Read To Knit or Not to Knit: Helpful and Humorous Hints for the Passionate Knitter Page 3


  Sincerely,

  Stumped about Socks in South Dakota

  DEAR STUMPED,

  For the longest time, I myself resisted knitting socks. Who cares about socks? I thought. They are so practical and so hidden in your shoes. I like to look at my knitting, not hide it away. However, when my friend Martha made a pair of socks, her face lit up and her eyes misted over whenever she spoke of them. So, I relented. I knit a pair in a soft wool blend. Pure luxury! Oh, happy day!

  “Her whole being dilated in an atmosphere of luxury. It was the background she required, the only climate she could breathe in.” The House of Mirth, Edith Wharton (1862–1937)

  I promise you, the first time you slip your feet into your hand-knit socks, your whole being will dilate in an atmosphere of luxury. You will know “immediately that it is the background your feet will require every winter, the only climate they could breathe in.”

  I wonder what kind of luxury Edith hid in her shoes?

  Sock Tidbit from the Seventeenth Century

  Did you know that if you were a peasant living in Denmark in 1636, you could be arrested for wearing footed stockings?

  It seems King Christian IV, ruler of Denmark and Norway, had some definite ideas about footwear. Since he was a king, he pretty much got to decide who could wear what in his kingdom. In the year 1636, he decreed that only the upper classes had the crown’s permission to wear footed stockings. All others found in the knitted footwear would be subject to arrest.

  As a peasant, you were allowed to knit footed stockings (to be sold to the nobles), but you were not allowed to wear them yourself. Thus, footless stockings or leggings were common in Denmark all the way up to the twentieth century.

  King Christian IV.

  A Peasant Meal, by the Le Nain Brothers, 17th century.

  DEAR MRS. WICKS,

  My sister is getting married and planning a honeymoon in Iceland. I’ve already knit her and her fiancé some matching mittens but wanted to add something a little more unusual or funny. Any ideas?

  Sincerely,

  Looking for a Laugh in Rhode Island

  DEAR LOOKING,

  Funny you should ask. Recently, when my daughter-in-law complained that her nose was always cold in the winter, the mother in me listened with concern, while the knitter in me was already dreaming up a pattern. I have no shame—I knit her a nose-warmer! Mr. Wicks took one look at it and said there should be a law against such a thing. I am glad there is not because the recipient actually wore it (at least she said she did). If you are looking for a quick stocking-stuffer that is guaranteed to bring on some giggles, a nose-warmer is just the thing.

  MRS. WICKS’ NOSE-WARMER

  “Shame may restrain what law does not prohibit.”

  Lucius Annaeus Seneca

  4 BC–AD 65.

  Let’s Begin!

  Materials

  Yarn: A nose-worth of fingering weight or DK yarn of your choice

  Needles: Set of US size 1 or 2 double-pointed needles

  Notions: 1 package ¼-inch elastic (optional)

  Sewing needle

  Ribbons of choice for tassel (optional)

  Cast on 38 stitches and join

  Row 1–2: K1, P1 row.

  Row 3–4: K all stitches.

  Row 5: * K5, K2 tog, repeat from * to end.

  Row 6: K all stitches.

  Row 7: * K4, K2 tog, repeat from * to end.

  Row 8: K all stitches.

  Row 9: * K3, K2 tog, repeat from * to end.

  Row 10: K all stitches.

  Row 11: * K2, K2 tog, repeat from * to end.

  Row 12: K all stitches.

  Row 13:* K1, K2 tog, repeat from * to end.

  Row 14: K all stitches.

  Row 15: * K2 tog, repeat from * to end.

  Cut yarn and pull stitches through remaining stitches and weave in ends.

  Cut one strip of elastic long enough to fit comfortably around head. Sew onto either side of nose-warmer. Ribbon or yarn can also be used. Attach tassel if desired for an even more ridiculous look.

