14
The Impressionist
Reuben started off his new year, sulking in the lounge chair in his bedroom, staring at the picture screen saver of him and Lisa that he had never changed. It hurt him that it was over but it hurt him more that she chose his best friend over him, not in a condescending way but in a best friend’s broken code of honour kind of way. How could Craig deceive him like this?
He sighed, rubbing his chin thoughtfully; the only spot on his face that had spurted any hair, unlike Craig, who was blessed with a flourishing mature beard at nineteen. A scowl started to form on his lips.
“Darling?” his mother poked her head into the room and smiled sweetly at him, “you have a visitor.
Before he could come up with some excuse why that would not be a good idea, James appeared behind her. His large frame towering over Mrs. Clark like a morning shadow. He looked at him blankly from the doorway, eyeing him with those freakishly bold, penetrating eyes.
“I’ll leave you two to your boy talk,” said Mrs. Clark, pulling the door shut behind James.
“You acted like a fool the other night,” James said, his easy tone belying the impact of his words.
Reuben regarded him with disinterest, “A man has a right to go berserk when he finds out his girlfriend and best friend have been sneaking behind his back, especially in the grace given world of Christianity.”
James pulled up a stool and sat down, “she’s your ex-girlfriend Reuben,” he corrected, “I know you feel very betrayed by Craig, but you’re also unreasonably mad about something that had stopped being your concern the moment Lisa said good-bye. I know you want to talk about it, it’ll clarify things in your head and I don’t mind listening, but only after I’ve pointed out to you how your behaviour last night may have scared off Alex. And you may find my concern out of place, but trust me when I say I have every right to be.
Reuben regarded him with a scowl for a while then sighed, shaking his head, he said: “you’re right, I... what do you mean I scared off Alex?”
James picked up a pencil and started twirling it around his fingers before he responded, “Alex doesn’t take too well to mood swings, she doesn’t like being brushed aside or made to feel invisible especially by people that may have appeared to care initially.
Reuben frowned, “and you know this because...”
“I pay attention even though I don’t hang around, I’ll let you in on another little secret too, I’ve been watching her way before you two met.”
“Why? How? Are you a stalker? Cause if you are, you have to leave my house right now.”
James chuckled, “am not a stalker Reuben, I’m just a guy with a mission.”
“Yeah you keep saying that.”
James shook his head and pursed his lips, “let’s just say, I was sent to deliver a message to a family, a message that cannot be understood without faith, and that’s your job.”
“My job?” Reuben sat up, his eyes now wide with confusion, “who do you think you are?” he asked angrily.
“Am an ex-convict, bass guitarist, with enemies from here to Canada, but none of that matters compared to my divine purpose.”
He paused and looked Reuben directly in the eyes, “I will give my life for this purpose, but you need to go over there and make it up to Alex or the past month would’ve been pointless.”
Reuben shook his head, “you’re unbelievable. But…” he sighed, “You’re right, creepy but right. I do need to apologize, I was a jerk.”
James smiled as he got up, “good then, I knew I could count on you.”
“One day you’re gonna have to tell me the truth James, the whole truth,” Reuben said.
James shrugged, “the truth always has a way of revealing itself.”
The dining room was swarming with activity and excitement. Ryan wore a permanent grin as he helped Sherry place the food on the table. You wouldn’t believe these were the same two people who were at each other’s throats like dogs just a few weeks ago when Ryan found out the truth about Sherry’s pregnancy.
Leon hovered over Rachel as she finished set the table and Sonti sat down nonchalantly, absorbed in whatever conversation she was having on her phone, twirling her new braids around her finger.
They didn’t seem to care that they’d done family lunch yesterday; it was as though they actually enjoyed spending time together. From afar they actually looked and sounded like a real family; a group of people who genuinely cared about the wellbeing of each other. Like they were joined not just by obligation, but by mutual, unconditional affection, that only comes from sharing most of life’s moments together.
“Ah Alex, yuh finally come out of that room,” Sherry said, looking over at her daughter with a bright smile.
Alex shrugged, came in and pulled up a seat next to Leon, who shot her one of his usual playful grins.
“How was your New Year’s service thing yesterday? You didn’t talk about it at lunch yesterday,” Rachel asked, looking up at her expectantly.
Alex shrugged, ignoring Sonti’s sarcastic smile, “it was fine, typical church service,” she said.
