A WARD OF COLONEL STARBOTTLE'S
"The kernel seems a little off color to-day," said the barkeeper ashe replaced the whiskey decanter, and gazed reflectively after thedeparting figure of Colonel Starbottle.
"I didn't notice anything," said a bystander; "he passed the time o' daycivil enough to me."
"Oh, he's allus polite enough to strangers and wimmin folk even when heis that way; it's only his old chums, or them ez like to be thought so,that he's peppery with. Why, ez to that, after he'd had that quo'll withhis old partner, Judge Pratt, in one o' them spells, I saw him the nextminit go half a block out of his way to direct an entire stranger; andez for wimmin!--well, I reckon if he'd just got a head drawn on a man,and a woman spoke to him, he'd drop his battery and take off his hat toher. No--ye can't judge by that!"
And perhaps in his larger experience the barkeeper was right. He mighthave added, too, that the colonel, in his general outward bearing andjauntiness, gave no indication of his internal irritation. Yet he wasundoubtedly in one of his "spells," suffering from a moody cynicismwhich made him as susceptible of affront as he was dangerous inresentment.
Luckily, on this particular morning he reached his office and enteredhis private room without any serious rencontre. Here he opened his desk,and arranging his papers, he at once set to work with grim persistency.He had not been occupied for many minutes before the door opened to Mr.Pyecroft--one of a firm of attorneys who undertook the colonel's officework.
"I see you are early to work, Colonel," said Mr. Pyecroft cheerfully.
"You see, sir," said the colonel, correcting him with a slowdeliberation that boded no good--"you see a Southern gentleman--blankit!--who has stood at the head of his profession for thirty-five years,obliged to work like a blank nigger, sir, in the dirty squabbles ofpsalm-singing Yankee traders, instead of--er--attending to the affairsof--er--legislation!"
"But you manage to get pretty good fees out of it--Colonel?" continuedPyecroft, with a laugh.
"Fees, sir! Filthy shekels! and barely enough to satisfy a debt ofhonor with one hand, and wipe out a tavern score for the entertainmentof--er--a few lady friends with the other!"
This allusion to his losses at poker, as well as an oyster suppergiven to the two principal actresses of the "North Star Troupe," thenperforming in the town, convinced Mr. Pyecroft that the colonel was inone of his "moods," and he changed the subject.
"That reminds me of a little joke that happened in Sacramento last week.You remember Dick Stannard, who died a year ago--one of your friends?"
"I have yet to learn," interrupted the colonel, with the same deadlydeliberation, "what right HE--or ANYBODY--had to intimate that heheld such a relationship with me. Am I to understand, sir, thathe--er--publicly boasted of it?"
"Don't know!" resumed Pyecroft hastily; "but it don't matter, for if hewasn't a friend it only makes the joke bigger. Well, his widow didn'tsurvive him long, but died in the States t'other day, leavin' theproperty in Sacramento--worth about three thousand dollars--toher little girl, who is at school at Santa Clara. The question ofguardianship came up, and it appears that the widow--who only knew youthrough her husband--had, some time before her death, mentioned YOURname in that connection! He! he!"
"What!" said Colonel Starbottle, starting up.
"Hold on!" said Pyecroft hilariously. "That isn't all! Neither theexecutors nor the probate judge knew you from Adam, and the Sacramentobar, scenting a good joke, lay low and said nothing. Then the old fooljudge said that 'as you appeared to be a lawyer, a man of mature years,and a friend of the family, you were an eminently fit person, and oughtto be communicated with'--you know his hifalutin' style. Nobody saysanything. So that the next thing you'll know you'll get a letter fromthat executor asking you to look after that kid. Ha! ha! The boys saidthey could fancy they saw you trotting around with a ten year old girlholding on to your hand, and the Senorita Dolores or Miss Bellamontlooking on! Or your being called away from a poker deal some night bythe infant, singing, 'Gardy, dear gardy, come home with me now, theclock in the steeple strikes one!' And think of that old fool judge notknowing you! Ha! ha!"
A study of Colonel Starbottle's face during this speech would havepuzzled a better physiognomist than Mr. Pyecroft. His first look ofastonishment gave way to an empurpled confusion, from which a singleshort Silenus-like chuckle escaped, but this quickly changed again intoa dull coppery indignation, and, as Pyecroft's laugh continued, fadedout into a sallow rigidity in which his murky eyes alone seemed to keepwhat was left of his previous high color. But what was more singular,in spite of his enforced calm, something of his habitual old-fashionedloftiness and oratorical exaltation appeared to be returning to him ashe placed his hand on his inflated breast and faced Pyceroft.
"The ignorance of the executor of Mrs. Stannard and the--er--probatejudge," he began slowly, "may be pardonable, Mr. Pyecroft, since hisHonor would imply that, although unknown to HIM personally, I am atleast amicus curiae in this question of--er--guardianship. But I amgrieved--indeed I may say shocked--Mr. Pyecroft, that the--er--lastsacred trust of a dying widow--perhaps the holiest trust that canbe conceived by man--the care and welfare of her helpless orphanedgirl--should be made the subject of mirth, sir, by yourself and themembers of the Sacramento bar! I shall not allude, sir, to my ownfeelings in regard to Dick Stannard, one of my most cherished friends,"continued the colonel, in a voice charged with emotion, "but I canconceive of no nobler trust laid upon the altar of friendship than thecare and guidance of his orphaned girl! And if, as you tell me, theutterly inadequate sum of three thousand dollars is all that is left forher maintenance through life, the selection of a guardian sufficientlydevoted to the family to be willing to augment that pittance out of hisown means from time to time would seem to be most important."
Before the astounded Pyecroft could recover himself, Colonel Starbottleleaned back in his chair, half closing his eyes, and abandoned himself,quite after his old manner, to one of his dreamy reminiscences.
"Poor Dick Stannard! I have a vivid recollection, sir, of driving outwith him on the Shell Road at New Orleans in '54, and of his saying,'Star'--the only man, sir, who ever abbreviated my name--'Star, ifanything happens to me or her, look after our child! It was during thatvery drive, sir, that, through his incautious neglect to fortify himselfagainst the swampy malaria by a glass of straight Bourbon with a pinchof bark in it, he caught that fever which undermined his constitution.Thank you, Mr. Pyecroft, for--er--recalling the circumstance. I shall,"continued the colonel, suddenly abandoning reminiscence, sitting up, andarranging his papers, "look forward with great interest to--er--letterfrom the executor."
