Alex grabbed him by the collar and jerked him closer. “No, I don’t. I do know that Grace and I are both incredibly content and happy with each other. Happier than I could have ever imagined, probably happier than I deserve. And I know that you are much better with Eleanor, and she with you.”
James jerked away from his hold. “They know! All of England knows that Eleanor has been to Lady Lavender’s. They know she cheated on her husband!”
His face softened some as understanding dawned. “Perhaps it’s best.”
“How can you say that?”
“Whether she is with you or not, Eleanor will be shunned because of her divorce. At least with you she has a chance at love and happiness! This is your chance, do not throw it away. Not only will you be ruining your life, but hers as well.”
James swallowed hard as Alex’s words hit him. The fight went out, fading into nothingness. He didn’t want to struggle anymore. He didn’t want to merely be. He wanted a life with Ellie. “I’m an idiot.”
Alex shrugged, grinning. “Yes, you are. But I’ve had my own idiotic moments, although I will deny I ever said that.”
“She hates me.”
He rested his hand on James’s shoulder. “She’s protecting herself. She’s been beaten down her entire life and she could not let you hurt her as well. She did what she learned to do years ago… survive. The very same thing we learned as young lads. Listen, James, we have only a few chances in life to truly be happy. Take your chance and let Ellie take hers. Don’t steal that from her.”
He was right. James glanced hungrily at the large inn. How could he be so damn stupid? He wasn’t just destroying his own chance, but Ellie’s as well. Without response, James spun around and started toward the inn. He could only pray that she would forgive him. He swept past Patience and into the common room.
“Back again?” the innkeeper called out warily from behind the table he was cleaning.
“Is she still here?”
“Yer wife?”
James nodded, his heart hammering madly. He needed to see her, to hold her, to tell her he’d never walk out again. They had a chance, damn it all, and they were going to take it.
“Aye, she is, but with another visitor.”
James froze. “Visitor?”
“A man, just came in through the back a moment ago. Asked if I could help him but he ignored me.”
“Shite.” James bolted toward the steps.
“Don’t want any trouble,” the innkeeper called out. “Ye break anything, you pay for it!”
James took the steps three at a time, icy fear like a snowstorm pounding through his veins. If anything happened to her, it would be his fault. He tried the door but found it locked. James pounded his fists on the wooden panel. “Ellie?”
No response.
A shiver of unease whispered over his skin. He stepped back, and with all his strength, he rushed toward the door, hitting it with his shoulder. The wood cracked, the hinges splintering. James kicked the door wide. Ellie stood in the center of the room, her husband behind her, a knife at her throat.
James froze, even as he saw red, and had to resist the urge to tear the man’s head form his body. “You want to hurt someone, hurt me, you bastard.”
“Oh, I will,” Lord Beckett seethed. “You have ruined my life, you’ve destroyed my future, and I will not leave this earth without destroying yours as well.”
Vengeance. They’d been surrounded by those wanting vengeance, people out to destroy them, for years. He was tired of it. “We can all have a life,” James said, lowering his arms. “If you don’t do this, you can still have a life. We all can.”
“Humiliated?” the man cried out, tightening his arm around Ellie. She pressed her lips together and he could tell she was trying very hard not to whimper. “How can I have a life when I’ll be shunned? Laughed at? Even if I get away with murdering that bitch, I have no life now. It’s over!”
This was his fault; he never should have left her unprotected. “You’ll live your life based on what other people think?”
“I have no choice!” he growled. “You wouldn’t understand.”
James had the sickening feeling the man was too far gone. Perhaps Gideon had been right and killing someone changed a person completely.
“Drop the knife,” Alex demanded from behind James. “Or I’ll shoot you, and I have to warn you I’m a crack shot.”
“You think I care?” Lord Beckett shifted, moving Ellie directly in front of him, and pressed the knife to her neck so hard that a spot of brilliant red pierced her pale skin.
The sight of her blood sent his anger raging. James felt hot, and he had to resist the urge to rush toward her. If Alex was going to act, he better do so quickly.
“I’m going to die anyway, and she, at least, is going with me.” Lord Beckett moved the knife to her chest. Ellie’s gaze met James’s, and in that split second he saw her good-bye.
“No!” James burst forward. With one hand he tore Ellie from the man, shoving her away while hitting her husband with his body. They fell to their knees with a thud that shook the room. Ellie was safe, she had to be safe.
It was as they hit floor that he felt the sharp point of the knife. The blade slid into his body, piercing the skin, the muscle, hitting bone and stopping. Lord Beckett shifted back and tore the knife from James. The sharp sting gave way to numbness. His legs went out and he slid to the ground, his back hitting the hard floor. The ceiling overhead spun, and shouts became muffled cries. James could feel the warmth of his own blood pooling on the floor beneath him.
“No!” Ellie screamed.
Lord Beckett lifted the knife, looming over James, his face twisted into an angry scowl. He wasn’t done after all. James knew he had to move… had to save his own life, but couldn’t seem to make his body obey. Hell, he was going to die. Alex stepped over the threshold, pistol raised. A sudden blast rang through the room. Lord Beckett’s eyes went wide as red spread across the white linen covering his shoulder. Ellie’s husband hit the ground hard.
