Asa is standing in front of me, completely dressed now, in dark blue jeans and a crisp, white t-shirt. It makes the tattoos on his arms look brighter--angrier. But his expression isn't angry right now. He looks confused.
And he's actually staring at my face and not my breasts.
"Do you think it's weird that no one really comes over here anymore?" he asks.
His thoughts are becoming more and more unpredictable. I blow out a breath and turn my back to the water, rinsing the conditioner out of my hair. "I'm not sure what you mean, Asa."
When the conditioner is rinsed from my hair, I glance over at him. He's staring down at the tub, at the water circling the drain. "There used to be so many people here, all day every day, all night. Now it's just like four or five people, unless I have a party."
It's because you're unpredictable and you fucking scare people, Asa.
"Maybe they're all just busy?"
His eyes flick up to mine. They're still full of confusion. A little disappointment. I don't know a lot about drugs, or what it's like coming down from them, but paranoia may be a withdrawal symptom. I hope so, because otherwise, I'm not sure what to make of this version of Asa.
"Yeah," he says. "Maybe they're just busy. Or they aren't and they just want me to think they are. Because everyone fucking pretends around here."
His words are harsh, but his voice is calm, still with a hint of confusion. I'm praying he's not referring to Carter when he says everyone pretends. Or referring to me.I need to warn Carter. Something just isn't right with him today. I've never been scared for my life like I was when Asa pulled me back inside the house. I'm tempted to not tell Carter about what happened because I know he'll be upset that I confronted him alone.
"We should invite a few people over for dinner tonight. Will you cook?"
I nod. "For how many people?"
He doesn't even hesitate with the answer he spits out. "Me, you, Jon, Dalton, Kevin and Carter. I want the food ready at seven o'clock. I'll text them now."
He closes the shower curtain.
What the hell is wrong with him?
I blow out a steady breath and grab the washcloth. I'm scrubbing the heels of my feet when he opens the shower curtain again. When I look into his eyes, he's still shockingly looking at my face and nothing else. He opens his mouth, closes it, and then pauses for two seconds before, "Are you mad at me, Sloan?"
Is that a trick question?
I fucking loathe you, Asa.
I gauge his expression and then reply with, "I'm not very happy with you."
He sighs, and then nods like he doesn't blame me. Now I really know something is wrong with him. "I shouldn't have lied to you about your brother's benefits. Sometimes I think I could treat you better than I do."
I swallow the lump in my throat. "Then why don't you?"
His eyes narrow with a slight tilt of his head, like he's actually contemplating my question. "I don't know how."
He closes the shower curtain.
The bathroom door slams shut.
My arm clenches my stomach, because I feel like I might puke. Everything he does makes me so nervous to be around him. After that weird conversation, it's increased tenfold.
Thank God he's inviting everyone over tonight, because I really don't want to be alone with him. I need Carter to be here.
I'm about to turn off the water when the bathroom door reopens. Seconds later, the shower curtain opens from the opposite end this time. My hand freezes on the knob when I hear him step inside the shower.
No, no, no. Please don't make me have sex with you again. I breathe in calmly through my nose, hoping he's just waiting for his turn in the shower.
A few seconds pass, but I don't feel him step up behind me. He doesn't say anything. My heart is beating so fast, I get lightheaded.
I straighten up and slowly turn around. His white t-shirt is soaked through and he still has his jeans on. He's leaning against the back wall of the shower, barefoot, staring down at the tub.
I wait a moment to see what he wants. When he fails to move or speak--he just keeps staring at nothing--I finally speak up.
The fear cracks the sound of my voice when I say, "What are you doing, Asa?"
My question breaks him out of his trance. His eyes flick up to mine. He stares for approximately five painstakingly long seconds, and then he looks around the shower and back down at his clothes. He runs his hands over them like he has no idea why they're wet. He shakes his head and says, "I don't fucking know."
