After that, I was much nicer than I was mean. I started to help others being controlled by their cravings. It is hard work but if I can save one poor soul drowning in their senses, then my descent into mental captivity was well worth it. Now, when I hear my mind demanding something or other that is bad for me, I run, not walk away. Because it is too easy to get trapped into the alternative.
Chapter 5: Transient
[This is the first story written in this collection. It was completed while on vacation using a pen and steno pad. A recent reading of The Heart of Buddhist Meditation by Nyanaponika Thera inspired its creation. That book is about the Satipatthana Sutta, which teaches us how to know, refine, and liberate our minds just by monitoring our breath, emotions, mental states, and more. The unusual approach of a one-sided interview with each paragraph starting with a question was used.]
Our lives are nothing but a series of fleeting moments. Born out of the physical embrace of two beings that will likely not feel the same about each other afterwards. In some cases, they may never see each other ever again. We arrive into the world without choosing our circumstances. After creation, we move between parents and stepparents, states and countries, jobs and relationships. It is all transition after seemingly endless transition.
You want to interview me? Sure, I have a few minutes.
You asked what is my name? Does it so matter? It has lost its importance to me very long ago.
It is just a tag, a convenience to label a body, to classify a personality. Nothing more.
Where do I live? Well, as long as I can remember, I have been a transient. I am always on the go. The borders of the world are porous to me. I don't worry about the details about sleeping and eating. Opportunities arise and things just happen to work out. There are those that steal and then pay the consequences for an act that took seconds. If I can help it, I try to avoid society as much as I can. It is the shadows and the fringes that remain my home. The bright lights and the crowds are to be avoided at all costs.
What are my belongings? Well to move quickly, I travel light. So all I own are a week's worth of clothes, a well-worn map, an address book that I have ignored for some time, a notebook, and a pen. However, I do not keep a journal. From time to time, I write down a thought or two that strikes me as interesting.
What was the most interesting moment on the road so far? Well there have been many. Yet, I will tell you of one that stayed with me. During that time, I was roaming though the South. Somehow, I ended up near the coast. The heat was real oppressive that week and it was the height of the vacation season. That is a funny idea. People needing to take a vacation. The terms tourism, vacation, holiday, etc. have been alien to me for some time. For a very short period of my life, I had the semblance of the so-called normal life. This included a steady job, an apartment, and fine prospects. Then after one Friday ending the workweek, I had a realization. Continuing this life was shallow and would lead me to nowhere. I would always feel incomplete and waiting for something to happen before I felt satisfied. It was just participating in a hollow dream where I just am grabbing on to anything that I thought would make me happy. As a result, I took a few things and just started walking. I kept on moving. Living in areas abandoned and forgotten by humankind.
Where was I going with this? You have to be patient with me. I don't often talk much to people so I may not be able to express myself without meandering from time to time. So, I was on the coast down South during a hot summer period. The nice thing is even on popular beaches, there are always places to hide. In this case, too many hotels were built and went out of business. Or, maybe the owner went bankrupt from being financially reckless. Later these vacation palaces were abandoned. Thankfully, I spent my evenings in one of these all but forgotten hotels. I would stop there from time to time.
So what happened there? I am getting there, youngster. As the moon arose, I was surprised to see some other transients stop by. We had never met before. The apparent leader, an old man with a healthy-sized beard warmly greeted me. "Welcome friend. Like you, we are just passing through. I am called Pilgrim. Along the way, I met Seeker and Trekman. To make the journey bearable, we decided to travel together. Who might you be?"
So what name did I give? Well I responded with the following. "Welcome all. It is good sometimes to share time with other nomads. Having a name is not important to me. So just call me Nameless." Pilgrim nodded and said, "Fine, Nameless it shall be. We have all taken various difficult and twisting roadways to get here."
Then what happened after that? I paused and thought about what took place. "We talked for many hours. It was a rare chance to interact with another. In turn, each of us disclosed what life was like before being on the road. Then we told about the series of events that made us transients. And the endless wandering afterwards. Then we all agreed it was time to sleep.
So why is this story so interesting? Well it is what follows next. Seeker spoke the following: "Before we drift our in our temporary home of dreams and nightmares, we will contemplate on the wonders of the Universe, using our own life as input. "
You are asking how did we do that? Seeker responded as he had done many times before." Pretty simple actually. Amazingly, we can do it anytime and anywhere. Just watch your breath inhale or exhale, your chest rise and fall, and your thoughts or emotions be born and then die. These sensations are like each of our lives whether on the road or not. We do this for twenty minutes. I still have a watch that works." Then, we all did that together and individually. It was a powerful yet simple succession of moments. Some thoughts and feelings stayed longer than others did but eventually they all passed. "Time," Seeker spoke, "It has been twenty minutes." It felt like an eternity went by. We said our goodnights. Then the next day, we all went our separate ways.