The next day it was universally understood that Colonel Starbottlehad been appointed guardian of Pansy Stannard by the probate judge ofSacramento.
There are of record two distinct accounts of Colonel Starbottle's firstmeeting with his ward after his appointment as her guardian. One, givenby himself, varying slightly at times, but always bearing unvaryingcompliment to the grace, beauty, and singular accomplishments of thisapparently gifted child, was nevertheless characterized more by vague,dreamy reminiscences of the departed parents than by any personalexperience of the daughter.
"I found the young lady, sir," he remarked to Mr. Pyecroft,"recalling my cherished friend Stannard in--er--form and features,and--although--er--personally unacquainted with her deceased mother--whobelonged, sir, to one of the first families of Virginia--I am told thatshe is--er--remarkably like her. Miss Stannard is at present a pupil inone of the best educational establishments in Santa Clara, where she isreceiving tuition in--er--the English classics, foreign belleslettres, embroidery, the harp, and--er--the use of the--er--globes,and--er--blackboard--under the most fastidious care, and my own personalsupervision. The principal of the school, Miss Eudoxia Tish--associatedwith--er--er--Miss Prinkwell--is--er--remarkably gifted woman; and asI was present at one of the school exercises, I had the opportunity oftestifying to her excellence in--er--short address I made to
the youngladies." From such glittering but unsatisfying generalities as theseI prefer to turn to the real interview, gathered from contemporarywitnesses.
It was the usual cloudless, dazzling, Californian summer day, temperedwith the asperity of the northwest trades that Miss Tish, lookingthrough her window towards the rose-embowered gateway of the seminary,saw an extraordinary figure advancing up the avenue. It was that ofa man slightly past middle age, yet erect and jaunty, whose costumerecalled the early water-color portraits of her own youthful days. Histightly buttoned blue frock coat with gilt buttons was opened far enoughacross the chest to allow the expanding of a frilled shirt, black stock,and nankeen waistcoat, and his immaculate white trousers were smartlystrapped over his smart varnished boots. A white bell-crowned hat,carried in his hand to permit the wiping of his forehead with a silkhandkerchief, and a gold-headed walking stick hooked over his arm,completed this singular equipment. He was followed, a few paces in therear, by a negro carrying an enormous bouquet, and a number of smallboxes and parcels tied up with ribbons. As the figure paused before thedoor, Miss Tish gasped, and cast a quick restraining glance around theclassroom. But it was too late; a dozen pairs of blue, black, round,inquiring, or mischievous eyes were already dancing and gloating overthe bizarre stranger through the window.
"A cirkiss--or nigger minstrels--sure as you're born!" said Mary Frost,aged nine, in a fierce whisper.
"No!--a agent from 'The Emporium,' with samples," returned Miss Briggs,aged fourteen.
"Young ladies, attend to your studies," said Miss Tish, as the servantbrought in a card. Miss Tish glanced at it with some nervousness, andread to herself, "Colonel Culpeper Starbottle," engraved in script, andbelow it in pencil, "To see Miss Pansy Stannard, under favor of MissTish." Rising with some perturbation, Miss Tish hurriedly intrustedthe class to an assistant, and descended to the reception room. She hadnever seen Pansy's guardian before (the executor had brought the child);and this extraordinary creature, whose visit she could not deny, mightbe ruinous to school discipline. It was therefore with an extra degreeof frigidity of demeanor that she threw open the door of the receptionroom, and entered majestically. But to her utter astonishment, thecolonel met her with a bow so stately, so ceremonious, and so commandingthat she stopped, disarmed and speechless.
"I need not ask if I am addressing Miss Tish," said the colonel loftily,"for without having the pleasure of--er--previous acquaintance, I canat once recognize the--er--Lady Superior and--er--chatelaine ofthis--er--establishment." Miss Tish here gave way to a slight cough andan embarrassed curtsy, as the colonel, with a wave of his white handtowards the burden carried by his follower, resumed more lightly: "Ihave brought--er--few trifles and gewgaws for my ward--subject, ofcourse, to your rules and discretion. They include some--er--dainties,free from any deleterious substance, as I am informed--a sash--a ribbonor two for the hair, gloves, mittens, and a nosegay--from which, Itrust, it will be HER pleasure, as it is my own, to invite you to cullsuch blossoms as may suit your taste. Boy, you may set them down andretire!"
"At the present moment," stammered Miss Tish, "Miss Stannard is engagedon her lessons. But"--She stopped again, hopelessly.
"I see," said the colonel, with an air of playful, poeticalreminiscence--"her lessons! Certainly!
'We will--er--go to our places, With smiles on our faces, And say all our lessons distinctly and slow.'
Certainly! Not for worlds would I interrupt them; until they are done,we will--er--walk through the classrooms and inspect"--
"No! no!" interrupted the horrified, principal, with a dreadfulpresentiment of the appalling effect of the colonel's entry upon theclass. "No!--that is--I mean--our rules exclude--except on days ofpublic examination"--
"Say no more, my dear madam," said the colonel politely. "Until she isfree I will stroll outside, through--er--the groves of the Academus"--
But Miss Tish, equally alarmed at the diversion this would create at theclassroom windows, recalled herself with an effort. "Please wait herea moment," she said hurriedly; "I will bring her down;" and before thecolonel could politely open the door for her, she had fled.
Happily unconscious of the sensation he had caused, Colonel Starbottleseated himself on the sofa, his white hands resting easily on thegold-headed cane. Once or twice the door behind him opened and closedquietly, scarcely disturbing him; or again opened more ostentatiouslyto the words, "Oh, excuse, please," and the brief glimpse of a flaxenbraid, or a black curly head--to all of which the colonel noddedpolitely--even rising later to the apparition of a taller, demure younglady--and her more affected "Really, I beg your pardon!" The only resultof this evident curiosity was slightly to change the colonel's attitude,so as to enable him to put his other hand in his breast in his favoritepose. But presently he was conscious of a more active movement in thehall, of the sounds of scuffling, of a high youthful voice saying "Iwon't" and "I shan't!" of the door opening to a momentary apparition ofMiss Tish dragging a small hand and half of a small black-ribboned arminto the room, and her rapid disappearance again, apparently pulled backby the little hand and arm; of another and longer pause, of a whisperedconference outside, and then the reappearance of Miss Tish majestically,reinforced and supported by the grim presence of her partner, MissPrinkwell.
