CHAPTER SIXTEEN.
THE EXAMINATION.
Four o'clock on the morning of Examination Monday. The clock on thewall chimed the hour, and Rhoda awoke with a start, and sat up wearilyin bed. The pale, grey light already filled the room, and the birdsclamoured tumultuously in the trees outside. Three hours before thegong rang--the last, the very last chance of preparing for the fray!
She slipped noiselessly out of bed, sponged her face with cold water,seized the eau-de-Cologne in one hand and a pile of books in the other,and settled herself against a background of cushions. There was silencein the room, broken only by fitful cries from Dorothy, who was given todiscoursing in her sleep, and more than once in the course of the firsthalf-hour Rhoda's own eyes glazed over, and the lids fell. Nature waspleading for her rights, but each lapse was sternly overcome, andpresently nerves and brain were fully awake, and battling with theirtask. She learned by heart passages marked as likely to be useful,searched to and fro for answers still unknown, and worked out imaginarycalculations. One thing was no sooner begun than she recalled anotherwhich needed attention, and so on it went from arithmetic toShakespeare, from Shakespeare to history, from history to Latin, backand forward, back and forward, until her head was in a whirl.
The clock struck six, the girl in the next cubicle murmured sleepily,"Such a noise! Something rustling!" and Rhoda held her breath indismay. Her haste in turning over the leaves had nearly brought aboutdiscovery, but henceforth she moved with caution, turning from place toplace with wary fingers. Her back ached despite the supportingcushions, and her head swam, but she struggled on until at last the rollof the gong sounded through the house, and the girls awoke with yawnsand groans of remembrance.
"Black Monday! Oh! Oh! I wish I'd never been born!"
"Misery me, and I was having such a lovely dream, all about holidays andpicnics, and walks on the sands--"
"I've had the most awful night, doing sums all the time, with theExaminer looking over my shoulder. My head is like a jelly!"
Then Tom's voice arose in derisive accents. Happy Tom! who was wellthrough her June Matric, and could afford to chaff the poor victims.
"Would any young lady like to explain to me how to find the resultant ofa system of parallel forces?"
"Tom, you are brutal! Be quiet this moment, or we'll come and makeyou--"
"Ha! Ha! Ha! Rhoda, love, just give me the Substance of KingRichard's speech to Northumberland, when the latter announced that hewas to be removed to Pomfret!"
Rhoda began to reply, but stopped abruptly, for on rising from bed shewas attacked by a strange giddiness, and lay back against the pillowstrembling with cold and nausea. Her hands shook as she uncorked theeau-de-Cologne, and the scent, so far from being reviving, made hershudder afresh. She dressed with difficulty, sitting down at frequentintervals, and growing colder and colder with each exertion, so thatwhen she emerged from her cubicle her pallid face roused Tom's instantattention.
"Rhoda, you are ill!" she cried, her chaffing manner changing at once,as she realised the seriousness of the occasion. "What's the matter?Didn't you sleep? Let me feel your hand--. Goodness, what a frog! Youhad better lie down, and let me send for nurse."
"No, thank you, Tom, _please_! It's only excitement. I shall be betterafter breakfast. Please, please, don't make a fuss!"
"Humph!" said Tom shortly, "just as you like. If you feel yourselfgoing, stoop down and pretend to fasten your shoe, and give a scrub toyour cheeks before passing Miss Bruce. She'll spot you in a moment ifyou go in with a face like that."
Thus adjured, Rhoda "scrubbed her cheeks" all the way downstairs, andlooked so rosy as she passed the Principal that the good lady felt muchrelieved. She had had some anxious thoughts about Rhoda Chester oflate, and was only too glad to feel that her anxiety had been needless;but, alas! three times over during breakfast did Rhoda stoop down tobutton her shoe, and in vain did her companions press food upon her. Asumptuous breakfast had been served in honour of the occasion, but hamand eggs seemed just the last things in the world that she wanted toeat, while the sight of fried fish took away the last remnant ofappetite. She drank her tea, trying to laugh with the rest, and to takeno notice of the swaying movement with which the walls whirled roundfrom time to time, or of the extraordinary distance from which thegirls' voices sounded in her ears.
"She's game! She's real game!" said Tom to herself, watching the setface with her sharp little eyes, "but she's uncommon bad all the same.I'll put Evie on her track!" So Miss Everett's attention was dulycalled to the condition of her pupil, and Rhoda was dosed with sal-volatile, and provided with smelling salts to keep in her pocket. Not aword of reproach was spoken, and Evie indeed appeared to treat theindisposition as quite an orthodox thing under the circumstances. Soaffectionate was she, so kind and cheery, and so thoughtful were thegirls in giving up the best seats in omnibus and train, and in offeringsupporting arms along platforms, that Rhoda felt inclined to cry withmingled gratitude and remorse.
When the hall was reached in which the examination was to be held, shehad yet another dose of sal-volatile as a preparation for the ordeal ofthe arithmetical paper, and then, gathering up pens and pencils, marchedslowly into the dreaded room. It was shaped like an amphitheatre, witha railed-in platform at one side, and sloping seats descending allround.
