Chapter 11 – The ups and downs of relationships
Tom woke up late on Boxing Day. He looked out the window to see the sun already high in the sky. Many new footprints were visible after the nights snow fall and icicles had appeared over the edges of the drain pipes. Despite waking up late, he still felt tired so he had a cold shower to wake him up. The water made his body shiver but it certainly did the job. Realising that he had missed breakfast, he contemplated going down to the kitchens but, as he came out of the bathroom, he noticed a tray on his desk containing a full English fry up and a note from Bonky. ‘Noticed you missed breakfast for the first time this year. Thought you might be ill so I had this delivered for you. Enjoy.’
Tom smiled to himself and took the food to his desk. As he tucked into his meal, he reached over for his phone to play some music. But then it dawned on him. He’d forgotten to look at his text messages and therefore never replied. He looked at the screen to see 4 unread messages and 3 missed calls from Hermione. What’s happened now!?
Message 1, ‘thanks for the dress, it’s beautiful. It’s so nice to get something other than a book. How did you know my size? Have you opened your present from me yet?’ Message 2, ‘How’s Christmas at Hogwash? Ours is a bit depressing because Ron’s dad is in hospital. We saw him earlier today but somehow being in a hospital doesn’t seem right at Christmas.’ Message 3, ‘Harry has gone off on one of his tantrums. I’m really starting to worry about him. I just wish he didn’t take it out on me.’ Message 4, ‘Why aren’t you replying? Is something wrong? Has something happened?’
Tom was glad to hear she didn’t sound annoyed at him. Concerned, more than anything else. He called her up but she didn’t answer so he left a message. “Sorry I didn’t reply yesterday. I had a lot of stuff going on. Christmas at Hogwash was great, I was really surprised since there aren’t many people here but it was very eventful. I’m sorry to hear yours wasn’t so good. I hope Ron’s dad gets better soon and I hope Harry treats you better in the future. I’ll sort him out if he doesn’t… I’m joking. But seriously though, tell me if something happens. I’m glad you like the dress and to be honest, it was a lucky guess I got your size. Also thank you for the headphones. See you soon.” There. That should cover everything without me sounding like an idiot.
He finished his breakfast then set about trying to solve the other relationship he’d fractured yesterday. He managed to find Clara in the library of all places. He’d never been in there before but he knew she spent time there so thought it was worth a look. He located her at the end of a row marked poisons. “Not thinking of poisoning me I hope?” he said jokily as he reached her. She jumped at his voice and looked up.
“Oh, it’s you. No, don’t worry. I’m just doing some potions homework.” She turned her attention back to her book.
“Listen. Clara, I hated how I left things yesterday. Can we talk?”
She took a few seconds to look back at Tom. “Ok, but not here. The librarian will be on us in a flash if we don’t stop talking.” Just as she predicted, the librarian appeared only three seconds later. Clara quickly packed up her things and they left
Once outside the library, Tom said, “Where do you want to go?”
“Shall we go back to my room again? I can guarantee we won’t be disturbed.”
“But I’m not allowed in. I’m not in Hufflesnuff.”
“Come off it. You really think students don’t go into each other’s houses? If a Hufflesnuff opens the door like I showed you, it stays open for a few seconds. Enough time for anyone to enter.”
Tom couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing. It made sense. Getting into Ravensnore tower only required correctly answering a question. Anyone could do it! He’d never stopped and thought about it before, having just assumed that there was some magic in place to stop someone trying to get into the wrong house. Clara laughed at his face as he came to the realization that she was right.
Back inside Clara’s bedroom, Tom spoke first. “First off, I’m really sorry about leaving you in the way I did. It wasn’t fair to you but I had a prior engagement that I was already running late for.”
“Isabelle said you often left her without an explanation as to why.”
Dangerous territory! Think fast. Nothing came to him so he just acted like she hadn’t said anything. “You must understand, I’m with Amber now. I do really like you but just as a friend,” he said uncomfortably.
“I’m an idiot,” she said.
“Know you’re not. To tell you the truth, I did fancy you at the beginning of the year, before I dated Isabelle. If I’d have asked you out then, things might have been different but they are what they are.”
Tom had hoped this would improve her mood but it had the opposite effect. She looked on the verge of tears again. Tom took hold of her and whispered in her ear, “Any guy would be lucky to have you.”
“But I want you.”
“You can have me, but just as a friend. I care about you a lot.”
“I feel so stupid for kissing you now.”
“Don’t be. You were really upset about your brother. It’s only natural that you sought comfort.”
She wiped her face, looked right into Tom’s eyes and said, “Thank you, you’re a good friend. But it’s hard.”
Tom didn’t know why he said what he was about to say. All he knew is that, in the moment, it felt like the right thing to do. “Tell you what, to show you how much you mean to me, I’m going to tell you something I haven’t told anyone else.”
“What’s that?”
“The real reason I transferred to Hogwash this year.” She leaned in, looking excited. “The reason I came was because I moved in with my uncle in London and the reason I,” he paused. “This is hard.” Tom’s voice had started to wobble.
Clara took his arm and said, “It’s ok. I’m here for you.”
Tom thought it odd that Clara and he had suddenly flipped roles, now she was comforting him. He continued, “The reason I moved in with my uncle was that, over the summer, my parents died.”
Clara let out a gasp, then held his arm even tighter. “Oh, I’m so sorry Tom,” she said sympathetically.
Tom decided that now he’d started, he might as well let it all out. He hadn’t talked about his parents to anyone since the brief meeting with Horace Snailshell back in the Runny Cauldron, but this time he was more comfortable being with Clara and began. He started to pace the floor as he told her how they had died and what had happened, and how the funeral was and how he was feeling. He surprised himself in some of the emotions he displayed. He’d thought he coped well with keeping this information bottled up but he was proving to himself how wrong he was.
He started to cry. He didn’t even bother trying to hide it from Clara. She got him to sit down next to her on the bed and comforted him. It felt nice. For a long time they said nothing. Then, once Tom had got control of himself again, he said, “Thank you for listening.”
She whispered “You did the same for me.” They both smiled.
“I think I’m going to go. I want some time alone.”
“I understand.”
She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. Tom then got up and left. What he really needed was some peace and quiet to be alone with his thoughts.
With that in mind, he fetched his coat from his room and went for a long walk in the grounds. The tranquillity was soothing for his head and allowed him to think clearly. After a few hours, he’d come to two massive conclusions. One, he had finally managed to do what he’d been afraid to do since his parents had died. Let go. There was nothing he could do about their deaths but there legacy still lives on inside him and he would make them proud. And two, girls are more effort than they’re worth.