hell it does!" Doc said
"Life sucks" Conductor said.
"Deacon opened his mouth to repeat his favorite phrase and the three men shouted, "Shut up!"
They sat in silence staring at Neil weeping over the broken pieces of his wife's instrument.
Top Shelf fitted his sneakers over his curly big toes and walked to Neil's side. "Kid," he rested his hand on Neil's shoulder. "That git-fiddle can't be fixed. What I can do is get you a magic instrument. It's guaranteed to keep you in food and friends wherever you go. I'm first goin' to de-nut those two gorillas that did this to you ."
"I'm bigger than you," Conductor said. "That's my obligatin' duty!" He hurried off into the night calling out railroad stations, "Change at Jamaica for Minneola, Carl Place, Westbury , Hicksville, Pine Aire, Deer Park, Brentwood, Central Islip and Ronkonkoma!"
"Come back here!" Doc shouted
"Sweet Jesus!
"We'll never find him," Top Shelf said. "Doc, you an Deacon take the kid to pier 52. I'm goin' to show that Sharkey what the commode really is."
+++
The August sun arose like a big red fire ball over New York. The light woke Doc, Deacon and Neil at the end of the 52nd street pier. They squinted against the brightness, mumbled incoherently and relieved themselves in the river. No one looked up when Top Shelf rounded the trash pile and sang out his greeting, "Glad to see everyone is bright eyed an bushy tailed this Sunday mornin'."
"Don't shout," Doc said, "We got headaches."
"And I got coffee, garlic bagels with cream cheese." Top Shelf said. He hoisted a large brown paper bag in his arms. "We all got to eat an' be in shape to hear Deacon's sermon.
"Sweet Jesus," Deacon said and held up his hands for a container and bagel.
"I'm hungry!" Neil said.
"At least you're talking!'" Top Shelf said and handed him the food. "Where is Conductor?"
"Don't you remember," Doc said. "He left last night to fix Sharkey and Hoey."
"He'll find them in the commode. I rectumized those big ole fish," Top Shelf laughed. "Sharkey and Hoey are de-shit-i-fied by now."
"Sweet Jesus,"
"How'd you do it?" Doc asked.
"I bought a whole box of Ex-Lax, melted it in two containers of hot chocolate. I let Sharkey and Hoey see me, put the containers down an ran.. Last I saw, they stopped an were tasting the stuff."
"You a great concoter," Doc said.
"Where did you get the money and new clothes? "Neil asked.
"Re-issue at the Salvation Army. Same cut, same style." Top Shelf strutted back and forth showing off the long raincoat and similar clothes to those before, but cleaner." Where did you get the money for this food?" Doc asked.
Doffing his baseball cap and bowing, "Remember how I had that gallon jug hid. Well I had some money hid and I got and this too."
"He held up a slip of paper."
"Sweet, sweet Jesus!"
"That's you pawn ticket." Doc said, "It's your freedom way outa here?"
"Gotta' pay the kid for his broke guitar and send him back to his wife." Top Shelf said.
"Sweet Jesus,The kid is a down an outer, wandering this world of woe.
Dark clouds are gathering, We got to make him go."
"Top Shelf," Doc said, "sure hope you know what you're doin'?"
"I can't go back," Neil said. "I can't go forward. Can't go anywhere,"
"The sound of church bells interrupted the conversation. "That be O'Looney's loud speakers gatherin' the sinners," Top Shelf said. "Come on brothers, time for the ee-cclee-see-ass-tics' to be hom-o-li-zin' and the vic-ar-in to be pree-dic-tar-in'. Deacon goin' ta' converse wit' us constipated ree-cee-da-vists."
"Deacon," Doc asked, "give the sermon on lust? I like to remember how it was."
"Where's that little black bastard?!" Sharkey roared. He appeared around the trash pile dragging Conductor and Sharkey on either side of him
"Which little black bastard you looking for?" Top Shelf asked.
"Sounds like you the one," Sharkey said. "I' can't see so good." He squinted and came closer, "You the one who tricked my man Hoey into shittin his brains out."
"That's a little shit for him" Top Shelf said.
"I gotta go!" Hoey cried and scuttled to the end of the pier where he dropped his pants.
Sharkey pulled his knife and made a wild slash at Top Shelf missing him."
"Stop!" Donkey Ryan shouted and behind Sharkey who quickly put the knife away. "Sharkey," the policeman said, "I don't allow fighting in the House of God on Sundays. Now all of you bums sit there in front of O'Looney's altar."Ryan herded the men to O'Looney's pushcart which he transformed into an altar on wheels. Dressed in a white robe with gold trim and a Bishops cap O'Looney clasped his fingers over his ample stomach and said, "Brother Deacon, please come forward and give today's sermon."
