I winced, unable to hide my heartbreak. Regret flashed across his face, but he didn’t apologize.
“Isn’t that what you do?” he gritted out, apparently not caring that he was obliterating whole pieces of me at a time. “You leave when things get tough? You run just when people need you the most?”
“Ryder, I left because I wanted to protect you-”
He cut me off, “I’m not talking about myself.”
“Then what are you talking about?”
“Your friends, Ivy. Exie and Sloane. They’re… they’re in trouble and they needed you and you left them.”
“They’re in trouble?”
He eyed me carefully, taking in the whole of me. His eyes swept over me from head to toe and his lips pressed into a frown. When he spoke again, I felt his dismissal. “Find out for yourself. I have to get back in there.”
He left me on the sidewalk crumbling to pieces and with so many questions that I didn’t know where to start. But I had the sick feeling that he was right.
Did I really run when things got hard? Was I that much of a coward?
As much as I wanted to run now, his words made it clear that I couldn’t. At least, not yet. First, I needed to see Exie and Sloane and figure out what the hell he was talking about.
Chapter Four
There were no cabs near the Slowdown so I had to walk to a nearby restaurant and call one. While I waited, I ordered an iced tea and nibbled on soft pretzel sticks.
I wasn’t hungry at all. In fact, after Ryder’s confrontation, I was nervous I would just puke the pretzels back up. Still, after waitressing for over a year, I knew what it was like on the other side. I thought I should not waste my server’s time.
As soon as the cab arrived, I threw some cash down on the table and ran back outside. I was too close to Ryder still. I needed as much space as I could get to clear my head and figure out what to do next.
I gave the cab driver directions to Exie’s house first, but everything looked abandoned. There were no lights on and the grass hadn’t been cut in a while. It pushed onto the sidewalk and driveway along the edges, looking sloppy and neglectful.
Echo would have never allowed the yard to look like this if she were still living here. I didn’t know what to think about that.
I realized belatedly that I should have tried to get a rental car at the airport. While I had enough money for cabs, I didn’t want to spend my entire day driving around the city in them. Unfortunately, not even my fake passport had my age as old enough to legally rent a car, and without my Siren’s curse, I had no hope of convincing a clerk to give me one anyway.
So with few options, I instructed the driver how to get to Sloane’s house next. If she wasn’t home I didn’t know what I was going to do or where I would go after.
My options right now wavered between going back to the island or calling for Hermes.
I had a strong feeling Tortola was not where I wanted to be, but then again, I really, really, really didn’t want to call Hermes.
I didn’t know whether to feel relieved or anxious when Sloane’s house showed signs of life. The lawn had been taken care of, blinds were open and so was the garage door, revealing Sloane’s mom’s car.
I paid the driver, grabbed my purse and slammed the door shut behind me. My feet dragged as I walked up to the front door.
Sloane and I hadn’t left things on the best of terms, but I still loved her. If she was in trouble, I wanted to help.
I had always wanted to help her. She just hadn’t let me.
The cab drove away and I felt very alone and suddenly very afraid. I wouldn’t put it past Sloane’s mom, Thalia, to knock me unconscious, tie me up and hold me until Nix showed up.
I was banking on the fact that some love had been lost between Thalia and Nix after Anaxandra and Evaleen were killed last year.
Initially she had blamed me. I hoped she’d realized by now that I wasn’t her daughter’s murderer. I had tried to save Eva from Nix’s plans.
Shaking out my unease, I met Thalia in the garage. She had stepped back outside to get groceries from her trunk. Her long dark hair was pinned in a bun on the top of her head and worked with her glasses to give her the whole sexy librarian vibe.
Nix had turned Thalia into a career girl for him a long time ago. Her house, car and clothes reflected her success. From a distance she looked pristine… shiny. She looked like a trophy wife made from every man’s fantasies.
After spending so much time on the island and away from the Greek circle, her beauty was startling. I had forgotten that they, er, that we were so flawlessly pretty.
“What are you doing here?” she snapped as soon as her cold gaze landed on me. “He’ll kill you if he finds you. You shouldn’t have come back.”
“I’m looking for Sloane,” I answered honestly. I chose to ignore everything else. It wasn’t anything I didn’t already know.
Thalia snorted her disgust. I had never heard her make a sound like that. In fact, the longer I stood there, I realized that although she looked impeccable from a distance, up close there were signs that led me to believe she might not be doing so well.
Dark smudges circled her blood shot eyes and her lips were dried out, almost cracked. Her clothes and hair were still nicely styled, but she looked alarmingly frail. She was too skinny, sickly skinny.
“Now you want to know where she is?” she hissed at me. “Well, I don’t know what to tell you, Ivy. I don’t know where she is. I haven’t known where she is since you took off and left the rest of us to pay for your sins.”
“What are you saying?” Desperation laced my tone, so raw and obvious that her expression softened just a bit.
She waved a hand in front of her face, “He took her. He took my Sloane and Exie and your mother months ago. I haven’t heard a word from them.”
“Where?”