"It's like the operating theatre at a hospital! Oh my! and don't I feelas if I were going to be cut up too!" groaned Dorothy, as she filedalong in front of a seat, looking for her place. At a distance of everytwo or three yards the desks were marked with a number, in front ofwhich was a supply of blotting and writing paper. Some of thecandidates made out their own number at once, others went roaminghelplessly about, and Rhoda found herself perched in the furthestcorner, far from her companions. She looked across and receivedDorothy's smiling nod, but Kathleen's face was set in stern anxiety, andthe others were too busy arranging papers to remember her existence.The Examiner, in cap and gown, stood on the platform, talking to thelady secretary of the Centre. She made a remark, and he smiled, andsaid something in reply at which they both laughed audibly. It shockedRhoda in much the same way as it would have done to hear a chief mournerlaugh at a funeral. Such levity was most unseemly, yet on the otherhand the pictures on the walls were surely unnecessarily depressing!They were oil-coloured portraits of departed worthies, at that gloomystage of decay when frame, figure, and background have acquired the samedirty hue, and the paint has cracked in a hundred broken lines. One oldgentleman--the ugliest of all--faced Rhoda as she sat, and stared at herwith a mocking gaze, which seemed to say:
"You think you are going to pass in arithmetic, do you? Wait until yousee the paper! _You'll_ be surprised--!"
It was a relief to turn to the paper itself and know the worst, whichseemed very bad indeed. She glanced from question to question, feelingdespair deepen at the sight of such phrases as--"Simplify theexpression"; "debenture stock at 140 1/8"; "at what rate per cent.?"etcetera, etcetera. In the present condition of mind and body it was aneffort to recall the multiplication table, not to speak of difficult andelaborate calculations. Poor Rhoda! She dipped her pen into the ink,and wrote the headline to her paper, hesitated for a moment, added"Question A," and then it seemed as if she could do no more. Thefigures danced before her eyes, her knees shook, her hands were sopetrified with cold that she clasped them together to restore somefeeling of warmth, and the faintness of an hour ago seemed creeping ononce more. She leant her elbows on the desk, bowed her hands in herhead, and remained motionless for ten minutes on end. The other girlswould think that she was studying the paper, and deciding what questionshe could best answer; but in reality she was fighting the hardestbattle of her life, a battle between the Flesh, which said, "Give in;say you are too ill! Think what bliss it would be to lie down and havenothing to do!" and the Will, which declared, "No, never! I must andshall go on. Brain! Hands! Eyes! you are my servants. I will not_let_ you fail!" In the
end Will conquered, and Rhoda raised her face,pale to the lips, but with determination written on every feature.
The girl next to herself had covered half the sheet with figures, andwas ruling two neat little lines, which showed that Question A wassatisfactorily settled. All over the room the girls were scribblingaway, alert and busy; there was plainly no time to be wasted, and Rhodabegan slowly to puzzle out the easiest problem. The answer seemedinappropriate; she tried again, with a different result; a third time,with a third result; then the firm lips set, and she began doggedly thefourth time over. To her relief this answer was the same as number two,so it was copied out without delay, and the next puzzle begun, and thenext, and the next.
Oh, the weariness of those two hours, the struggle against weakness, themoments of despair when memory refused to work, and simplest factsevaded her grasp! Nobody ever knew all that it meant, and as she hadthe presence of mind to tear up her blotting-paper, no examining eyeswere shocked by the sight of the expedients to which a senior candidatehad been reduced in order to discover the total of six multiplied bysix, or eight plus eleven. There were other moments, however, when thebrain cleared and allowed a space for intelligent work. More faintnesscame on again, and at the end she could announce to her companions thatshe had answered nine out of the twelve questions.
"What did you get for the square root?" enquired Kathleen anxiously."Irene's answer was different from mine; but I _did_ think I was right.I went over it twice!"
The girls were all surging together in the ante-room, comparing answers,and referring eagerly to Irene, who read aloud her own list with a self-satisfied air. Those whose numbers agreed with hers announced the factwith whoops of joy, those who had differed knitted their brows and weresilent. Kathleen looked worried and anxious, and could not think whatshe had been about to get "that decimal wrong."
"But it was horrible, wasn't it? The worst we have had."
"The wall-paper was vile," cried another voice indignantly. "_Toujours_wall-paper! They might have a little originality, and think ofsomething else. I longed to give Tom's answer!"
"It wasn't really difficult, but tricky! Decidedly tricky!" said Irene,with an air. She could afford to be superior, for there was no doubtthat she had passed! and passed well. "The square root was absurdlyeasy." Then her eye fell on Rhoda, and she asked, kindly enough, "Whatdid you make it, Rhoda? I hope you got on all right, and feel better."
"Thanks, yes; but I didn't put down my answers. I really can't rememberwhat they were."
"And a good thing too! You have done your best, so don't worry over itany more, but come along to lunch!" cried Miss Everett, cheerily; andthe girls obeyed with willing haste, for it was one of the "treats" ofexamination time to lunch in a restaurant, and be allowed to order whatone chose.