What did I think about the exercise? It was an eye-opener just sitting and watching my breath. I see the similarity of breathing to my life. Things always changing, never permanent. And I started to think about my past for the first time in a long while. Anger, regret, jealousy, lust, anxiety, and fear. All these flew by me. Like a movie. However this time, I didn't get attached to any of their stories. Focusing on my breath, they rose and disappeared. I was starting to feel more relaxed when...
Do I still practice watching my breath? Yes good friend every night before retiring. I found a discarded watch although scratched that was still working well. Just before I lose all consciousness, I practice the "breath game." Along the way, I taught others as well. Soon among the transient, I was known as Breath Man, which some may see as a step up from Nameless. Doing this made days seem more important.
Did I ever see Seeker and his crowd again? No. Still, I am grateful for the gift he gave me. Time for us to part. What you do with this information is up to you. Maybe I'll find you doing "the breath game" somewhere along the way."
Chapter 6: My Dinner with Ananda
[One interesting icebreaker question sometimes given is "If you could have dinner with three people, living or dead, which three people would you choose? One of my selections would be Ananda for the reasons given in the story. What he might actually say if he was living today is unknown. However, I hope that he would include some of the talking points listed below. There are many links online to the Dhammapada (Dharmapada). One translation can be found at https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/kn/dhp/dhp.intro.than.html]
It has been over 2000 years since the Buddha's first cousin and last attendant graced the earth with his presence. Sometimes, fate allows you to experience a true blast from the past. Over ten thousand people entered a contest to have dinner with a holographic recreation of one of their favorite historical figures. It was sheer luck that I won. I had picked Ananda as my dinner date. He had always appealed to me. There were some probing questions that I wanted eagerly to ask him.
I went into the holographic room to await for his arrival. He appeared on time, looked splendid in his orange robe, was incredibly handsome, and warmly greeted me. H
e was everything that I expected -compassionate, wise, and formal. The Buddha himself mentioned Ananda's good characteristics of being loyal, having a great memory, and retaining an excellent understanding of the teaching. This was in no doubt in part due to hearing nearly all of the Buddha's instruction in person. Those sessions that he did not attend, the Buddha recited to him. He was also encouraged to ask the Buddha questions for the subject areas that he did not comprehend. I sensed that Ananda (whose name means Blissful) may also a good sense of humor. We sat down and began to sup.
So, I started asking him how he was doing. "Well, I am here doing and being. Also, I am hearing, sensing, listening, perceiving, thinking, and feeling. All that we intake from these senses shows us that our surroundings and our being are constantly and ever changing. "
He continued, in your time the scientists will talk about chemical and physical reactions to the brain. Still, they all result in the same thing. Grasping too little or too much to an object whether mental or physical can cause some suffering of various degrees.
He ate his salad with great relish. "This is quite good. I enjoy eating greens."
As I ate my chicken sandwich, I asked him some questions:
"So what really happened behind the scenes to convince the Buddha to allow women to become nuns?
"Let us briefly meditate before I answer," he spoke. We sat in silence for a short time.
Then he started, "That happened during an interesting year; the Tathagata's (One of the many names for the Buddha.) father had died. And his aunt and also the woman that had raised him (after his mother died), Maha Pajapati Gotami, wanted to end her years as a nun. It seemed like such a simple request. Persistent, she asked the Buddha one, two, three times for this wish. He turned it down politely for various reasons. Then he traveled on to the next city. "
"But Gotami was a tough old lady. In fact, Stubbornness ran deep in the whole family. She was determined to do this. Undeterred, she cut her hair, dressed in the garments of a monk, and walked the many miles to ask the Buddha a fourth time. Once they found out what she was doing, other women decided to join her to become nuns as well. There was no quit in Gotami. Unfortunately, when she reached the Buddha's presence, she was exhausted and fatigued. I felt compassion for this great woman. I asked her why she was sobbing and she explained what happened. I promised to be her advocate. Confidently, I asked the Buddha about her request and was politely rebuffed. Still, I did not give up and asked some additional times. Again, it was the same response."