My knees grow weak at his reaction. I don't even turn off the water. I step out of the shower as fast as I can and grab a towel. I don't even bother getting dressed before swinging open the door to run to the bedroom. I just need to stay as far away from him as I can until Carter gets here and I know I'll be a little safer.
As soon as I step out into the hallway, something to my right catches my eye. I look over and see Jon about to walk into the bedroom at the end of the hall. His hand is on the door and he's staring at me--his eyes scrolling down my towel-covered body.
When I see the disgusting grin stretch across his face, I walk the three feet to my bedroom door. "Don't even think about it you piece of fucking shit." I slam the bedroom door and lock myself away from every last one of these crazy assholes. I walk to my phone and I text Carter.
Sloan: He's losing his mind. Please show up early.
I delete the text and wait for the sound of the shower to cut off.
It doesn't.
After I'm dressed and about to head to the store, I decide to check on him. I open the bathroom door and he's no longer standing. He's sitting in the tub, still fully clothed, the water beating down on him. His eyes are wide open and the water is running over them.
I grip the doorknob and take a small step back. "I'm going to the grocery store, Asa. What do you want me to cook tonight?"
His head doesn't move, but his eyes scroll across the bathroom and meet mine. "Meatloaf."
I nod. "Okay. You want anything else while I'm there?"
He stares at me for a few seconds and then he smiles. "Get a dessert for the celebration."
Celebration? My throat suddenly becomes itchy and it's hard to swallow. "Okay," I say, my voice weak. "What are we celebrating?"
His eyes leave mine and move straight ahead again. "You'll see."
I have no idea why Asa invited us over for dinner. We've been at his house almost every night lately; tonight shouldn't be any different. I was hoping Sloan was being paranoid in her text when she said he's losing his mind, but I'm a little worried she's spot-on.
I can smell the food before I even open the front door. When I walk inside and look around, Dalton is the only one not here yet. Jon and Asa are taking up both recliners and Kevin is on the couch.
Asa is leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, remote in hand, flipping through news channels. When he hears the door close behind me, he turns around.
I nod my head in his direction and he turns back to the TV. "Do you watch the news, Carter?"
I glance toward the kitchen to see Sloan standing at the bar, wiping it down with a rag. I can see her from where I'm standing, but Asa can't.
"Sometimes," I say.
Sloan cuts her eyes to mine and lifts a finger to her hair. I run my thumb across my bottom lip. She lifts her other hand to her head and twirls three of her fingers in her hair. Then five. Then all ten. Then she's mock-ripping at her hair with both hands, twirling it in all directions, letting me know she's going crazy.
I want to smile at her, but I force myself to walk into the living room and take a seat next to Kevin. "Why'd you want to know if I watch the news?" I ask Asa.
He flips to another channel. "I haven't heard anything about my father. Just making sure he survived and I'm not about to be arrested for murder."
He says it so nonchalant, like the possibility of being arrested for murder is a daily occurrence. I nod, but fail to tell him that his father survived. He wasn't even
hurt that bad, actually. The casino called an ambulance for him, but other than a broken nose and a broken jaw, there isn't any serious damage. The guy didn't even want to press charges. Dalton told me all this after he checked into it today.
He also told me the guy was an addict, he was diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic, and he had a shitload of other issues. I hate to say it, I have a little sympathy for Asa somewhere deep down inside. There's no telling what he went through as a child with that man as a father. But sympathy is as far as it goes. You can sympathize with someone and still wish they were dead.
I keep the information about his father's condition to myself. I think it's good that Asa is worried about repercussions. It's not something he probably experiences very often.
Asa sighs after flipping through all the news channels twice and coming up empty. He stands up and throws the remote toward Jon. "You guys make sure and wash your hands. My fiancee worked hard cooking this dinner and I don't want any of you fuckers seated at my table with filthy hands." He heads to the stairs and runs up to his room. His bedroom door closes, and I glance at Kevin, who is staring at the empty stairs.
"He's being really fucking weird," Kevin says.
Jon begins flipping through the channels and says, "What's new?"
