Also by Jen Calonita
Flunked
Charmed
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Copyright © 2017 by Jen Calonita
Cover and internal design ©2017 by Sourcebooks, Inc.
Series design by Regina Flath
Cover image by Michael Heath/Shannon Associates
Sourcebooks and the colophon are registered trademarks of Sourcebooks, Inc.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems—except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews—without permission in writing from its publisher, Sourcebooks, Inc.
The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
Published by Sourcebooks Jabberwocky, an imprint of Sourcebooks, Inc.
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication data is on file with the publisher.
Contents
Front Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Back Cover
For Kellsie Marchbanks. Although we never had the chance to meet, you’ve inspired me in so many beautiful ways.
How do you out-trick a trickster?
Pegasus Postal Service
Flying Letters Since The Troll War!
FROM: Maxine Hockler (Great Oak Tree, Tailsmen Forest)
TO: Gillian Cobbler (2 Boot Way)
Hi, Gilly!
I’m sooo bored! My ogress friends have been thrown into Fairy Tale Reform School for typical ogre stuff, like storming castles and pretending to want to eat people. (We don’t do that. I swear.) So I’m stuck hanging with Mother and Father. Alva and Rose gave us ogres a bad rap, so my parents want to show how friendly we can be by helping lost travelers get to Enchantasia (most scream and run) and offering beverages to weary knights (who try to spear us). It’s exhausting. The only fun I have is staring at the jewels on the travelers. What I wouldn’t give to swipe a tiny onyx necklace. They wouldn’t even notice it was gone! That’s wrong…right?
I don’t know what to do with myself. I feel like I’m a spinning top that goes nowhere. Last night I was so upset that I told Mother: “I don’t want to live in the forest and be an old ogress like you! I want adventure!” She got mad and sent me to bed with one supper instead of the usual three.
What’s new with you? Does Jack of All Trades School still smell like leather? Is Anna still hanging out with those candy swipers? Maybe she should get an FTRS warning. I miss FTRS! The Pegasus flying lessons, the moving doorways that almost take your arm off, the Wand What You Want classes… I wish I could get thrown in again, but that’s wrong too…right?
Have you spoken to Jax? I saw him when his royal carriage was taking him and some fancy schmancy friends to the Pied Piper Rock Concert in Haddingford. He heard Rumpelstiltskin was spotted at FTRS. That’s got to be wrong…right? Miss you!
Your friend,
Maxine
CHAPTER 1
Shoes for Thought
“Who can tell me the five most popular types of shoe leather?”
Mr. Hide is standing on a step stool and pointing to an image of a leather boot on our magical blackboard. His green goblin fingernails tap the board lightly, and I feel my eyes begin to close. He taps louder.
“Surely someone knows.” Mr. Hide sounds bored. I’m not sure he likes Shoe Leathers 101 either. “This is on our quiz tomorrow.” Still no response.
I twirl my quill and stare at the students sitting near me in our tiny classroom that sits inside a massive pair of lace-up boots. Drawings of glass slippers and giant-sized slip-on shoes hang on the worn leather walls. The room has no windows and only one door, which never seals up and disappears like the ones at my old school.
“Anyone?” Mr. Hide tries again. A pixie in the back of the class sneezes. It’s so quiet I can hear the sewing machines whirring in the Find Your Shoe Style! class next door.
I stare up at the ceiling, where the top of the boot shows a view of the blue sky. A Pegasus flies overhead. I imagine it’s Macho, my favorite FTRS Pegasus, who spots me and swoops down to rescue me.
“I’m waiting!” Mr. Hide sings.
I stare at the image of the boot glowing on the magical chalkboard. The lace-up is a mirror image of my own beloved boots. Worn and faded, the boot looks like it has seen some action. It’s not shiny like the boots Mr. Hide is always telling us to strive to make.
The boot on the blackboard fades away, and I see Fairy Tale Reform School. The shining turrets, gray stone facade, and climbing ivy covering the walls are a welcome mirage. I imagine the grounds beyond the school, which lead to the darkened Hollow Woods where no student dares to go. I can practically see students magic-carpet racing and flying Pegasi. A pirate ship sails into my mind, and I watch it drop anchor in the lake where mer-folk lounge on rocks. Blackbeard comes racing off the ship and—“Ow!”
I look down at my desk and see the small peppermint candy that just hit me in the back of the head. I quickly spin around and glare at the students behind me. The kids in the back row look like they’ve swallowed a gingerbread man whole. Smug Hansel, with his weasel-like smile and jet-black hair, is sucking on a lollipop. His mischievous sister, Gretel, is twirling her long, black braids, which are tied with pieces of licorice. Hansel and Gretel always look like they’ve had a fight with a chocolate fountain. Both have stains around their lips from too many sweets, and spots of chocolate, flour, and other bakery-related messes mark their simple peasant clothing. Gretel looks right at me as she tosses a second peppermint to her new partner in crime—my younger sister Anna.
“Gillian, how nice of you to speak up!” Mr. Hide says. “Can you tell the class the five types of popular leather?” Hansel and Gretel snicker.
