She looked away and wished a hole would open up under her so she could disappear. He had her pinned on his bed between his hand beside her hip, the headboard behind her, and his body blocking her exit off the side.
“Jeanie?”
The sharp growl startled her and she jerked her gaze back to stare into his face. He appeared a little angry. “What?”
“I want answers and you’re the only one who can give them to me. Don’t play human games. Be direct. Why did I smell arousal on you when we were near each other?”
The urge to touch him became so strong she fisted her hand to stop herself from following through with the action. So many horrible things had been done to him in his lifetime that she figured he deserved answers to any questions he asked. Even if they happened to be uncomfortable and embarrassing for her.
“I won’t hurt you.”
“I believe that. It’s just that I didn’t expect this conversation.” She stalled, feeling a tiny bit of guilt. “It’s not an easy topic, you know?”
“Answer me,” he demanded, softening his tone.
“I was always attracted to you,” she admitted, lowering her gaze to his neck. It made admitting her secrets a little easier. “We weren’t able to spend a lot of time together but I just felt this pull toward you. It didn’t make much sense but that’s how I felt.”
“You wanted me to touch you?”
She nodded, lowering her chin but then turned her head away since it left her staring at his nipples. “Yes.”
“Did you feel the same attraction with other Species males?”
“No! It was just you.” She lifted her head, holding his gaze.
“Why me? I need to know.”
“Oh hell.” She was embarrassed. “You really want to discuss this?”
“I do.”
“I just liked you. You’re attractive, True. You didn’t frighten me by snarling or snapping when I had to collect blood. I just…liked you.”
“But you don’t anymore? I’m not frightening you. I don’t smell fear.”
“Oh wow.” She closed her eyes, realizing he wasn’t going to let the subject go until she’d completely humiliated herself to appease his curiosity. She was sure he didn’t understand how difficult it had been on her to be attracted to a man who’d been in that nightmare situation. There just seemed something so wrong about it, a bit perverse even.
“Jeanie?”
He’d lost his patience, gauging by his irritated growl. She opened her eyes to stare at him miserably. “What do you want from me, 710? An apology? I have beaten myself up so many times it’s not funny. I’m completely ashamed of myself for how I responded to you.”
He drew back, his mouth pressing into a firm line. “My name is True.”
“Sorry. I’m just used to thinking about you by number.”
“It shames you to have been attracted to me?” His voice deepened and he seemed angry. “To an animal?”
“You’re not that.” She stopped and gently placed her hand on the front of his chest between his nipples, to avoid touching them. He was really warm, his skin silky soft with a solid mass of muscle behind it. It took willpower just to leave it there instead of exploring more of him. She’d love to surf her palm over the waves of abdominal muscles protruding from the otherwise flat surface of his stomach.
“You were locked inside that hellish place and it was just wrong on so many levels to be attracted to you there. Not because of your genetics but because you’d been victimized enough.”
His gaze narrowed. “I no longer smell arousal from you. Why is that?”
He apparently found it somehow insulting that she didn’t show any physical signs that she still found him sexy. Her tense body relaxed as she took a few settling breaths. As much as she saw him as a person, there were major differences between Species and humans. She needed to remember that if she let down her guard. Any embarrassment caused by allowing him to know how he affected her dimmed in comparison to causing him to feel as if she viewed him as less than anything purely remarkable.
She breathed through her nose, loving how he smelled. She studied his firm lips. They were generously full, a Species trait that she’d fantasized about often. Just thinking about what it would feel like to brush her mouth against his caused a flutter in her belly and her nipples hardened. She examined his eyes next. That shade of brown had become her favorite color after meeting him. Everything about him was fascinating.
His nostrils flared and she studied his nose. It was wider than a human’s, a little flatter, and perfectly matched his other features. Slight wrinkles crinkled the top sides of it as he sniffed, a cute sight. He had strong cheekbones, a square chin, and everything about him seemed as masculine as a man could be in her opinion. There was nothing boyish about that face. To label him handsome seemed an understatement. Some people thought New Species looked a bit too harsh but she didn’t agree.
“I’ve been trying to fight how I feel when you’re near me, True.” She was proud she’d said his new name. It was something she’d have to keep repeating inside her head so she wouldn’t accidently call him 710. “I’m not now. How do I smell?”
The low growl that rumbled from him and the slight vibrations under her hand were sexy but a bit scary at the same time. She wasn’t sure if it was caused by anger but quickly dismissed that when he leaned in closer. She didn’t see that in his eyes as she studied them but whatever he felt looked pretty intense.
Jeanie wondered if he would kiss her. He cocked his head to one side and sniffed her neck instead. Goose bumps of the good kind broke out over her arms as his warm breath teased the sensitive skin under her ear. A TV special she’d watched on a cable station flashed through her mind. She tilted her face away to give him free access to her throat to acknowledge his dominance, the way she’d seen wolves do. He could bite, his sharp fanglike canines a real threat if he planned to draw blood.
