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I nodded. “I know. ” Behaving was imperative as Logan had told me some of Raul’s top buyers were going to be present. What I didn’t know was who they were buying, and I was terrified it would be me.
He stopped pacing then stalked toward me and grabbed my arm. “Do you? Emily, you have no idea the fuckin’ shit that goes on here. ” He let me go, and I staggered backward until the backs of my knees hit the bed. I sat. “I will do nothing—nothing, if you make a mistake. I will let you go. ”
A shiver ran through me at his words. “I know. ” And I did. What I didn’t know was why he was telling me this. The emotionless cold had been wiped from his face. A part of the man I once knew and loved stood in front of me again. It made my insides coil and spring toward him then spring back as if afraid to feel that assurance.
Logan gave an abrupt nod. “One slip and you’ll disappear. ”
“Are you . . . are you selling me tonight?” Fear escalated through my body when he remained silent. God, what if he was getting rid of me?
He sat beside me and laid his hand on the edge of the bed over top of mine. I inhaled sharply and stiffened while looking at him.
“If I lose the fight . . . ” I knew what that meant, and my body started shaking. “I plan to win. But tonight will push your limits. Don’t think for one second it won’t. ”
The image of the girl flashed before my eyes, her being fucked from behind, Alfonzo laughing and watching. Would he make me do that? Would I be subjected to being fucked in front of a room full of strangers?
“Will you . . . will you give me to others to . . . fuck?”
Oh God, I couldn’t do it. What if another man wanted to touch me? Was that allowed? Would Logan give me to him?
“Look at me. ”
I couldn’t. Suddenly the images became a movie reel, and my mind started thinking up the worst possible scenarios . . . I couldn’t do this. I was going to be auctioned off and never be found again. The collar around my neck started to tighten, choking me, strangling every breath.
Logan placed his hands on either side of my head, the pressure harsh as he forced me to acknowledge him. “Pull yourself together. You have to do this. You have no choice. ”
I shook my head back and forth. I couldn’t be sold. I could handle Logan; I could be here with him, but the fear of the auction sat like a churning rusted chain in my stomach. “I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. Don’t make me go. Don’t make me. ” All his warnings, his rules went through the floor. “Don’t make me. Please. ” Tears streamed down my face, and with the pads of his thumbs he wiped them away.
“Emily. ”
“Please. I’ll stay here. Leave me here. I’ll be good. I’ll kneel. I’ll do whatever you want. Tie me up, blindfold me. Just don’t make me go. ”
His voice was controlled and firm as he said, “I can’t. Raul wants you there, so if I lose . . . ”
He didn’t finish the sentence. I cried for who I’d become, this weak woman. I detested myself for loving a man that was saving me from Raul by keeping me, and I detested myself for hating that same man who was destroying my dignity.
His fingers weaved into my hair. “There’s no other way. ”
“Why? Why me? I loved you. ” My voice rose, “I loved you. ” I sobbed the words, my breaking point crushing the calm, protective wall I’d carefully built around myself.
Logan stormed to his feet, walked to the other side of the room, and punched his fist into the wall. Blood dripped down the back of his hand as he turned back. Then he came straight for me. Terror pushed me to react against what I knew could get me punished and I ran for the door.
My hands curled around the doorknob just as Logan grabbed me by the shoulders and spun me around. He pulled me in hard so I was crushed against his chest. His mouth slammed onto mine, a rumbled groan escaping him as he curled me into him. His kiss was possessive and unbreakable; he was taking what had become his and yet giving me back the part of him I’d once known.
His lips softened as I leaned into him.
Our ragged breathing was the only sound in the room as we stared at one another for minutes.
“Get dressed,” Logan said then spun and strode from the room.
I stiffened. Then I brought in the coldness he’d shown me and became who he needed me to be, because I knew he was the only one who could save me from tonight.
Chapter 9
3 hours later
I’d watched Logan’s fight sitting between Jacob and Dave, Raul a few seats away from me. This wasn’t the typical underground dirty warehouse location. No, Raul had an actual ring and seating. He obviously had been organizing these fights for a while.
Logan defeated his opponent, but it’d been brutal and tough, and I’d been in perpetual anxiety the entire time. I knew if he lost I’d be sold, but it was more than that. A small part of me worried about him. Maybe it was human nature. Maybe love couldn’t be stopped, or maybe I was just thinking irrationally.
I wore his collar, and noticed Raul’s nod of approval when he saw me with Logan. Or was it my state of dress he approved? Or rather lack of dress. I tried not to think about it, but it was hard considering there was nothing beneath it. It dipped so low in the front that my nipples were exposed. When I first put it on, I tore it off again then threw it across the room.
I even went and put on the nightgown and waited beside the bed for Logan to come back and see me not wearing what he put out for me. Then panic set in as I realized that he’d be back any second and I wasn’t dressed.