"This--er--unexpected visit," began Miss Tish--"not previously arrangedby letter"--
"Which is an invariable rule of our establishment," supplemented MissPrinkwell--
"And the fact that you are personally unknown to us," continued MissTish--
"An ignorance shared by the child, who exhibits a distaste for aninterview," interpolated Miss Prinkwell, in a kind of antiphonalresponse--
"For which we have had no time to prepare her," continued Miss Tish--
"Compels us most reluctantly"--But here she stopped short. ColonelStarbottle, who had risen with a deep bow at their entrance and remainedstanding, here walked quietly towards them. His usually high colorhad faded except from his eyes, but his exalted manner was still morepronounced, with a dreadful deliberation superadded.
"I believe--er--I had--the honah--to send up my kyard!" (In his suprememoments the colonel's Southern accent was always in evidence.) "Imay--er--be mistaken--but--er--that is my impression." The colonelpaused, and placed his right hand statuesquely on his heart.
The two women trembled--Miss Tish fancied the very shirt frill of thecolonel was majestically erecting itself--as they stammered in onevoice,--
"Ye-e-es!"
"That kyard contained my full name--with a request to see my ward--MissStannard," continued the colonel slowly. "I believe that is the fact."
"Certainly! certainly!" gasped the women feebly.
"Then may I--er--point out to you that I AM--er--WAITING?"
Although nothing could exceed the laborious simplicity and huskysweetness of the colonel's utterance, it appeared to demoralize utterlyhis two hearers--Miss Prinkwell seemed to fade into the pattern of thewall paper, Miss Tish to droop submissively forward like a pink waxcandle in the rays of the burning sun.
"We will bring her instantly. A thousand pardons, sir," they uttered inthe same breath, backing towards the door.
But here the unexpected intervened. Unnoticed by the three during thecolloquy, a little figure in a black dress had peeped through the door,and then glided into the room. It was a girl of about ten, who, in allcandor, could scarcely be called pretty, although the awkward change ofadolescence had not destroyed the delicate proportions of her hands andfeet nor the beauty of her brown eyes. These were, just then, round andwondering, and fixed alternately on the colonel and the two women. Butlike many other round and wondering eyes, they had taken in the fullmeaning of the situation, with a quickness the adult mind is not apt togive them credit for. They saw the complete and utter subjugation ofthe two supreme autocrats of the school, and, I grieve to say, they werefilled with a secret and "fearful joy." But the casual spectator sawnone of this; the round and wondering eyes, still rimmed with recent
andrecalcitrant tears, only looked big and innocently shining.
The relief of the two women was sudden and unaffected.
"Oh, here you are, dearest, at last!" said Miss Tish eagerly. "This isyour guardian, Colonel Starbottle. Come to him, dear!"
She took the hand of the child, who hung back with an odd mingling ofshamefacedness and resentment of the interference, when the voice ofColonel Starbottle, in the same deadly calm deliberation, said,--
"I--er--will speak with her--alone."
The round eyes again saw the complete collapse of authority, as the twowomen shrank back from the voice, and said hurriedly,--
"Certainly, Colonel Starbottle; perhaps it would be better," andingloriously quitted the room.
But the colonel's triumph left him helpless. He was alone with asimple child, an unprecedented, unheard-of situation, which left himembarrassed and--speechless. Even his vanity was conscious that hisoratorical periods, his methods, his very attitude, were powerless here.The perspiration stood out on his forehead; he looked at her vaguely,and essayed a feeble smile. The child saw his embarrassment, even asshe had seen and understood his triumph, and the small woman within herexulted. She put her little hands on her waist, and with the fingersturned downwards and outwards pressed them down her hips to her bendedknees until they had forced her skirts into an egregious fullness beforeand behind, as if she were making a curtsy, and then jumped up andlaughed.
"You did it! Hooray!"
"Did what?" said the colonel, pleased yet mystified.
"Frightened 'em!--the two old cats! Frightened 'em outen their slippers!Oh, jiminy! Never, never, NEVER before was they so skeert! Never sinceschool kept did they have to crawl like that! They was skeert enoughFIRST when you come, but just now!--Lordy! They wasn't a-goin' to letyou see me--but they had to! had to! HAD TO!" and she emphasized eachrepetition with a skip.
"I believe--er," said the colonel blandly, "that I--er--intimated withsome firmness"--
"That's it--just it!" interrupted the child delightedly."You--you--overdid 'em"
"What?"
"OVERDID 'EM! Don't you know? They're always so high and mighty! Kinder'Don't tech me. My mother's an angel; my father's a king'--all that sortof thing. They did THIS"--she drew herself up in a presumable imitationof the two women's majestic entrance--"and then," she continued,"you--YOU jest did this"--here she lifted her chin, and puffing out hersmall chest, strode towards the colonel in evident simulation of hisgrandest manner.
A short, deep chuckle escaped him--although the next moment his facebecame serious again. But Pansy in the mean time had taken possession ofhis coat sleeve and was rubbing her cheek against it like a young colt.At which the colonel succumbed feebly and sat down on the sofa, thechild standing beside him, leaning over and transferring her littlehands to the lapels of his frock coat, which she essayed to button overhis chest as she looked into his murky eyes.
"The other girls said," she began, tugging at the button, "that you wasa 'cirkiss'"--another tug--"'a nigger minstrel'"--and a third tug--"'aagent with samples'--but that showed all they knew!"
"Ah," said the colonel with exaggerated blandness, "and--er--what didYOU--er--say?"
The child smiled. "I said you was a Stuffed Donkey--but that was BEFOREI knew you. I was a little skeert too; but NOW"--she succeeded inbuttoning the coat and making the colonel quite apoplectic,--"NOW Iain't frightened one bit--no, not one TINY bit! But," she added, after apause, unbuttoning the coat again and smoothing down the lapels betweenher fingers, "you're to keep on frightening the old cats--mind! Nevermind about the GIRLS. I'll tell them."
