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She’d made fun of herself for not being nature girl, but she did love these woods—she always had. It didn’t hurt that it was an easy walk to and from the falls.
She took a good look around, memorizing the trees. Saying good-bye. Good-bye to the person she’d almost become.
Realistically, she wouldn’t be back until autumn. The leaves would have turned by then. The quaking aspens—those were her favorites—they’d be yellow. There’d be some reds and oranges, too. But mostly it’d be the same pine trees, green and fresh, and feeling old as time.
She had to look away. Look down. She kicked rocks along the trail, thinking how lately she felt old as time, too. Would she ever really be happy? She was in love with Eddie, she knew that now. She’d probably been in love with him for years. All that sparring. All those sparks. Had she wanted him all along?
But she also knew that sparring, arguments, conflict…it was all she was good for. It was why she was so good at business. Why she thrived in a cold, big city.
“Penny for your thoughts, darlin’. ”
She looked up and her breath caught. “Eddie. ”
It was like she’d conjured him. For an instant, she had the fantasy that they hadn’t fought. The fantasy that they were a couple, out for a hike. But she reminded herself it wasn’t true. They were from two very different worlds, two travelers bearing different passports, with two very different destinations. So many differences never to be resolved. Seeing him, she mourned the person she wasn’t.
“How did you find me?”
He walked right up to her. “Finding you was easy. It’s catching you that’s the hard part. ”
He didn’t touch her, but he looked like he wanted to. She knew Eddie—the touching would be up to her. But she didn’t have the guts.
He spoke of catching her…did that mean he wanted to keep her, too? She didn’t trust it. What if she let him in, let him look deeper into her heart, and he decided he didn’t like what he saw? The old fear and vulnerability began to slink back, and it sharpened her words. “Why are you here?”
“I told you,” he said gently. “I love you. Why can’t you believe that?”
Probably because she didn’t feel particularly lovable at the moment. Last night’s accusations came to her in a flood. “I thought I was too controlling. A robot with intimacy issues. ”
“I didn’t mean those things. I’m sorry—I was hurt and jealous. But I do love you, Laura, and I’ll say it as many times as I need to until you believe it. ”
Then she saw what he had in his hands, and she burst into tears. “You brought me a pinecone?” Maybe he did recognize the real her. Maybe he had looked deep into her heart and still wanted what he saw.
“Yeah, goof. ” He gave her a loving smile, tipping her chin up to face him. “I can’t hike to the falls without picking you a pinecone. ”
She’d held so much emotion dammed in for so long, but one pinecone, Eddie’s smile, and—God help her—being called a goof when goof was the last thing she was, and she broke. Laughing, crying, smiling, sobbing…she stood in the middle of the woods and completely lost it. Lost it like she’d never lost it in front of anyone before.
Eddie panicked. “Oh, honey, no crying. I hate to see you cry. ” He finally crossed the divide, tucking her close, which made her only sob harder.
She let herself sink into him. “Oh, Eddie, I love you, too. I think I’ve probably always loved you, and now I screwed it all up. ”
“You didn’t screw anything up. ” He squeezed her tight. “We’ll figure it out. Just don’t cry anymore—you’re killing me. ”
“Are you kidding?” She sniffled. “I keep crying. I can’t stop it. People think I’m a robot, but really I’m just a wreck. ”
“Nobody thinks you’re a robot. ”
She couldn’t catch her breath. She was a teary, shuddering mess. “You do. ”
“Well, you’re going to rust yourself out,” he said, and she laughed through her tears. He smoothed his hand along her head. “Really, it’s time to come home, Laura. ”
“I can’t. I told them I’d take this stupid job. ” She was stuck now. The riptide was tearing her away once again. “I’ve been jerking them around so much, if I don’t take it, I’ll never work in Silicon Valley again. ”
“I don’t see the problem. ” He pulled away enough to meet her eyes. “How can I get it in your head that business success isn’t life success?”
