Life’s Log June 14
I had a very unusual experience yesterday. About all that I can remember is dancing with Luke and everything went blank. It seemed like I was floating. I could see everything as if I was lying on the ceiling, as if that is even possible. The next thing that I saw was someone drowning. She looked familiar but I can’t say who she was or even if we've ever met. That strange sensation of floating was terrifying yet also exhilarating…
Chapter Five
After Victoria was told the truth there was no stopping Jonathan. He forced her to do things that she could never (consciously) repeat to anyone. Though subconsciously the events that happened on every horrifying day manifested themselves into the dreams of Katherine and Annabelle. Even though they had always dreamed about the mountains of Tennessee and the people that lived there. The dreams were nothing like the terrifying nightmares that had now begun…
Now that Victoria knew the truth Jonathan saw no need to treat her as a daughter or even treat her as a human being, and from that day forward she was never again treated with any type of sympathy, love, understanding or any emotion that parents were expected to giver their children. Victoria would clean house before leaving for classes in the morning and upon her return she would start all over again. She prepared every meal that Jonathan ate at the exact time that he came home everything was ready, no matter how early or how late he was. After the meal she began cleaning again.
She was virtually a slave who waited on both Jonathan and Tess for what ever they wanted or needed at whatever time they wanted it. Then if Jonathan did not pass out from alcohol or drugs, his actions to her would be so unspeakable that not even the worst criminal in the Tennessee State Penitentiary would attempt the acts that he did to her almost every night. Some nights weren’t so bad as compared to others. The worst night came when something was not done to Jonathan’s liking, a spot on a dish could be all that it would take to set Jonathan off.
Victoria had no choice but to submit to Jonathan’s abuse. She promised herself that one-day one of them would die… Until that day came she would continue to work as hard as she could in her classes so that she could one day support herself and never again depend on anyone for anything. Between their thirteenth and fifteenth birthdays the girls had three broken arms a fractured rib, and innumerable bruises, black eyes and bloody noses. Katherine and Annabelle would have no idea except the glimpses that they had of Victoria's life, but they could not tell their parents or the doctors about the visions/dreams for fear that they would be labeled as insane, mad and a list of other adjectives that all teenagers fear.
Victoria knew the reasons for all of the injuries. Even though she did not know that the others were suffering as she suffered with no explanation, in fact she just thought that the glimpses into their lives was just a part of a fantasy world that she had created in order to escape from the real world around her. Her “father” came home drunk so often and she began to fight him with more ferocity that the beatings and molesting, and even full-blown rape became worse than ever. Only while she slept could she escape into a peaceful world full of love and away from Jonathan’s cold and callused hands.
Victoria never had friends as Katherine and Annabelle. Although she was a nice girl and never bothered any one and she was definitely not overlooked; for her beauty could be described only as breath taking. The morning sun flowing gently on a spring day were the only words that describe her hair and her complexion that of the setting sun burning gold across the blue sky. No one ever asked her to join them at study hall tables, or lunch tables. She was never asked to parties or out on dates.
She attributed this to her uneasiness around people… So she concentrated solely on graduating and leaving home. To Victoria, having friends meant relying on someone other than herself so why bother with them anyway… Until the spring of her junior year…
Chapter Six
“I don’t want to hurt you. I just want you…” Dean R.Koontz
Annabelle screamed in her sleep. Moments later both of her parents were by her side, unable to wake their raving daughter from a screaming trance. They tried albeit unsuccessfully, to calm her down. Repeatedly she yelled in a strange voice…
“Please… Don’t…!!! No you’re hurting me… Please STOP!!!”
Thousands of miles away Katherine screamed into the night waking her mother. She cried only two words into the darkness… “Victoria… Don’t…” Katherine then became fixed in a trance like state. Minutes flashed by and her mother could do nothing to wake her, nor could her father who arrived just a few moments later. Profusely she sweated as if in fear and thrashed about as if someone was attacking her.
While Katherine and Annabelle were in trances and scaring their parents to death… Victoria was out with someone that she had met while shopping at the mall…*
She was not sure if she should go out with him, but she needed to get away from Jonathan for as long as she could. Michael seemed like a nice guy and he willingly spoke with Victoria on his own… For that she was secretly grateful; yet there was something about him that she feared. They went to a movie and Victoria somehow sensed that he had to restrain himself from the same things that Jonathan often did to her. How she knew this and if it was really true about Michael she did not know.
After the movie, they got in his red Camaro. She asked him several times where they were going, but he just smiled and said A “special place, a real special place…” Victoria did not like the sound of that. She knew that he was talking about a place that she had overheard the other girls talking about. The ever-famous “Lover’s Lane.” Twenty minutes later they were parked on a lonely stretch of dirt road near the lake. A full moon and bright shining stars lighted the sky. The moon’s reflection bounced off of the lake in a beautiful and in the right circumstances even romantic way.
