I expected Melanie's 'we'll be in touch,' to mean later that night or the next day, but here I was at the kitchen table Monday morning. Mom came down.
"I'm thinking I'm not going to school today." I said.
She didn't respond, but went to the counter and poured a cup of coffee. "I imagine it will be a tough day for a lot of your classmates." She said looking out the window.
"Not much I can do about that."
"You're wrong." She turned to look at me.
"Come on, Mom, this is the hardest on me—after her family of course."
"I agree, and I hurt for you. I feel so helpless, because I can't help you though this."
"But you are, by just being here for me."
She winked. "Precisely."
"You know that's not fair." I complained. "You really think me being in school is going to help the other kids?"
"Maybe not everyone, but enough to make it worth the effort."
I got up, washed out my cereal bowl and then placed it in the drying rack. "See you after practice." I gave her a kiss, grabbed my backpack and headed for the Rover.
I pulled into the school parking lot twenty minutes later, but didn't get out of my seat. Instead, I just kept staring at the plywood across the doors to the gym and the makeshift memorial that had appeared in front of them—candles—stuffed animals—notes, things like that. Suddenly there was tapping on my window. I hit the button to roll it down.
"Dude, what are you doing here?" Alex said.
"I don't know exactly."
"I hear you. My mom told me the news last night said that they were going to have counselors here to help the students cope. Can you imagine?"
"Yeah, it's been pretty tough on everyone."
"So no word from Izzy then?"
"Nothing yet." There was a thud, as a heavy hand came down on my roof.
"Man, it's great to see you." Matt said. "Wait till the guys see you're here."
I rolled up the window and got out. "It's not a bad thing—my being here is it?"
"No way." They both said.
Matt looked across the parking lot to a guy climbing out of his car. "Josh!" he called, "Jason's here."
"Seriously?" Josh was one of the defensive linemen.
"Tell the guys!" Matt yelled.
"You bet." Josh hurried into the school.
"Come on." Alex said. "Lets do this."
The three of us headed into the school to the astonished faces of our classmates and teachers. Ms. Moore and Coach met us just inside the front doors.
"I can't believe you all are here," Ms. Moore said.
"I can." Coach smiled.
"Your just being here will mean so much to the other students and help immeasurably with their ability to cope with what happened. I am so proud of you." She addressed me specifically. "Jason, could I have a word?"
"I'll catch up with you guys later." I said.
Matt patted me on the back. "We got this. Right, Alex?"
"Right."
I followed Ms. Moore into her office as Matt and Alex followed Coach down the hall. Ms. Moore closed the door.
"Any news?" Her voice was anxious, tense and penetrated my facade of strength.
I shook my head, not wanting to risk my voice, but I had to wipe my nose, or it would have dripped right on her floor. She grabbed a tissue from her desk. Once she handed it to me, she went to special effort to turn her back on me to unnecessarily straighten some things on her desk.
"I talked to her sister the other night." I said.
Ms. Moore turned around at the sound of my voice.
"They're checking places the family knows, but nothing yet. Have you heard anything about Mrs. Snyder's condition?" I said, to change the subject.
"She's still in intensive care, but improving. The doctors said her injuries were like she'd been hit by a car. Can you imagine?"
"Well, guess I should get going. Izzy really liked the time she spent here with you." I said, not thinking. That made her sound past tense—she was so not past tense—she couldn't be.
"I'm sure we're going to have a lot to talk about when she returns." Ms. Moore said.
"I'm sure you will. It helps knowing you're here for her."
Ms. Moore opened the door. "Jason, it's wonderful you're here for your classmates, but if you need anything—anything at all, I'm here, or if you'd be more comfortable, you can always talk to Coach Singleton."
"Thanks, Ms. Moore, I really appreciate it." With that, I walked out into the hallway to face my classmates.