Sherry was the last to join the table, and when she did, she had company. It was Reuben, looking as sharp as usual in a plain white Polo T-Shirt and black Jeans, his thick hair a little over grown but adding a hint of rugged attractiveness to his genuine looks. He was wearing that warm smile of his that Alex was sure held the power to upset the patterns of nature and it was directed right at her.
Sherry sat on the opposite end, facing Ryan down the length of the table and Alex shrunk with discomfort at the look they gave each other, and then even more at the look Reuben gave to her.
“Oh before we start, we have a man of God among us so...” Sherry looked directly at Alex and smiled, “Alex yuh want to bless the food for us?”
Alex shot her a warning glance and shook her head slightly but Sherry persisted, “please Al, I really like how you start going to church and so on, I would love for you to pray.”
Alex lowered her gaze, wary of all the curious eyes now resting on her, and stewing at her mother’s smart attempt to infuriate her. She cleared her throat and took a deep breath.
“Uh...Lord Jesus, thanks for this food and everyone here... um... and for helping us all through the new year, together as... uh together, in Jesus name, Amen.”
She lifted her head and her eyes met his, he nodded slightly and reached for his fork.
“Is so good to have you... um what is it? Reuben right?”
Sherry was leaning toward Reuben with a wide smile that seemed to threaten the elasticity of her face.
Reuben nodded, “That’s right, thank you so much for inviting me to have lunch with you guys, I didn’t intend to take up on your family time.”
Sherry waved a hand at him and giggled, “Nonsense, a friend of Alex always welcome to eat with us.”
Alex snorted and gagged on a mouthful, it was somewhat painful watching the impressionist at work. Even more astonishing was the subtle way she seemed to have perfected the art, so much so that everyone surrounding the table seemed to believe it themselves. That they were one big happy common-law family, who entertained guests regularly and said grace before dinner. Alex was sure Sherry didn’t even know her best friend’s name.
Reuben, still smiling, turned to Alex, “you have a lovely family Alex, you should’ve introduced me sooner?”
Alex grunted and hunched over her plate, avoiding Sonti’s quizzical frown, her plastic lashes sweeping over Reuben and then Alex, like a villain sorceress, scooping out new subjects for her fiendish plot.
Despite the fact that when she’d gotten home New Year’s day she’d promised herself that she was done with Reuben, that nothing he could say or do could convince her that he was different, she was happy to see him here. And before he approached her after lunch she could see the remorse oozing off of him and she knew he meant what he said when he said he was sorry.
; “It’s fine,” she said.
They were sitting in the living room, all the others had retreated to their various areas as always; Sherry and Ryan were on the balcony upstairs finishing the bottle of Champagne and that’s as far as Alex would let her imagination go. Leon was in his bedroom working on his assignment, Rachel could be heard in the back yard throwing her ball against the wall. Sonti was a mystery as usual.
“No it’s not,” Reuben countered, “I know that I acted like a jerk and I know I might have hurt your feelings. I need you to understand that it had nothing to do with you, you’re a great person, am just... I’ve got a lot on my plate right now.”
Alex nodded, “I guess I could understand that, and she’s really pretty too, so I could imagine how it must hurt to lose her,” she said swallowing a feeling she’d never experienced so strongly before; jealousy.
He nodded, looking gloomy for a while; then he looked up at her with a smile, “but that’s all over now, I promise. Lisa is… history. Tomorrow I have to go pick something up for my mother; I want you to come along, if it’s not a problem of course. My friend suggested we take some time to really get to know each other and hopefully avoid disputes like these. Plus I could use your input.”
“And would that friend happen to be the mysterious James?” she asked.
He grinned, “so you did meet him?”
“Enough times to give him the green light, he must be a really great friend?”
Reuben nodded, a distant, thoughtful look in his chocolate brown eyes, “Um... yes, he’s alright.”
“And by the way, I would love to hang out with you tomorrow,” she said, and maybe in the next couple years I could reveal that my family is in fact the most dysfunctional one you may ever come upon.
She dropped her weight heavily on a bench outside the mall and bowed her head on her knee, “I can’t go another step. I refuse to,” she whined breathlessly.
Reuben chuckled, “just one more store, come on Alex. Besides the car is parked right here, not much walking to get back… I’ll buy you a drink.”
Alex looked up at him exasperatedly, “when you said you had to pick something up, I assumed you already knew where you were going, or more importantly, what you were picking up. Look we’re right back where we started.”
She stood up and planted her arms on her hips, “I will take you up on that drink though.
Reuben smiled, hiking his bag strap up on his shoulder, “I’m a man of my word.”
“I like people who keep their word,” she said as she started walking toward another store.