The colonel would have given worlds to be able to struggle up into anupright position with suitable oral expression. Not that his vanity wasat all wounded by these irresponsible epithets, which only excited anamused wonder, but he was conscious of an embarrassed pleasure in thechild's caressing familiarity, and her perfect trustfulness in himtouched his extravagant chivalry. He ought to protect her, and yetcorrect her. In the consciousness of these duties he laid his white handupon her head. Alas! she lifted her arm and instantly transferred hishand and part of his arm around her neck and shoulders, and comfortablysnuggled against him. The colonel gasped. Nevertheless, something mustbe said, and he began, albeit somewhat crippled in delivery:--
"The--er--use of elegant and precise language by--er--young ladiescannot be too sedulously cultivated"--
But here the child laughed, and snuggling still closer, gurgled: "That'sright! Give it to her when she comes down! That's the style!" andthe colonel stopped, discomfited. Nevertheless, there was a certainwholesome glow in the contact of this nestling little figure.
Presently he resumed tentativery: "I have--er--brought you a fewdainties."
"Yes," said Pansy, "I see; but they're from the wrong shop, you dear oldsilly! They're from Tomkins's, and we girls just abominate his things.You oughter have gone to Emmons's. Never mind. I'll show you when we goout. We're going out, aren't we?" she said suddenly, lifting her headanxiously. "You know it's allowed, and it's RIGHTS 'to parents andguardians'!"
"Certainly, certainly," said the colonel. He knew he would feel a littleless constrained in the open air.
"Then we'll go now," said Pansy, jumping up. "I'll just run upstairs andput on my things. I'll say it's 'orders' from you. And I'll wear my newfrock--it's longer." (The colonel was slightly relieved at this; it hadseemed to him, as a guardian, that there was perhaps an abnormal displayof Pansy's black stockings.) "You wait; I won't be long."
She darted to the door, but reaching it, suddenly stopped, returned tothe sofa, where the colonel still sat, imprinted a swift kiss on hismottled cheek, and fled, leaving him invested with a mingled flavorof freshly ironed muslin, wintergreen lozenges, and recent bread andbutter. He sat still for some time, staring out of the window. It wasvery quiet in the room; a bumblebee blundered from the jasmine outsideinto the open window, and snored loudly at the panes. But the colonelheeded it not, and remained abstracted and silent until the door openedto Miss Tish and Pansy--in her best frock and sash, at which the colonelstarted and became erect again and courtly.
"I am about to take my ward out," he said deliberately,"to--er--taste the air in the Alameda, and--er--view the shops. Wemay--er--also--indulge in--er--slight suitable refreshment;--er--seedcake--or--bread and butter--and--a dish of tea."
Miss Tish, now thoroughly subdued, was delighted to grant Miss Stannardthe half holiday permitted on such occasions. She begged the colonel tosuit his own pleasure, and intrusted "the dear child" to her guardian"with the greatest confidence."
The colonel made a low bow, and Pansy, demurely slipping her handinto his, passed with him into the hall; there was a slight rustle ofvanishing skirts, and Pansy pressed his hand significantly. When theywere well outside, she said, in a lower voice:--
"Don't look up until we're under the gymnasium windows." The colonel,mystified but obedient, strutted on. "Now!" said Pansy. He looked up,beheld the windows aglow with bright young faces, and bewildering withmany handkerchiefs and clapping hands, stopped, and then taking off hishat, acknowledged the salute with a sweeping bow. Pansy was delighted."I knew they'd be there; I'd already fixed 'em. They're just dyin' toknow you."
The colonel felt a certain glow of pleasure, "I--er--had alreadyintimated a--er--willingness to--er--inspect the classes;but--I--er--understood that the rules"--
"They're sick old rules," interrupted the child. "Tish and Prinkwell arethe rules! You say just right out that you WILL! Just overdo her!"
The colonel had a vague sense that he ought to correct both the spiritand language of this insurrectionary speech, but Pansy pulled him along,and then swept him quite away with a torrent of prattle of the school,of her friends, of the teachers, of her life and its infinitely smallmiseries and pleasures. Pansy was voluble; never before had thecolonel found himself relegated to the place of a passive listener.Nevertheless, he liked it, and as they passed on, under the shade ofthe Alameda, with Pansy alternat
ely swinging from his hand and skippingbeside him, there was a vague smile of satisfaction on his face.Passers-by turned to look after the strangely assorted pair, or smiled,accepting them, as the colonel fancied, as father and daughter. An oddfeeling, half of pain and half of pleasure, gripped at the heart of theempty and childless man.
And now, as they approached the more crowded thoroughfares, theinstinct of chivalrous protection was keen in his breast. He piloted herskillfully; he jauntily suited his own to her skipping step; he liftedher with scrupulous politeness over obstacles; strutting beside her oncrowded pavements, he made way for her with his swinging stick. Allthe while, too, he had taken note of the easy carriage of her head andshoulders, and most of all of her small, slim feet and hands, that, tohis fastidious taste, betokened her race. "Ged, sir," he mutteredto himself, "she's 'Blue Grass' stock, all through." To admirationsucceeded pride, with a slight touch of ownership. When they went intoa shop, which, thanks to the ingenuous Pansy, they did pretty often,he would introduce her with a wave of the hand and the remark, "Iam--er--seeking nothing to-day, but if you will kindly--er--serve myWARD--Miss Stannard!" Later, when they went into the confectioner's forrefreshment, and Pansy frankly declared for "ice cream and cream cakes,"instead of the "dish of tea and bread and butter" he had ordered inpursuance of his promise, he heroically took it himself--to satisfyhis honor. Indeed, I know of no more sublime figure than ColonelStarbottle--rising superior to a long-withstood craving for a"cocktail," morbidly conscious also of the ridiculousness of hisappearance to any of his old associates who might see him--drinkingluke-warm tea and pecking feebly at his bread and butter at a smalltable, beside his little tyrant.
And this domination of the helpless continued on their way home.Although Miss Pansy no longer talked of herself, she was equallyvoluble in inquiry as to the colonel's habits, ways of life, friendsand acquaintances, happily restricting her interrogations, in regard tothose of her own sex, to "any LITTLE girls that he knew." Saved by thisexonerating adjective, the colonel saw here a chance to indulgehis postponed monitorial duty, as well as his vivid imagination. Heaccordingly drew elaborate pictures of impossible children he hadknown--creatures precise in language and dress, abstinent of play andconfectionery, devoted to lessons and duties, and otherwise, in Pansy'sown words, "loathsome to the last degree!" As "daughters of oldestand most cherished friends," they might perhaps have excited Pansy'schildish jealousy but for the singular fact that they had all long agobeen rewarded by marriage with senators, judges, and generals--alsoassociates of the colonel. This remoteness of presence somewhat marredtheir effect as an example, and the colonel was mortified, though notentirely displeased, to observe that their surprising virtues did notdestroy Pansy's voracity for sweets, the recklessness of her skipping,nor the freedom of her language. The colonel was remorseful--but happy.
