Chapter 2
Sarah sat in a very uncomfortable wooden straight back chair in the office of the Chief of Police. She hadn’t moved since the paramedic had led her to it a short time earlier. Once her heart quit racing and she started to feel a little more normal, she took the time to glance around her surroundings. Standing up, she paced around the small office. She didn’t know how Chief Warner could stand to work in such a gloomy room. The walls were covered in a dark paneling and there were no windows to provide any natural light - which could explain the dead looking plant in the corner. The only decorations were some framed plaques and awards hanging on the walls, and a multitude of manila folders and paperwork spread across the Chief’s desk.
Sitting back down in the wooden chair, she gazed unseeing out the open door toward the main part of the squad room. The nice paramedic who had brought her here had checked her pulse and her blood pressure, shone a flashlight into her eyes, and brought her a cup of coffee which still sat untouched on the table next to her. Phones were ringing and she could hear voices talking out in the main part of the police station, so she knew there were other people there in the building with her.
But she had never felt more alone.
Maybe she was in shock. What did it feel like to be in shock? She didn’t know and didn’t know anyone who had ever been in shock. It felt like there was a tremendous weight on her chest, and she couldn’t seem to stop the tears that continued to fall from her eyes.
She didn’t know what to do – or where to go. Shouldn’t she be doing…something? Shaking her head, she tried to think clearly, but it didn’t seem to help.
The paramedic, who had introduced himself as Chuck – or maybe it was Chad -- had been very kind to her. After making sure she was going to be okay, he had left to go back to the scene of the fire. He reiterated that she was to stay in the office until the Police Chief returned. She didn’t know how much longer that was going to be, but she kept feeling like she should be doing something to help…someone. Then she remembered there was no one to help.
How was it possible that all her co-workers were dead? She had been with them just this morning. They had been working at their jobs and talking about the previous weekend’s activities. It was just a regular morning. How could something like this happen on such a normal day? Sarah took off her wire rimmed glasses and wiped her wet eyes with the heels of her hands again. She couldn’t seem to stop crying. Somehow though, she needed to get control of her emotions and think.
God, how could you have let this happen?
Praying wasn’t going to help her. At one time, many years earlier, she had a loving relationship with God. She had believed that He really cared about what happened to her. But after her parents’ deaths, she had made the decision that she had been wrong. God didn’t care about Sarah Masters at all. Otherwise He wouldn’t have taken away the only family she had in the whole world. There wasn’t any reason for her to believe that had changed – especially after what had happened today.
As she heard footsteps coming down the hallway toward the office door, she raised her head to face what came next. Sarah stood up as Stan Warner, the Chief of Police, entered his office. She was somewhat acquainted with Stan – mostly because he had come into Brown and Associates several times over the years, especially during reelection years. She knew he was a man in his mid-fifties, although Sarah always thought with his full head of white hair, he looked more like he was seventy. The paunch of his stomach spoke of his not being health conscious, and the years on the job hadn’t been kind to his face which showed the wrinkles of many late hours. She couldn’t help but notice that today he looked even older than normal.
“Stan, what happened? How did the fire start? I was only gone an hour. How could this have happened?” Sarah knew she was beginning to lose control again as she pelted the Chief with her questions.
“Sarah, please, sit back down.” His large hands firmly pushed on her shoulders until she sat in the chair she had recently vacated. She watched him slowly walk around the desk to sit in his chair, running his right hand through his gray hair while he exhaled a deep breath. It was obvious to her that what he had seen today had also shaken him.
“We aren’t really sure what happened yet. Witnesses said there were two explosions - a small explosion and then a bigger one - then the fire. Whatever happened, it happened so fast no one had time to exit the building. We’re suspecting a gas leak caused the explosion.”
Sarah dropped her head into her hands and struggled to get control of her emotions. She had sobbed and cried enough, but she couldn’t seem to stop.
She looked back up at Stan. “I can’t believe this happened, Stan.” Her throat was so tight, she was having trouble swallowing and her voice sounded to her own ears like it belonged to someone else.
Stan swallowed hard and she caught his faint nod. “Trust me, Sarah. I understand what you’re feeling. Those people were all my friends too.”
There was a moment of silence while they both struggled with emotions. “We won’t know for sure until we process the scene, but a gas leak explosion is our first assessment of the situation. The Fire Marshall and some others will be here in the morning to check it out.”