  DEAR MRS. WICKS,

  My partner and I just moved into our dream house. On a whim, my partner bought enough yarn to knit some colorful Fair Isle patterned cushions for the living room sofa. He had never done colorwork before, but said he always wished he could. I think he expected it to be fun after all our unpacking.

  He was happy enough at the start, but then he began to complain about “carrying all these strands and all of these darn ends to weave in!” Now every time he takes his knitting out, he gnashes his teeth and mutters under his breath. This project has made him so cranky that I have to leave the room whenever his knitting comes out. If this keeps up, we may need separate houses.

  Sincerely,

  High Hopes for Some Color Gone Cranky in Virginia

  DEAR HIGH HOPES,

  The hard lesson here is that shopping for a project on a whim and a wish is not always the best recipe for success. When it comes to expectations, no one said it better than Mark Twain.

  “Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.”

  Mark Twain (1835–1910)

  Colorwork takes patience and concentrated attention. It is not difficult, but it can be demanding. Many knitters, seasoned or otherwise, grit their teeth at the mention of “weaving in ends of colorwork.” Then again, there are those of us who actually enjoy the simplicity of all that sewing.

  It could just be a matter of where your partner is in his life right now. Moving into a new house can be stressful enough without taking on other new projects. I suggest he put this one away for now and knit something less demanding. He can always return to the cushions when he’s feeling less stressed. I find that sometimes I haven’t the patience for colorwork with a lot of sewing, while other times, it is all I want to do. There’s a lovely old saying, “My soul is fed with needle and thread.”

  Expectations can give us the courage to try new things, but they can also serve up quite a wallop when things don’t work out as we’d hoped. Samuel Clemens’s own life was sad proof of this. He and his wife, Livy, shared great expectations for their dream house, which they built in Hartford, CT in 1873.

  “To us, our house . . . had a heart, and a soul, and eyes to see us with; and approvals and solicitudes and deep sympathies; it was of us, and we were in its confidence and lived in its grace and in the peace of its benediction.”

  Unfortunately, Sam Clemens, while a genius with his pen, was a disaster with his money. His financial problems grew so severe by 1891, that he and his family were forced to leave the Hartford home they so loved, to travel about Europe, where the family could live off the lectures Clemens gave. When their daughter, Suzy, died in 1896, Livy found the Hartford house too full of memories to return to. The family never lived there again.

  Color is part of the natural cycle of life and we are hard-wired to respond to it. Artists throughout time have been drawn to the drama of color and have it used it to express all manner of emotions.

  So too knitters can use color to create exciting projects that unlock their imaginations. One of the top designers in her field, Kristin Nicholas, has dazzled us with her bold color choices and joyful pattern work. This kind of inspired knitting is what raises the craft to an art form.

  Life is full of twists and turns and loose threads that must be woven in. What often sees us through these difficult passages is a combination of hope and patience. While colorwork is not for everyone, it can add an exciting dimension to your knitting repertoire. One day your partner may find that he comes to enjoy the process after all, opening up a whole new world of color for him. “My soul is fed with needle and thread . . .”

  Portrait of a Lady in Yellow was painted by the Florentine artist Alesso Baldovinetti (1465)

  Peasant Woman Threading a Needle, Jules Breton

  (French Realist Painter, 1827–1906)

  DEAR MRS. WICKS,

  I was so happy when I began my garter stitch sweater, but no
w that I am in the middle of it, I don’t even want to pick it up. Where did the love go?

  Sincerely,

  Out-of-Love in Georgia

  DEAR OUT-OF-LOVE,

  You are suffering from a common knitter’s condition: The Mid-Garter Stitch Sweater Crisis. Unfortunately, there is very little mention of this condition in the knitting literature. There is much musing about the excited beginning or the thrills of the ending, but hardly a word about the middle. Here is Beatrix Potter, waxing giddy about beginnings.

  As with any knitting project, there is something delicious about casting on those first stitches. You never quite know where they will take you.

  “There is something delicious about writing the first words of a story. You never quite know where they’ll take you.”

