Almost a week after the sleepover at Ash’s place I sit between my dad and Maxwell Williams behind a mahogany table facing a Judge, I’m currently missing double history with Humphrey and I’ll probably be missing the rest of my school day so that my mum can get her say in court about who I should be living with. My mum sits at the other end of the long table with her lawyer. The Judge is an elderly man with big round framed glasses and surprisingly a full head of snow coloured hair, I can imagine him with a purple rinse but it makes me want to laugh too much to continue along that train of thought with him wearing a matching purple track suit. Better stop while I’m ahead.
The Judge clears his throat before he looks directly at me; I have that prickly sensation that suggests that someone was talking to you while you were off in la-la land. Uh oh! “Miss Jenson would you like to answer some questions so that I know what you’d like to happen from your perspective?”
I look at Maxwell and he nods his head slowly to show that it’s not a matter of do I want to answer questions but rather I have to answer questions. “Um…sure I’m ok with that.”
The Judge looks at me quizzically before he goes on -almost as if he has to decipher teenager talk- “Ok so let’s begin with what’s your relationship like with your dad?”
I almost laugh at how absurdly easy this question is I kind of wish all my exams at school had questions along the same lines as this one because I would score marks for an easy answer. “Dad and I are pretty close; he knows all my friends and I tell him about everything even my boyfriend status. He knows all my school dramas and sibling dramas. Talking to dad is pretty easy he doesn’t judge he just…listens and gives me great advice.”
The Judge smiles encouragingly at me, “Do you have the same kind of relationship with your mum?”
I do laugh because honestly my mum doesn’t even rank on my list of confidantes. “You’re kidding right?”
Maxwell nudges me and starts shaking his head disapprovingly at me, ok so I apparently made a court room faux pas, oops! “Can you explain what your relationship is like with your mum?”
“Sure...when I visit mum she’s not very interested in actually spending quality time with me. Call it abandonment issues but I don’t feel close with her and she doesn’t make it easy either. She judges me because I’m not very girly and she judges the people I am friends with. I find it really hard to open up to her because…she doesn’t listen to what I have to say and she only hears what she wants to hear.” I avoid looking down the other end of the table at my mum but I have a sinking suspicion that she’s glaring daggers at me right about now.
The Judge strikes a pose -one hand clenched with his head perched on it and the other scratching his ear, it reminds me of the statue dubbed The Thinker- which is highly comical when I start revising the image of purple rinse, matching tracksuit and the pose, all he’d need to add was seriously bushy eyebrows and he could pass off as John Howard, leaving out the purple rinse of course!
I stare up at the Judge begging him to let me stay with my dad and continue dating Josh. Josh wouldn’t understand the way my mum lives and would get angry at me for letting her take over my life, not that I’d really have a choice in the matter. The Judge looks at my mum then at my dad, “I know it’s never easy raising children especially when you’re no longer together but you still need to keep in mind what’s best for the child.” He pauses to look at me, I seriously love this old man because he’s actually lecturing my parents for thinking about what they want and not what I want. “Now Kayley has made it very clear what she wants to happen and in this situation I happen to agree with her. It’s in your daughter’s best interest to stay with her father because they have a better relationship and uprooting her now would be detrimental to the growth that she has made since the original break down of the family dynamic.”
I want to jump up and down and do a victory dance but the tears streaming down my mum’s face stop me from actually doing it. When I woke up this morning I had no idea that I would be in a court room having to explain why I would rather live with my dad. I kind of feel bad for my mum but then I think about how uncomfortable it would be to live with my mum full time and that makes me feel pretty relieved that the Judge decided to let me remain with my dad after all.
The judge says some mumbo-jumbo legal talk to the lawyers which I assume to mean that we are free to leave because everyone stands up to watch the judge walk out of the room then we all exit through the doors we came in. The only thing stopping me between the courtroom and freedom is my dad’s hand on my arm stopping me from moving forward, “Kayley, I think you should go talk to your mother. You may dislike what she did to our family but she wouldn’t have done what she did if she was happy and in the end she is still your mother.”
“But dad…?” Freedom is looking even further out of my reach now. My dad has a point though, maybe if she had been happy she wouldn’t have run off with her boy toy and maybe my parents would still be together.
“No buts Kayley Daniela Jenson now march your butt over there and talk to her.” I look at my dad aghast; he only says my full name when he’s frustrated with me for questioning his motives.
I sigh inwardly; this is so not going to be the easiest conversation to have with my mum. What am I even thinking? This is so not going to be a conversation with my mum because I have no idea what to say to her. “Alright, I’m walking. Are you happy now?”
My dad just quirks the edges of his mouth without even saying anything to me, great now my dad thinks I’m going to say something really impressive to her when really I have no idea what he wants me to say to her!
I walk towards my mum standing beside her –yes I’m thinking it, smoking hot- lawyer, wow some guys can really pull off a suit, I mean how many guys do you see besides Ryan Gosling who can pull off a suit and look incredibly hot and sexy at the same time? Just because I’m in a relationship it doesn’t mean I can’t notice attractive guys.
My mum looks up at me and smiles. I seriously didn’t think she would smile at me after hearing me speak so negatively about her. “Kayley, I only ever wanted to do what was best for you. Remaining in a marriage where I was never going to be happy would have hurt you as well. I know you think I’m some sort of callous bitch for leaving your dad for another man but one day you will realise that happiness is rare and should be grasped with both hands.”
I wipe away a stray tear that trickles its way down my cheek. I guess I finally understand what my mum is telling me. She had a chance for happiness and she took it knowing that I would despise her but she did it because she didn’t want me to grow up in an environment where my parents weren’t happy. “I understand mum. I can’t blame you for wanting to be happy, everyone deserves to be happy. It just hurt is all.”
My mum pulls me into a tight hug and for the first time in a long time I let her. I look over her shoulder to see my dad swiping away a stray tear; I guess all he ever wanted was for the people he loved to be happy. I suddenly wish that Mitch was here to reconcile with mum as well but I can’t expect everything to be perfect.