No one does.
Stray lets go of my hand, bends over and picks up a rock before throwing it into the lake. “No, I don’t… and I don’t really feel like one anymore. It’s the first time in my life I haven’t felt that way, but it’s also still a part of me. I don’t know if I feel like Jeremiah either.”
I shrug. “Then we’ll call you Stray until you do. Oh, hey, you can be Strayemiah.”
He rolls his eyes and laughs at my lame joke while I pick up a rock and throw it into the water as well.
“When I first got to Better Days, I came out here with Rosie. We threw rocks in the water like this. She said each one of them were our problems, and that we were throwing them away.”
So, that’s what we do—one after another we throw all our problems to the bottom of the lake. The whole time I think about Rosie—Rosie, Casey, and Bethany. I know Stray is too.
It’s about a half hour later when I hear a car pull up. By the sound of the engine, I know it’s Mom. Behind her is another car, and I can tell Stray gets nervous.
“Let’s go,” I tell him.
This time it’s Stray who holds my hand. I hope he’s never afraid to break me again.
“Hey!” I let go of him to give Mom a hug, then Holly. A couple gets out of the car behind her, the woman with long, red hair and the man with tons of freckles on his face. He almost looks like he could be Stray’s real dad.
“I missed you so much, mijo,” Mom says.
“I missed you too.” I pull away. “Mom, this is my boyfriend Stray. Stray, this is my mom and my sister, Holly.” He freezes up when Mom hugs him, obviously not used to that kind of thing.
“It’s so nice to meet you, Stray. Hunter’s told me so much about you.”
“Thank you, ma’am. It’s nice to meet you too.”
She waves a hand at him. “None of that ma’am stuff. I’m not that old yet.”
Holly tells him hi just as Stray’s foster parents approach. I feel the tension in the air… the awkwardness, and being unsure. But I can also see how much they want this. How much they want to make this right for him.
“I’m Wendy, and this is my husband Marshall.”
“This is Hunter,” Stray says, holding my hand again.
We all get the rest of our introductions out of the way, and then Mrs. Spencer and everyone else comes out. We spend the afternoon talking about Rosie—telling stories about her, what we learned from her, and just how freaking awesome she was. I get sad when I think about the fact that Rosie didn’t get to fall in love a million times before she died.
I remember once I thought she was eternal, that she just kept living different lives over and over. I still believe that. She walked with dinosaurs, and now she’s gone somewhere else that she’s needed—maybe another country or another time, but I know Rosie is still out there, and maybe she really has gotten to fall in love over and over and over.
Wendy and Marshall try so hard to interact with Stray. He’s nervous, but I see he’s putting in effort as well. They’ll get there. I have no doubts.
It’s a couple of hours later when Mom tells me it’s time to go. My stuff is already packed and waiting for me in Mrs. Spencer’s office. “I’ll go with you to get it,” Stray says, his voice low.
“Hunter.” Wendy sets a hand on my shoulder. “I’m sure you gave Jeremiah your number, but we’d like to have it as well. If you want, and if it’s okay with your mom, you can ride back with us to pick him up next month. You guys can hang out for a few hours, and ride the horses or something; then we’ll take you home.”
“That sounds very nice,” Mom says, but I can’t take my eyes off Stray. He has the biggest smile I’ve ever seen from him.
“Thank you,” he whispers.
“We’re happy to do it,” Marshall replies.
Stray grabs my hand, and we head into the building. He hangs back as I say the rest of my good-byes. Mom’s already signed all the paperwork. We grab my things and pack it into Mom’s car before Stray and I slip away. There’s nothing left to do except say good-bye to him. Nope. Not good-bye. See you later.
“Don’t find any other boys to fall in love with while you’re here,” I tell him.
Stray rolls his eyes. “Don’t find any boys to fall in love with out there.”
“I won’t,” I say, nothing but serious. “Just you.” And then I cup his face with my hands and press my mouth to his. Just like every time I kiss him, it’s the first, last, only kiss I’ve ever had. His lips are soft, and his tongue tastes familiar. He smells like marker, and ink, and I’m pretty sure it’s the best smell in the world.
“I’ll see you soon,” I say when we separate. “You can come to my house too. Mom already said… and if things don’t work out with….” Sure there would be steps we’d need to take, but I don’t believe it will come to that. They love Stray, and deep down, I know he loves them too.
“My foster parents,” he supplies, for the first time saying my instead of the.
“They will, but if they don’t, you have us.” I rub my hands up and down his arms. “Please, don’t hurt yourself.” It wasn’t in my plan to say that, but I can’t hold it back.
“I’ll try.” And I know it’s the best, most honest answer he can give.
“I love you.”
“I love you too,” he replies.
