeared to her that he had almost weakened in his resolve not to go on this particular Sunday morning. He looked her in the eye a few moments as if he wanted to say something, but then he dropped his head and said the usual, “Not today, Jennie." So she and Joan drove off without him. With all his contrariness, Dave had never tried to keep her and Joan from attending church. No doubt, God knew she needed the strength she derived from the services to continue; thus, He restrained Dave from hindering her.
"Look how happy Becky and Sam are together with their new baby," the devil whispered as she sat in the pew. "You know you could have had Sam and been spared all this grief and heartache."
"Get thee behind me, Satan," she answered the accuser. "I love Dave in spite of the heartaches and griefs he has caused me, and God will see me through."
Brother Smith took his text from Isaiah 43:2. "When thou passeth through the waters," he read, "I will be with thee, and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee." He closed his Bible and stood silently a few seconds taking inventory of his congregation. One could feel the Holy Spirit settling down as Brother Smith was a man of prayer who depended on God's help to deliver his message. Here and there, one would take out a handkerchief and dab it to his eyes. Jennie's heart burned within her as the Spirit prepared her for the message. She wiped her eyes and sat erect with Joan on her lap awaiting Brother Smith's next words.
"Brothers and sisters," he addressed his audience, "I feel a peculiar burden this morning. There is someone in our midst who is going through deep and troubled waters, and I feel the worst is yet to come. As we pray this morning, let us pray especially for this one that God will give extra grace and strength unto them just as He gave unto Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. Remember, Beloved, it was in the fire that the Son of God was seen. If you are going through fiery trials, keep sweet in your soul. Guard against a root of bitterness." Jennie's heart was pounding. Was God sending this message especially to her?
"Let Jesus be seen in your life," Brother Smith continued. "Remember, King Nebuchadnezzar's reaction when he saw one like unto the Son of God with the three Hebrew children in the fiery furnace. Never would he have been won to the true and living God, had they bowed to his golden image. Our God, whom we serve, is able to deliver from the fiery furnace; but if not, be it known we will not bow. Praise the name of the Lord!"
If Jennie could have seen what was going on back in the little cottage, she would have understood even better why God had sent this particular message.
Dave was pacing the floor and moaning, "Oh, God, I didn't intend to go so far." Taking down his suitcase, he began, hurriedly to pack his clothes. "I can't stand to look into those sad eyes another day, so pure and full of love," he said aloud. "I hate myself. If only she would bawl me out or run me off or something, but that sweet, gentle way of hers drives me crazy. If ever there was a Christian walking on earth, Jennie Maddox is that one. I must clear out this morning before she gets home from church." He broke down and cried, "My dear sweet Jennie and Joan, I really and truly love you, but I'm a rotten husband and father. I don't deserve either of you. Maybe you will find happiness after I'm gone." He wrote a note and then picked up the receiver and dialed his previous landlady's telephone number.
"Hello. This is Dave Maddox. Do you happen to have an extra room available that I may rent?"
"A room, Dave? For you and your wife?" she asked in surprise. "Why, I thought you were well satisfied with your little cottage."
"I'll explain later, Mrs. Halloway. Do you or do you not have a room?"
"Why yes, Dave. In fact, the very same apartment you rented before is vacant. You see, the couple who were renting it have been having trouble and they finally split up and moved out. I told them about you, how ornery you once were and how you joined the church and you married the best Christian girl in the world, and how wonderful you two get along, and .... "
Dave interrupted, "Mrs. Halloway, I'm in a hurry. I'll see you in a little while." He hung up the phone and grabbed his suitcase. "Old lady Halloway is in for quite a surprise," he said as he slammed the door behind him. Stopping in his tracks. he turned back, picked up the receiver again and called a cab. He took the extra set of car keys out of his pocket, threw them on the table, and left again. Standing at his gate, awaiting the cab, he glanced up at the big oak tree. The leaves were waving gently in the breeze, the same way they had done when he was first saved. "They seemed to be waving at me for joy that morning," he recalled. "This morning they seem to be telling me good-bye." Dave took out his handkerchief and mopped his forehead. Looking down the road, he remarked, "Wonder what's taking the cab so long?"
When Jennie drove into the driveway, her cat stood up, stretched itself, yawned, and jumped off the doorstep where he had been sunning himself.
"Purty kitty." Joan clapped her hands in delight. "Kitty jump down."
Jennie smiled and lifted her from the car. "Pretty kitty," she agreed with Joan. "Come here, Tiger. Come see me and Joan." She stroked his back and then walked toward the house, wondering in what kind of mood she would find Dave. The message of the morning had strengthened her and she felt she had received extra grace to endure her many trials. Op
ening the door, she saw Dave's note propped up by the telephone. Picking it up she read, "Jennie, I've felt for some time that I should leave. All I do is make life miserable for you and Joan. I'll see that you receive money for your support. Good-bye and good luck. Dave."
Jennie fell into a chair with her hands to her face. "Oh no," she moaned, "Not this. Oh, God, how can I stand it? Dave, Dave, why did you do it? I love you so. I don't think I can bear to live without you. Oh, God, help me."
"What matta, Ma-ma? Don't cry." Joan patted her cheek.
Jennie gathered her baby in her arms trying to reassure her.
"Da-da, Da-da." Joan wriggled out of Jennie's arms and ran from room to room searching for Dave.
"Daddy's gone, Baby," Jennie told her with the tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Da-da gone bye-bye." Joan clapped her hands and laughed.
How could Jennie make a two-year-old understand that Daddy was gone for good? That he would not be back to jostle her on his knee, carry her on his shoulders, caress her silky, black curls, kiss her rosy cheeks and sing a lullaby to her? Picking her up in her arms and holding her close, she prayed, "Oh, God, extend extra grace to Thy servant that I may be able to bear up under this fiery trial."
"Joan's hungry, Ma-ma," the little girl interrupted her prayer.
"Of course you are, Darling. Here, sit in your little chair and I will get you some lunch."
After feeding Joan and putting her to bed for her afternoon nap, Jennie fell across her own bed and gave vent to her feelings again. Sobbing hysterically she called Dave's name over and over. "Dave, Dave, why, oh why did you leave me'? How can I stand it?"
"Oh God," she cried brokenly, "this is so hard to bear. Give me strength, Jesus. And Dear Lord," she sobbed from a broken heart, "follow Dave wherever he goes. He must be most miserable."
Crying and praying until her eyes were red and swollen and her strength exhausted, she at last was quieted and lay silent with troubled thoughts until Joan awakened and called for her.