Jade and I have a new ritual now that we are in dance together. She picks me up every morning so we can go directly to the dance studio after school. Since my first day, I’ve decided to give the place a chance. In fact, it’s the only place I remotely fit in. I can honestly say that dance makes the world go round. My phone calls with Lauren have become less frequent, and I can tell that she’s moving on without me. She mentioned a few auditions coming up for her. I’m happy for her, but it sucks for me.
Gran has lightened my load to only three mornings a week and the weekends. I still think that’s a lot and the thought of getting up before five in the morning is killing me. Knowing I can’t even sleep in on Saturdays makes it even worse. I’d love to be able to sleep in.
On Saturday morning, I’m pulled from my sleep by my alarm clock. I reluctantly roll out of bed, put on clothes, and slide on Gran’s boots. I swear wearing them is beginning to become second nature, I just wish there weren’t so big and more my style.
Barrick is already here when I walk into the barn. Great.
“Mornin’,” he says as he leads the cows into the milking stations.
“Hey.” I say as I walk toward him and begin to attach the cups. He stops and looks at me. “You got a problem?” I say looking at him.
“Nope,” he says as he continues to work and then mumbles under his breath something about a tutu.
“What did you say?”
“Nothin’,” he says, turning to his work.
“Hell no. If you have something to say, by all means, please lay it out there.”
“It’s nothing. I’m just surprised I didn’t have to tell you what to do. I thought once Ms. Mae gave in to you going to the studio, you’d be slacking off ‘round here.”
“I might be able to go to the studio, but I have to spend my weekends working on the farm.” He stops working and turns to look at me. His lips are pressed together like he’s trying to gather his words, but refrains before he turns toward the cow to continue working.
“Look, I don’t like being out here anymore than you like me being out here. Let’s just do what we have to do and get done,” I say with my arms crossed.
“So are you being helpful because you want to help or because you want to dance?” he asks.
“What does it matter to you as long as I pull my weight?”
“I guess it doesn’t,” he states and continues to milk the cows.
I leave him alone in the milking station and decide to start cleaning the stalls. I take my time, and before long he is working beside me.
“I don’t need your help.”
“The faster we both do this, the faster we’re done.” He does have a point.
We are almost finished when I hear my cellphone chime. I put the pitchfork down to see who it is. Barrick shakes his head at me.
“Mother fucker!” I say looking at the screen as I read a text from my dad.
Dad: Sorry. Something’s come up for Thanksgiving. Maybe Christmas?
I turn to start back to work when I realize that Barrick is staring at me. “What?” I huff.
“Everything okay?”
“Not really.”
“Sorry.”
“Sorry? How can you be sorry for something that has nothing to do with you?”
“I was just trying to be nice.”
“Fuck that! All men are the same. You try to make up once you fuck up but then you fuck up all over again.”
“What the hell are you talkin’ ‘bout?” Barrick asks as he steps closer.
“Guys! You all say one thing and mean another or just do stupid shit to piss me off.”
“What? Like this?” Barrick says as he pulls me in for a kiss. I give in because his lips are so soft and he has me pulled in tightly. I suddenly realize what I’m doing and pull away.
“What the hell?” I try to walk away from him but he pulls me in for a hug.
Barrick
I don’t know what made me do it, but when she started talking like that, I just had to shut her up. I wanted to make her feel better and show her that not all guys are the same. I know she liked it; I felt her give in to the kiss. I wish she’d let me in.
“Sorry. You just wouldn’t be quiet,” I say as I step away from her.
“Do you normally do that to people when they are having a meltdown?”
I smirk because that was a first. “Nah, I don’t think most of the guys would appreciate that,” I say as I turn back to the stall. I can feel her eyes on me, so I turn back to face her.
“So just like that, you’re going back to work like you didn’t just attack my lips?” she asks. I continue to work without a word. “For the record, if you ever touch my lips without my permission again, I’ll rip yours off,” she says as she begins to work beside me.
“Noted.” We work in tension-filled silence until it’s time to clean up for lunch.