Quinn and I are doing with the Uptons and how it is working. They seem to have strong, loving marriages, but I guess I’ve just been seeing the outer wrapping of their lives. Maybe there is some problems deep down that they’re walking through that I don’t know about. I’ll ask them both when I can get each one alone, try and scratch the surface. I’m not saying I’m any kind of expert, far from it, but I can listen. I can be their friends like I should have been.
We eat together on Jen and Allan’s long, wooden dining table - the hosts, Quinn and I, Becca and Mike. It’s scratched and dented like our lives, but it’s also full of character. We laugh and drink and tell stories of our past. I can hardly remember any of the times we had together, but that’s just me. It’s like I’m hearing them for the first time in a way, and maybe I laugh the loudest.
Later everyone sits on the balcony while Jen cleans up in the kitchen. I see her rinsing dishes and loading them in the dishwasher through the window and I get up and go to her. I take a plate from her and she’s startled.
“Judd?” she says.
“Can I help?”
“You don’t need to do anything,” she assures me. “You’re a guest.”
“I don’t mind. And I’ve got something to say.”
She places a hand on her hip, looks at me strangely. “What is it?” she asks me, perhaps a little defensively.
“I just wanted to thank you,” I say. “Of all our friends, I think you’ve done the most for us.”
“How’s that?” she asks. “I’ve done hardly anything. And I haven’t exactly been your champion either.”
I sigh. “I know. But I wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t called me and told me how she was doing.”
“I didn’t do that for you.”
“I know that too. But you did me a favour. I know you didn’t mean to, but you did. You did us both a favour. If you hadn’t have called me I wouldn’t have come home so soon and maybe we wouldn’t have shared what we did, and we probably wouldn’t be here right now.”
She nods her head slowly.
“And I guess I realised that even though we thought we were friends all those years, we weren’t. I close myself off from people because I’m afraid that I’ll be hurt by them. I know that now. And because of that I haven’t been a friend to any of you, and I kind of regret that. Even Quinn. It turns out I didn’t know her either. But I want you to know that’s going to change. I’d like to get to know you, all of you, like I should have. If you’ll let me, that is.”
“You’ve changed,” she observes. “I’ve never heard you talk like this before.”
“No. And I’m sorry about that too. You don’t know me either.” I laugh. “Maybe I don’t know myself anymore – this new me. I’m learning things about myself I never knew, and that’s a little scary. But I will tell you this: I’m going to let you get to know this new me. He’s going to be your friend, your real friend.”
I suddenly find that she’s hugging me. We’ve never done that. Quinn and members of my own family are the only people I used to hug. But that was me keeping other people at arm’s length. I’m not doing that now. I’m letting people in.
“Should I feel jealous?” Quinn asks us. We pull apart and Jen is wiping her eyes. I’m shaking my head, smiling warmly. “What are you two talking about?”
“Nothing important,” Jen says and hugs Quinn too, “just making friends.”
“I’m glad,” Quinn says into Jen’s shoulder. “I know things have been different between you two for a while.”
“More than you think,” Jen says.
We sit outside for an hour and then Quinn wants to get home. She gets tired easily now, and I’m getting used to the signs when she’s reaching the end of her strength. We leave our friends behind, head back into the city and our apartment. I’m moving on. I’m leaving behind my old life where I kept myself from others. I’m embracing the new, where I’m a good friend and I’m open to share myself.
That’s my journey. That’s the path I’m walking.
In the next episode of Twenty Four Weeks:
A caller changes everything for the show… Judd and Wade face truths about their marriages… Judd contemplates his feelings over his lost boy and how Quinn feels about her eighth month rapidly approaching…
Wade is frantically signalling to me from behind the glass that stands between us. I’ve still got my phones on but I’ve cut the sound while I’m reading the bio of our next guest. His waving has caught my eye and he’s tapping his phones. I pull the sound up to hear his latest caller:
“... and you just sit there tell us how it is, but you don’t care what that does. We listen to you, we follow you, and it ruins our lives. It’s ruined my life.”
“I’m sorry that’s happened...”
“You don’t care!” the caller yells. “You don’t have to pick up the pieces. We do. And you just keep getting richer on our pain.”
I’m holding my hands up to Wade, like I can’t see a problem. This is the same as any other kind of call. He’s shaking his head furiously at me.
…
“So,” Jerry begins, “the Man Up Show. Big changes this year.”
“Sure have been, Jerry,” Wade replies with a smile.
“Why don’t you run through that with us?”
“Well... we’ve been kind of transitioning into a different format for the last few months, trying to tone down the way we were doing things before, trying to bring in a new... atmosphere, if you like.”
“What was wrong with the old format?”
Wade laughs a little. “It’s no secret I was maybe as little harsh with my callers and guests a while back. I don’t know, I guess the show no longer fitted with what I wanted to be doing.”
…
I realise, in that instant that the spotlight is about to fall directly on me and I have no idea what to do or what to say. I’m also aware that I’m not made up for the camera and I’m going to be all shiny.
Wade stands up, looks to the side he came from. “Come on out, Judd,” he commands. Without knowing just how he did it, I find my legs obeying him. I’m out on the set, walking towards them.
“Please welcome Judd Altman,” Jerry says, as if he’s planned it all along.
…
We get there in twenty minutes, head up to his floor. The women are sitting on the sofa waiting for us, when we stumble into the room. They clap us as we stand there feeling like fools.
“What is it?” Quinn asks when she sees that we’re not at all pleased with the outcome of the interview.
“You saw it, right?”
“Yes.”
“Then you have to know that there’s going to be some unintentional repercussions from what we said tonight.”
“Repercussions?” Chloe asks, sitting forward.
“Forget unintentional,” Wade says. “Try disastrous.”
…
“So,” Grant says, “I saw the interview last night.”
“Ah.” I know exactly where he’s going with this. “You want to talk about what I said.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“I don’t know. Is it a problem?”
“Well you did fib a little there.”
“Yeah.”
Download regularly the Episode Guide for updates on this series. Additionally there is an Adult version (contains adult themes, coarse language, sexual references, high-level sex scenes and some violence) and downloadable audio books of these episodes (adult version).
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