“I don’t know!” she shouted. “He cut me loose! That’s my punishment. I’m cut off completely. I don’t get to hear from Sloane or know what’s going on or if she’s all right. He told me I would never see her again. I don’t even know if she’s still alive.”
I watched her dissolve in front of me. Her hands flew to her face to cover hiccupping sobs and her thin shoulders shook from the force of her sorrow.
Empathy and my own concern rippled through me, but I couldn’t bring myself to comfort Thalia Clayton. She brought this on herself by letting her family get so wrapped up in Nix’s ugly world. Her children should never have been within that monster’s reach. It was her job as their mother to protect them, not throw them to the wolves.
“I know you blame me,” she sniffled. She was not wrong. “But not all of us can be as brave as you, Ivy. Not all of us know how to get out. I didn’t know what else to do! I didn’t know how else to protect them than to teach them to stay in line. That was the best I could do for them!” She wrapped her arms around her middle and let her tears stream freely. “If I had known… if I had…”
“Where’s Echo?” I asked in an effort to move on.
Thalia shrugged. “She probably killed herself.”
“What?”
She turned back to look at me. “I don’t know that for sure. I haven’t been able to reach her. Nobody has seen her. I wouldn’t blame her though.”
The conviction in her voice surprised me. I had so many questions and I was quickly realizing Hermes was right. I couldn’t avoid this any longer. Not if my friends were involved too.
And because of me.
“Have you heard from Nix? Do you know where he is?”
“Last I heard he went back to Greece. He has men looking for you, you know. He led the search himself for a while, but when he couldn’t find you he came back and got the girls. He thought that might be some incentive for you to reappear. But you never did.”
Frustration fissured through me, creating deep craters that would leave scars on my bones. “I didn’t hear,” I swore to her. “When I left, I never intended to come back. I?
?? I didn’t check in because I didn’t want to get anyone in trouble.”
She made another derisive sound, “Thanks for that.”
I had officially lost my patience. “Thalia, I asked Sloane and Exie to come with me. I begged them to! We had planned for years to escape together. That was always the plan. But in the end, they wouldn’t. They wouldn’t leave. They had been conditioned to believe we couldn’t make it and so they didn’t even try!”
“And why do you think they thought that? Could it have something to do with their sisters dying?”
“I know it was that! But that’s why it was so important that we tried. We would have made it. I made it.”
I thought she would yell right back at me. I expected all of her fire and brimstone. I expected a display of power or something. Instead, she nodded sadly and said, “You know, when I was your age, I had the same thoughts. I knew I was smart. I knew I was motivated. I could get out, I thought. I could escape. I think all of us believe it. Before you experience the life, I mean really experience it. Before it destroys every single ounce of hope and will power in you, before it rips out your insides and shreds what’s left of your dignity, I think it’s natural to believe that you can be the one that actually breaks free. I don’t blame you for wanting out, Ivy. I don’t blame any of you. But what you don’t understand about Nix is that he makes it impossible to leave. If he cannot find you, then he punishes you by taking those that you love and care about. It’s his way. You got out, Ivy. You got farther than anyone else, but here you are. He drew you back in because we can’t help it.”
I had been listening intently to each of her words and when she stopped, I felt like I was missing something. “We can’t help what?”
“As heartless as we try to be, we always end up caring for someone. He always has someone he can use to bring us back to him. There is always someone left at risk.” She shook her head and looked down at her feet. “It’s nothing I don’t deserve though. My daughters were everything to me. We call them legacies and you know very well what that means, but I really thought of them that way. They were mine. They were the only good thing I had done with my entire life and I lost them both.”
I struggled to swallow against the swell of emotion that expanded suddenly inside of me. “I’m going to get them back,” I found myself saying. “I’m going to find Sloane and Exie.”
Her eyes snapped back to mine and held. “That’s what he wants.”
“What else does he want, Thalia? This goes beyond just losing one of his girls. Why am I so important?”
She tore her gaze from mine to look up and down the street. It was quiet, still. The sun was getting ready to set and the evening light had started to fade quickly.
“Let’s go inside,” she whispered.
Nerves fluttered inside of me and for some reason I knew that was a very bad idea. I didn’t want to believe that Thalia would hurt me after what felt like a bonding session between us, but I couldn’t trust anyone. That was something I had learned a long time ago.
“Tell me here. Stop stalling.”
She flinched as if I’d caught her. “You’re really going to find Sloane?”
“Or die trying,” I promised.
She let out a deep sigh and said, “I don’t know for sure. Nobody does. It’s not like Nix is open about his plans.” Just as I started to feel disappointment, she went on, “But there have been rumors. The gods are back in play. They’ve returned to Olympus and now they’re all gunning for Zeus’ spot.”
“This isn’t anything I don’t know. But why are the gods back at Olympus and why do they think they can take over?”
“Zeus is missing,” she whispered. “With Zeus gone, the throne is up for grabs. Nix has always wanted it. Ares and Hades too. They have fought wars for it before and I know they would again in a second if they thought they could win it. There is a rumor though that Nix has a secret weapon so strong and powerful that Ares and Hades have stepped back. They are working for him now instead of with him or against him. Whatever this weapon is must have serious power to cull those two.”