When they reached the seminary again, Pansy retired with her variouspurchases, but reappeared after an interval with Miss Tish.
"I remember," hesitated that lady, trembling under the fascination ofthe colonel's profound bow, "that you were anxious to look over theschool, and although it was not possible then, I shall be glad to showyou now through one of the classrooms."
The colonel, glancing at Pansy, was momentarily shocked by a distortionof one side of her face, which seemed, however, to end in a wink of herinnocent brown eyes, but recovering himself, gallantly expressed hisgratitude. The next moment he was ascending the stairs, side by sidewith Miss Tish, and had a distinct impression that he had been pinchedin the calf by Pansy, who was following close behind.
It was recess, but the large classroom was quite filled with pupils,many of them older and prettier girls, inveigled there, as it afterwardsappeared, by Pansy, in some precocious presentiment of her guardian'staste. The colonel's apologetic yet gallant bow on entering, and hiserect, old-fashioned elegance, instantly took their delighted attention.Indeed, all would have gone well had not Miss Prinkwell, with the viewof impressing the colonel as well as her pupils, majestically introducedhim as "a distinguished jurist deeply interested in the cause ofeducation, as well as guardian of their fellow pupil." That opportunitywas not thrown away on Colonel Starbottle.
Stepping up to the desk of the astounded principal, he laid the pointsof his fingers delicately upon it, and, with a preparatory inclinationof his head towards her, placed his other hand in his breast, and withan invocatory glance at the ceiling, began.
It was the colonel's habit at such moments to state at first, with greatcare and precision, the things that he "would not say," that he "NEEDnot say," and apparently that it was absolutely unnecessary even toallude to. It was therefore, not strange that the colonel informed themthat he need not say that he counted his present privilege amongthe highest that had been granted him; for besides the privilege ofbeholding the galaxy of youthful talent and excellence before him,besides the privilege of being surrounded by a garland of the blossomsof the school in all their freshness and beauty, it was well understoodthat he had the greater privilege of--er--standing in loco parentis toone of these blossoms. It was not for him to allude to the high trustimposed upon him by--er--deceased and cherished friend, and daughter ofone of the first families of Virginia, by the side of one who must feelthat she was the recipient of trusts equally supreme (here the colonelpaused, and statuesquely regarded the alarmed Miss Prinkwell as if hewere in doubt of it), but he would say that it should be HIS devotedmission to champion the rights of the orphaned and innocent whenever andwherever the occasion arose, against all odds, and even in the face ofmisguided authority. (Having left the impression that Miss Prinkwellcontemplated an invasion of those rights, the colonel became morelenient and genial.) He fully recognized her high and noble office; hesaw in her the worthy successor of those two famous instructresses ofAthens--those Greek ladies--er--whose names had escaped his memory,but which--er--no doubt Miss Prinkwell would be glad to recall to herpupils, with some account of their lives. (Miss Prinkwell colored; shehad never heard of them before, and even the delight of the class in thecolonel's triumph was a little dampened by this prospect of hearing moreabout them.) But the colonel was only too content with seeing before himthese bright and beautiful faces, destined, as he firmly believed, inafter years to lend their charm and effulgence to the highestplaces as the happy helpmeets of the greatest in the land. Hewas--er--leaving a--er--slight testimonial of his regard in the formof some--er--innocent refreshments in the hands of his ward, whowould--er--act as--er--his proxy in their distribution; and thecolonel sat down to the flutter of handkerchiefs, an applause only halfrestrained, and the utter demoralization of Miss Prinkwell.
But the time of his departure had come by this time, and he was tooexperienced a public man to risk the possibility of an anticlimax byprotracting his leave-taking. And in an ominous shining of Pansy's bigeyes as the time approached he felt an embarrassment as perplexing asthe odd presentiment of loneliness that was creeping over him. Butwith an elaborate caution as to the dangers of self-indulgence, and theprivate bestowal of a large gold piece slipped into her hand, a promiseto come again soon, and an exaction that she would write to him often,the colonel received in return a wet kiss, a great deal of wet cheekpressed against his own, and a momentary tender clinging, like thatwhich attends the pulling up of some small flower, as he passed outinto the porch. In the hall, on the landing above him, there was a closepacking of brief skirts against the railing, and a voice, apparentlyproceeding from a pair of very small mottled legs protruding through thebalusters, said distinctly, "Free cheers for Ternel Tarbottle!" And tothis benediction the colonel, hat in hand, passed out of this Eden intothe world again.
The colonel's next visit to the seminary did not produce the samesensation as the first, although it was accompanied with equaldisturbance to the fair principals. Had he been a less conceited man hemight have noticed that their antagonism, although held in restraint bytheir wholesome fear of him, was in danger of becoming more a convictionthan a mere suspicion. He was made aw
are of it through Pansy'sresentment towards them, and her revelation of a certain inquisitionthat she had been subjected to in regard to his occupation, habits, andacquaintances. Naturally of these things Pansy knew very little, butthis had not prevented her from saying a great deal. There had beenenough in her questioners' manner to make her suspect that her guardianwas being attacked, and to his defense she brought the mendacityand imagination of a clever child. What she had really said did nottranspire except through her own comments to the colonel: "And of courseyou've killed people--for you're a kernel, you know?" (Here the coloneladmitted, as a point of fact, that he had served in the Mexican war.)"And you kin PREACH, for they heard you do it when you was here before,"she added confidently; "and of course you own niggers--for there's'Jim.'" (The colonel here attempted to explain that Jim, being in a freeState, was now a free man, but Pansy swept away such fine distinctions.)"And you're rich, you know, for you gave me that ten-dollar gold pieceall for myself. So I jest gave 'em as good as they sent--the old spiesand curiosity shops!" The colonel, more pleased at Pansy's devotion thanconcerned over the incident itself, accepted this interpretation of hischaracter as a munificent, militant priest with a smiling protest. But alater incident caused him to remember it more seriously.
