I wasn't quite sure how or when it had happened, but I'd begun to feel like an unwelcome stranger in my own home.
That probably explained why I found myself in the library yet again, at eight o'clock on a Wednesday morning. Not because I had to study or was desperately trying to finish a paper. No, I actually didn't have any schoolwork to do at all. But sitting in the library, watching funny videos on my laptop was better than sitting at the breakfast table with Sam, who kept looking at me as if he expected me to grow a second head at any second, and a sulking, rude Darcy who took every opportunity to snap at me.
Darce was so moody all the time, I seriously considered signing him up for counselling.
Allie wasn't much better. I hadn't heard a single word from her in three days. The only way I could find out if she was still alive was by asking her friend Jessica to call her for me. Whenever Jessica handed me the phone, though, Al hung up.
Maybe I should have known then that our relationship was over. But I was still hanging on to the good memories, blocking out all the questions and doubts in my mind.
It was raining buckets, and I wasn't even wearing a jacket. I cursed myself as I sat in the car, waiting for it to die down a little. But the storm only seemed to get worse, so I finally decided, to hell with it, I would just have to be fast.
I got out, slammed the door, locked it, and ran. It was easier said than done. The ground was slick with a mixture of ice and snow. I'd almost made it to the library, when I heard something that made me pause.
I would recognise their voices anywhere.
Allie's pleading voice, and Darcy's angry one drifted towards me.
“Just stay away, please”, I heard Allie say. “You're messing up everything. Don't make it worse.”
“You're making it worse”, Darcy shot back. “You and your stupid safety nets. Just take a risk, dammit. Make that jump, and I swear I'll catch you at the bottom.”
That was the moment I stepped around the corner.
What I saw, made my blood run cold. I didn't think, I didn't ask questions, I simply acted on my feelings, stepped forward, pushed Allie behind me, and then punched Darcy square in the face.
He stumbled back, clearly not having seen it coming. And how could he have? His eyes had been closed.
“What the fuck?! What the actual fuck do you think you're doing?!” I probably looked like a madman.
“I'm sorry”, was all he had to say. Darcy's eyes weren't focused on me, though. No, he was looking right past me, staring at Allie.
I'd known it. Deep down, I'd always known it.
I swung again. Darcy didn't even try to stop me. He just stood there and took my punches.
For some reason, that just made me even angrier.
“Do something, you arsehole!” I shouted. “Don't just fucking stand there and do nothing!”
Darcy just looked at me as if inviting me to hit him again.
I did. This time I went for his midsection. Darcy toppled over, losing his footing on the slippery ground. I went down with him, continuing to throw punches.
Somewhere in my peripheral vision, I was aware of Allie, pleading with me to stop.
I didn't.
I couldn't. It was as though my brain had shut off, allowing the most primal instincts to take hold. All I could focus on was my best friend—if I could still call him that—the guy who had broken the most sacred of rules a friendship has.