CHAPTER XI.
THE apples and nuts went round again and again, and for a few minutesnothing was heard save the cracking of shells and the gnawing of sharpwhite teeth. At length the parrot said, meditatively:--
"That was a very stupid cow, though! Are all cows as stupid as that?"
"Well, I don't think they are what you would call brilliant, as a rule,"Toto admitted; "but they are generally good, and that is better."
"Hem! possibly!" said Miss Mary, dryly. "That is probably why we have nocows in Central Africa. Our animals being all, without exception, clever_and_ good, there is really no place for creatures of the sort youdescribe."
"How about the bogghun, Miss Mary?" asked the raccoon, slyly, with awink at Toto.
The parrot ruffled up her feathers, and was about to make a sharp reply;but suddenly remembering the raccoon's brave defence of her an hourbefore, she smoothed her plumage again, and replied gently,--
"I confess that I forgot the bogghun, Coon. It is indeed a treacherousand a wicked creature!--a dark blot on the golden roll of Africananimals." She paused and sighed, then added, as if to change thesubject, "But, come! is it too late to have another story? If not, Ihave a short one in mind, which I will tell you, if you wish."
All assented joyfully, and Miss Mary, without more delay, related thestory of
THE THREE REMARKS.
There was once a princess, the most beautiful princess that ever wasseen. Her hair was black and soft as the raven's wing [here the Crowblinked, stood on one leg and plumed himself, evidently highlyflattered by the allusion]; her eyes were like stars dropped in a poolof clear water, and her speech like the first tinkling cascade of thebaby Nile. She was also wise, graceful, and gentle, so that one wouldhave thought she must be the happiest princess in the world.
But, alas! there was one terrible drawback to her happiness. She couldmake only three remarks. No one knew whether it was the fault of hernurse, or a peculiarity born with her; but the sad fact remained, thatno matter what was said to her, she could only reply in one of threephrases. The first was,--
"What is the price of butter?"
The second, "Has your grandmother sold her mangle yet?"
And the third, "With all my heart!"
You may well imagine what a great misfortune this was to a young andlively princess. How could she join in the sports and dances of thenoble youths and maidens of the court? She could not always be silent,neither could she always say, "With all my heart!" though this was herfavorite phrase, and she used it whenever she possibly could; and it wasnot at all pleasant, when some gallant knight asked her whether shewould rather play croquet or Aunt Sally, to be obliged to reply, "Whatis the price of butter?"
On certain occasions, however, the princess actually found her infirmityof service to her. She could always put an end suddenly to anyconversation that did not please her, by interposing with her first orsecond remark; and they were also a very great assistance to her when,as happened nearly every day, she received an offer of marriage.Emperors, kings, princes, dukes, earls, marquises, viscounts, baronets,and many other lofty personages knelt at her feet, and offered her theirhands, hearts, and other possessions of greater or less value. But forall her suitors the princess had but one answer. Fixing her deep radianteyes on them, she would reply with thrilling earnestness, "_Has_ yourgrandmother sold her mangle yet?" and this always impressed the suitorsso deeply that they retired weeping to a neighboring monastery, wherethey hung up their armor in the chapel, and taking the vows, passed theremainder of their lives mostly in flogging themselves, wearing hairshirts, and putting dry toast-crumbs in their beds.
Now, when the king found that all his best nobles were turning intomonks, he was greatly displeased, and said to the princess:--
"My daughter, it is high time that all this nonsense came to an end. Thenext time a respectable person asks you to marry him, you will say,'With all my heart!' or I will know the reason why."
But this the princess could not endure, for she had never yet seen a manwhom she was willing to marry. Nevertheless, she feared her father'sanger, for she knew that he always kept his word; so that very night sheslipped down the back stairs of the palace, opened the back door, andran away out into the wide world.