  Beatrix Potter (1866–1943)

  Of course, one is overcome with joy when the end of the sweater is finally in sight, and that last row is ready to be cast off. But it is in the middle of the garter stitch sweater that a knitter’s true stamina is needed. Here, the drudgery of knitting row after row of the same stitch can bring a lesser knitter to her knees. It can play havoc with your mind.

  You may find yourself thinking dark thoughts about the person who wrote up the pattern for that garter stitch sweater. What had turned her so cruel? And how does she sleep at night? But these thoughts are of no use to you now because you’ve got the whole other half of the garter stitch sweater to complete. The only known remedy for your condition is to stick with it, much like a dog with a bone. Once you get past that middle, your steadfastness will reward you and your love for the craft will return. I promise.

  DEAR MRS. WICKS,

  I was recently invited to a baby shower. I knit a pair of baby booties. I liked making them so much that I knit two more pairs. Do you think three pairs is too many?

  Sincerely,

  Carried Away in Montana

  DEAR CARRIED AWAY,

  Only three pairs? I would say you showed great restraint. I once started knitting booties for a baby shower and had such a yearning to keep going after the first dozen pairs, I could hardly stop myself. I ended up knitting sixty booties—one pair for each day of the month! I thought this a brilliant idea at the time. I blame this insanity on Joseph Conrad, whose collection of stories I happened to be reading.

  As I said, I thought a month’s supply of baby booties a brilliant idea, that is until the day of the shower, when the mother-to-be opened my gift and the look of total bewilderment on her face convinced me otherwise.

  “In order to move others deeply we must deliberately allow ourselves to be carried away beyond the bounds of our normal sensibility.”

  Joseph Conrad (1857–1924)

  Note to self: Babies’ feet grow faster than grass. I foolishly did not think to knit the booties in different sizes. The child outgrew twenty-eight of the thirty pairs before he even put his toes in them.

  An Alternative to Knitting Sixty Booties:

  Mrs. Wicks’ Baby Shower Set

  (Mixing two patterns together)

  Once you’ve mastered basic sweater knitting, there is no reason to restrict yourself to using just one pattern. For this baby sweater (destined for a baby shower gift), I used Melinda Goodfellow’s Mock Cable Sweater and added the flower design from Alice Starmore’s Charts for Color Knitting. The combination of the two gave me just the sweater I was looking for. Add a simple mitten with a flower embroidered in the center and a beret to go with it, and you have an heirloom shower gift.

  Also, when knitting for a baby shower, try using larger patterns, such as for six-month- to one-year-olds. Since most shower gifts are in newborn sizes, the new mother will appreciate having a few things the baby can grow into. Just be sure to check the season and knit with the appropriate yarns such as cotton and bamboo for spring and summer, and wool and wool blends for winter.

  Here is the same sweater in a pullover with contrasting designs, again from Alice Strarmore’s Charts for Color Knitting. Casting on and binding off with a contrasting color is an effective way to add zest to an otherwise quiet look.

  DEAR MRS. WICKS,

  My best friend’s birthday is coming up, and I was thinking of buying her some knitting lessons, but she is going through a divorce. Would this be a good time for her to learn to knit or should she wait until she is less stressed out?

  Sincerely,

  Which Way to Go? in Hawaii

  “To acquire the habit of reading is to construct for yourself a refuge from almost all the miseries of life.” Somerset Maugham (1874–1965)

  “To acquire the habit of knitting is to construct for yourself a refuge from almost all the miseries of life.” Mrs. Wicks

  DEAR WHICH WAY,

  Do buy your friend those lessons. Knitting is a great self-soother in times of stress.

  You can seek shelter in your knitting through some of the most difficult traumas in life, such as death, divorce, living with teenagers. It can offer a soothing constant in the turmoil of change.