Neither one of them bothers going to the kitchen to wash their hands, so I use the opportunity to walk in there. Sloan is pulling the meatloaf out of the oven when I pass her. "Hey, Sloan," I say casually.
She looks at me, but doesn't smile. She shoots me a look that tells me we need to talk. There's just not really a way to do that right now. I turn the water on and she walks the meatloaf to the counter next to me. She sticks a knife between the loaf and the pan and begins working it loose.
"I messed up today," she whispers.
I turn the water to a lower pressure so I can hear her better.
"I found out he's been lying to me about my brother's benefits. I confronted him. Told him I was leaving him. He got really angry."
"Sloan," I say quietly. Why the hell would she do that? "Are you okay?"
She shrugs. "I am right now. But something is off with him, Carter. I'm scared. He sat in the shower with his clothes on for half an hour. Then when I got home from the grocery store, I looked out the window and saw him sitting on a lounge chair, staring at the pool. Then he just started slapping his palm against his forehead. He did it thirty-six times. I counted."
Jesus Christ.
She glances up at me and I hate how scared she looks. I should just take her now. Grab her hand, pull her outside while he's upstairs, and get her the fuck out of here.
"Now he keeps saying he has a surprise for me. He's talking like this dinner is some kind of celebration," she whispers. "I'm scared to find out what it is we're celebrating."
Asa's footsteps move overhead, like he's about to head downstairs. Sloan grabs the pan of meatloaf and walks it to the table.
The other two guys must hear Asa heading downstairs as well, because they're at the sink now, preparing to wash their hands like he instructed.
We help Sloan carry the rest of the food to the table, just as Dalton walks through the front door. It's only 6:55, but he sees Asa bounding down the stairs and he apologizes for being late.
"You aren't late," Asa says. "You're right on time."
I take a seat, and it ends up being directly across from Asa. Diagonal from Sloan. It's oddly quiet as everyone passes around the food, divvying it onto their plates. Once all the food has been passed around the table, Asa grabs his fork and says, "Should we say grace?"
No one speaks. We all just stare at him, wondering if he's kidding or if someone needs to start praying before he flips his shit.
He laughs loudly and says, "You stupid fucks." He shoves his fork into his mashed potatoes and swallows a bite.
Jon says, "This is twice in a row we've had dinner here. What gives? Is this what happens when you become domesticated?"
Asa narrows his eyes in Jon's direction, then washes his mashed potatoes down with his beer. "Where's Jess tonight?"
Jon shrugs. "Haven't seen her in a few days. I think we broke up."
Asa chuckles, then he looks at me. "Where's Tillie?"
I run my thumb across my bottom lip. "Working. She might stop by tomorrow night."
Asa licks his lips, taking another sip of his beer. "That would be nice," he says. Then he looks at Dalton. "How come you've never brought a girl over?"
Dalton speaks with a mouthful of meatloaf. "She lives in Nashville."
Asa nods and says, "What's her name?"
"Steph. She's a singer. She's why I was almost late, actually. She signed a recording contract today and she called to tell me about it." He looks proud when he talks about her.
It almost makes me laugh, because there is no Steph. He just made all that shit up on the fly, and Asa swallows it down like a warm glass of milk. "That's cool," Asa says.
Asa likes Dalton. I can tell by the way he looks at him--without any suspicion at all. Not like the way he looks at me.
"Something wrong with your fucking mouth, Carter?"
I glance at him and raise my eyebrow.
"You're rubbing your goddamn lip raw."
I didn't even realize I was still rubbing my lip. I pull my hand from my mouth. "All good," I say, taking a bite of the meatloaf. The last thing I want to do is provoke him. Not with the way he's been acting lately.
Asa takes another bite of his meatloaf, and then he rests his hands beside his plate. "So," he says. "I have a little surprise." He smiles, and then looks over at Sloan. I can see the roll of her throat when she swallows.
"What is it?" she asks cautiously.
Asa opens his mouth to speak, but he's cut off by a loud banging on the front door. I can see the irritation in his eyes as he turns to glance at the living room door. A second loud knock occurs.