She wandered for many days, over mountain and moor, through fen andthrough forest, until she came to a fair city. Here all the bells wereringing, and the people shouting and flinging caps into the air; fortheir old king was dead, and they were just about to crown a new one.The new king was a stranger, who had come to the town only the daybefore; but as soon as he heard of the old monarch's death, he told thepeople that he was a king himself, and as he happened to be without akingdom at that moment, he would be quite willing to rule over them. Thepeople joyfully assented, for the late king had left no heir; and nowall the preparations had been completed. The crown had been polished up,and a new tip put on the sceptre, as the old king had quite spoiled itby poking the fire with it for upwards of forty years.
When the people saw the beautiful princess, they welcomed her with manybows, and insisted on leading her before the new king.
"Who knows but that they may be related?" said everybody. "They bothcame from the same direction, and both are strangers."
Accordingly the princess was led to the market-place, where the king wassitting in royal state. He had a fat, red, shining face, and did notlook like the kings whom she had been in the habit of seeing; butnevertheless the princess made a graceful courtesy, and then waited tohear what he would say.
The new king seemed rather embarrassed when he saw that it was aprincess who appeared before him; but he smiled graciously, and said, ina smooth oily voice,--
"I trust your 'Ighness is quite well. And 'ow did yer 'Ighness leave yerpa and ma?"
At these words the princess raised her head and looked fixedly at thered-faced king; then she replied, with scornful distinctness,--
"What is the price of butter?"
At these words an alarming change came over the king's face. The redfaded from it, and left it a livid green; his teeth chattered; his eyesstared, and rolled in their sockets; while the sceptre dropped from histrembling hand and fell at the princess's feet. For the truth was, thiswas no king at all, but a retired butterman, who had laid by a littlemoney at his trade, and had thought of setting up a public house; butchancing to pass through this city at the very time when they werelooking for a king, it struck him that he might just as well fill thevacant place as any one else. No one had thought of his being animpostor; but when the princess fixed her clear eyes on him and askedhim that familiar question, which he had been in the habit of hearingmany times a day for a great part of his life, the guilty buttermanthought himself detected, and shook in his guilty shoes. Hastilydescending from his throne, he beckoned he princess into a side-chamber,and closing the door, besought her in moving terms not to betray him.
"Here," he said, "is a bag of rubies as big as pigeon's eggs. There aresix thousand of them, and I 'umbly beg your 'Ighness to haccept them asa slight token hof my hesteem, if your 'Ighness will kindly consent tospare a respeckable tradesman the disgrace of being hexposed."
The princess reflected, and came to the conclusion that, after all, abutterman might make as good a king as any one else; so she took therubies with a gracious little nod, and departed, while all the peopleshouted, "Hooray!" and followed her, waving their hats and kerchiefs, tothe gates of the city.
With her bag of rubies over her shoulder, the fair princess now pursuedher journey, and fared forward over heath and hill, through brake andthrough brier. After several days she came to a deep forest, which sheentered without hesitation, for she knew no fear. She had not gone ahundred paces under the arching limes, when she was met by a band ofrobbers, who stopped her and asked what she did in their forest, andwhat she carried in her bag. They were fierce, black-bearded men, armedto the teeth with daggers, cutlasses, pistols, dirks, hangers,blunderbusses, and other defensive weapons; but the princess
gazedcalmly on them, and said haughtily,--
"Has your grandmother sold her mangle yet?"
"It is true!" he gasped. "We are undone! Noble princess!"and here he and the whole band assumed attitudes of supplication.--PAGE195.]
The effect was magical. The robbers started back in dismay, crying, "Thecountersign!" Then they hastily lowered their weapons, and assumingattitudes of abject humility, besought the princess graciously toaccompany them to their master's presence. With a lofty gesture shesignified assent, and the cringing, trembling bandits led her on throughthe forest till they reached an open glade, into which the sunbeamsglanced right merrily. Here, under a broad oak-tree which stood in thecentre of the glade, reclined a man of gigantic stature and commandingmien, with a whole armory of weapons displayed upon his person.Hastening to their chief, the robbers conveyed to him, in agitatedwhispers, the circumstance of their meeting the princess, and of herunexpected reply to their questions. Hardly seeming to credit theirstatement, the gigantic chieftain sprang to his feet, and advancingtoward the princess with a respectful reverence, begged her to repeatthe remark which had so disturbed his men. With a royal air, and inclear and ringing tones, the princess repeated,--
"_Has_ your grandmother sold her mangle yet?" and gazed steadfastly atthe robber chief.