They had taken their usual stroll through the Alameda, and had made theround of the shops, where the colonel had exhibited his usual liberalityof purchase and his exalted parental protection, and so had passed on totheir usual refreshment at the confectioner's, the usual ices and cakesfor Pansy, but this time--a concession also to the tyrant Pansy--a glassof lemon soda and a biscuit for the colonel. He was coughing over hisunaccustomed beverage, and Pansy, her equanimity and volubility restoredby sweets, was chirruping at his side; the large saloon was filling upwith customers--mainly ladies and children, embarrassing to him asthe only man present, when suddenly Pansy's attention was divertedby another arrival. It was a good-looking young woman, overdressed,striking, and self-conscious, who, with an air of one who was in thehabit of challenging attention, affectedly seated herself with a malecompanion at an empty table, and began to pull off an overtight glove.
"My!" said Pansy in admiring wonder, "ain't she fine?"
Colonel Starbottle looked up abstractedly, but at the first glancehis face flushed redly, deepened to a purple, and then became gray andstern. He had recognized in the garish fair one Miss Flora Montague, the"Western Star of Terpsichore and Song," with whom he had supped a fewdays before at Sacramento. The lady was "on tour" with her "Combinationtroupe."
The colonel leaned over and fixed his murky eyes on Pansy. "The roomis filling up; the place is stifling; I must--er--request youto--er--hurry."
There was a change in the colonel's manner, which the quick-wittedchild heeded. But she had not associated it with the entrance of thestrangers, and as she obediently gulped down her ice, she went oninnocently,--
"That fine lady's smilin' and lookin' over here. Seems to know you; sodoes the man with her."
"I--er--must request you," said the colonel, with husky precision, "NOTto look that way, but finish your--er--repast."
His tone was so decided that the child's lips pouted, but before shecould speak a shadow leaned over their table. It was the companion ofthe "fine lady."
"Don't seem to see us, Colonel," he said with coarse familiarity, layinghis hand on the colonel's shoulder. "Florry wants to know what's up."
The colonel rose at the touch. "Tell her, sir," he said huskily, butwith slow deliberation, "that I 'am up' and leaving this place withmy ward, Miss Stannard. Good-morning." He lifted Pansy with infinitecourtesy from her chair, took her hand, strolled to the counter, threwdown a gold piece, and passing the table of the astonished fair one withan inflated breast, swept with Pansy out of the shop. In the street hepaused, bidding the child go on; and then, finding he was not followedby the woman's escort, rejoined his little companion.
For a few moments they walked silently side by side. Then Pansy'scuriosity, getting the better of her pout, demanded information. She hadapplied a child's swift logic to the scene. The colonel was angry, andhad punished the woman for something. She drew closer to his side, andlooking up with her big eyes, said confidentially.
"What had she been a-doing?"
The colonel was amazed, embarrassed, and speechless. He was totallyunprepared for the question, and as unable to answer it. His abruptdeparture from the shop had been to evade the very truth now demanded ofhim. Only a supreme effort of mendacity was left him. He wiped his browwith his handkerchief, coughed, and began deliberately:--
"The--er--lady in question is in the habit of using a scentcalled--er--patchouli, a--er--perfume exceedingly distressing to me.I detected it instantly on her entrance. I wished to avoid it--withoutfurther contact. It is--er--singular but accepted fact that some peopleare--er--peculiarly affected by odors. I had--er--old cherished friendwho always--er--fainted at the odor of jasmine; and I was intimatelyacquainted with General Bludyer, who--er--dropped like a shot on thepresentation of a simple violet. The--er--habit of using such perfumesexcessively in public," continued the colonel, looking down upon theinnocent Pansy, and speaking in tones of deadly deliberation, "cannot betoo greatly condemned, as well as the habit of--er--frequentingplaces of public resort in extravagant costumes, with--er--individualswho--er--intrude upon domestic privacy. I trust you will eschew suchperfumes, places, costumes, and--er--companions FOREVER and--ON ALLOCCASIONS!" The colonel had raised his voice to his forensic emphasis,and Pansy, somewhat alarmed, assented. Whether she entirely accepted thecolonel's explanation was another matter.
The incident, although not again alluded to, seemed to shadow therest of their brief afternoon holiday, and the colonel's manner wasunmistakably graver. But it seemed to the child more affectionate andthoughtful. He had previously at parting submitted to be kissed byPansy with stately tolerance and an immediate resumption of his loftiestmanner. On this present leave-taking he laid his straight closely shavenlips on the crown of her dark head, and as her small arms clipped hisneck, drew her closely to his side. The child uttered a slight cry; thecolonel hurriedly put his hand to his breast. Her round cheek hadcome in contact with his derringer--a small weapon of beauty andprecision--which invariably nestled also at his side, in his waistcoatpocket. The child laughed; so did the colonel, but his cheek flushedmightily.
It was four months later, and a turbulent night. The early rains,driven by a strong southwester against the upper windows of the MagnoliaRestaurant, sometimes blurred the radiance of the bright lights within,and the roar of the encompassing pines at times drowned the soundsof song and laughter that rose from a private supper room. Even theclattering arrival and departure of the Sacramento stage coach, whichdisturbed the depths below, did not affect these upper revelers. ForColonel Starbottle, Jack Hamlin, Judge Beeswinger, and Jo Wynyard,assisted by Mesdames Montague, Montmorency, Bellefield, and "Tinky"Clifford, of the "Western Star Combination Troupe," then performing "ontour," were holding "high jinks" in the supper room. The colonel hadbeen of late moody, irritable, and easily upset. In the words of afriend and admirer, "he was kam only at twelve paces."
In a lull in the general tumult a Chinese waiter was seen at the doorvainly endeavoring to attract the attention of the colonel by signsand interjections. Mr. Hamlin's quick eye first caught sight of theintruder. "Come in, Confucius," said Jack pleasantly; "you're a triflelate for a regular turn, but any little thing in the way of knifeswallowing"--
"Lill missee to see connle! Waitee waitee, bottom side housee,"interrupted the Chinaman, dividing his speech between Jack and thecolonel.
"What! ANOTHER lady? This is no place for me!" said Jack, rising withfinely simulated decorum.
"Ask her up," chirped "Tinky" Clifford.
But at this moment the door opened against the Chinaman, and a smallfigure in a cloak and hat, dripping with raindrops, glided swiftly in.After a moment's half-frightened, half-admiring glance at the party,she darted forward with a little cry and t
hrew her wet arms round thecolonel. The rest of the company, arrested in their festivity, gaspedwith vague and smiling wonder; the colonel became purple and gasped.But only for a moment. The next instant he was on his legs, holding thechild with one hand, while with the other he described a stately sweepof the table.