She watched him run his hand through his hair again. “Look, Sarah. I need to ask you some questions about what happened this morning at Brown and Associates. I know it’s going to be tough, but you’re the only one that can help us recreate what happened today. Do you think you can handle it?”
Sarah looked across the desk at the older man. No matter how difficult it would be for both of them, she knew he still had a job to do. There had been a disaster in his town on his watch and he was responsible for finding out what happened.
She took a shaky breath and nodded. “I don’t know how much help I’ll be, but I’ll try.”
Stan asked her to review her morning with him. Sarah went through her whole morning, starting with getting to the office and then telling about her normal routine of opening and sorting the mail. There had been four clients with appointments who had come into the office throughout the morning to meet with the attorneys. She gave him their names, knowing none of them were strangers to him. They all were familiar townspeople. Living in a small town such as Herbert, everyone seemed to know everyone else.
When Sarah got to the point where she was telling Stan why Margie, the young secretary who worked with her in the office, had taken the early lunch hour instead of Sarah, she thought she was going to lose it again. Margie was her best friend, and Sarah was supposed to be maid of honor in her upcoming wedding. Now there would be no wedding. She closed her eyes and tried to gather her thoughts before she continued.
“Margie had a dentist appointment so we switched lunch hours. That’s the only reason I was gone from the office when I was. I should have been there and Margie should have been at lunch.” Sarah swallowed back the tears. She couldn’t seem to help the thoughts that raced through her mind. She should have been the one to have died in the explosion, not Margie. Margie had everything to live for - a loving boyfriend and a wonderful future ahead of her.
“Nothing out of the usual happened this morning that you can think of?” Stan’s question brought her back to the present.
Sarah shook her head. “The serviceman from the security company was there for his annual review of the alarm system; but it was Jerry, the regular guy. Then a guy from the gas company stopped in to check on something. But I know there couldn’t have been a gas leak, Stan. I would have been able to smell it. That rotten egg smell gives me terrible headaches, and there was no smell like that. I’m positive. I would remember.”
She watched Stan scratch in a notepad again. Then he looked up at her. “We can check out both of those guys with the security company and the gas company. Can you think of anything else, Sarah?”
After thinking for a moment, she shook her head.
&nb
sp; The whole experience felt like she was watching someone else’s life play out in front of her. It didn’t seem real. How could such a beautiful day have turned into this nightmare?
Stan sat quietly behind his desk for a moment, leaning back in his chair. He seemed to be studying her.
“Did Adam Brown mention anything to you recently about getting a death threat?”
Sarah stared at the Police Chief in shock. What was he talking about?
“A death threat? No, that’s crazy! Why in the world would anybody threaten Adam?”
Stan leaned one of his elbows on his desk and spent some time writing down more notes, then looked up at her again as if he’d just remembered she was still sitting there.
“Look Sarah, why don’t you go home? You’ve answered all the questions I can think of right now, and you’ve had a rough day. You look like you’re about ready to drop.”
Sarah wanted to ask him more questions about this death threat he had mentioned, but exhaustion from the stress of the day swept over her. She saw the look of concern on his face and realized she must look a fright with her make-up and mascara running down her face. But what her face didn’t show was the way she felt inside. She felt totally and completely lost. The grief and sorrow she went through when she lost her parents was the only feeling she could think of that even came close to this.
“Do you have some family you can go stay with – or a friend you could call? I don’t really want you to be alone tonight, not after what you’ve been through today,” Stan said.
She quickly shook her head. “No family. And all my friends…” She swallowed hard, trying to hold back the tears. She had almost told him the truth -- her only real friends had been in that building when it exploded.
“I’ll be okay – really.” She stood up.
She wanted to go home.
“You’ll let me know what you find out though. Right, Stan?”
He nodded. “Of course.” He reached across the desk and shook her hand, his eyes kind as he looked at her. “Thank you again for your help, Sarah. And I’m sorry for the loss of your friends. I’ll have one of my deputies escort you to your car. Please give me a call if you think of anything else, okay?”
