CHAPTER ELEVEN
Blinking away the fog, Gnak found his arms empty and looking around him he realized that he was not where he should be. Below him a floor of stone leeched a cold chill into his armor, the surface riddled with slippery lichen, moss, and mold. Confused, he rose and explored his surroundings, finding himself trapped in a room of the same cold stone. No light shone in the damp place, the smell of decay within it pervasive. Seeking the outer wall, he followed it from corner to corner until he had inspected it in entirety, yet still no escape presented itself. In life, he was now just as alone as he was in his heart.
Defeated he turned, the breath catching in his chest, as he witnessed that which few mortals would ever share with him. Out of naught but darkness a shape coalesced, forming of the deepest shadows, it became more and more solid with each passing second.
Watching, Gnak dared not speak as the form grew in size, shape, and definition. It was a woman. Human, so far as he could tell. She was small, petite, with milky white skin and charcoal black hair that fell behind her in a long cascade. Upon her body, like he, she wore black armor that clung to her curves like a lover, accentuating her every perfection. But it was not the vision that stood before him that made him uncomfortable. No. It was her feeling. Gnak could feel the woman even though paces stood between them. Looking upon her, feeling the power she gave off, he knew what she was and he felt insignificant in her presence.
Watching as the process that created her slowed to completion, she turned to face him, and again his breath caught. She could have been Jen’s Ma, so alike were their features, the eyes alone setting them apart. For all the human that stood before him, it was the eyes that told him he stood in the presence of more. In her eyes no color shone. No white orbs sat within the sockets. Instead a hollow black that searched through his soul, looking through him to the core of his being. In those depths he could see infinity and knew that no matter his deeds, to her he was but a speck of dust in a vast ocean.
To his knees the proud Orc fell, prostrating himself before the tiny woman, his head bowing to touch the floor beneath him. A floor that made no sound as she approached.
“You dare to make demands of me?” Her strong voice filled the room.
It took several moments to piece a clear answer together, so distraught, confused, and pathetic he felt, but finally he decided upon one.
“No, goddess. Ask help. No demand.”
“You did demand, pathetic Orc. Who are you to command me?”
Again he struggled, discarding words, wishing he had a better command of the common tongue.
“No demand. No command. Gnak dumb Orc. Ask help. Serve.”
“You think that I should help one so pathetic as you?”
“Not think. Pray,” Gnak replied.
“What is it that you want, tiny Orc that you pray I help you?”
Gnak had the distinct feeling that she knew his answers before he spoke them, knew them even before she had appeared, but still he pieced together the thoughts to create the words he hoped would best convey his meaning.
“Want Jen back. No dead. Bring back.”
“You wish to bring back the dead? That is a great power, a great responsibility. What if it does not give you the satisfaction you seek? What if she hates you?”
“Bring back. I fix. Give precious life. Make OK.”
“Is that what you want, tiny Orc?”
“Yes, goddess.”
“And what will you do for me in return of this power?”
“I serve. I do you wish. All time. No ask.”
“You will serve me blindly, trust in my words, and ask no questions?”
“Yes. Trust like Jen.”
“And if your plans are ruined?”
“My decision. My fault. I serve,” Gnak answered, uncomfortably feeling that she knew the future and warned him of an impending doom that approached him, but he wanted more time with Jen at any cost. She alone could help him to make his people better. For a moment the goddess looked down upon him, a maelstrom of possibilities laying somewhere deep inside the black orbs that stood where her eyes should have been. Finally she spoke again, her voice both commanding and haunting, the sounds not matching the movements of her lips.
“Very well, pathetic Orc. I will give you the power you seek in return for unquestioning service. You can use the power to your own devices if you wish, but such power has consequence. Return to your people and use my gift to unite them. Create for me an army unlike any other seen upon Thurr.”
“Yes, goddess,” Gnak replied, the emptiness inside him seeming to subside.
“I am not finished, slave. Return to Thurr, and call me by name. Tell those that serve you that you serve me. Build me temples. Build me an empire. When this is done, I will send to you another of my servants and you will join him, and together you will conquer my enemies.”
“Yes, Ishanya. I serve. Your name, I tell.”
“Then I will open your eyes, tiny Orc, and show you what you need to revive those returned to the gods. You will recognize it, and you can summon it to you, but be wary, little Orc, you serve me, and if I see otherwise I will put you to an end without hesitation.”