Sticky buns. “Waxy, patent, metallic, oily, and suede,” I say.
Mr. Hide beams; his green-hued skin and large ears make him look devilish. “You will make a fine cobbler, Miss Cobbler.” He pulls something out of his shoe box–shaped desk. “I believe Gillian deserves our Golden Slipper award this week.” I cringe as he plunks the heavy gold shoe on my desk. The thing weighs more than ten schoolbags. Mr. Hide thinks his prize is something we strive for. Instead, it’s become everyone’s goal not to have to drag the thing home.
Hansel jumps up on his desk. “Three
cheers for the hero of the hour: Gilly!” The class laughs, but Mr. Hide says nothing. Hansel and his sister are known throughout the village for plucking candy from sleeping babies and pilfering rolls from the bakery. Everyone is a bit scared of them. Except me.
Well, and Anna, who likes the pair for some crazy reason.
An off-key trumpet signals the end of our school day. Hansel and Gretel are the first ones out the door, dragging my sister along with them. She looks back at me for a second, her cheeks candy-apple red, then takes off. I shake my head and place the heavy Golden Slipper into my backpack. I’ll have to drag it with me to work.
Out in the village, the air is cool and crisp, and Enchantasia is alive with shoppers. Teakettle houses whistle to announce the arrival of kids getting home from school, while large boots unlace to let homeowners pass through their doors. A tea shop made of teacups and saucers wobbles perilously as a large group enters, and a giant fish tank gurgles excitedly as mer-folk pop up among the reeds. I can hear hammering at Mother Goose’s Nursery School, which is being rebuilt, and at the three little pigs’ places. They’ve wisely chosen to construct their houses out of brick this time around. The village square and the market are packed with Pegasi bringing packages and shoppers on errands. I watch a porter with his arms full of bags trail a group of girls in Royal Academy uniforms.
Jax. If Royal Academy kids are in the village, maybe he’s here too. We’ve traded Pegasus Posts a few times, but I haven’t seen him since we left school. His last post said something about getting back into FTRS, but who are we kidding? We all got the same exit parchments. Once you’ve learned how to be “good” at FTRS, you can’t reenroll. They only take kids on the path to becoming villains. We reformed types have to seek school elsewhere. I tried explaining that to Maxine in one of our posts, but she’s determined to find a loophole.
I step out of the way as a group of students rush to Gnome-olia Bakery. We collectively duck as a magic-carpet student driver comes dangerously close to clipping one of the pushcarts selling caramel cakes.
“Hey, Gilly! Want to go to Pinocchio’s?” asks a girl from my Soles: Why We Need Them class as others run ahead to the large shop that looks like a marionette stand.
“Sorry. I have to work,” I say. Not that I want to go to Pinocchio’s Puppet Theatre or Red’s Ready for Anything shop. Kids at lunch were talking about Red’s new protection charm kit and the red capes she sells. Supposedly the capes keep the wearer safe from all harm. For the love of Grimm. A cape couldn’t have stopped Alva, the wicked fairy who menaced this village and Fairy Tale Reform School for months.
The girl shrugs. “Have fun making shoes!”
Shoes. That’s what I should be thinking about. Not my former school. But I can’t help myself. My eyes look to the hills beyond statuesque Royal Manor (where our ruling princesses, Ella, Snow, and Rapunzel, live, along with Rose, when she isn’t in princess detention) and search for the turrets of Fairy Tale Reform School. What are they doing right this minute? I have no clue. Headmistress Flora has never checked in with me. My favorite professor, Wolfington, has been MIA as well. Kayla sent a post about Rumpelstiltskin being spotted on the grounds, but nothing since. Has my roommate forgotten about me too?
“Give it back!” I hear a small voice cry. “That’s mine!”
My ears perk up, my heart races, and I glance around the crowded square to see who is in trouble. That’s when I spot the darkened alley between Geppetto’s Pet Store and Thumbelina’s Children’s Warehouse. I see a boy trying to grab a bag that says “Sweets” back from laughing Hansel and Gretel. Candy hoarders.
Wait. Is Anna with them too? I run toward them.
Hansel swings the bag over the kid’s head with a lazy flick of his wrist. “What’s in here? Sticky buns? Cinnamon rolls?”
“No,” I hear the kid say in a wobbly voice. “It’s peppermints for my mum’s birthday.”
“Eww! Peppermints?” Gretel asks in a whiny voice that makes the fairy pets on our block howl. “Toss them,” she instructs her brother.
Before I can reach him, Hansel flips the bag over and candy rains down on the kid. Hansel and Gretel stomp on every piece while Anna watches. The kid starts to cry.
“Hey, Candy Thugs!” I shout. “Leave the kid alone.” I snatch the bag back from a startled Hansel. I’m taller than him by an inch, even if we are the same age. “Magical Scroll flash! If you want sweets, you buy them.” I glance at Anna, who looks away. Wait ’til I get her alone.