Rhoda was so much revived by the walk and the joy of knowing the ordealover that she was able to eat a morsel of chicken, but the fascinationsof jam puffs had departed for the time being, and she could even lookunmoved at the spectacle of a dozen strawberry ices in a row.
"If every candidate indulges in an ice a day, state accurately thenumber of bushels of fruit--" began Dorothy, with her mouth full ofVanilla biscuit, but she was promptly elbowed into silence; no one beingin the mood for further calculations just then.
For the next four days the examination dragged its weary course, andRhoda was carefully nursed and coddled so as to be able to stand thestrain. She was sent to bed immediately on her return from the train;was not allowed to rise until eight o'clock; was dosed with nurse's pettonic, and with Bovril and sandwiches between the papers, and for onceshe was sufficiently conscious of past errors to acknowledge that Naturecould not be defied, and to attempt no more four o'clock preparationclasses. On the whole she got through fairly well, growing strongereach day, and even feeling occasional bursts of exultation at theconclusion of a paper which might have been written especially for herbenefit. What rapture to be questioned about those very rules in Frenchgrammar which one had rubbed up the week before; to have pet passagesselected from Shakespeare, and find the Latin prose for translationbecome gradually intelligible, as one telling substantive gave the clueto the whole! Once assured of the meaning, it was easy to pick out thewords, skimming lightly over difficult phrases, but making a great showof accuracy when opportunity arose. As to the elegance of thetranslation from English into Latin the less said the better, but evenwith a realisation of its shortcomings, Rhoda was hopeful of the result.
"They will say, `She doesn't know much, poor thing, but she has workedhard, and deserves to pass. Her grammar is good, and she has masteredthe books. Oh, yes; certainly she has enough marks to pass.'"
"I think I have done fairly well in Latin," she told Miss Mott on herreturn, and that severe lady actually smiled, and said graciously:
"I hope you have. You have certainly worked with a will."
Miss Bruce, however, was not nearly so encouraging, and her lastinterview with her pupil was somewhat in the nature of a cold douche.
"Now that the week is over, Rhoda," she said, "I must tell you that Ihave felt a good deal of anxiety on your account, which I would notwillingly have repeated. There is a strain about examinations whichsome girls feel more than others. The head of your house, for instance,Thomasina Bolderston, is a capital subject, and seems able to hit thehappy medium between working hard and over-working; but you appear tosuffer physically from the strain. I thought you seemed ill even beforethe breakdown on Monday, and I fear your parents will be far fromsatisfied with your looks. In the case of a girl who is preparing toearn her livelihood, and to whom certificates are all-important, onemust take all reasonable precautions and then face the risk; but withyou it is different. You are the only daughter of wealthy parents, andas, in all probability, you will never need to work for yourself, itwould be wiser to content yourself with taking the ordinary schoolcourse and leaving examinations alone. I shall feel it my duty toacquaint your mother with my opinions, and to advise--"
Rhoda gave a gasp of dismay, and stared at her with horrified eyes.
"You will forbid me to go in for any more exams.! You won't allow me totry again?"
The Principal smiled slightly.
"That is, perhaps, over-stating the case. The final decision must, ofcourse, rest with your parents. If, in opposition to my advice, theyshould still desire--"
But Rhoda heard no more. The idea that her father and mother shouldwish her to go in for any work which interfered with health was soimpossible to conceive that it might as well be dismissed at once. Withone fell crash her castle in the air had fallen to the ground and lay inruins at her feet. If she had not done well this time, farewell forever to her dreams of distinction, for no other opportunity would begranted!
For the first half of the holidays the thought weighed upon her withdepressing force, but gradually, as health improved, the outlooklightened also, and she began to pose to herself in a new light. If shepassed well--and, despite her illness, she looked back on most of thepapers with a feeling of complacency--if she won the scholarship, oreven gained distinction, her reputation among her class-mates would beto a certain extent established, and the fact that the delicate natureof her nervous system debarred her from further efforts would entitleher to a tribute of peculiar sympathy. When other girls succeeded,their companions would shake their heads, and whisper among themselves,"If Rhoda could only--"
"A good thing for her that Rhoda," etcetera, etcetera. In imaginationshe could hear the remarks, and her face unconsciously assumed theexpression of meek endurance with which she would listen. And so moreand more did the result of that week's work fill the horizon of herlife; she thought of it day by day, and dreamt of it by night; shetalked of it to Ella, until even that patient listener wearied of thetheme; she counted the weeks, the days, the hours, until the reportshould arrive. And then one morning, half-way through breakfast, MrChester looked up from his eggs and bacon and remarked casually--as ifit were an ordina
ry, commonplace subject, and not an affair of life anddeath:
"By the way, Rhoda, there is something about your examination in thepaper to-day. I noticed the heading. You may like to see it!"
Rhoda leant back in her chair, and held out her hand in dumb entreaty.The newspaper was open at the right page, and her eye fell at once onthe familiar heading, and, underneath, a long list of numbers.