Ellie was suddenly pressing a blanket to James’s wound, tears trailing down her pale cheeks. “You’ll be all right. I know you will.” She gave him a wobbly smile that warmed his cold body.
Trembling, he reached out, grasping on to her hands. “Let’s have a life together, Ellie. Will you?”
“Of course.” Her lower lip shook as tears shimmered in her beautiful eyes. “I want nothing more, James.”
He pressed her hands to his chest. “We can be happy together, can’t we?”
“Yes. Yes, we can.” She leaned down and pressed her lips to his. The scent of roses swept around him, drowning out the aroma of blood and death. “We will.”
It was enough. With her beautiful words in his ears, and the picture of him and Ellie together forever in his mind, James gave in to temptation and closed his eyes.
Chapter 20
“Almost there,” Eleanor said softly, her gaze fastened to the window.
She knew she looked ridiculous with her nose practically pressed to the glass but was determined to see the cottage the moment the house came into view. She was eager to relive her childhood with James and to show him the peace she had experienced those years ago.
“You’re sure you don’t want to stay in London to see Lord Beckett hang? I bleedin’ hell wouldn’t mind.”
She shook her head. “No. He holds no interest.” She glanced shyly at James. “Is it wrong that I feel sorry for his family?”
He drew his knuckles down the side of her face. “Not at all. Just shows what I knew all along… that you’ve got a heart bigger than anyone.”
Ellie grinned. She wanted to share everything with him… the man she loved. She wanted nothing to do with her former world. They would have a new life, whatever it may be, but she knew without a doubt they would be happy here. For the past two weeks, while they were getting things settled in London, they had lain in bed at night sharing their dreams and hopes. She could hardly believe they were fina
lly seeing those dreams fulfilled.
James reached out, resting his hand on hers, a comforting touch. He knew how much this moment meant to her. It was the one place where, as a child, she’d found comfort. The home of the one woman who had been on her side even after her marriage. Aunt Jeanie would have helped her if she hadn’t died so early on. Then again, she supposed she was helping her even now… from the heavens.
“Every summer,” she said, “I visited here. Mostly to get out of my mother’s hair. But I didn’t care. Aunt Jeanie was wonderful. So very warm and caring, open and kind.”
“So that’s where you get it?”
She grinned. “For those brief moments I didn’t have to worry about what was proper. We’d wade in the creek, climb trees…”
“No,” he whispered with feigned horror.
“Indeed.” She winked up at him.
“I think I’d like to see you with your hair down, in this said creek.”
“A picnic by the creek… is that how we’ll spend our days?”
He shrugged as much as his injury would allow. “Why not?”
She took in a deep breath; the giddy happiness had not fled in the past two weeks. “We’re free.”
“Yes.”
She continually had to remind herself that Lord Beckett could no longer harm her. Although James was free as well, she knew it would take some time before they would be able to release their pasts and accept their newfound fate. “Free to do whatever we please.”
“You’re sure,” he said, his voice husky with emotion. “You’re sure you can handle the stigma of marrying a whore?”
She rested her hand upon the side of his face. “You’re not a whore. You’re a man who did what he thought best for his family.”
He brushed a kiss across her lips. “And I love you for believing that.”
She lay her head upon his shoulder and looked out the window once more. When the familiar stone fence came into view, her heart leapt into her throat. Perhaps the place wasn’t in complete disrepair, if the fence was still standing. The elm trees gave way and there it was… a lovely redbrick home that had been in her mother’s family for generations.
“Rose Cottage,” she whispered.
A home. A true home. A true beginning. James took her hand in his and the mere warmth of his palm was most welcome. If only they had family to share this moment. Fanny had taken a position closer to her parents and Arabella still refused to leave the church.
“I’m sorry your sister wouldn’t come with us.”
He shrugged. “Not all people are as forgiving as you.”
He pretended indifference, but she knew better. Eleanor had to resist the urge to hold him. “This is our new beginning,” she whispered. “Our future.”
He gave a quick nod, swallowing hard. “I swear I will do my best to make you happy.”
“If there is one thing I have learned it is that no one can make anyone happy. It’s up to me, isn’t it?”
He smiled gently at her. “Still, I’ll try.”
“I will be happy. How can I not with everything I’ve been given? It was worth it, James, all the pain I went through was worth it for this. I choose to believe that we can have a life. I choose to believe in happily ever afters.”
He slid his arm around her waist and pulled her close. “You choose to believe in me, and that’s more than I could ever ask for.”
The carriage slowed. Her excitement was almost palpable, a tingling awareness of life, of a future. Her chance at a marriage, a true marriage. A true family. “The gardens are treated and the house looks in good shape. Mr. and Mrs. Swann have done well.”
The driver open the door. James’s side was healing nicely, but as he jumped outside she noticed the slight grimace. When she thought about how close they’d come… she felt utterly ill. Ellie stepped from the carriage, her foot hitting the familiar gravel path. Slowly, she tilted her head back and merely studied the place. The familiarity of the building produced a combination of sweet memories and excitement for a future. For a brief moment she felt ten once more, and the happiness and hope that went with being a child swept over her.