She numbly nodded her head and followed Stan through the open squad room. Several uniformed officers sat behind desks, either typing away on computer keyboards or talking on the phone. It seemed to Sarah that they all stopped what they were doing and looked up and watched as she walked through their area with the Chief at her side. The Police Station was housed in an old two-story building in the center of the downtown area of Herbert. She had never been in the police department building before today – and she kind of hoped she would have no reason to return. But she was pretty sure that the smell of this musty old building would always be a part of her memory of this day.
Home was a small one-story cottage in a quiet neighborhood at the edge of Herbert. Sarah wasn’t able to purchase a house on her small salary, so she had been excited to find this house to rent four years earlier. With its two bedrooms, a small living room and dining room, kitchen, and a tiny laundry room off the kitchen, it was small - but perfect for her. It had such a charming presence with a covered front porch, small yard and white picket fence out front. Her landlord kept the wood siding on the house and trim on the front porch painted a bright clean white, and the shutters at the windows painted a country blue. Sarah worked hard to keep the weeds out of the flowers she had planted inside the fenced in front yard. Every summer she hung lush green ferns from the porch roof over the railing and filled the flower boxes under the windows with red geraniums, blue lobelia, and white sweet alyssum. She loved sitting on the front porch and watching the neighbors around her.
It was a cute little house, but those blue wooden shutters on the double hung windows were what had initially drawn her to the place. The shutters had cutouts of little hearts which made the house look like a romantic cottage. Too bad she had never been able to find a man to share the cute little house with. She had already had her experience with the wrong man, so she wasn’t in a big hurry to find another one right away. As she had often heard her mother say during Sarah’s teen years, ‘It’s better to be alone than with the wrong man.’ After her experience with her last boyfriend, Sarah was taking that advice to heart.
Over the years Sarah had filled the little house with her few pieces of furniture, adding to her collection with garage sale and flea market finds. Photos of her deceased parents and grandparents graced the off-white walls, and bookshelves full of her favorite romance novels sat in a corner. The rooms were small, but it was her haven and she loved it. Sarah took a great deal of pride in how she had made the little house all hers, and was hoping someday to be able to talk the owner into letting her buy it from him instead of just renting it. It had been his elderly mother’s home though, and so far Sarah hadn’t been able to convince him to part with it.
She headed home in her car, the shock of what had transpired since she had parked the car on the streets of Herbert only a few hours earlier coursing through her. Even now, it didn’t seem real to her. Maybe it would feel more real tomorrow or the day after. Maybe. Right now though, she just wanted to go home to her little house and crawl into bed and forget everything that had happened.
Sarah pulled her car into the little one-car attached garage and reached up to push the button on the visor to close the automatic garage door. She entered her house through the door in the garage which took her directly into her kitchen. Her little Yorkshire terrier, Sparky, was glad to get out of the laundry room and greet her, happily chasing around her feet in ecstasy because his favorite person in the whole world was finally home. Sarah couldn’t help smiling at his happy yipping. He was a handsome little dog with his flowing black hair and tan little face, and he was always so sincere in his glee at seeing her again after a long day alone.
Dropping her keys and purse on the kitchen counter, she let him out the back door into the small fenced in yard for his run. While Sparky was outside, she took the time to check his water bowl and put out some more food in his dish before heading to her bedroom. It didn’t take her long to trade her work clothes for her pajamas.
After letting Sparky back in, she spent the next hour sitting on the couch cuddling with Sparky and crying. Her little animal friend seemed to sense her grief as he licked her face and snuggled with her, never leaving her side.
Sarah couldn’t help replaying the events of the day over and over in her head. Where was God in all this? Why had He allowed her to lose her parents years ago and now all her friends? What did He want from her and why was he punishing her? What had she ever done to Him?
Her thoughts returned to her past – those days when she still attended church with her parents. The pastor had always preached that God was a loving God who wanted to be a part of our lives and have a personal relationship with us. What type of God destroyed everything that meant anything to you and then asked for a personal relationship with you? She had tried – until she lost her parents. Then she had decided she was done with God if that was the way it was going to be. She didn’t need Him.
At about eight-thirty, she finally gave up crying and crawled into her bed with Sparky curled up at her feet. It was just starting to get dark outside and much earlier than she normally went to bed. But it felt like she’d lived a lifetime today and she just wanted to escape into sleep. Maybe in sleep she would get some relief from the constant pain of grief in her chest and her throat. Hopefully tomorrow would be easier to face. Right now she didn’t think she could handle anything else.
After a time, sleep finally took her.