Then she was gone. He sat upon the stone floor a long moment, wondering if she had been there at all. Deep inside he believed that she had been. That he had been in the presence of a god. That she had made him a bargain that suited his situation perfectly. She said he could bring Jen back. He could unite his people. He would build temples and cities and more, and eventually he would conquer whatever she wished. Gnak pressed his hands to the floor, pushing himself up as if to rise, when the dizziness overtook him.
With his world spinning, again the fog enveloped him and again he felt the tug to his mind. Clenching his eyes closed he ground his teeth, waiting for the feeling to relent. And then it was gone. Blinking again, he focused on those around him. They stood staring at him, their eyes wide and mouths hung open. Had he spoken his words in this place too? Had they heard him bargain with a god?
It didn’t matter. First he needed to figure out how to bring back Jen. Looking down to his arms he found that he still cradled her there. Her flesh grew darker, the veins standing in stark contrast to her skin. Shuffling his legs beneath him, in an effort to stand, he watched as her head tilted back slightly, her small mouth falling open. And then he saw it.
Like a small swirling orb of light, it came from her mouth and floated slowly up into the air. Not knowing what else to do, he pulled one arm out from beneath her tiny body and snapped the shimmering orb out of the air, closing his fingers around it. He could feel it… To him his hand glowed strangely.
It was not the sensation of holding an object in your hand, at least not on the surface of the skin. Instead it was a warmth, within his hand, a warmth that emanated up his arm, making it tingle strangely. He could feel the eyes of the clan upon him, and reminded himself that they could not see that which he now could.
Opening his hand once more, he turned his palm up and watched as the glowing orb extricated itself from his control, beginning to rise once again. He grabbed it.
Not knowing what else to do, he pressed his hand to Jen’s tiny chest, feeling the ragged edges of the wound beneath it, and waited. Nothing happened.
Lifting his hand once again, he sought out the orb but it was gone. Angered by his failure, knowing he would be without her after all, his emotions began to build within him again. Then she shuddered. The crowd of Orcs gasped.
She shuddered again, and Gnak watched unblinking. Her eyes, having rolled back into her head, blinked twice and again her pupils resumed their normal orientation. Gnak held his breath, his heart swelling, he was unable to contain his happiness as tears streamed unchecked down his face.
Her mouth moved then. Open and closed it worked, as she raised her tiny arms and wiggled her fingers, rubbing the stiffness from her flesh. Then finally, her eyes met his, as if she had just realized he was there, and she spoke.
“Hi, Gnak,” she sa
id, a strange wheezing sound coming from her chest with the words.
“I bring you back, Jen,” Gnak replied.
“I know you will. Can I go home now?” she asked, the wheezing a bit more than distracting.
“Not back home, Jen. I bring back life.”
Realization seemed to strike her, and remembering the details of what had been, she looked down to the wicked hole in her chest and screamed. The Orcs surrounding them backed up, but Gnak was unafraid. He held her close, and waited for her pain to pass, and when the screaming and wheezing stopped he relaxed his hold and again looked her in the face.
“I bring back. You heal. Gnak take home. All fix.”
Her big eyes turned back upon him, understanding spreading across her features as she tilted her head and began to pray. Gnak listened and watched as her expression began to change again. She stopped suddenly, confusion on her face, and began anew. This time she repeated her prayer louder. She stopped again, looking to him with tears in her eyes. Then she yelled the words, praying frantically as the tears streamed down either side of her face. Her magic was gone. She could not heal.
Pulling her securely to his chest he stood, and lowering his head to her hair he spoke to the small girl in his arms.
“I fix, Jen. See shaman. He heal. He no heal, we go humans. Humans heal. I take home. I fix. I promise.”
Eventually her sobs stopped, and he looked out upon all the faces staring back at him. Finally the Orcs showed emotion. Some looked at them with fear. Others stared in confusion or disbelief and others in horror. Some were proud, excited, and a few even shared in their sorrowful reunion, the corners of their eyes moist with either sadness or happiness. Gnak could not tell.
Grasping the back of the collar that still bound her to a stake in the ground, he tore the leather bindings and let it fall to the sand below. Turning, the Orcs parted before him as he carried her into their camp, striding straight to the shaman’s tent.
It was near an hour before the shaman arrived. He had been in the crowd they had left behind, and apparently needed some time to get his own thoughts together before he returned. When he did, he entered his tent deliberately and sat down upon his knees opposite Gnak and Jen.
