True Love & Realization
Written by: Mr. Shedrick Carr
Copyright 2015
Published by Shedrick Carr at SmashWords
Introduction
Once upon a time there was a young man in his second semester of college, he was sitting in the school cafeteria and he caught this girl walking by. She had to be the girl of his dreams, the way she spawned the sparkle in his eyes. This had to be the first time he was at a loss for words when it came to a woman. Usually his game was impractical and phenomenal, but she made all that come to a cease. So he swallowed his pride, slapped on his hat off confidence and a little bit of cologne, and preceded to her location. Nervously, “He said hi, what’s your name?” And it was on from there. All of a sudden the girls he came with and the chasing he usually did with the fellas seemed to fade away. From that moment on he was in shook, stumbling, tripping, falling and everything. So as time went on they would sit and talk for hours, everything would be marvelous and lovely forever it seemed. On down the line it would be an unfortunate turn of events, but it couldn’t be helped. Time and time went on, and it seemed the knot that was forming between them was tied. He was bonnie, and she was his Clyde, he was Dre Ellis, and she was his Sydney Shaw. Love and basketball love it seemed to be. No matter where they were or who was around they made time for each other, He even promised her father that he would stick around; he was in it for the long run. He wakes up one morning sick, and he’s rushed to hospital. She came to see him and sit with him until his parents came to get him, and it seemed so wonderful because he got the chance to introduce his family to the girl of his dreams. He has to go home for a while to recuperate, and he thinks he would be able to return soon, but unfortunately he could not. They said they would make it work, and when he gets back it would be on again, but the grass didn’t seem as green as it used to. Things get blurry between them; he thought it was because of the distance. Truth was he did nothing wrong, even though he blamed himself it was all her. He still kept the same faith and the same hope that the fire that once burned between them would rekindle. Even though things were looking glommed and blue, he focused on his necessities which were: his family, his health, and his education. He began to put what he needed to do first and old flares starting coming back around. The girl that he conversed with prior to the turn of events told him, “If she can’t appreciate you, I will.” Even though the clouds were heavy, the sun finally started to shine again on his life. The love of his life started to be a thing of his past. He realized he couldn’t get to his future, holding on to his past. It only goes to show you, no matter how perfect you are to somebody if they’re not in it for the same reasons you are pick up the signs and avoid a stay at heartbreak hotel. His heart wasn’t even broken, he mind just grew wiser and stronger grew his will and determination. If you met somebody that catches your eye like no other, but doesn’t treat you as perfect as they make you feel then acknowledge within yourself, and tell the real from the fake. Don’t ever trade a dedicated person, to somebody of your fantasies it’ll never work. Enjoy the book!
Chapter 1:
Love at First Sight
It was on a cold, windy, dreary, Thursday Night on the beautiful, magnificent campus of Alabama A&M University. It was after class and I met up with my closest friends that I call my crew to go to the cafeteria and eat dinner. My friend KT said, “Yo yo it’s a few girls that wanna meet up with us in there.” He always tried to set something up with some females, just like me except I did my dirt solo and I never left a stain. We get there and get our food, the girls came and sat in front us, and you wouldn’t believe what happened next. As I’m sitting there eating, the prettiest, most gorgeous thing walked by and made a sparkle in my eyes. It must have been fate, because I was blind to everybody else and all I saw was her. It seemed like the whole room froze. All the food fell out my mouth, and I was in a daze for at least five minutes. I must have forgotten those girls were in front of us, my friends had to bring me back to earth because I was on cloud 9. As I began to re-gather myself and apologize to the ladies, I knew right then and there in my mind I had to say something. If I don’t somebody else will and I’ll be looking at my true love from a far sight sitting with a girl who’s nagging my ears off. So I slap on my hat of confidence, slap in a piece of mint gum, dab on a bit of cologne, and proceed to her location. She was sitting by herself, and I know she say me walking up I hardly even got there my legs was shaking like a stripper. I swallow my pride, clear my throat, and I calmly say, “Hi I’m DJ what’s your name?” Her voice sounded like a symphony, it was so beautiful it made my ears smile might as well call me dumbo my ears and his nose was wider than the outside. Conversation was marvelous, as soon as she looked at me I sit here and honestly tell ya’ll it had to be at least 30 degrease outside, but she set me on fire. Everything was lovely I got her number, and from then I felt like the man of the year. She had a brother walking on sunshine, and I just met her. The next day I went to see her before my music class, and I sat with her for a minute while she was doing her homework. Conversation wasn’t that long I just felt great, because I actually got to see her again. I met up with her again after class at the cafeteria, and I think she attempted to give me a little test. She was nicer than mother earth when I first met her yesterday, but all of sudden she just converted to a mean mean beautiful girl. I think she was trying to see could I handle it, but little did she know I have an enormous weakness for girls that don’t let me get my way. She was surprised and shocked at the same time when she learned that she couldn’t scare me off, so after the cafeteria we walked outside and began to talk. I’m thinking that we’ll just sit and chat for a bit, but I ended up sitting down there all night chatting and giggling with her crazy self. I walked over there at 5, and I didn’t leave until 12, yo I knew this was going to be real, had to be patient though for the things that were to unfold. My next days were spent with constant thought, exhilarating fantasies, and complete shock and confusion, because I thought I would meet my dream girl at an early age, but 20 years old and almost a sophomore and she was right here in my face. Every time I would have doubts that this might be fake, and not real she always said something, or did something to make me believe again. Knew I would find real love one day, then I met her, it was love at first sight. I was not ready for the things that began to unfold. You would always hear fairy tales, and love stories as a child, wanna hear a real love story? Keep reading!
