FEBRUARY 2015
BREAKING NEWS: Cuban diplomats come out with statement saying talks with Washington on restoring full relations between the two countries may fail on U.S. interest in installing several Beyond Human prisons on Cuban soil.
BREAKING NEWS: Statement from British Prime Minister, “Russia’s lack of cooperation on Beyond Human issues puts Britain in a prepared state of taking steps to defend itself and its allies.”
BREAKING NEWS: Battle between Thai fishermen and Somali Pirates ends after witnesses say group of unidentified women came out of the waters boarding ships and attacking both sides.
BREAKING NEWS: U.S. Senator speaking at a political fundraiser, “Hulagu Khan and the Mongols sacked and burned Baghdad. That’s the way we should have taken care of business.” Many internet comments, “Wasn’t that how we handled things?”
Love,
I’ll write in a bit… cause I just popped home and have a few things to do before I jump into Gmail chat… but… I never received the other picture yesterday. Hmmmm….. thing coming down the pipe. Back in a bit….
Lisa
BREAKING NEWS: The Royal Navy battleship HMS Dreadnought parks itself in the middle of the Pacific Ocean and refuses to answer calls from international voices. British government says Mind Your Own Business.
Love,
Sorry it took a while for me to reply. Now, I just go to Gmail to write and I haven’t been checking it. EEP.
Um, they’re just uhh… going. Not much is going on really. It’s a surprise I know what to write about three times a week. People just don’t realize how boring my life is…heh. I make it seem fun and interesting by doing some immoral things once in a while or talking about what I’m buying or who I talked to; that’s excitement for ya.
I didn’t have any real bugs in the site to begin with. It was just talking awhile to build is all. I add on stuff but no real bugs; I thought there was a prob with the comments feature when no one was posting but then I just realized it’s just cause no one was posting.. uh yeah. Then someone did and I figured it was safe.
Eh, besides the bladder infection {not sure if it was or not}, it’s only the usual sinuses and all. Nothing quite new.
Toonami ya mean? Yeah, I didn’t watch it but what they showed bored me. The last string for many was replacing Tenchi. I did tune in to DBZ cause of Frieza though; it’s fun to make fun of his cross dressing transsexual self…uh yeah. The one high point of that show.
Lisa
BREAKING NEWS: Twenty new Marian apparitions in Lourdes, France make for a interesting weekend for all.
Love,
I always feel bad when I don’t say the right thing when it comes to gay issues.
Lisa
BREAKING NEWS: Orlando Mayor after ordering police to clean up homeless areas across the city, “The homeless who no longer have a sleeping bag, clothes, or other personal items will probably try extra hard to find a job now.”
Jeff,
What am I going to do with you. You are so deep. And quite frankly I don’t know how to respond to you. It is awfully tempting for me to say “Hell, why not.” I ought to go out with you. But, most likely you couldn’t handle it. It would be way too much for you.
Enough of that.
Anyway, I think you are an awfully great writer. You need to let me read some more of your stuff. I liked the script you wrote about Karen’s. I guess it did have an ending, and that is what I didn’t like about it. I didn’t want it to end. I wanted to find out what happened. What happened with that girl, I can’t remember her name, the one with the children? Did she reciprocate your affection? Are you two destined to be together? Or did you fall in love with her, knowing that it would never happen? Never really wanting it to happen. Oh, well, doesn’t matter. I go after every relationship full speed, determined to discover if there is any opportunity for success. Or just to make sure that there is absolutely no chance. So, I guess me and you are two different types of people, I take every chance, and you take no chances.
Fox
BREAKING NEWS: The powerful members of the Quorum of The Twelve of the Latter Day Saint movement are rumored to all have left the church because of “Charitable touches when it comes to many modern issues” and with The Three Witnesses are looking to find a new home.
Fox,
Just got your email today. I think? ? ? ? I guess neither one of us are too quick on the email service. I heard your date with that guy didn’t go too well. So are you open to suggestions now?
Jeff
BREAKING NEWS: Governor of Florida, “The Kyoto Protocols were akin to The Final Solution to American busineses and we should have never signed on to it.”
Jeff,
What kind of suggestions exactly are you talking about? Tell me then I will let you know, if I am open to them. Well, today was my day to take off from school and I was thinking about coming to visit Karen’s but I got side tracked.
Fox
BREAKING NEWS: Pediatricians fight back against Anti-Vaxxers, ban their kids. Sane people start slow clap that builds to cheers.
Fox,
Suggestions of life. Suggestions between an attractive, interesting young women who can attract lots of men and a boring, smartass young man who considers a cold shoulder hope. An open suggestion of fun. Of course I don’t have that much experience in that department. As well as others. But two people as friends or more I bet could come up with some suggestions.
Watch that getting sidetracked. It happened to me once and I ended up in a slaughter house bar in Houston.