Tonight wasn’t an option. I had to do this. So, I put on the dress, and my breasts spilled out of the tight material, and I waited for Logan while kneeling on the floor.
When he saw me, it wasn’t like I’d expected. He was angry as his eyes took me in, and then that cold, expressionless face pulled down over him. He never spoke a word to me as he got changed then took me to his fight where I tried to ignore the stares of the men as they panted over my body like animals.
“Emily. ” Logan had changed from his fighting shorts into a pair of black slacks and a white button-down top. He looked different, contained, formal, and I didn’t like it. He grabbed my hand then chin-lifted to Dave who’d stayed with me until Logan came back. “Three days. ”
Dave nodded.
“That last shipment . . . two were dead. ”
“I heard,” Dave said. I didn’t even want to imagine what they were referring to, but I remembered when Logan told Alfonzo not to crate and ship me.
“Something goes wrong . . . ” Logan began.
“Yeah, man. I know. ”
Logan gave an abrupt nod then we left Dave as we made our way back to the main house where Raul was holding the celebration. Not once did he look at me, almost as if he couldn’t—like he was disgusted. I was disgusted in myself, humiliated being emotionally degraded in front of the other men. I was an object to them. That had become my reality.
I wanted to scream and hit and freak out, but stupidity had no place in my life. I had to be harder than them, unaffected and colder. Like Logan.
All my self-control vanished the second the sounds hit me. The moans of pain, the groans of pleasure, the grunting, the crack of the whip, the laughter, and then the sobbing.
I hesitated at the doorway, and Logan’s hand tightened on my arm. “Block it out,” he whispered in a harsh growl. “Keep your eyes closed if you have to. ”
He yanked me forward, and I stumbled further into the room. My chest heaved in and out as I tried to control the panic. There was no escaping this, but I did squeeze my eyes closed until I heard Raul’s voice.
“There he is. ” A chair scraped over the stone tiles. “Sculpt. My prized fighter. ” There was a loud applause. Logan stopped, and despite having my eyes closed I knew Raul was near me from the scent of garlic and cigarettes. “I made a lot of money tonight. That is reason enough for a celebration. You fight better than I expected. ”
/> “I won because my opponent can’t control his temper, and I was fighting for something I wanted—a slave who is a damn good fuck. I now realize why they are in such high demand. ” His voice was strained, and I could feel the tension in his body.
“Ahh, yes. She is your first slave. You’ve done well with her. I wasn’t certain you had it in you, Sculpt. ” I opened my eyes just as Raul put his finger under my chin and forced me to look at him. I swallowed. “She is very beautiful. When you tire of her, I will find a buyer for her who appreciates a woman with—spirit. ”
“That won’t be for a while. ”
Raul laughed as he stared at my breasts. “No, I suspect not. ” He slapped Logan on the back. “Enjoy your evening. I look forward to many more of them as should you. ”
Logan nodded and then led me away to a table in the far corner of the room where four men were sitting. I cringed when I saw there were two girls kneeling beside their owners; both wore collars and were naked. The other man had a male slave standing behind his chair wearing a black leather collar with studs and then a leather bra type thing that had criss-crossed straps and metal rings. When we approached the male slave looked directly at me and smiled. There was nothing in his handsome young face that said he didn’t want to be exactly where he was.
I tried not to look at anyone else, but it’s like when people slow down as they pass an accident on the highway. They have to look, it’s an irresistible reaction, and when I glanced at the girl Logan made me kneel next to, I knew exactly who she was. Well, not her name or anything, but it was the girl who made my dreams into nightmares.
She never moved an inch as I knelt beside her; Logan’s hand was on top of my head as if he was making certain that I didn’t get up and run for my life. Which did cross my mind for two seconds. But Logan was right; fear of the consequences was what would keep me alive here.
“Sculpt. Good fight. ” The deep voice was controlled and sent shivers down my spine, and they weren’t good shivers. “Kai. ” I didn’t look up, but I assumed they were shaking hands. “I have no interest in the fighting circuit, but I was rather impressed by your ability. And I lost a lot of money tonight. ”
Logan began stroking my hair. “Raul mentioned your name in passing. I’m curious, why is it that you’ve travelled all this way for a fight you’re not interested in?”
I tensed when I saw the man’s hand reach down to the girl beside me and grab her by the chin and raise her head. “Her. I was curious when Raul sent me the invitation to the fight. I declined, however. Raul must have known I would, and he is intelligent. He also knew if I refused to come many other of my acquaintances wouldn’t either, so he offered me her. Alfonzo’s latest. ”
I quickly put my head down and covered my mouth with my hand to stop from crying out. I couldn’t even imagine what Alfonzo’s training meant. I didn’t want to, and I was horrified with what the girl must have been through. Without moving my head, I glanced at her dead eyes. Alfonzo must have dug his filthy paws into her soul and ripped it out leaving this girl with nothing but a shell willing to do anything asked of her.