He drops his silverware with a loud clank onto the table and looks around at all of us. "Any of you expecting company? In the middle of fucking dinner?"
No one speaks up.
He scoots back from the table and slaps his napkin beside his plate. When he turns to walk into the living room, Sloan glances across the table at me. She looks scared, but also relieved that his big surprise was just interrupted. I turn to Dalton and he raises an eyebrow.
We all look at Asa as he peers through the peephole. He stares for several seconds and then presses his forehead to the door. "Fuck." He turns and rushes to the kitchen, grabbing Sloan by the arm and pulling her up out of her chair. He grips her shoulders and says, "Go up to the room and lock the door. Don't open it whatever you do."
I scoot my chair back and stand up. Dalton does the same. We both look at each other and then back at Asa.
"Who's at the door?" Jon asks, pushing his chair back as well. I don't think any of us have ever seen Asa this worried.
Asa glances up the stairs and around the room like he's trying to find a way to escape. "It's the fucking FBI, Jon. It's the fucking goddamn FBI!"
What?
I immediately turn to Dalton, but he shakes his head to let me know he's just as unaware as I am. I also notice his fists clench at his side. "Shit!" he says. To Asa, I'm sure Dalton's reaction is expected. But to me, I know why he's really mad. The FBI are about to walk into this house and ruin the investigation.
More pounding against the door.
Asa pulls his hands through his hair. "Fuck! Fuck!"
I see him glance toward the back door. I can already see him trying to plan an escape route. I step forward to get his attention.
"If they're here to arrest anyone, they already have the house surrounded, Asa. They may just be here for questioning about your father. Just open the door and act normal. We'll all stay seated at the table like we have nothing to hide."
Dalton nods. "He's right, Asa. If we all run, they'll have reason to think you're hiding something."
Asa nods, but Jon shakes his head. "Fuck that. We've got shit all over th
is house. If we open the door, it's over. For all of us."
Asa's eyes are wide as he tries to figure out what to do. We all look at the front door when the banging resumes.
I can see the veins in Dalton's neck, and I know he's fearing that all the work we've put in was basically for nothing. The entire investigation won't mean shit, because it will now be in the hands of someone else.
We've seen this happen a couple of times--an investigation being taken over by a higher-ranking force. But Dalton has put so much into this, it's going to be impossible for him to watch it go up in flames.
"Go to your room, Sloan," Asa orders. "You don't need to be here when I open that door."
Sloan glances at me, concern in her eyes. She wants to know if she should follow Asa's orders--if she should leave the room.
More banging.
I nod softly to let Sloan know she should do what Asa is asking her to do. At least she'll be out of the way of whatever is about to go down.
Asa suddenly strides across the room toward Sloan. He gets in her face. "What the fuck are you looking at him for?" he yells, waving his hand in my direction. "What the fuck are you looking at him for?"
Oh, God. I start to walk around the table, but Dalton grabs my arm. Asa wraps his hand around the back of Sloan's neck and shoves her toward the stairs. "Get the fuck up the stairs!"
She doesn't look back as she runs up the stairs.
Asa is looking at me now. Dalton may not be happy that the FBI showed up, but I'm relieved. Chances are, Asa will be arrested for whatever they're here to confront him for. Which means I might survive tonight, because the look he's giving me right now is telling me otherwise.
He knows. He can tell, based on that one look Sloan gave me, that something is going on between us. But between the banging on the front door and the imminent possibility that he's about to be arrested, he thankfully puts it on the back burner.
He points at all four of us. "Sit the fuck down," he says. "Eat. I'm opening the goddamn door." We all take our seats. Asa rushes to the kitchen and opens a cabinet, reaching to the back of it. He pulls out a gun and slides it inside the back of his pants. As he's passing the table, he says, "If I find out any of you fuckers are responsible for this, you're all dead." Asa turns toward the door, and right before he opens it, he presses his forehead against it like he's saying a quick prayer. When he pulls it open, he smiles. "How can I help you gentlemen?"