A few minutes later and I’m sitting in the car, watching Stray, Marshall, Wendy, and Mrs. Spencer while we pull away. Part of me hates knowing that he’s going to be here alone… part of me thinks it’s the best thing for him. I’ll see him again soon. Nothing will stop me.
When we get to the end of the driveway, I read the sign that I hated when we pulled in—Better Days! Where a better day is right around the corner!
Never would I have expected that they’d be right. I know I’m not healed; things don’t really work like that. It’s not perfect, but it’s just what they said, it’s better. I think better is sometimes all you can hope for.
I hope things are better for Casey.
For Bethany.
And for Rosie, wherever in the universe or time she is.
I can’t help but wonder if she was right, if they’d have to turn the world upside down to understand us. Maybe they do, and maybe that’s okay. We all have our own different reality and lives. When I think about Mom and Holly and Stray, I couldn’t be happier with mine.
Author’s Note
DEAR READER,
Mental illness is very close to my heart. I’ve experienced it closely with family members. If you suffer from mental illness, please know that you’re not alone and there is nothing to be ashamed of. And please know that suicide is never, ever the answer. If you need someone to talk to, please reach out to someone you trust, or if you’d rather, there are many hotlines out there with people willing and waiting to talk to you.
Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386
More from Nyrae Dawn
Sometimes it’s not about coming out, it’s about settling in.
Eighteen-year-old Bradley Collins came out a year ago and hasn’t looked back since. Who cares if he doesn’t know any other gay people? Bradley has friends and basketball—that’s all he needs. Even if that means always sitting on the sidelines when the guys go out looking for girls.
When cute film-boy TJ tries to flirt with Bradley while his friends are doing their thing, he freaks. Yeah, he’s gay, but he’s never had the opportunity to go out with a boy before. He’s never had to worry about how his friends will react to seeing him with a guy.
Bradley accompanies TJ on a road trip to film TJ’s senior project documentary. In each city they visit, they meet with people from different walks of life, and Bradley learns there’s a whole lot more to being honest about himself than just coming out. He still has to figure out who he really is and learn to be okay with what he discovers.
Readers love The History of Us by Nyrae Dawn
“Nyrae Daw
n has brought to life two wonderful heroes in this novel, flawed and sexy and immensely real... I loved it!”
—Rainbow Book Reviews
“This book is beautiful in so many ways. It is both heartbreaking and uplifting, innocent and sweet... Read. This. Book.”
—Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words
“I wonder if Nyrae will ever tire of the all cap messages and exclamations of fangirl love I send her while reading her stories. I hope not because it’s a natural reaction for me.”
—Fictitious Delicious
NYRAE DAWN can almost always be found with a book in her hand or an open document on her laptop. She couldn’t live without books—reading or writing them. Oh, and chocolate. She’s slightly addicted.
She feels a special pull to characters in their teens. There’s something so fresh and fun about the age that she adores exploring. Her husband says it’s because she doesn’t want to grow up. She doesn’t think that’s such a bad thing. Luckily for her, he doesn’t either.
Nyrae gravitates toward character-driven stories. Whether reading or writing, she loves emotional journeys. It’s icing on the cake when she really feels something, but is able to laugh too. She’s a proud romantic, who has a soft spot for flawed characters. She loves people who aren’ t perfect, who make mistakes, but also have big hearts.
Nyrae is living her very own happily ever after in California with her gorgeous husband (who still makes her swoon) and her two incredibly awesome kids.
Find her online at:
Blog: www.nyraedawn.blogspot.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/nyraedawnwrites
By Nyrae Dawn
The History of Us
Turn the World Upside Down
Published by HARMONY INK PRESS
www.harmonyinkpress.com
Published by
HARMONY INK PRESS
5032 Capital Circle SW, Suite 2, PMB# 279, Tallahassee, FL 32305-7886 USA
[email protected] • harmonyinkpress.com
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of author imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Turn the World Upside Down
© 2016 Nyrae Dawn.
Cover Art
© 2016 Aaron Anderson.
[email protected] Cover content is for illustrative purposes only and any person depicted on the cover is a model.
All rights reserved. This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution via any means is illegal and a violation of international copyright law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon conviction, fines, and/or imprisonment. Any eBook format cannot be legally loaned or given to others. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the Publisher, except where permitted by law. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact Harmony Ink Press, 5032 Capital Circle SW, Suite 2, PMB# 279, Tallahassee, FL 32305-7886, USA, or
[email protected].
ISBN: 978-1-63477-418-5
Digital ISBN: 978-1-63477-419-2
Library of Congress Control Number: 2016903156
Published October 2016
v. 1.0
Printed in the United States of America
Nyrae Dawn, Turn the World Upside Down
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