He turned deadly pale, and staggered against a tree, which aloneprevented him from falling.
"It is true!" he gasped. "We are undone! The enemy is without doubtclose at hand, and all is over. Yet," he added with more firmness, andwith an appealing glance at the princess, "yet there may be one chanceleft for us. If this gracious lady will consent to go forward, insteadof returning through the wood, we may yet escape with our lives. Nobleprincess!" and here he and the whole band assumed attitudes ofsupplication, "consider, I pray you, whether it would really add to yourhappiness to betray to the advancing army a few poor foresters, who earntheir bread by the sweat of their brow. Here," he continued, hastilydrawing something from a hole in the oak-tree, "is a bag containing tenthousand sapphires, each as large as a pullet's egg. If you willgraciously deign to accept them, and to pursue your journey in thedirection I shall indicate, the Red Chief of the Rustywhanger will beyour slave forever."
The princess, who of course knew that there was no army in theneighborhood, and who moreover did not in the least care which way shewent, assented to the Red Chief's proposition, and taking the bag ofsapphires, bowed her farewell to the grateful robbers, and followedtheir leader down a ferny path which led to the farther end of theforest. When they came to the open country, the robber chieftain tookhis leave of the princess, with profound bows and many protestations ofdevotion, and returned to his band, who were already preparing to plungeinto the impenetrable thickets of the midforest.
The princess, meantime, with her two bags of gems on her shoulders,fared forward with a light heart, by dale and by down, through moss andthrough meadow. By-and-by she came to a fair high palace, built all ofmarble and shining jasper, with smooth lawns about it, and sunny gardensof roses and gillyflowers, from which the air blew so sweet that it wasa pleasure to breathe it. The princess stood still for a moment, totaste the sweetness of this air, and to look her fill at so fair a spot;and as she stood there, it chanced that the palace-gates opened, and theyoung king rode out with his court, to go a-catching of nighthawks.
Now when the king saw a right fair princess standing alone at hispalace-gate, her rich garments dusty and travel-stained, and two heavysacks hung upon her shoulders, he was filled with amazement; and leapingfrom his steed, like the gallant knight that he was, he besought her totell him whence she came and whither she was going, and in what way hemight be of service to her.
But the princess looked down at her little dusty shoes, and answerednever a word; for she had seen at the first glance how fair and goodly aking this was, and she would not ask him the price of butter, norwhether his grandmother had sold her mangle yet. But she thought in herheart, "Now, I have never, in all my life, seen a man to whom I would sowillingly say, 'With all my heart!' if he should ask me to marry him."
The king marvelled much at her silence, and presently repeated hisquestions, adding, "And what do you carry so carefully in those twosacks, which seem over-heavy for your delicate shoulders?"
Still holding her eyes downcast, the princess took a ruby from one bag,and a sapphire from the other, and in silence handed them to the king,for she willed that he should know she was no beggar, even though hershoes were dusty. Thereat all the nobles were filled with amazement, forno such gems had ever been seen in that country.
But the king looked steadfastly at the princess, and said, "Rubies arefine, and sapphires are fair; but, maiden, if I could but see thoseeyes of yours, I warrant that the gems would look pale and dull besidethem."
At that the princess raised her clear dark eyes, and looked at the kingand smiled; and the glance of her eyes pierced straight to his heart, sothat he fell on his knees and cried:
"Ah! sweet princess, now do I know that thou art the love for whom Ihave waited so long, and whom I have sought through so many lands. Giveme thy white hand, and tell me, either by word or by sign, that thouwilt be my queen and my bride!"
And the princess, like a right royal maiden as she was, looked himstraight in the eyes, and giving him her little white hand, answeredbravely, "_With all my heart!_"