“It’s home,” she whispered.
The same brilliant white door, the red and pink roses climbing up the stone. The same foxglove and hollyhock wavering upon the warm breeze. The same species of butterflies and songbirds fluttering through the garden. Everything was exactly as it had been. Even the glass in the windows sparkled and shone.
“It’s home.” She knelt and picked a rose, breathing in the familiar scent. “Home.” Eleanor surged to her feet and spun around. On either side of the estate, flower gardens still grew. She could imagine the apple trees in the back and couldn’t wait to make her aunt’s infamous pie.
She turned, her skirts flaring wide, and faced James. He’d been so quiet since their arrival. Perhaps the building wasn’t to his liking. Perhaps the town they’d passed some fifteen minutes ago was too small. “What say you, James? Can you think of this place as home?”
He stepped closer to her and cupped the side of her face. “I can think of anywhere as home, as long as you are with me.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and stood on tiptoe. “You flatter me too much.”
“No, not enough.”
“Ahhmm.” The driver cleared his throat. “Shall I carry your bags inside?”
James grinned. “No, no, we’re fine. Leave them there.”
Ellie flushed, having forgotten the man still stood there. But then she was constantly forgetting herself around James. “Thank you.”
“Whatever you wish.” The man jumped back onto the coach, lifted the reins, and sped away. Ellie waited until the crunch of wheels over gravel faded, until they were alone. Silence settled around them, a warm breeze wafting through the garden and sending flower petals through the air like colorful, silken raindrops. Standing in front of Rose Cottage with James at her side felt utterly right.
“Come.” Eleanor took his hand. “I want to show you our new home.”
The door opened easily under her hand. The wooden floors were polished, and a large vase of pink roses waited on the round table that stood in the middle of the foyer. A parlor was on the left, and on the right was the library where she and her aunt had spent rainy afternoons reading. She pressed her hands to her breasts, the tightness in her chest overwhelming. Even the scent was the same. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply… lemon, soap, and roses.
“It’s just as it was those many years ago.” She peeked into the parlor. The furniture was still the same antique pieces her aunt had collected; the small pianoforte was nestled in the corner near the windows. She’d played on that piano, watching the birds nest, while her aunt knit on the settee.
“You do like it?” She turned to face James, who still stood in the foyer. He seemed so lost, so unsure. Her excitement faded.
“Hell, I’m overwhelmed, Ellie,” he admitted, raking back his hair. “I never… ever assumed I would own a place so lovely. I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve you.”
Ellie raced to him and threw her arms around his neck, pressing her mouth to his. “You do, James, you deserve everything and more. You showed me that I didn’t have to accept my lot in life. If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t be here.”
She slid her hands up his chest, underneath his jacket, and over the fine linen of his waistcoat. “There’s so much to see.”
He grinned. “What first? The gardens? The kitchen?”
She stepped away from him and walked backward to the steps. “Next,” she said, resting her hand on the baluster, “we are going to make this house truly ours.”
He started slowly toward her, a gleam in his eyes that made her feel hot and flushed. “And how will we do that?”
She leaned into him and took his earlobe between her teeth. “By making love to you… in every room.”
“Dear God, woman,” he hissed as she pressed her lips to his neck. “There are a lot of rooms here.” r />
“Yes, but we have a lifetime to see it through.” She took his hand and led him up the stairs. “Come along, I’ll be gentle, I promise.”
“My sweetling. My rose amongst weeds.” Ellie felt the gentle press of James’s mouth on her cheek, forehead, lips. His warm body nestled against her back was heaven. Sunlight filtered in through the curtains, and in the air hung the heavy scent of roses. She cracked her lids. The windows were open, and the lovely sound of birds chirping floated in on the breeze. For the first time in months she felt alive, hopeful, and excited about the day.
She rolled over and wrapped her arms around his neck. Last night after having made love in the bedroom, they’d headed to the kitchen to find it stocked with food. Thank God she’d thought to send word to Mr. and Mrs. Swann. They’d even found the beds cleaned and made before collapsing onto the large four-poster in the main chamber. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pressed her hips to his.
“I see you’ve recovered from last night.” She grinned as his erection pulsed against her aching folds. “I think I just might have recovered as well.”
She pressed her lips to his chin, then lower to his neck. She loved the fact that his scent was on the sheets, and on her. Loved that she could sleep next to his warm body and wake up to his kisses. It was a novelty that she had never experienced and knew she would never tire of.
“Ellie, love.”
She slid her hands over his broad shoulders while pressing light kisses to the corners of his mouth. “How I adore you.”
He chuckled. “Me, or my body?”
She grinned, sliding her hands down his biceps. “Both, most certainly both.”
He settled his hands on her thighs and gently pushed her away. “Perhaps it’s best if we wait.”
“James.” She sat up, her hair falling down around her shoulders. “Is it your injury?”
“No, merely do not want to be caught in a compromising position.”
She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “Whatever do you mean?” It was then that she heard the sound of wheels over gravel. “Oh dear God.” She jumped off the bed and raced to the windows. A small open carriage was headed down the drive. “Someone is here!”