Karen asked if I had talked to you. I believe she hasn’t had anyone to bug lately. Hope you can come to Karen’s next week when the new menu is ready.
Jeff
BREAKING NEWS: The trading company Pontefract Castle files paperwork saying the own both the remains of Richard II and St. Paul Cathedral and legal experts say they might have a case based off really old documents.
Fox,
Your right I didn’t know I was insulting you. Me to a T. I get a woman’s attention and don’t even have a clue how I did it. A teacher in a class once asked me if I know the consequence of what I had said. I told him I didn’t even remember the point of my answer to his question? I guess I can be crazy from time to time. Like 12am to… well, basically around the clock.
I thought suggestions in itself was something to think over????? Maybe when we can get together you could throw in a few details with my suggestions.
Jeff
BREAKING NEWS: Arizona's Republican controlled legislature thinks that congressional elections are too easy for the wrong people to get elected. And they want the Supreme Court to fix that problem for them.
Jeff,
My my my you are awfully funny. You really make me laugh. God, only know why. I think I might see you before you read this because I think I am going to head over that way right now.
Fox
BREAKING NEWS: The Convention on Psychotropic Substances, a United Nations treaty designed to control psychoactive drugs, was planned to be revisited by a meeting of world leaders in Vienna but with the United States pulling out some say this is now a dead point.
Fox,
Now is “my my my” being sarcastic because if I do make you laugh then you should spend more time around me. It would be good for you, I believe and Great For Me. I need companionship? Bad!!! Oh, sorry. I thought I was only thinking that. Know anyone who would give me a chance? Now I probably shouldn’t have said that. Karen said I’m trying to get a date with you and I’m going down a No Way!! Street. I like you as a friend and hope we can become even better friends. Sure I would like to go out with an intelligent opinionated, accretive, fun women. But to be perfectly honest the only reason I have not asked you out is because I thought you made your feelings on that subject already known.
Enough about others. Hay, look I went a whole email without mentioning suggestions…. Speaking of which!!! We never did talk much about them…. Or did we??? Man this Jewel CD is driving m
e sane. I gotta go Frisbee it.
Jeff
BREAKING NEWS: Voices are silent as new laws are passed in Arkansas making attempts to protect Beyond Humans from discrimination a criminal act.
Jeff,
No, I was not being sarcastic. You really do make me laugh. Or at least smile quite a bit. And, I do like being around you. I think it is good for me, most the time anyway.
As for suggestions, we could really get into that but it could awfully complicated and I don’t think you are ready.
Fox
BREAKING NEWS: E.R. doctor after praying on it refuses to treat a critical child of a same sex couple, child dies, religious leaders cheer her “bold” ”brave” choice.
Fox,
Hope you got something to eat after school. I ate something wrapped in something and it all gave me a weird dream about me and a female vampire. Maybe I shouldn’t blame it on the food. And people wonder why I don’t sleep much.
When I was talking about B.S.ing I wasn’t talking about me talking with you. I was talking about my writing. Sometimes my dreams seem like I doing nothing but B.S.ing myself. I’m over analyzing moments again. Sorry for the petty trip.
I stopped at Karen’s to give her mom a thank you card and to see if you were there and I forgot the card. I got half way home before I remembered and I came back.
I’m heading down to the Suntree Library and probably will spend the whole day down there doing research. So, if they have internet access I will probably send you another email.
P.S. if there are mistakes in this letter blame it on a smart ass teacher who is running me out of the computer lab.
Jeff
BREAKING NEWS: State Supreme Court Justice Warns He May Abolish Marriage Entirely If Same Sex Weddings Are Allowed. Really? And yep, that’s a real real headline.
Fox,
Here’s my cell number ---- ----- ----- in case you ever want to or need to talk to someone. I count as someone, I guess.
Jeff
BREAKING NEWS: The social club 1739 reveals their leader as someone in the identity of English highwayman Dick Turpin.
Jeff,
I hope that you don’t think that I have been ignoring you. I have been so busy, that I haven’t had time to go to the library, even though I really wanted to. I have been so busy with school and keeping Karen out of trouble. It sucks as you know. Sometimes I think we almost connect better over the internet than in person. That is kind of strange, don’t you think?
Fox
BREAKING NEWS: Holy shit, people are so stupid.
Fox,
I’m dropping you a quick note before I head off to bed to see if you’re free to maybe have lunch on Monday? I’m going down to Karen’s to talk about changing my schedule. Maybe you could meet me down there if that’s ok?
Jeff
BREAKING NEWS: Leaked Canadian government document show plans for The Silver Dart, a Canadian only space station to be placed on Mars.
Jeff,
Sorry. I know I am bad. I didn’t check my mail in time, it would have nice to have lunch with you. Well, let me know how things are going and I will help you out with anything if you need.