Michael made her feel uncomfortable. He turned on the radio and a slow song played that she had never heard before began to play. He leaned closer to her and brushed back the hair from her face… He could tell that she was nervous. “Let's go for a walk,” he whispered softly into her ear and got out of the car.
Victoria thought that maybe the walk would cool him off and if not she could make a run for it. They strolled past the picnic tables and went closer to the beach on the other side of the lake. the crickets chirped as the moon’s reflection rippled across the water. Victoria liked being out here, but not with Michael.
She felt that he had different ideas, other than a leisurely stroll along the beach…Ideas that continued to remind her of that man that had nearly destroyed her. “Want to go for a swim?” He asked as he began to take off his own clothes. “No I’ll just watch you.” Victoria didn’t care for swimming to much after her last birthday swim at the age of 13, three years ago. Besides she didn’t have a swimming suit. Then again neither did Michael, but he didn’t seem to care one way or the other… After swimming a few laps and floating around on his back he came back to shore where Victoria had settled down in the sand.
“Water feels great, until you get out anyway.” Michael was trying to start a conversation to make her feel more at ease. While at the same time he was putting his arms around her. Victoria was definitely not ready for what she knew was coming. Victoria began to slowly move away, hoping that he would not do something that they would both regret… “Please don’t go…” He begged her and then madly grabbed her arm when she tried to stand up. He leaned over her forcing her to sink deeper into the scratchy dry sand… “Michael, please let me go…” Victoria pleaded with him, but she could tell now that he was just like Jonathan and next to nothing would stop him… “Why should I? I know what kind of girl you are…” As he continued to tell her of what he had been told by Jonathan’s friend Dave, he began to massage her neck. Then his hands moved across her body. This was not her idea of a good time. When he finished talking he violently kissed her as if she would die without him…
Something hit him on the back of the head.
He turned over onto his back, releasing her arms, but he saw no one, only the shadows cast by the moon’s limited light. As he called out “Who’s there?” Victoria quietly jumped up and ran for the trees. Hoping to lose her aggressor in the night, which had suddenly been filled with utter darkness, but before she could reach the woods she tripped over a large stone at the edge of the beach and in seconds he was upon her…
She continued to scream, but there was no one there to hear her pleas for help. Another pebble hit Michael in the back of the head, this one only slightly larger than the first. This time he did not let go of her as looked around to see who was throwing stones at him, leaving her no choice… Moments later Michael was lying on his back. Victoria was standing beside him, staring down at the blood that poured from his left temple onto his crisp brown hair. Victoria did not know if he was just unconscious or dead… She only knew that she was frightened.
Out in California Annabelle had become very quiet after her outbreak of hysterics. Her parents had finally managed to wake her up. All she would say was that she remembered nothing and wanted to go back to sleep…
In Maine Katherine woke up with a start. She told her parents that she couldn’t remember anything that they told her of the screaming or what had possibly caused the fit. That it must have been a nightmare and now all she wanted to do was sleep.
In Tennessee, while Katherine and Annabelle were returning to sleep, Victoria was forcing herself into unconsciousness. Not knowing how she had done what she had done or how she was inducing herself to sleep. She knew that no one would believe what had happened and she could think of no way to explain any of it. She decided that if she were asleep then no one could bother her… In her “Fantasy World” they could not intrude and ask the questions that she knew would come…
Chapter Seven
The next day someone found Michael’s car and called the police. Thirty minutes after a patrol car arrived they found Michael and Victoria on the edge of the beach. Victoria was unconscious, but alive, and Michael was dead. The police could tell immediately that someone had hit Michael on the head with the huge rock the laid next to him on the sandy ground. Although there was a large amount of blood that had drained from his wound, but it looked as if he had died instantly from the blow inflicted upon him. Either way he was dead and the girl was not. Maybe she would be able to explain what had happened. They rushed her to the hospital in hopes that she would soon be revived.
Katherine and Annabelle would not wake up no matter what their parents or the doctors tried. Two days after being placed in the hospitals they awoke from their deep slumber…
The police then questioned Victoria as much as the doctors would allow. She commented that the only thing she could remember was playing chase with Michael. She said that she vaguely recalled slipping, then everything went black. She tried to find out from the officers what had happened to Michael, but she already knew…
Chapter Eight
Journal April 13
The prom is about a month away now. I thought Glenn might ask me. A few times he has talked to me and we are very much the same, neither one of us talks to many people. I really like him, even though in my mind I don’t want to feel for him the way that my heart does. I don’t really want to be near any one, but I guess that at some time everyone needs someone to feel close to and loved by…
I don’t know why I continue to think that he might ask me to the prom. I’m sure he will ask Suzanne. So many months that I’ve longed for him, from the first day that he moved here and started classes at Central High I’ve only thought about him. Perhaps I could learn to love and trust him, even though I swore to myself that no one would ever receive my trust… I’m tired of staying here. I’m always fighting with Jonathan and Tess… Never doing anything right… Yet something inside of me is happy. I cannot place it. I love this feeling, yet I hate it. It is not my own emotions and I don’t know where it comes from. If only I could go to it… Alas, I know not where it comes from and through time the darkness grows and begins to overwhelm these slight feelings of happiness. I have lived so long in the darkness that not even the memories of the warm glow of contentment will be enough to keep me from totally enveloping the darkness…
Dear Dee Diary, Today is April 13.