  During the weeks before my father died, he was exhausted and depressed. He had lost his eyesight a few years earlier and his will to live as well. I felt helpless to make things better for him. All I could do was to be there in that sad, hopeless place, and wait with him. There was little conversation between us. He was too tired to talk. After he became blind, he grew more and more remote. A quiet, gentle man, he sat now, waiting in his dark silence, tethered to a world his body seemed anxious to leave.

  So I knit as I waited with him in that silence. I decided to make him a scarf even though it was June and it would be months before he could wear it. As I watched the perfect order of my cables unfolding, I found comfort in the beauty of that order. It was soothing to feel the softness of the wool and think about the warmth I hoped it would bring him. It was a small thing, this knitting of mine, yet it buoyed my spirits and kept me connected to hope, even if it was just the hope that I could make my father something beautiful and useful.

  Man Winding Yarn by Vincent van Gogh (1884)

  He finally died without struggle a short time later, surrounded by everyone who loved him most. I never did finish the scarf I had begun for him. Instead, I unraveled all of those perfect cables. I cried as I rewound that soft, warm wool and relived those last moments I had with my father. I put the skeins away. It was not until years later that I took them out and realized there was just enough yarn there to knit a baby sweater for my first grandson and my father’s first great-grandson.

  Knitting can seem like such a small thing, but when caught in the storm of life’s bigger miseries, a small thing can be just the thing we need.

  DEAR MRS. WICKS,

  As a new knitter, I find myself dropping stitches and not realizing it until I have finished a number of rows. Must I rip them all out and go back, or is there some quick fix for the dropped stitch?

  Sincerely,

  Stitch Dropper in Utah

  DEAR STITCH DROPPER,

  There is a fix for the dropped stitch, but it is requires a steady hand as you go back and ladder up from the dropped stitch to the stitches on your needle. Begin by picking up the dropped stitch with a smaller needle. I use a crochet hook but any needle will work. If the stitch is a knit stitch, you will ladder up on the right side of your work. If it is a dropped purl stitch, you will work on the back of your work.

  Sometimes we are so busy thinking about what comes next, we forget to look back. Madam Curie understood this when she wrote,

  Dropping stitches is a common mistake made by many new knitters who are not looking back to check on their stitches as they work. If you are too anxious to see what comes next, you might miss the stitch you dropped three rows back. While it is possible to pick up dropped stitches, it is better to not drop them at all. A wise knitter always looks back.

  “One never notices what had been done; one can only see what remains to be done.” Marie Curie (1867–1934)

  This same advice applies to dealing with dysfunctio
nal boyfriends. If you keep looking forward, hoping for a happy ending and ignoring his missteps (like forgetting your birthday or forgetting to ask you to marry him), chances are there will be much ripping out in your future (and a good bit of it will be your heart).

  So in matters in love and fiber, remember Madam Curie’s words, and do take the time to look back.

  P.S. For another alternative to the bad boyfriend syndrome, you can always knit yourself a good boyfriend instead, as Dutch designer, Noortje de Keijzer, did.

  This is an excellent knitterly solution to the bad boyfriend problem. Noortje created a customized man-shaped pillow women can use to replace those bad boys, once and for all. She looks content waking up with her new boyfriend she calls Arthur.

  “You look just perfect, and you fit in my interior perfectly,” Noortje tells him. “My cat likes you, my friends like you too, and you will never leave me. You make me laugh every time I come home.”

  DEAR MRS. WICKS,

  I travel by train to my job every day. I have just learned to knit and thought I could use my time on the train to work on a project. What should I pack in my knitting bag, besides yarn and needles?

  Sincerely,

  Knitter on the Rails in New Jersey

  “It’s always tea-time . . .”

  Alice in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll (1832–1898)

  “It’s always time for a bit of a knit . . .” Mrs. Wicks

  DEAR KNITTER ON THE RAILS,

  This is an excellent question as a well-packed knitting bag is invaluable for the knitter who travels.

  Let us begin with the bag itself. Make sure that it is large and sturdy. Choose one that has pockets to hold notions and smaller items, such as buttons and thread.