Fox
BREAKING NEWS: Did the Pope in secret document issue the papal bull Regnans in Excelsis to execute the Queen Of England and the followers of The Church Of England.
Jeff,
Well, that’s life, nothing is ever simple. Like when I thought I might be pregnant. Stress if nothing else keeps you busy but I hate thinking too much.
Fox
BREAKING NEWS: A group of Christian politicians in U.S. say they will use every ounce of energy they have in office to make Christianity the state religion of their states. They call it The Edict Of Thessalonica. They must like using phrases and titles that sound fancy with stupidity on subject. I thought only crap writers did that?
Fox,
Could you meet with me on Monday around lunch time to talk about things? Tell me if you can or if it would be better to meet later in the week?
Jeff
BREAKING NEWS: Kansas Senate wants to imprison teachers who assign books it dislikes.
Jeff,
I probably could, about what time? About 1pm or so? Because I don’t like getting up early on a Sunday as you know, but yeah I could meet you. I’ll see you then.
Fox
BREAKING NEWS: Man gets life in prison for selling $20 worth of weed to undercover cop. In other news the war on drugs is going well, LONG LIVE NANCY REGAN.
Jeff,
Sorry, I just now got this computer fixed so I just got the chance to check my email, I wish I had known you would have been there Monday, I so would have been there, I am so sorry. We need to make a definite date so we can see each other o.k. How about this coming Monday we meet at Karen’s around 11:00 and we’ll go out to lunch or something.? Just so that I can see you before you leave o.k. I promise that I will be there, if you can. Just let me know something definite, if you want you can call me, you have my cell.
Fox
BREAKING NEWS: A Florida Orange Magnate Killed Himself And Several Of His Employees After Police Discovered a Pot Farm in His Factory
Hi all, Lion here. I guess a few of you have been wondering “what happens now” – we’ve made the date but have been quiet since. Our next step is to try to come up with some firm dates of what activities we’ll be doing over the weekend. And this is where “you” come in.
Last month the boss sent you information to help us get underway on the activity ideas. Below is a list of the activities that were mentioned, basically in the order in which they were posted.
1-Attack them at Karen’s.
2………..
BREAKING NEWS: Brazil's Arrested Forest Kingpins Reveal Plans To Turn The Amazon Into The Worlds Largest Theme Park.
JEFF: People selling silverware in a restaurant. Stay classy Palm Bay.
FOX: Yep. People bringing kids to a bar restaurant. Shady dealings over cheese fries. Cops called to McDs. Florida never changes.
BREAKING NEWS: Bill that has cost the state of Kentucky $80 million in time spent on to make Feederism a crime goes forward.
JEFF: Do you remember The Food?
KAREN: I remember The Frozen.
BREAKING NEWS: Officials Are Evacuating a City in Kazakhstan Where Villagers Fall Asleep At Random. The only clue is they keep repeating something over and over while sleeping, “The Dream Healer has died. She is died.”
JEFF: Did you get there on time. I heard there was a wreck on the causeway?
KAREN: yea, I guess it was on the 192 causeway. then there were massive delays on eau gallie
KAREN: my anxiety is super bad
KAREN: i just had a convo with Fox, and she's super pumped and wants to go talk with the principal about stuff and i had to dampen it because you know, we aren't allowed to do shit without the OK.
JEFF: You can only do what you can do and then move on. If something good comes from it, it does, otherwise they are just being stupid and you are getting on with something else. You might know this but I didn't. I read today that exercise is supposed to be good for anxiety.
KAREN: I know. It's just frustrating. I don't want to be like everyone else on the student body group and basically spend my time being a buzzkill.
BREAKING NEWS: A Winter Springs man, 56, is dead after Volusia deputies say he killed himself after seeing Pulpy fly over the skies above his house.
KAREN: Alice Tanner just text me
JEFF: You hate Alice Tanner
KAREN: I hardly know Alice Tanner
JEFF: So what did Franz Kofka High’s rich hipster lesbian have to say?
KAREN: You know how she is always saying “her people” when it comes to gay stuff?
JEFF: You mean the way no one ever does, yes
KAREN: Yea, well you know what else no one ever does. No one texts you from the stirrups
JEFF:….
KAREN: She said her vagina needs special equipm
ent that most doctors don’t have
JEFF: You don’t understand her people veggiena struggles
KAREN: The Vagina Monologues
JEFF: I just did a spit take. I’m also pissed I didn’t think of that.
KAREN: Just why. She doesn’t know me. I don’t know her.
JEFF: Since she’s all vegan I bet its furless *cackling at my own joke*
KAREN: Stop
JEFF: One bad meatless taco
KAREN: Stop
JEFF: Not even vegan hotdogs allowed in.
