acute, more painful.
It occurs to me that we’ve been through this terribly hard time and now she’s touching me and I don’t understand.
“You alright?” I ask her.
“Yes,” she says. “Why?”
I tell her.
“I have to make a decision,” she replies. “I have to everyday. I have to choose this life that we want. I have to choose you. And I do. I do, even though it’s hard and sometimes its ugly and sometimes I say things that hurt you and you say things that hurt me. In the end, things are going to get better. I choose to believe that. I choose to believe in you. I choose to believe in us.”
“Damn,” I say, shocked and impressed all at once.
“And you were right. I did choose to give away my love to someone else and starved you of it. That was wrong. How can I blame you for shutting down when I did the same thing? I know we had sex, but I wasn’t connected to you. I only did it because I had to, and if I didn’t you’d have asked questions I didn’t want to answer – even to myself. That was my choice. Well,” she says with a deep breath, “I’m choosing a new way, where I give you my love and my all, even when it’s hard – especially then. That’s what I want to promise you. And,” she adds, “this is a whole waste of time if I can’t do it.”
“That’s.... pretty damn amazing,” I tell her.
“Well, I’ve been thinking about this for a while. This is a good chance to put it into practice. How am I doing? I don’t hear you complaining.”
“I’m not,” I say. “But isn’t this against the rules?”
“I’m not I grabbing you,” she says archly, “like Chloe did.”
“Thanks for bringing that up again.”
She smiles. “The rules are what we make them,” she says.
“But this isn’t the way you feel. I mean after what we talked about, you should be sad or angry, or something other than wanting to make love to you right here, right now.”
“True,” she says with a smile, “but the funny thing is, when you change your thinking, when you choose to love regardless of how you feel, you actually start to change to way you feel. It’s liberating.”
“I want you to be honest.”
“I am being honest. I love you and I know the words you said before aren’t the way you feel now. I’m choosing you instead of focusing on the hurt.”
She moves her hand and I’m starting to drive a little erratically.
“I can’t work you out at all,” I tell her breathlessly.
She takes her hand away. “Good,” she says. “Sometimes I think that you believe I’m this one dimensional person, Judd. You think I’m one way, but really I’m all sorts of ways, all at once. And I’m glad that I can still surprise you.”
I exhale deeply. I’ve been holding my breath. “These sorts of surprises I like,” I say.
She smiles to herself and looks out the window. “There are plenty more surprises to come.”
In the next episode of Twenty Four Weeks…
Quinn has a realization about her time with Wade… Quinn’s anniversary plans take Judd by surprise…
“Judd,” she says. We are on the sofa, in our usual configuration.
“Yes,” I say hesitantly.
“You’re pretty tense.”
“What?”
“With work and driving me around. You’re getting stressed.”
“I’m fine.”
“Maybe. But maybe you need to relax.”
I raise my brows. “What are you suggesting?”
She pulls her feet from my lap, stands and extends a hand for me to take. “Come with me,” she says.
…
She takes a deep breath. “This is when we’re falling apart,” she says, lookintg at the pictures in the album, “but there’s still something there. I mean, I’m with Wade and you’re... I don’t know where you were... but there is still love there. I know you think that it wasn’t real then, but it was. At least I thought so.”
“Really?”
“I did still love you then, Judd. Even with everything else, I still loved you. Why do you think I didn’t tell you about my affair? I didn’t want to hurt you. Well, maybe not. Maybe I was just a coward.” She sighs. “So, what do you think? What have you lost?”
…
“Tomorrow,” I say, then I wave my hands about, indicating I want to know more.
“Dinner and a movie,” she tells me. “It’ll be nice.”
“It’s our anniversary,” I remind her.
“I’m well aware.”
“Well, shouldn’t we...”
She smiles. “Let’s not make it too big a deal. I mean, there’s a lot going on, right?”
…
“Wade-f-ing-beau-fort,” she says. “Imagine my surprise at seeing you here.”
“Wendy Altman,” he says back.
“You remember me?”
He puts a hand up to his perfect nose, makes a play at straightening it. “How could I forget?” he says with a smile.
“I heard that Judd was working with you again, but I refused to believe it until I saw it with my own eyes.”
He shrugs. “We have an understanding.”
Download regularly the Episode Guide for updates on this series. Additionally there is an Adult version (contains adult themes, coarse language, sexual references, high-level sex scenes and some violence) and downloadable audio books of these episodes (adult version).
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