Deacon dragged his box to the front of the altar, stood it on end and stepped into it. "Sweet Jesus! Sweet, sweet Jesus! You are my witness that God made man."
"Yes! Yes! Yes!"Doc said.
"Each marks or stains wherever he stands.
When life appears void and nothing seems planned," Deacon pointed to Neil, "Look to history to understand."
"Amen!" Conductor said.
"God created heaven and He created earth,
The two great lights and the stars he birthed.
The waters he swarmed with the creatures raw."
"That do be Sharkey!" Top Shelf said.
"On land, the animal and man He saw.
God tested man who did lust,
"Now comes the good part," Doc said.
"I'll destroy my work, because of man I must.
Doesn't this appear a great defeat?
To wreck a world he formed complete?
Not long after God flooded down,
He took Noah and showed him around.
The generations that followed him,
Were allowed the freedom to serve or sin." Deacon's voice grew stronger with righteous power and he pointed ay the men seated on the ground before him, "Thou shalt remember the troubles of God!" Deacon came out of his box and stood over Neil,
"Raise your head like a piston rod.
If the Lord thy God could begin again,
Who are you to rut in sin?
Keep God's commandments wither thou go,
And you will find your own rainbow.
The Lord afflicts thee to know thy heart.
Get yourself gone. From here depart!"
Deacon reached back, took his box and sat with the others. O'Looney closed the altar and pushed it off saying, "Next week, same time same place. Good Sabbath my Brothers."
Donkey Ryan's shoulder phone beeped, "Yes, sergeant," he answered, "I'm on my way. Hoey!" he shouted. Get over here over here; I ain't leaving you and Sharkey with these folks." He took both men's elbows and led them off the pier.
"Top Shelf," Conductor asked. "You here?"
"For now, but that Sharkey be out there watin' ta give me a lot a pain.
"Sharkey can't barely see," Conductor said.
"How can you tell what he eyeballs?" Doc asked.
"Cause we drank the same stuff," Conductor said.
"What did you do?" conductor demanded.
Top Shelf moved in front of Conductor and peered into his face, "Can you see me?"
"I can smell your breath," Conductor said "And it brings tears to my eyes."
"Tell us what happened," Top Shelf said.
"He can't see," Neil said.
"Last night," Conductor said, "I stole some money when we were pickin' it off the ground. I’m sorry."
"Sweet Jesus!"
"I let Sharkey and Hoey catch me wit the bottle a wood alcohol I bought. I knew they'd make me share wit' them. Hoey' had the screamin shits so he didn't takemuch. It were me an Sharkey."
"Why did you buy that panther piss again?" Top Shelf asked.
"That's how I got Sharkey. He can't see good either."
"He's a hell a l
ot younger than you," Doc said. "It'll wear off on him."
"We pretty safe now," Conductor said. Hoey got to be near da commode an Sharkey is a little blinded."
"You're a brave man," Neil said.
"Sounds good," Conductor said.. Can't see you. Everything all shadowy like."
Top Shelf looked up at the blazing sun shook his head, "We're safe thanks to you."
"Top Shelf be cashin' in his pawn ticket," Doc said.
"You leavin' us?" Conductor asked.
"I give it to Neil," Top Shelf said. "Then we send him back to his wife."
"That's your dream your given' away!" Conductor said. "and I ain't lettin' you do it! Neil! Neil!" Conductor shouted. "I'm a veteran and your head hurtin' ain't service connected. How did you get took into the Vets Hospital?"
Neil turned away.
"Son," Doc said, "you owe this man." He pointed at Conductor. "He gave his eyes so we could hear the truth."
"Sweet Jesus, Doc's is right, Conductor may never again see the light!" "I found out where the two drunks lived who killed my children" Neil said. "If the district attorney hears what I tell you. I'll go to prison."
""Kid," Top Shelf said, "You stay with us you got a life sentence!"
"That's solitary confinement," Doc said. "You locked inside yourself the whole time."
"I waited outside their house with my pickup truck." Neil said. "I ran them off the road into a creek. I thought they were both dead."
"You gotta' be surer," Conductor said.
"They reported me to the police. The cops knew the whole story and how the judge dismissed the charges against the two because they were legally drunk
"What did the cops do?" Conductor asked.
"They bought a fifth of Jack Daniels, made me drink it, gave me a blood test at the hospital. In court the medical report said I was legally drunk. Case dismissed, license revoked for six months."
"I'll be legally drunk a year after I'm buried," Doc said..
"As long as your drunk," Neil said, "You can't be charged with willfull intent."
"Got to remember to tell God that,"