KAREN: God
JEFF: Only small things period
KAREN: Ass
JEFF: Her people
KAREN: You are an asshole
JEFF: Funny how being an asshole makes me feel better :)
KAREN: This way to perfection
JEFF: That’s the motto tattooed above that taco
KAREN: Why do I like you?
JEFF: It probably smells like boiled cabbage
KAREN: Why does Gail talk to you?
JEFF: And has a tofu aftertaste
KAREN: IS NOW OFFLINE
BREAKING NEWS: Texas Is Spending Millions Keeping Beyond Human Detainees in Jail.
KAREN: exercise is supposed to be good. But I get depressed and can’t even start.
JEFF: I love you. You my bud and I'm your plus one
JEFF: I don't know if all the exercise stirred up something but my stomach is killing me. I think I'm allergic to water maybe?
KAREN: probably wasn't good that we had those big sandwiches and then exercised
JEFF: Those weren't big sandwiches. I don't know. Maybe my body is just use to feeling like shit
BREAKING NEWS: You Can Stay in a Tent in LA's Skid Row for $10 a Night. Get that authentic feel of being homeless and then walk down the street for a fine meal and movie. All for $10 with proof of residency.
KAREN: try to take it easy now
JEFF: I'm trying to finish up my thing for Gail. I have the door open to get fresh air. That at least is making the cats happy
BREAKING NEWS: The Soviet Union Dumped Thousands of Nuclear Submarines, Reactors, and Containers into the Ocean. Now that’s going to trigger a story in some writer at some point.
FOX: mmmm there are a million things to do
KAREN: ……..
BREAKING NEWS: A Guy Shot Someone Because They Wouldn't Roll Him a Cigarette.
GAIL: I love Geocaching.
JEFF: You know what happens to a black man who Geocaches or Munzees? They end up in jail.
KAREN: Wisdom from a brain who thinks Matt Smith is sexy.
JEFF: He is…
KAREN: NO EYEBROWS!
FOX: So true.
GAIL: I was talking people.
JEFF: Back to me being wise please.
BREAKING NEWS: Oklahoma Axing AP US History for Focusing on 'What Is Bad About America.
BREAKING NEWS: A Royal Canadian Mounted Police Report Said Pro Beyond Human Rights Activists Were National Security Threats.
BREAKING NEWS: A Memorial March Honored Canada's Murdered and Missing Indigenous Women. Government makes sure snipers on roofs were prepared for trouble. In statement from officials, “We have learned from the U.S.”
Notes From The Author
What I learned While Writing This: That this thing, called a brain, doesn’t really work that well for me.
Thanks for reading,
Brian C. Williams
https://twitter.com/hangofwednesday
https://underthetrainingbook.blogspot.com/
Other Stories by this author
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Tin Universe Middle Grade Series #4 *COMING 2016
Tin Universe Middle Grade Series #5 *COMING 2017
Tin Universe Middle Grade Series #6 *COMING 2018
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Tin Universe Monthly
{Monthly series that birthed the Tin Universe. More adult stories on a sort of, not so sort of monthly basis}
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Tin Universe Monthly #14c 2014 Easter Special
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Tin Universe Monthly #15b Extra Stuff In April Special
Tin Universe Monthly #16
Tin Universe Monthly #16b Memorial Day Special
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Tin Universe Monthly #21 A First Shot Fire, Part Three
Tin Universe Monthly #22 A First Shot Fire, Part Four
Tin Universe Monthly #23 A First Shot Fire, Part Five
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Tin Universe Weekly #223 *RETURNING 2017
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READING ORDER
Tin Universe Monthly #1
Tin Universe Middle Grade Series #1
Tin Universe Monthly #2
Tin Universe Middle Grade Series #2
Tin Universe Monthly #3
Tin Universe Middle Grade Series #3
Tin Universe Monthly #4
Tin Universe Monthly #5
Tin Universe Monthly #6
Tin Universe Monthly #7
Tin Universe Monthly #8
Tin Universe Monthly #9
Tin Universe Monthly #10
Tin Universe Monthly #11
Tin Universe Monthly #12
Tin Universe Monthly #13
Tin Universe Monthly #14
Tin Universe Monthly #14b 2014 April Fool’s Special
Tin Universe Monthly #14c 2014 Easter Special
Tin Universe Monthly #15
Tin Universe Monthly #15b Extra Stuff In April Special
Tin Universe Monthly #16
Tin Universe Monthly #16b Memorial Day Special
Tin Universe Monthly #17
Tin Universe Monthly #18
Tin Universe Monthly #19
Tin Universe Monthly #20 A First Shot Fire, Part Two
Tin Universe Monthly #21 A First Shot Fire, Part Three
Tin Universe Monthly #22 A First Shot Fire, Part Four
Tin Universe Monthly #23 A First Shot Fire, Part Five
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