Chapter 2:
Something New
It felt so beautiful and lovely have somebody like her by my side. She was heaven on earth all in one beautiful, marvelous person. I wanted to tell the whole world I met the girl of my dreams, but I played it cool though. The time began to progress, and the conversations we created began to grow deeper, and the feelings that began to transpire began to increase. I hit a little snag when I had all those girls in my phone from the past, and the present before I met her. When I met her she was the only girl I wanted, and those other girls became irrelevant. I should have deleted all those messages and meaningless conversations as soon as I met her, but time will teach you it’s up to you to learn. I would sit and tell her the beautiful things about her that I admired, and how I want to treat her like she is somebody, not just any somebody, but that perfect somebody. She took it as game, but every word I said came from my heart. I hated to see that look of heartbreak on her face, I knew I had to act fast or I might lose her before I even have her. I had no choice, but to pour my heart out to her in one final message. I sat heartbroken my friends came to cheer me up. If it was something wrong with any of us, we all made it our business to keep each other out the dumps, yo that was my squad, and they’ll always be. Just when I began to think about letting go,
I got the call with the four magic words, “Can I come over?” Ya’ll do not know how fast my heart skipped a beat. I never thought that I would be able to talk to the girl of my dreams in person, but now she’s coming to spend time with me. I knew I was the man before, when it came to the ladies, but having her on my arm I had to turn my hat down over my face, and put on a brand new suit, because I knew I was the man for sure now. I always had so much love to give, just didn’t know what to do with. After giving it to God and my momz, I could give it all to her. It was one night where I went to go see her with my friend rico who was a part of my crew; she had a friend which gave me the opportunity to share the harvest of dreamgirls with my best friend for years. We went to the store with them, and I said the greatest thing that I think that began to capture her attention for sure. She needed something from the store that I had plenty of. Instead of me just watching her trying to buy it, I said “I’ll give you some of mine don’t worry about buying that.” I softly grabbed her hand, looked her in her eyes, and said, “Listen if you need anything and I got it, you got it to.” I just wanted to her know if she decides to be with me one day, it’ll be fun and beneficial at the same time. I’ve tried to help plenty of girls in the past which it never worked out, but something told me she was worth it. She reminded of the beautiful girl from the jet beauty of the year magazine I grew up on. It was something new about the journey we began to embark on together. It was so marvelous, miraculous, and spontaneous at the same time. Have you ever looked at the love movies, or the music videos the r&b singers would make about love, and wish you could touch love like that one day? All of sudden the Jagged Edge group was my new favorite artists, and my new favorite song was, Let’s Get Married. A fairy tale of perfection it may seem to you, but to me it was something new. I have no idea how long this would last, but however and whatever I had to go through I was in it for the long run. I’ve dated plenty of women back in my day, but I never met anyone like her. Something new was the situation, exchange of deep words and expression began to be the transaction.
Chapter 3:
Love Never Felt So Good
Love has always been a complex, ideal, teaching individual. I’ve felt love before, but love like this has never felt so good. The time we spent together was priceless, and to please her I went above and beyond. After her every class I would meet her to carry her books, and after my every class she came and met me to carry my books, it was lovely. I became so protective of her even though she didn’t really like it; she was so beautiful if somebody was to harm her I couldn’t handle it. It wasn’t too long before I began to care so much for her, she would tell me her problems, and I would tell her mine. I didn’t just comfort her, we would comfort each other. I always told her one day I’m going to tell our love story to the world. She wasn’t too sure if I meant it, and the truth was I wasn’t too sure if I meant it either. The sun would shine, but I never saw it shined like it shined when she was near. They say love is blind; it must be true because I didn’t see anybody but her. Old flings would still call and flock. They were still dimes, but I never could keep up with the change. I remember when I was in the 3rd grade and my teacher Mrs. Inglewood, would make us read these books. We had a certain deadline we had to reach by this certain date, but I didn’t want to read mine. I stayed in trouble because of that, and then these little things called dibbles testing came into place. We were allowed to check out library books determined by how many words we could read per minute. I didn’t want to read those books, but I had the highest level in not just my grade, but the whole school. It only goes to show you the things we may not enjoy that much may be the things we are most good at. I admit I was never really good at this love thing. I always tried to keep at least four to five women on my line at one time. I used to ask my uncles and my father why it’s so hard to keep one women in a world where there are millions of them. They would laugh and tell me that I was too young to be tied down. Even though I knew that was true, I always felt bad about it no matter how old I was. The point is I tried to find remorse for those mistakes with her. I was even going to change my number where nobody would have it but my family, my close friends, and her so that those old things calling from the past wouldn’t interfere on the girl I’m trying to make my future. It wasn’t about the mistakes I made that made me wanted to treat her unlike I have never treated somebody before. I didn’t know what the future would hold for us, but whatever happens I wanted to be able to say I gave it my all regardless. It was a lot that happened between us that I never faced before, but I didn’t just ball up, get scared, and just run away. I stayed for the fight, and began to spend every night studying her heart and understanding her mind. Sometimes in life as human beings we want love so bad, we forgot to love the one thing that’s the important in our lifes, OURSELVES! When I found Jesus those 6 or 7 long years ago, he told me one thing that I carry with me even till this day. He said, “You won’t be able to love anybody, until you love yourself.” I spent days and months figuring out what that meant, and then it came to me one day. To love myself is to understand myself. Not care what anybody says, or thinks about me whether it’s friends or families. It’s not easy as it sounds, so please don’t take my words for granted and try to be like me and follow my path to find the love I found. Always be yourself, no matter what anybody says or think about you. You’ll never be able to become successful in life trying to please them instead of pleasing yourself. I had to take a break from my story to make this point to realization comparison. Back to the story people; keep reading it gets even better!