"I knew that we were coming from similar intentions with our arguments. We both were motivated to bring about the end of suffering and awakening for both men and women. Firmly, I decided to try a different tack. I first asked if women were capable of going through the various stages of becoming Arahants (enlightened beings). He said yes, this was the case. Then I kind of 'tricked' him and inquired, if this was true, then would it be good for their welfare if women could become nuns? He assented at last. However, Gotami had to agree to follow eight rules, which she happily concurred. "
"Still, in reality, can you imagine anyone really tricking the Buddha? (No way.) "
"Afterwards, women could become ordained as nuns or Bhukkhuni. This was very unusual for the time. However, there are those in your age that object to the status of nuns as compared to monks. Also, there are others that want women to be ordained as monks. I will not discuss these issues. Instead, I will wish that any being working for their personal liberation as a monk or nun be free from suffering due to their efforts."
I also wanted to hear what it was like being in the Buddha's close company for so many years. He smiled.
"He had gone through multiple attendants until I was selected. It was a joy and honor to serve him. I got to see firsthand how he selflessly and tirelessly tried to educate all earthly and heavenly beings in his location. There were so many different questions from those from many dissimilar walks of life. Sometimes he sought them out. Other times, they went to great lengths to find and query them. Due to my memory retention capabilities, I was able to keep track of these many inquiries so I could recall them orally at the First Buddhist Council held after the Buddha's death. Still, it was a good deal of mindful speech to retain."
I am glad that he brought up the First Buddhist Council because Ananda almost did get to attend. To join the council, you had to be an Arahant. Sadly, Ananda had not reached enlightenment by the day before the Council. So, I asked, was that not a lot of pressure to become awake? Incredibly, he had only one day to make it happen.
Ananda calmly stated," Watching over my cousin's needs as attendant took all of my time. So, there were only a few precious moments to practice. My lack of knowledge sometimes resulted in unskillful behavior. For example, I was the only one present that shed tears for the Blessed One's passing. Still before he reached Nibanna (Nirvana), he encouraged me to practice and I would reach my desired goal soon."
"That was a most difficult time. I tried very hard and was unable to reach Arahantship. The morning of the Council, I gave up trying to awake. Maybe I would attempt it sometime later. As a result, I accepted that I was not going to attend the Council. At that moment, a wonderful thing happened. As my head descended to my bed and reached the pillow, I was illuminated as an Arahant. Thus, I was able to attend. So, I believe that anyone can awake with the proper attention to the true nature of their mind and senses. "
I then asked him the difficulty of having a brother like Devadatta that caused personal harm to the Buddha and performed evil deeds. "It is hard to have someone close to you that performs unwholesome acts. However, I am grateful before his death, he too swore to follow the path of the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. Because of that last intention, after a long period of suffering, he too became an enlightened being. This means that there is hope for all those that follow this path." He reassuringly said, "I cannot give you a ready answer on what will work for you. Still, keep pushing yourself and when you are about to give up - let go and watch what happens."
I asked him for advice on how to find peace in this troubled world given his extensive knowledge of the Dharma. "The path of serving and having compassion balanced by a sense of wisdom will never steer you wrong. Things are always changing and impermanent so trying to hold on to them will result in suffering. This includes whatever your mind, feelings, and senses experience. To counter the grasp of your mind and body, practice, practice, practice. Meditate when you can, monitor your speech and actions, and seek good Dharma companions in your life. Greet each situation with an open heart and an inquiring mind. From there, all good will follow. Always try to do good and avoid evil to have a good karmic outcome. I could go on but those are the essentials"
The meal was long over and he indicated that he was to slated to return to the holographic world. Before he left, he gave me a signed copy of the Dhammapada that would last somehow even after I left the holographic chamber. I am not sure how something real can be passed to a virtual place. I have treasured this book to this day and have passed it on to the daughters that I have borne so they too can have an opportunity to find balance in in a changing world.
Chapter 7: Offering (Olivia Plymouth Series)
[This Qi Gong inspired prayer appears in two of the Olivia Plymouth books. It appears to be the perfect way to the end the book.]
Gratitude to the universe.
Gratitude in every breath.
Peace to All.
About the Author
Hallett German is a fiction and technical subject author on various aspects of IT. His works of fiction cross multiple genres including children, young adult, dysfunctional corporate mysteries/fantasies, historical fiction, and steampunk. His books offer a unique and original ride into other worlds and lives. His books can be found at https://hallettgermanfiction.ml and https://sites.google.com/site/hallettgermanfiction/
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