New nerves skittered over my skin. I remembered all of those times Nix took me to socialize with Hades and Ares. I shuddered just thinking about how repugnant they were.
“So what happens if Nix gets the throne? He rules Olympus? That doesn’t mean that much these days.”
She shrugged again. “I don’t know. The gods haven’t had true power in thousands of years. But then, they’re gods. What’s a few thousand years to them? The rumors flying around range from world domination to ancient vengeance. Nobody really knows.”
“They had world domination once and lost it,” I reminded her. “What makes them think they could keep it this time?”
“Ivy, I don’t know. I’ve told you everything I’ve heard, but I’m low on the ladder. Most of this information has come from bits and pieces I’ve picked up from your mother.”
That floored me. My mother? She had known all of this? And never said a word?
“Where is she?” I knew, thanks to Hermes, but I wanted to hear what Thalia could tell me.
I caught the hint of something painful flash across Thalia’s face before she looked away. “The Fates. Nix gave her to the Fates.”
“I don’t understand what they could want with her? What can she do for them?”
“Only they know. But whatever it is… it’s vile. You must understand that.”
I shivered in the warm air. “I have no doubt.” We stood there silently for another moment, both of us lost in our thoughts. I finally asked her the one question I needed to know more than any other and the one I knew she had been avoiding. “Thalia, why does Nix want me so badly? What am I to him? I know I’m missing something. If I’m going to get Sloane back, I have to know what it is.”
“Using my child against me,” she scolded. “I suppose you think that’s going to work.”
“I do. It will.”
“I know you want an exact answer from me, but I can’t give it to you. All I can tell you is that you have something to do with his weapon.”
“The weapon he’s going to use to wipe out the Pantheon and potentially invade the world?”
“The very one,” she smiled grimly at me. “I don’t know why or how or in what way, but I do know that. Evaleen overheard a conversation between Hades and Ares. They were discussing you, saying how they believed Nix now, how they had no choice but to get in line or go back into hiding.”
The streetlights flickered on behind me and made me jump. I hadn’t realized how dark it had gotten. I didn’t have any plans for the night and I needed to find a safe place to stay or get back on a plane and get the hell out of here.
“Come inside, Ivy,” Thalia coaxed. “I’ll find you something to eat. Do you have a place to stay? You can stay here if you need to. It would be nice to have some company for a change.”
Her sudden hospitality sent alarm bells ringing through my head. “No, thank you. I, uh, I have some other things to look into.”
Anger turned her expression from friendly to sour in a split second. I jumped back, surprised by how frightening she looked. She cleared her throat and smoothed down her black pencil skirt, seeming to get a better hold of herself.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’ve been a mess for months now.”
I took a few steps back, “I understand.”
“I want you to find Sloane,” she told me sincerely.
“I’m going to.” There was no hint of confusion or doubt in my voice. I would find Sloane. And Exie. I would find them and bring them back home.
No, scratch that. I would find them and take them somewhere safer than home… somewhere this ugly world would never touch us again.
“Ivy?” she called to me. “I’m going to call him.”
“What?” The word grated against my raw throat.
“Nix. I have to. If he found out I’ve seen you and didn’t tell him, he would take my head.”
“
But I’m getting Sloane back! I’m not lying! Thalia, listen to me. I will get her back. I will!”
She nodded as if she accepted my argument. “I know you will. That’s why I’m telling you. That’s why I’m giving you a head start.”
“You’re crazy!” I shouted at her as I picked up my pace.
As I raced through the neighborhood, desperate to get away from her, I could have sworn I heard her say, “I know.”
Chapter Five
I called another cab. I didn’t know where else to go.
I needed to see if Smith was home, but I didn’t think I should go tonight. I had tried calling him again while I waited for the cab, but he still hadn’t picked up. I was getting more and more nervous.
Hermes was on the tip of my tongue, but I felt like there was more to find out in Omaha first. I wanted to know as much about this impending war as I could.
I also wanted to know as much about both factions as I could.
Hermes seemed like the lesser evil when compared with Nix, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still evil.
I nearly had the cab drop me off at my old apartment. I didn’t know what Ava had done with it, but I realized that even if she still owned it, I didn’t have keys.
When I gave the driver directions, I surprised myself.
Light filtered out of Phoenix’s house, spilling onto the darkened flower beds. I could see his family moving around inside. The blinds hadn’t been closed yet and Phoenix’s parents and siblings were sprawled out on the couches watching something on TV.
It wasn’t until I was walking up to the front door that I realized Phoenix might not have made it home from the Slowdown yet. And what if he hated me as much as Ryder?
Would he turn me away?
I knocked on the doorway feeling more anxiety. I wouldn’t have been surprised if this day had turned my hair gray. The last few hours had been one horrible thing after another.
If Phoenix was mean to me that might be the final straw on my sanity.
I rang the doorbell and then heard a stampede of feet as his younger siblings raced for the door. I knew he had twin sisters, but it wasn’t until they wrenched the door open and stared at me that I realized how twin-ish they were.