Chapter 4:
Down For Her
When I tell yall the time we spent together was priceless, let me explain to ya’ll how. She had a friend who was real cool. They had been best friends since high school. My friends and I used to chase girls, sit outside most of the time talking to random girls. Ever since I met her I just wouldn’t into that anymore. I began to hang with her and her best friend more than I began to hang with my own friends. I knew she was cool, but with both and her friend it was chillax. My original crew or group of friends if you prefer, weren’t too happy about that. My friend delorian said I was starting to disappear. I never used to like delorian, but when I got to know him he had to be part of my crew, yo that’s my brother to the end no matter where he goes. She started to notice that I didn’t hang with my friends as much, her best friend used to say because he got tired of them, they do too much, and he just be wanting to chill. Even though that was true, I knew I was wrong. I had to think of a game plan fast. I was sitting in biology class, and it suddenly came to me. Instead of your girl or your friends, why not have both. I tried to take that approach, but it sort of backfired and I felt like my friends were getting jealous. I would tell my chick, yo they acting like we in relationships when they supposed to be my brothers. I went almost a week without talking to my original friends, but she made my mind change. It was a night when we were in my room watching a movie, and I get a knock on the door guess who it was, my friends. So I started not to answer but she told me to go on and talk to them anyway. So I go outside and we cross words, and we eventually squash it. Somebody that interferes on your life decisions for the better, that’s when you know that person, is the one for you. Instead of my crew with her, and my original crew with them clashing against each other, we all became one big crew. It couldn’t get anymore lovelier than that. I got my brothers, my dreamgirl, and my new sister all by my side. Sometimes things just don’t work it out as you may think it seems. In life you’ll realize that God interferes with your plan for the better. You may think he set you back to punish you for a mistake, but he actually sets you back to bring you twice as much steps ahead your original goal. Sometimes you’ll realize that the things you think are bad are the blessings in disguise. I used to tell her she was good and bad for my health, but mostly good. Everything seemed beautiful for us, but sometimes things take an unexpected turn for the better, even when you thinks it’s for the worst. You will not bel
ieve the unexpected turn that’s going to occur. Before you start to feel sorry for me, read the whole book.
Chapter 5:
Minor Setback for a Major Comeback
Everything seemed beautiful and permanent for us, but things happen for a reason, it’s up to us to figure that reason out. It was one morning I woke up sicker than I’ve ever been. I had a history of being sick at the university, but I never thought it would catch up with me. I have to go into the hospital for a week, but I get out, and end up having to go right back. It was decided that I would have to go back home. I didn’t think too much of it because I was planning on coming back to school, but things didn’t work it out as well as I intended. She came and sat with me at the hospital, even though I was sick it was lovely, because I got a chance to introduce my family to the girl of my dreams. We said we were going to make it work, and I told her not to worry we’re going to be okay. When I learned that I couldn’t come back until the next semester I was depressed. I soon got up out the slumps, and looked at my mistake as a learning experience. School is being difficult about me coming back, the girl I thought that was from my dreams was acting crazy, and then on top of that I have problems within my family. Hey I didn’t frown for too long, because I found positivity within myself. I felt untouchable, so above everybody, but God placed his hand on my shoulder to slow me down. I thank him for that, sometimes you have to fall back to realize how to stay up. It was safe to say I set my own self back, the way I would put my education above everything, even myself. I’ don’t spend my time dwelling on what could have been, or what should have been done, you can never move on from the past if you’re living in it. To move on and grasp the blessings and the opportunities that lie within in the future you have to first let go off the past. If you suddenly feel inspired, don’t be alarmed.