"My ward--Miss Pansy Stannard," he said with husky brevity. But drawingthe child aside, he whispered quickly, "What has happened? Why are youhere?"
But Pansy, child-like, already diverted by the lights, the table piledwith delicacies, the gayly dressed women, and the air of festivity,answered half abstractedly, and as much, perhaps, to the curious eyesabout her as to the colonel's voice,--
"I runned away!"
"Hush!" whispered the colonel, aghast.
But Pansy, responding again to the company rather than her guardian'scounsel, and as if appealing to them, went on half poutingly: "Yes! Irunned away because they teased me! Because they didn't like you andsaid horrid things. Because they told awful, dreadful lies! Because theysaid I wasn't no orphan!--that my name wasn't Stannard, and that you'dmade it all up. Because they said I was a liar--and YOU WAS MY FATHER!"
A sudden outbreak of laughter here shook the room, and even drownedthe storm outside; again and again it rose, as the colonel staggeredgaspingly to his feet. For an instant it seemed as if his struggles torestrain himself would end in an apoplectic fit. Perhaps it was for thisreason that Jack Hamlin checked his own light laugh and became alertand grave. Yet the next moment Colonel Starbottle went as suddenly deadwhite, as leaning over the table he said huskily, but deliberately, "Imust request the ladies present to withdraw."
"Don't mind US, Colonel," said Judge Beeswinger, "it's all in the familyhere, you know! And now I look at the girl--hang it all! she DOES favoryou, old man. Ha! ha!"
"And as for the ladies," said Wynyard with a weak, vinous laugh, "unlessany of 'em is inclined to take the matter as PERSONAL--eh?"
"Stop!" roared the colonel.
There was no mistaking his voice nor his intent now. The two men,insulted and instantly sobered, were silent. Mr. Hamlin rose, playfullybut determinedly tapped his fair companions on the shoulders, saying,"Run away and play, girls," actually bundled them, giggling andprotesting, from the room, closed the door, and stood with his backagainst it. Then it was seen that the colonel, still very white, washolding the child by the hand, as she shrank back wonderingly and alittle frightened against him.
"I thank YOU, Mr. Hamlin," said the colonel in a lower voice--yet with aslight touch of his habitual stateliness in it, "for being here to bearwitness, in the presence of this child, to my unqualified statement thata more foul, vile, and iniquitous falsehood never was uttered than thatwhich has been poured into her innocent ears!" He paused, walked to thedoor, still holding her hand, and, as Mr. Hamlin stepped aside, openedit, told her to await him in the public parlor, closed the door again,and once more faced the two men. "And," he continued more deliberately,"for the infamous jests that you, Judge Beeswinger, and you, Mr.Wynyard, have dared to pass in her presence and mine, I shall expectfrom each of you the fullest satisfaction--personal satisfaction. Myseconds will wait on you in the morning!"
The two men stood up sobered--yet belligerent.
"As you like, sir," said Beeswinger, flashing.
"The sooner the better for me," added Wynyard curtly.
They passed the unruffled Jack Hamlin with a smile and a vaguelysignificant air, as if calling him as a witness to the colonel'smadness, and strode out of the room.
As the door closed behind them, Mr. Hamlin lightly settled his whitewaistcoat, and, with his hands on his hips, lounged towards the colonel."And THEN?" he said quietly.
"Eh?" said the colonel.
"After you've shot one or both of these men, or one of 'em has knockedyou out, what's to become of that child?"
"If--I am--er--spared, sir," said the colonel huskily, "I shall continueto defend her--against calumny and sneers"--
"In this style, eh? After her life has been made a hell by herassociation with a man of your reputation, you propose to whitewash itby a quarrel with a couple of drunken scallawags like Beeswinger andWynyard, in the presence of three painted trollops and a d----d scamplike myself! Do you suppose this won't be blown all over Californiabefore she can be sent back to school? Do you suppose those cacklinghussies in the next room won't give the whole story away to the next manwho stands treat?" (A fine contempt for the sex in general was one ofMr. Hamlin's most subtle attractions for them.)
"Nevertheless, sir," stammered the colonel, "the prompt punishment ofthe man who has dared"--
"Punishment!" interrupted Hamlin, "who's to punish the man who hasdared most? The one man who is responsible for the whole thing? Who's topunish YOU?"
"Mr. Hamlin--sir!" gasped the colonel, falling back, as his handinvoluntarily rose to the level of his waistcoat pocket and hisderringer.
But Mr. Hamlin only put down the wine glass he had lifted from the tableand was delicately twirling between his fingers, and looked fixedly atthe colonel.
"Look here," he said slowly. "When the boys said that you accepted theguardianship of that child NOT on account of Dick Stannard, but only asa bluff against the joke they'd set up at you, I didn't believe them!When these men and women to-night tumbled to that story of the childbeing YOURS, I didn't believe that! When it was said by others that youwere serious about making her your ward, and giving her your property,because you doted on her like a father, I didn't believe that."
"And--why not THAT?" said the colonel quickly, yet with an odd tremor inhis voice.
"Because," said Hamlin, becoming suddenly as grave as the colonel, "Icould not believe that any one who cared a picayune for the child couldundertake a trust that might bring her into contact with a life andcompany as rotten as ours. I could not believe that even the mostGod-forsaken, conceited fool would, for the sake of a little sentimentalparade and splurge among people outside his regular walk, allow theprospects of that child to be blasted. I couldn't believe it, even ifhe thought he was acting like a father. I didn't believe it--but I'mbeginning to believe it now!"
There was little to choose between the attitudes and expressions of thetwo set stern faces now regarding each other, silently, a foot apart.But the colonel was the first to speak:--
"Mr. Hamlin--sir! You said a moment ago that Iwas--er--ahem--responsible for this evening's affair--but youexpressed a doubt as to who could--er--punish me for it. I accept theresponsibility you have indicated, sir, and offer you that chance. Butas this matter between us must have precedence over--my engagements withthat canaille, I shall expect you with your seconds at sunrise on BurntRidge. Good-evening, sir."
With head erect the colonel left the room. Mr. Hamlin slightly shruggedhis shoulders, turned to the door of the room whither he had justbanished the ladies, and in a few minutes his voice was heardmelodiously among the gayest.