It was a small jewellery store, small but captivating. Elegant chandeliers hung from the ceiling, casting celestial white rays on the polished glass cases holding fine pieces of silver, gold and shimmering stone.
“Even if we do find something here, I doubt you could afford it,” said Alex.
But Reuben wasn’t fazed by the possibility of not being able to afford it, as far as he saw, he’d been enjoying the fruits of a life he couldn’t afford for a long time now, and he valued his mother so much that he would empty his entire savings to make her birthday special, even with her inevitable scolding.
He stepped forward and started perusing the pieces on display, his brows drawn in concentration. Alex shrugged and followed.
In the glass case on her right were rows of shiny silver and gold angel ornaments. Her gaze fell on a stooping angel, leaning upon his sword like a champion of battle, his lean arms visible beneath his broad wings, raised high on his back as he looked up reverently.
“Can I see that one please?” she pointed to the armed angel until the waiting salesman picked it up and placed it before her.
Reuben leaned over her shoulder, the heat from his face warming hers.
“I’ve always had a thing for angels, and it has nothing to do with my name” she said, pausing to breathe. He was way too close for her sanity.
“My dad used to tell me all these wonderful things. Those were the days I actually liked being called Angel.”
Reuben reached out and picked up the silver ornament, turning it around in his hands with a thoughtful frown, deliberately avoiding her eyes, “what kind of wonderful things?” he asked.
She shrugged, turning slightly so she could see his expression, and also put some distance between them.
“He used to tell me how powerful they are, how God sometimes sends them here on earth to bring divine messages,” she was smiling dreamily now, looking down at the others as she recalled her father’s angel stories.
“They’re supposed to be the most beautiful creatures, and we’re all supposed to have one of them watching over us.”
“Guardian angels,” Reuben said.
She smiled up at him, “yeah, this one must be a war angel. If you had to be one, which would you be?”
He scrunched up his nose at the ornament looking up at him, “I don’t know, but whatever I was I would miss being me. This human being whom Christ died for, just because he loved him,” he said, as he reached over and took up one of the plastic cases he’d been looking at earlier.
“But why settle for angels Alex,” he was looking directly at her now, a hint of a smile on his handsome face, “why should you settle for silver statues when you can have something more beautiful, more powerful...” he opened the box and turned it to face her, “...more constant and so real. Why not try for a relationship with God who is more majestic than his creations, who loves you in spite of everything and would never forsake you.”
Alex looked down at the most beautiful broach she’d ever seen, not that it was elegant or glittered richly, but it was a simple gold cross with tiny costume diamonds on the face of it, fitting comfortably into the web Reuben had so carefully woven with his words. He turned it so it could catch the light and it glittered as though possessing magical, celestial qualities. In that moment she didn’t care that he was trying to preach to her.
He shrugged, “of course this is just a piece of metal and what am really referring to is Christ himself,” he said, “no one can come to the father except through him,” he looked directly at her with dancing eyes, “I am the way, I am truth, I am life,” he looked down at the pendant and pursed his lips, “this, is just a reminder of the consistency of his love.”
“It is beautiful.”
Reuben looked right at her, his eyes dancing with his smile and it felt as though there was no one else in the store but the two of them.
She looked away, breaking the spell he seemed to be casting with his smile, “Your mom would love it,” she said.
“It’s yours,” he said.
Alex looked back at him sharply, “no, I can’t.”
“Please, consider it an early birthday present,” he closed the box and lifted it toward her, “happy sixteenth birthday in advance.”
She gapped at him, feeling her stomach do a sudden somersault that made her sick, “how’d you... I didn’t say I was...”
“I know. I wasn’t surprised at how old you are, as a matter of fact I don’t really care, what bothers me is the fact that you felt you needed to lie to me,” he said this easily, like he’d perfected James way of scolding.
Alex shook her head refusing to respond, not being able to respond. She took a tentative step backward.
He leaned forward, his voice just above a whisper, “look I know life hasn’t been straight forward with you, nothing ever seems to be what it is and you feel you need to lie about things you believe make you a liability or a target. I get that, but I need you to understand that you don’t need to lie, ever.”
Alex glared at him, her grey eyes like reflective marbles, and with a snort stormed out of the store. Placing the case on the counter, he dashed out after her.
“Alex wait!”
She was leaning against the car in the parking lot when he caught up with her, standing there, arms folded across her chest and pouting rudely.
“I?
??m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you,” he said breathlessly.
She shrugged, “did you get your mom’s things?” she asked nonchalantly, lowering her gaze to hide the embarrassment staining her eyes.