I knew that it would happen! I mean why shouldn’t it! I know I’m babbling, but of course you know about that. Thomas asked if could escort me to the senior prom. I feel so good… It’s great hearing the words and not just assuming that he was going to take me! I feel like I'm on some kind of cloud! This is going to be the best time of my life. I know it, it just has to be…
However, I have this odd feeling in the pit of my stomach that something is missing and I can’t place it. In the past everything has been so great, but there has always been something missing. I think that the dreams may have something to do with these odd feelings. Like a part of me that is missing, a part that I never had but nonetheless I know that it is missing… I just wish that I could figure it out before the prom gets here so that it doesn't bring me down like it often does. I want to feel as good as I did when Thomas asked me to go to the prom…
Life’s Log April 13
Luke and I are going to the prom together (as if that was a big surprise to anyone, since we’ve been dating since eighth grade). I can’t believe it’s almost here; mom’s having her designer friend design my dress so that no one else will have one like it. It will be a complete original. It’s going to be a total blast! I know that everything is going to turn out all right… Or at least I hope that it does… I have this strange feeling that something is going to go drastically wrong… I’m being ridiculous. Nothing could possibly go wrong this my senior prom we're talking about.
Chapter Nine
“Hey Annabelle. What’s up?”
Annabelle’s friend Macon asked over the blaring music. “Nothing. Where’s your date?”
“Over at the punch bowl. How about yours?”
“Mine too.”
Annabelle replied with contempt.
“You’d think that they came for the punch instead of us!” Macon replied. “They go drink and leave us standing here like knots on logs.” Macon was getting madder and madder as the night wore slowly on.
Later that night Luke finally came over to Annabelle with another girl on his arm…”Sorry Annabelle… Looks like you’ll have to go to the after prom party with Macon and Don. Me and Cheryl are going out.” As these last words escaped his lips he and Cheryl turned and left. Which was good because Annabelle probably would have caused a really big scene in front of the entire Senior and Junior classes.
She wanted to cry, but she vowed that she wouldn’t. Well at least not until she got home. She was hurting deep inside, but she went to the party with Macon and Don anyway. She didn’t care for staying at the prom with all of these people around and Macon knew this, so she talked Don into leaving early.
***
Katherine could barely hear over the loud music which started again after the King and Queen announcements were complete. She and Thomas stood in the buffet line waiting to reach the food. The night wore on and the music blared. They talked and danced the night away… But something didn’t feel right… She should have been having a great time but the fact remained that something had her ill at ease. Relentlessly she kept up her appearance and no one could tell that something was troubling her. Or if they could tell no one mentioned, and that was good, because she would not have been able to give them an answer as to why she felt so bad…
Journal May 12
I knew that Glenn would not ask me! Not that it matters. I don’t see what the big deal is about a stupid prom anyway. And I don’t care about any of it anymore!
I’ll just let the darkness take over and destroy me. I’ll be able to know what the light feels like without searching this plane of existence for it…
Chapter Ten
Released
I see the blood as the skin is cut…
&nbs
p; The blood rushes and pulses…
The life runs out of me as I see
The last trickle of blood…
The darkness has ceased and I am
Embraced by the light…
Only with the trickling of the blood
Can I be released from the Darkness
That has held me for so long.
Sorcha Bloduewedd
“… Knew it was madness, suicide… but it was also a beginning!” Ray Bradbury
As the knife sank into her flesh the blood surfaced…. The skinned burned and her eyes watered… She sat alone on the bottom step and watched the blood begin to fall… With each breath she took, her heart beat again, the blood pulsed and the skin vibrated… Quietly the darkness engulfed her…
At the party Annabelle began to feel light headed… She asked Macon for a glass of water. By the time Macon returned Annabelle was unconscious…
The prom had slowed down. Thomas and Katherine were slow dancing to “Drift off to Dream” by Travis Tritt. Suddenly Thomas felt something begin to ooze down his back were Katherine’s arms rested. he slowly raised his arms to hers and unlocked them from around his neck. He brought her arms down in front of him and even in the dimly lit ball room he could see the blood pouring from her wrists…
“My God Katherine you're bleeding!” Thomas yelled and the room became silently as her blood dripped onto the floor and everyone saw the pool of blood on the floor and on Thomas’s back.