True had exhibited some traits at Drackwood that were reminiscent of the male wolf featured in the animal-behavior show. The gracefulness of his movements were similar to those proud creatures, he tended to growl and snarl to express his feelings, and watched everything around him with a keen wariness. He might be a human being but she’d be a fool to forget his other heritage. Jeanie gave him her absolute trust by releasing all fear.
He’s not going to hurt me. He could have when we were inside his cell but he never did. Relax. Breathe. God, did he just lick me?
The wet, hot tongue flicked her skin so fast she wasn’t sure if it really happened. Another low growl sounded from him. She wanted to look at him, see his expression, but didn’t want him to stop whatever he was doing. Her thumb moved, stroking his silky skin. He pressed his chest more firmly against her hand, seeming to encourage her to continue. She braved inching her palm higher and the pad of her thumb made contact with his taut nipple as it brushed over the tip. She hesitated when he sucked in a sharp breath.
“Jeanie.”
Her breathing increased at how husky his voice sounded. “Yes?” She could barely whisper.
“Go lock yourself in the bathroom.”
That was the last thing she expected him to say with them nearly pressed against each other on his bed while sitting upright. He didn’t move away, didn’t remove his arms from either side of her, keeping her trapped between his body and the headboard. Her heart rate increased but she wasn’t afraid. Him wanting to put a door between them indicated she was in some kind of danger but she didn’t believe that.
“Why?”
The tip of his nose brushed her throat. “Go.”
She’d have to shove back against the headboard and wiggle away from him through the opening between his flattened hand on the mattress next to her thigh and the top of the bed to accomplish that feat.
“True? Why?”
He slowly lifted his head and she met his gaze. The brown of his eyes appeared darker but it might have been because his pupils were larger than normal. “I want you.”
>
Her lips parted but no words came forth. She wasn’t exactly surprised by that announcement after the conversation they’d had. It did explain why he had been so adamant to find out why she’d responded to him the way she had in the past. He’d just admitted the attraction was mutual. That’s a good thing, right? One glance at his stern expression cast doubt. She struggled to find the right way to ask him what was wrong with being attracted to her.
“I’ll take you if you don’t get away from me right now.”
Take me where? Oh! He means sex. He’ll take me as in…holy shit! He means it. Images of him leaning into her and pushing her flat filled her thoughts. It didn’t send her into a panic to get away. She’d wanted True for what seemed like forever. He was right there in front of her and she’d mourned his loss after he’d been freed from Drackwood, certain she’d never see him again. A lot of lonely nights and dreams about him had left her with a ton of regrets. She’d have given a lot just to have had five minutes alone with him.
We’re in his room. No cameras. No guards to rush inside this room to hurt either of us for breaking any rules now. There are no rules. The only thing that stopped her from asking him to kiss her was the next thought that popped into her head. This is just going to be sex to him and nothing more.
He abruptly rolled off the bed, putting space between them. He faced the wall by the door, his hands fisted at his sides. “Go into the bathroom. Shower. You need to wash away that scent right now.”
She didn’t budge. He’d snarled the words but she’d understood each one. Part of her wanted to flee to the next room and lock the door the way he’d suggested. It would be smarter and safer where her heart was concerned if she never knew his touch. I can’t miss what I’ve never had, her logical side stated. Of course, that’s bullshit, another part of her protested. It will just be one more regret to add to a long list if I run away from this opportunity.
His fingers flexed. “Did you hear me? Get away, Jeanie.”
She moved, getting to her knees. The mattress was big and a little firmer than she liked but it was his bed. “True?”
He snapped his head in her direction. It was impossible to ignore the way his lips parted and those sharp canines were revealed in a silent snarl. He looked pissed but instinct assured her that wasn’t the emotion behind his fighting stance. Frustration could also drive any man into wanting to punch holes in a wall.
This is it. No turning back once you open your mouth. Speak now or hate myself later for being a coward who chickened out on doing the one thing I’ve wanted most. I always said I’d pay any price to get to be with him even one time. “Come here.” She lifted her hand, ignored that it trembled a little, and reached toward him.
He slowly turned around and took a step closer, then another, as if drawn to her by some magnetic pull he couldn’t deny. She glanced up and down his body as he walked over. True was one big man with his towering height and bulky muscles. A little uncertainty struck when she considered that she knew very little about how New Species actually had sex. Some of the employees she’d worked with had hinted that the males took females doggy style and were rough. He had human parts though, probably bigger than average too. He’d have to be careful or he might break her.
True approached Jeanie with trepidation. She didn’t understand that he was very close to losing his control or that she was agreeing to share sex. He broke out in a sweat at the prospect of actually getting her naked and under him. He paused, studying her kneeling in the middle of his bed. She looked so human and small. Fragile.
She made a strange sound and he jerked his focus to her face. He noticed the way her lips curved upward at the corners. It was a sign of amusement.
“What is funny?”
“Nothing.” She spoke so softly that he had to strain to make sure he heard her correctly.
He didn’t believe her. “You smiled. Why?”
“Um…” She licked her lips. “I just realized that you can actually do what most men only joke about.”
“I don’t understand.”
Her expression sobered. “It’s nothing. Come here.” She wiggled her fingers, implying he should clasp her hand.