“But it’s security. ” She’d spent her whole adult life building up the trappings of security, and she wasn’t ready to part with the idea so easily. “What if something happens? You could go away tomorrow. My dad might get sick again. I need to think about those things. ”
“Nothing will happen. I’m not going anywhere. There’s a whole town full of people who love you and will help you. Who want you home. ”
“But the business stuff…I can’t lose that. ”
“So you keep managing the lodge,” he said. “You rock at managing the lodge. Look how much it’s turned around in just a short time. ”
She shrugged. She’d wanted respect for so many years, and here it was Eddie Jessup who’d been in her corner all along. “Sometimes I feel like it’s all I’m good for. ”
“Hey”—he stroked a finger down her cheek—“you’re good for me. Or you would be if you gave it a chance. ”
“I do want to give it a chance. But you said it yourself…I’m scared to let go. ” She stared off at the falls, crashing in the distance. “I’ve always felt so apart from all this. What if you were right about everything—that spreadsheets and numbers are all I am?”
“Mine is what you are,” he said, and before she could come up with some other protest, he shut her up with a kiss.
It felt right. He felt right. He truly saw her and understood, and better, loved her for who she was. They kissed, and her blood sang as some essential part of her recognized that, city or country, being in Eddie’s arms was the only place for her.
As he pulled away, she slumped with a curse. “Crap. ”
A startled, baffled laugh escaped him. “Not the usual response I get after kissing the ladies. ”
She curled a fist in his shirt. “You better be done kissing the ladies, Edwin Jessup. ”
“Oh, I am. I swear. ” He crossed his heart. “So then what’s the trouble?”
“The trouble is, I’ve got to go back,” she said. “I have this stupid job now. ”
“Well, now you have a stupid new job. ”
She peered up at him. “I do?”
He nodded, a wicked gleam lighting his eyes. “It’s going to keep you here. And this new job has benefits unlike anything you’d get in the city. ” He cupped her bottom and gave it a suggestive squeeze.
She gave a little squeal, then swatted him. “Be serious. What are you talking about?”
“I’m completely serious. I’m taking over the ranch. ”
“What?” She pulled back to get a better look at his expression, because she wasn’t getting it. “What about Fairview?”
“Screw Fairview. I found out about the owls. We’ve stopped the project. ”
She sighed. “Oh, Eddie. I didn’t know what to do. I knew you’d scaled back, and so the nests would be fine, but what about your company? What about Jack?”
“Jack will be fine. I’m pulling out of Jessup Brothers. Having just one permanent employee will take the heat off, at least until this economy turns around. Meantime, my brother can rely on his usual subs on an as-needed basis. ”
She stepped away completely then. She trusted him—she was ready to make the leap, lose control, take a chance—but Eddie owning a ranch didn’t register. “What are you going to do with a ranch?” She guessed she could learn to love…what…cattle? What did people do on ranches?
“I’m turning it into a camp for at-risk kids. ” He let the statement hang long enough for her t
o parse his meaning.
It took her a sec, but when she got it, she felt the grin burst across her face. “That’s perfect!”
“Pretty good, huh?” He smiled. “And I want you with me. I hate all the business stuff, but I thought maybe you’d…”
“You thought maybe I’d…?” She raised her brows, beaming, holding her breath to see how he’d finish.
“Help me. ”
She deflated the tiniest bit. Eddie’s expression had turned so serious, she’d thought maybe their conversation was headed in another direction…of the relationship variety. “Oh. Sure I can help. ”
She went into autopilot and turned her mind to practical matters. “If I’m not taking back my other job, they’ll still need me more than ever at the lodge. But I guess with Hope there, we can manage. ”
“Of course, of course. I assumed you’d need to spend most of your time managing the Big Bear. I just thought you could advise me on the business end of things, you know, as I get it all up and running. I’ll need to establish it as an official nonprofit, all that. ”
A glimmer of sadness came and went. It was time to accept it—she was and always would be spreadsheet girl. And yet it was true consolation to feel how, more than anyone else, Eddie respected her. He valued her opinions and her help…valued her. “I’d love nothing more,” she told him truly.
“You don’t need to love it. You just need to love me. ”
“I do, Eddie. I do. ” Something deep down unclenched. She might’ve been all business, but Eddie loved her all the same.
“Then there’s one other thing. ” He dropped to his knee.
“Oh!” She’d been right—he had been heading in a relationship direction. But still, she had trouble completely trusting what was happening. She had to be certain, because she was having trouble believing what her eyes were telling her. “So…you’re not just offering me a job?”