For all that he managed to get them away early. When he had bundled theminto a large carryall, and watched them drive away through the storm,he returned for a minute to the waiting room for his overcoat. He wassurprised to hear the sound of the child's voice in the supper room, andthe door being ajar, he could see quite distinctly that she was seatedat the table, with a plate full of sweets before her, while ColonelStarbottle, with his back to the door, was sitting opposite to her, hisshoulders slightly bowed as he eagerly watched her. It seemed to Mr.Hamlin that it was the close of an emotional interview, for Pansy'svoice was broken, partly by sobs, and partly, I grieve to say, by thehurried swallowing of the delicacies before her. Yet, above the beatingof the storm outside, he could hear her saying,--
"Yes! I promise to be good--(sob)--and to go with Mrs.Pyecroft--(sob)--and to try to like another guardian--(sob)--and not tocry any more--(sob)--and--oh, please, DON'T YOU DO IT EITHER!"
But here Mr. Hamlin slipped out of the room and out of the house, witha rather grave face. An hour later, when the colonel drove up to thePyecrofts' door with Pansy, he found tha
t Mr. Pyecroft was slightlyembarrassed, and a figure, which, in the darkness, seemed to resembleMr. Hamlin's, had just emerged from the door as he entered.
Yet the sun was not up on Burnt Ridge earlier than Mr. Hamlin. The stormof the night before had blown itself out; a few shreds of mist hungin the valleys from the Ridge, that lay above coldly reddening. Then abreeze swept over it, and out of the dissipating mist fringe Mr. Hamlinsaw two black figures, closely buttoned up like himself, emerge, whichhe recognized as Beeswinger and Wynyard, followed by their seconds.But the colonel came not, Hamlin joined the others in an animatedconfidential conversation, attended by a watchful outlook for themissing adversary. Five, ten minutes elapsed, and yet the usually promptcolonel was not there. Mr. Hamlin looked grave; Wynyard and Beeswingerexchanged interrogatory glances. Then a buggy was seen driving furiouslyup the grade, and from it leaped Colonel Starbottle, accompanied by DickMacKinstry, his second, carrying his pistol case. And then--strangelyenough for men who were waiting the coming of an antagonist who was adead shot--they drew a breath of relief!
MacKinstry slightly preceded his principal, and the others could seethat Starbottle, though erect, was walking slowly. They were surprisedalso to observe that he was haggard and hollow eyed, and seemed, in thefew hours that had elapsed since they last saw him, to have aged tenyears. MacKinstry, a tall Kentuckian, saluted, and was the first one tospeak.
"Colonel Starbottle," he said formally, "desires to express his regretsat this delay, which was unavoidable, as he was obliged to attendhis ward, who was leaving by the down coach for Sacramento with Mrs.Pyecroft, this morning." Hamlin, Wynyard, and Beeswinger exchangedglances. "Colonel Starbottle," continued MacKinstry, turning to hisprincipal, "desires to say a word to Mr. Hamlin."
As Mr. Hamlin would have advanced from the group, Colonel Starbottlelifted his hand deprecatingly. "What I have to say must be said beforethese gentlemen," he began slowly. "Mr. Hamlin--sir! when I solicitedthe honor of this meeting I was under a grievous misapprehension of theintent and purpose of your comments on my action last evening. Ithink," he added, slightly inflating his buttoned-up figure, "thatthe reputation I have always borne in--er--meetings of this kindwill prevent any--er--misunderstanding of my present action--which isto--er--ask permission to withdraw my challenge--and to humbly beg yourpardon."
The astonishment produced by this unexpected apology, and Mr. Hamlin'sprompt grasp of the colonel's hand, had scarcely passed before thecolonel drew himself up again, and turning to his second said, "And nowI am at the service of Judge Beeswinger and Mr. Wynyard--whichever mayelect to honor me first."
But the two men thus addressed looked for a moment strangely foolish andembarrassed. Yet the awkwardness was at last broken by Judge Beeswingerfrankly advancing towards the colonel with an outstretched hand. "Wecame here only to apologize, Colonel Starbottle. Without possessing yourreputation and experience in these matters, we still think we can claim,as you have, an equal exemption from any misunderstanding when wesay that we deeply regret our foolish and discourteous conduct lastevening."
A quick flush mounted to the colonel's haggard cheek as he drew backwith a suspicious glance at Hamlin.
"Mr. Hamlin!--gentlemen!--if this is--er--!"
But before he could finish his sentence Hamlin had clapped his handon the colonel's shoulder. "You'll take my word, colonel, that thesegentlemen honestly intended to apologize, and came here for thatpurpose;--and--SO DID I--only you anticipated me!"
In the laughter that followed Mr. Hamlin's frankness the colonel'sfeatures relaxed grimly, and he shook the hands of his late possibleantagonists.
"And now," said Mr. Hamlin gayly, "you'll all adjourn to breakfast withme--and try to make up for the supper we left unfinished last night."
It was the only allusion to that interruption and its consequences, forduring the breakfast the colonel said nothing in regard to his ward,and the other guests were discreetly reticent. But Mr. Hamlin was notsatisfied. He managed to get the colonel's servant, Jim, aside, andextracted from the negro that Colonel Starbottle had taken the childthat night to Pyecroft's; that he had had a long interview withPyecroft; had written letters and "walked de flo'" all night; that he(Jim) was glad the child was gone!
"Why?" asked Hamlin, with affected carelessness.
"She was just makin' de kernel like any o' de low-down No'th'nfolks--keerful, and stingy, and mighty 'fraid o' de opinions o' debiggety people. And fo' what? Jess to strut round wid dat child like hewas her 'spectable go to meeting fader!"
"And was the child sorry to leave him?" asked Hamlin.
"Wull--no, sah. De mighty curos thing, Marse Jack, about the gals--bigand little--is dey just USE de kernel--dat's all! Dey just use de oleman like a pole to bring down deir persimmons--see?"
But Mr. Hamlin did not smile.
Later it was known that Colonel Starbottle had resigned his guardianshipwith the consent of the court. Whether he ever again saw his late wardwas not known, nor if he remained loyal to his memories of her.
Readers of these chronicles may, however, remember that years after,when the colonel married the widow of a certain Mr. Tretherick, both inhis courtship and his short married life he was singularly indifferentto the childish graces of Carrie Tretherick, her beloved littledaughter, and that his obtuseness in that respect provoked the widow'sire.