Chapter 13: Eternity
Nightmares and dreams consumed me. Pain stung my face and it was hard to breath. Something in the dark chased me, but the dream's vagueness prevented me from seeing just what. Looking back as I walked forward, I stepped over a cliff. I was suddenly floating darkness. When I reached out to steady myself, I scrapped my finger on a sharp point. Wincing, I put it to my lips.
A deep, all-consuming voice spoke to me. "Scrap the skin, you will bleed iron. Scrap the soul and you bleed eternity’s hell." I turned around to face the voice. Out of the darkness waded a wolf, lifting his head to level his jade eyes with mine. "Needles or gold, child?"
My heart raced in my chest, daring to come out. "Eternity's hell?"
The wolf circled around me. "The darkest pits? Why would that scare anyone, child? Because you may hear the moans and pains of the loved ones you cast down with you, but you will forever be alone."
I paled at the thought. "Then I won't scrap my soul, wolf."
The wolf trotted up, so it looked directly at me. "So, choose one of the eternal paths. Will it be needles or gold, child?"
I queried, ignoring the question. "Who is the right heir? How can the world be changed?"
Sitting, the wolf curled his tail over his feet. "Know this, child, the hunt spreads the pack out, but it takes but one wolf to find perfect prey. The pack will follow that wolf into the chase. The pack’s hope rests on that wolf.
"That wolf was not chosen by the pack, but God, and the people choose to follow him, support his hunt because of it. It takes the eyes of God to change the world. See your pack through those eyes and you can change the world. So, will it be the needles or gold, child?"
Hunt? I opened my eyes, demanding, "What?"
I reached out to touch the wolf but instead I scrap air in reality. My fingers curled slowly, remembering just where the wolf was. Does that mean the heir should be obvious? Should I know whom to choose? No, did he mean the pack will follow that wolf on the hunt? Then, if I look at where the pack is pointed, will I see the leader? But haven't I been doing that?
I forgot Asaph was there and he jolted at my sudden waking. Still leaned against the wall, I muttered angrily. “Stupid wolf, I really don’t understand you.”
Asaph looked down at me with confusion, trying to figure out what just occurred. “I feel the same about you.”
I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my chin on them. “It’s not you; it’s a wolf in my dream.”
Silence lapsed as my company tried to come up with what to say. “Ah. I see. You’re pretty much insane. I forget.”
Nodding slowly, my focus fell on the opposing wall. I was starting to remember everything that just happened. I could feel that nothing was the same. They altered my life. Even as a person, I had transformed. After Father’s death, I knew I couldn’t remain who I was. I was a different person then. If I tried to be her now, after every death that bleeds through my hands, I would explode. I might still explode.
I buried my face in my knees. My crew was suffering. They were innocent. They just wanted to help. They never did anything wrong. They didn't deserve to die. My people paid in iron-flavored blood. Blood I should have paid in, alone. Fury boiled in me, threatening to overflow.
I was too trusting of Diomedes. I forgave him too many times. Now many of my crew was dead because of it. It was possible they were all dead. It was torture not knowing who died, and knowing whoever did, it was my fault.
Asaph shook me out of my thoughts. He spoke quickly. “Quit dazing out. We have one last day until the Feast. Have decided on an heir?”
I looked at him flatly. “What do you think? I still don’t know who Father chose.”
My company stretched sorely. “Perhaps if I had known your father I could have guessed…”
Shaking my head, I mentioned, “Mother both knew and married him, and yet her priorities went askew. No offense, Asaph, but I doubt you were what Father had in mind. Father was certain, as though he knew someone perfect for the job. I mean, he probably didn’t even know you existed.”
He shrugged, looking out the window. “I considered that fact he might not, but I always wanted to meet him. He’s legendary. After this, even with all of Deion’s complaints, he’ll probably have a statue made in his honor, just like the King's.” he became quiet, thinking. Changing the subject, Asaph offered a new suggestion. “Maybe he chose one of leaders among the merchants or ironworkers.”
I considered it. “But that would make it impossible for me to know which individual is best for the people as a whole. Who does everyone want to be heir? Whom would they follow? Find inspiring? Who would they choose to protect them?”
Asaph raised his hands in defense. “Whoa, I don’t know. I know the merchants and ironworkers, but not on that kind of level. Most don’t really talk to me. I just tell them what to do. Diomedes is generally in charge of the merchants, as the heir to the Wing family, but the merchants not in the council don’t necessarily support him as a king.
"And they don’t support me because I’m a Hoof, standing for the ironworkers. In essence, if they had other opinions, we wouldn't know. Don't you have to choose a well-known figure?"
I tapped my chin. "I do? Now that I think about it, what says I have to? Maybe I'm hunting for the heir all wrong."
Narrowing his eyes, Asaph seemed bewildered by my epiphany. "Hunting?"
Without pausing, I stood, walking to the open window. I scoured the streets. "Maybe, it's not the wolf who runs the fastest, but perhaps someone who can see the goal, who can track, who can lead us to a new, unknown future. Who finds the song in them and has those who follow him into the unknown with confidence. I need to hunt for the perfect wolf."
Part 4: Fight