Hansel rolls his eyes. “Because that’s what you always did when you wanted something, Gilly? You paid for it?” My cheeks color and Gretel laughs.
“No, and that’s how I wound up in FTRS,” I remind him. Just the name of my old school makes Gretel shudder. Or she might be gagging. She is sucking on a piece of candy she just picked up off the ground. Gross. “Now pay this kid for the sweets you ruined.” Hansel and Gretel just look at me. “You’ve got the dough. Everyone knows you knocked over that Sprinkles Tasty Cakes cart.”
“You can’t prove that was us,” Gretel says worriedly.
“Let’s see…” I scratch my chin. “They found candy wrappers on the ground next to the cart, and a pair of almost identically sized flour handprints on the money box. You also had Sprinkles Tasty Cakes for lunch today.” Gretel pales and looks at Anna. “Now pay up, or I tell my buddy Pete at the Dwarf Police Squad.”
Hansel sighs. “Pay her.” Gretel produces a small bag of change from one of her chocolate-stained pockets. She tosses it to the boy.
The boy smiles at me. “Thanks. Hey, aren’t you Gilly Cobbler?” I catch Anna rolling her eyes. “You’re a hero!”
“Was a hero,” I say quickly. “Now go on home before these guys start with you again.”
The kid runs off.
“Happy, hero?” Gretel taunts.
I smile with satisfaction. “Very.” Hansel and Gretel begin to skulk away, and I grab my sister by the back of her coat.
“Gilly!” Anna cries. Gretel turns briefly, then takes off. “Let me go! I’ve got to catch up with my friends!”
“Friends? That’s what you call those guys?” I ask. “They’re stealing candy from kids who are the same age as your brothers! They’re trouble, Anna.”
Anna shrugs out of my grasp. “They’re fun.” I laugh. “They are! Not everyone has had the exciting life you’ve had the last few months. Enchantasia Village is the same day after boring day.” She glares at me. “I want excitement.”
Anna was so sweet before I went away to FTRS. What happened to her?
“You are doing something exciting,” I say as if reciting a speech I’ve given myself more than once. “With Father’s business doing so well, we get to do a lot of things we never did before. Like have three meals a day and wear new clothes.”
“Who cares about dresses if you have nowhere to wear them?” Anna scoffs.
True. “There’s the Shoemakers’ Ball,” I say, but even the name sounds dull. I sigh. “Look, we’re Cobblers. This is what we do—make shoes!”
“Well, maybe I don’t want to be a Cobbler,” she says, and I can’t help but wonder if she means that in more ways than one. Before I can ask her, Anna takes off, dodging an apple cart and a large carriage shaped like a pumpkin. I let her go. I know better than to start with Anna when she’s angry.
I watch the carriage turn down Boot Way. Only one class of people travels by pumpkin coach—royalty. My pace quickens as I strain to read the words written on the side of the coach: Rapunzel’s Hair Care—For the Royal in All of Us!
Rapunzel? If she’s here, then that could mean…
“Jax,” I whisper to myself with a smile.
Then I sprint to the shop to see if my friend is waiting for me.
CHAPTER 2
Catch Me If You Can
“Jax!”
I fly through the front door of the s
hop, sending a rack of finished shoe boxes tumbling like dominos. Shoe polish containers burst open as they fall on top of a stack of leather hides. A guard in a gold-and-royal-blue uniform aims his sword at my chin.
“State your purpose,” the guard says gruffly while my father looks on in horror.
“At ease, gentlemen,” I hear a woman say. “This is a friend, not a foe.”
Rapunzel appears from behind Father’s shoe counter and ducks to avoid hitting a rack of boots that are being stretched on a rod above her head. Her voice is velvety, like the pale-pink dress she’s wearing. There is no poof to her skirt, no tulle on her gown, and no jewels are sewn into her bodice. Rapunzel is a princess who prefers understatement over frills. She’s kind of normal, which I never thought I’d say about a princess. Instead of waiting for me to curtsy, she pulls me in for a hug.
“It’s good to see you,” she says. “It’s been too long.”
“Two months,” I say, thinking of the last time I saw her—when Jax, Ollie, Maxine, and I were sent home from Fairy Tale Reform School after receiving our pardons. I put on my stained brown apron that says “Cobbler Shoes,” pick up the broken polish containers, and toss them in the trash. Brown ink stains my hands, and I wipe them on my apron. The ink doesn’t come off. Typical. “Actually, two months, three days, six hours, and two minutes.” Father does a double take. “Not that I’m counting.”
“Of course. Why would anyone count the days they’ve been out of FTRS?” Rapunzel says, and I detect the humor in her tone. It reminds me so much of Jax. All of Enchantasia now knows the two are siblings and that they worked together, with my friends’ help, to save the kingdom from Alva. Order has been restored to the kingdom. We’re no longer being terrorized by winged gargoyles (they’re all locked up) or Alva (she’s been turned to stone and is on display in the dungeons of FTRS). Life is back to normal. Simple, peaceful, boring normal.
Did I say boring? I meant…boring. Sigh.