He stared at her thoughtfully before he responded, “no... I wanted to be sure you were alright first, that I didn’t make you mad at me.”
She smiled wryly, “I’m fine.”
“So that’s it, you’re just gonna avoid everything, act like I said nothing at all. I’d prefer it if you were mad at me.”
“I heard you alright! What’d you expect? Me breaking down into tears as I throw myself against you, pitying myself? So I lied, who doesn’t? And don’t tell me Jesus didn’t, I’m tired of you preaching to me!”
She shook her head, looking at him with stormy eyes, her brows drawn over them in confusion, “just get your mother’s stuff will you, I’m not mad at you Reuben.”
He looked at her with a sad frown, dropping his hands to his side in resignation; then he nodded and headed back to the building, feeling like he’d made such a mess of things.
Alex sulked on their way back, refusing to even look over at Reuben, who was already feeling quite disappointed in himself, without her pouting and glaring at him while he drove. They finally pulled up in her yard. Reuben parked and looked over at her; she was already getting out.
“Alex, wait.”
She turned and looked at him blankly, “what is it?” she asked.
“Look I realize that I might be pushing a bit and I can see that it’s making you uncomfortable, but I never meant for that to come between our friendship or make things difficult between us. It’s just that I care about you, I care about what decisions you make and how they affect you, and I care about the way you look at me. Please don’t get out of the car mad at me.”
With her eyes lowered, she shook her head; he could see she was struggling with what she wanted to say, “you know how I told you back at the store how my dad always told me stories about angels?”
He nodded, wondering where this was going, particularly because of the solemnity in her voice, husky and breathy just a little above a whisper. He tried not to think about how attractive he thought that was. After all this was Alex.
“My father was usually very straightforward with me, I didn’t have much sugar coating, I think it was particularly effective because he always had a story. He told me this story once...”
Reuben was looking at her intently, the overhead car light revealing the pain evoked by this memory, now etched into her features. After a long time he was seeing the tormented girl he’d first met.
“He told me that many years ago in a far away land there was a certain impoverished village, where missionaries would always go to bring food and supplies and taught the people that some of their beliefs were wrong and dangerous to their own health.
There was a group that didn’t like them, they didn’t like what they were doing, telling them how to live and how to eat, so they ambushed two of them one night, killing one of them and they left him lying in the street until the cops came. It really scared me then; I couldn’t understand why someone would want to hurt people who only wanted to help them.”
She turned those unnerving eyes on him and frowned, shaking her head, “those people constantly rejected the help offered to them. They gave up on themselves before anyone else could and even though those brutal people were arrested and punished, that place will always be remembered for rejecting a helping hand. My father wasn’t a religious guy, but you know what he wanted me to learn from that Reuben?”
“What?”
“That you don’t disregard people just because they tell you the truth,” her eyes were bright, so much so that Reuben was afraid she might cry. He didn’t know if he could handle Alex crying.
“I had no right to get mad at you, I just felt...you pointed out to me something I would’ve never admitted,” she looked up at him and grimaced, “I’m a liar, just like my mom, just like my father, just like Ryan... I was just pretending to be better than they were. I feel like I can trust you to be honest with me.”
She sighed, looking at him with less indifference; she bit her lip thoughtfully, wrung her hands in her lap for a moment, then reached over and hugged him.
Reuben slipped his arms around her and closed his eyes, breathing in her smell and recognizing with a bit of confusion that he liked it and knew it. She made him feel a way he had not felt in a long time. When they finally let go and they looked at each other, both were smiling.
“Have a good evening, tell your mom I said happy birthday.”
He smiled, squinting his eyes, “I’ve got a better idea. Come to the little party we’re having tomorrow, it’ll be a good opportunity for you guys to meet, what do you say?”
She smiled, “I’d love to,” she replied, holding his gaze for longer than was appropriate.
She got out of the car and shut the door behind her, then leaned through the window and graced him with one of her rare smiles, “thank you for caring, I’ll see ya tomorrow.”
“Alex?”
She turned around, “yeah?”
He pursed his lips, “uh… have a good night.”
She nodded, was still smiling at him, but there was a hint of something in her eyes that made his heart soar. Something good was happening. As she hurried up the drive, Reuben grinned excitedly, he didn’t know what he was so excited about, but it thrilled him to feel like this after such a long time. He took one last look at the house, then frowned as he started the car.
“She’s an angry sixteen year old, Reuben,” he muttered as he pulled out onto the street.