He didn’t budge. “What can I do that other males make humor over?”
Jeanie bit her lower lip. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Don’t play human games.” It frustrated him that she always avoided his questions or dismissed them. A Species female wouldn’t.
“You can break me.”
He didn’t see fear in her eyes or smell it when he sniffed the air. The very sweet smell of her had changed into something more tempting. No matter how powerful a male was, he could be brought to his knees by the scent of arousal that strong pulsing off a female, especially one True wanted as badly as he did Jeanie. His gaze lowered to the bottom of the shirt she’d borrowed. It hid the sight of her legs. That thin barrier was the only reason he hadn’t lunged at her and put his mouth between her thighs to discover if she tasted as good as she smelled. His protective feelings for her also held him in check. She’d just stated she was worried he’d cause her harm.
“I won’t damage you.” He couldn’t hide the insult over his word being questioned. Everything inside him felt hardwired to protect her but he refused to reveal the weakness. “I promised I wouldn’t.”
Her outstretched hand dropped to flatten over her lower belly. “That’s not what I meant.”
“You believe I’ll snap your neck or back.” His breath caught from the feel of her hand on his bare skin. “To break someone implies that.”
“No.” Her cheeks turned a pinker shade. “Not in this case. It’s a human saying.” She spoke in rushed words. “Men boast about being able to break a woman when they have sex. It’s, um, not about really breaking anything on them. Oh hell. Please forget I said anything. It was a bad joke but I’m nervous. I tend to babble when I am.”
His irritation faded. “Why?”
“I don’t know. I’ve always done it.”
He took another step closer, being clearer with his question. “Why stay in my bed if you’re unsure of whether you wish to be touched?”
“I want you.” She chewed on her lower lip again.
The gesture was something he noticed she had done more than a few times and mentally made note of. It was a way to read her emotions when she felt uncertain of a situation.
“I’m not convinced.” He hated admitting that. At this point he was willing to overlook almost anything to ease the pain in his groin. His dick was engorged and trapped in an awkward position inside his pants. Before this moment, he would have just taken the female in front of him at her word, but Jeanie was different. She didn’t know that once he started, nothing would stop him from owning her in every way possible. He was strong willed but not when it came to her.
His desire for her overwhelmed him, causing a dose of fear to course through him. His instincts would take over at the first taste. He fought the haze of lust, reminding himself what would happen if he couldn’t stop if she asked. Surprisingly, the core demand to protect her from anything, even himself, helped dull the pounding need to pounce.
“I’ve never done this before. That’s why I’m nervous but I do want you, True. I swear.”
“You’ve never shared sex?” He stumbled back in horror, nearly tripping over his own feet. That would explain how she’d been certain her body hadn’t been used in actual breeding experiments. She’d said she hadn’t dated for a long time before being given the drug. Humans weren’t as straightforward about sexuality as Species. He’d been told it caused a female pain the first time a male mounted her. Jeanie would bleed and probably shed lots of tears. His dick softened. He couldn’t do that to her. He wouldn’t.
“I have.” Her gaze dropped.
“You’re lying.”
She looked back at him. “I’m not a virgin. I meant I haven’t ever been in this situation before.” She reached out to him again. “But I want to be because I’m with y
ou.”
True knew he should turn around and leave the bedroom. The two of them sharing sex was a bad idea. He just couldn’t resist her. His feet didn’t move away from her but instead he drew closer. “It’s because I’m Species,” he guessed.
“No. That doesn’t matter to me. I’ve never had sex with a guy unless we had a long-term relationship first. You know, gone on a lot of dates and spent a few months of getting to know everything about each other first.”
Unanswered questions bombarded him. Why would she make an exception for him if she needed to spend that kind of time with a male before sharing sex? Was it a human requirement? He decided to wait on figuring out that mystery. Jeanie was willing and in his bed. That was the bottom line.
He stopped by the edge of the bed and gently took her offered hand. She was soft and delicate. Her scent filled his nose, making him hard all over again. He didn’t want to talk anymore but they needed to exchange a few more words. He forced himself to speak as he stared deeply into her eyes.
“I make noises humans don’t but I’ll be gentle and go slow.” He already knew it was going to be the toughest thing he’d ever done. It was difficult to use the head on his shoulders when the lower one demanded freedom from his pants but it was important Jeanie didn’t become frightened by the unexpected. “I’ll even mount you facing me. I know humans enjoy eye contact. I’ve seen a few videos with humans sharing sex and I’ll try to do what they would.”
Jeanie reached up with her free hand and gripped his shoulder. She used it to pull herself to her feet and stand on his bed. True lifted his chin to continue looking into her eyes. She jerked slightly on their clasped hands and he released hers.
The feel of her fingers caressing both sides of his jawline was heaven when she did it. Her touch was featherlight and hesitant but felt amazing. She leaned in closer, her focus on his lips. “Now you’re the nervous one babbling. I’m not afraid and I know exactly what you are, True. Forget whatever you’ve seen humans do in videos. I hate those things and they rarely show anything I’d want done to me. I won’t mind you being more gentle than normal though. You’re really strong and I already have enough bruises.”