Gnak looked at his somber face, Jen in his lap leaning back against his chest. She had not spoken, at least not yet, and he wondered what led her to silence. He would ask her but he knew that she needed her wounds treated first. So together they watched the shaman sit and regard them for several moments before he spoke.
“Gnak. Some Orc say you talk god. Some Orc say no talk god. What say Gnak?”
Gnak considered the question, realizing the shaman’s delay in returning to his home. There had been a discussion about Jen and him, some of the Orcs skeptical of what they had seen.
“Gnak talk god. Make deal.”
“So say me to them… God no Orc god yes?”
“God human god. Orc god. All god.”
“God name Ishanya?”
“Yes,” Gnak confirmed.
Gnak watched as the shaman pondered his words for many long moments before he began collecting herbs and clay jars of substances with healing properties, and began to mix them in a bowl. Crushing the ingredients together with a large bone, the shaman stirred and mixed, all the while looking from Gnak to Jen and back again.
“Why god deal you?” the shaman asked after a long silence.
“Not know. Kill giant king?” he guessed.
To be honest, he had no idea why the goddess had answered his plea. He assumed it was like the goblin king and him. He needed help, and had offered something in return, and a deal was struck. He had made a friend of the goblin king, and hoped his relationship with the goddess would be much the same.
The shaman then added some water to the concoction and, stirring it again, created a thick paste. Though she was shy, as she was just starting to become a woman, the shaman had Jen remove her shirt and packed the concoction into the wounds upon both her chest and back, binding it in place with a long strip of cloth before allowing her to again adorn her clothing.
“Leave cloth, many day. Big wound. Heal slow, if heal,” the shaman instructed.
The doubt was evident in the shaman’s voice, but Gnak had seen a miracle already this day and as such had no fears of the wound not healing.
Grunting his understanding of the instructions, Gnak began to rise, carefully helping Jen do the same. Then, looking down to her he spoke, just as much to her as to the shaman.
“This night Gnak captain of tribe. Have Orcs. Make command. No this night. No. We go eat. We rest. Orcs think this night. We see next night, Orcs think Gnak.”
“OK, Gnak,” Jen replied. “I am tired,” she added, turning back to the shaman.
“Thank you for your help,” she told the Orc, to a replied grunt.
Together Gnak and Jen crossed the camp, her following his lead as he first approached the cooking fires. Orcs of all ages watched them pass, some pointing or speaking to those nearest to them, but none spoke to Gnak or Jen. Instead they watched as he cut the small human girl several strips of roasted meat and hacked a large slab for himself as well. Collecting a large clay bowl of water as he left, Gnak led Jen back to his tent, where they settled on the floor facing one another and began eating.
They ate in silence as they had the first time they shared a meal, and just like then, Jen looked to him an odd expression on her face. He knew she was about to ask him a question.
“How did you make a deal with Ishanya?”
“Gnak mad. Chest hurt. Yell loud. God hear.”
“I’m glad you brought me back, Gnak. I wasn’t afraid to die, and I’m still not, but I would like to grow up first.”
“Is good. Grow up. Gnak think good you back.”
“Me too, Gnak. Meee too,” she said nodding her head enthusiastically.
They ate the rest of their meal in silence before preparing to get some sleep. Both were exhausted, and as such they curled up facing each other across the tent, each of them upon a soft pile of furs. Gnak listened to the wheezing sound in her chest as he drifted off, hoping that in the days to come it would diminish. The sound frightened him.
The following day came and went, with little to no activity. Night fell around the Orc camp and the Orcs finally climbed out of their tents, many preparing for a hunt as if nothing had happened. Some delayed, watching nonchalantly as Gnak and Jen exited his tent, but they ignored the looks from those who lingered out of curiosity. Jen seemed in good spirits, though she appeared even paler than the day before. Gone was the gauntness of her skin, as her body absorbed the nutrients she sorely needed after being starved and beaten. Happy she was recovering, he decided to show her his home.
Guiding the human girl about the camp, he pointed out different tents of importance, naming their owners, and telling of great deeds each had done or great kills they had made. She seemed not to recognize the shaman’s tent, but in the state she was in when she had visited it he could not blame her.
It wasn’t until they reached the southern edge of the camp that he watched as several Orcs out upon the dunes hacked and stabbed at the giant whose corpse remained, cutting the beast into manageable sized pieces.
Realizing he had paused in his walk he looked down to Jen, who stared back at him blankly as if her mind had wandered. Thinking it better that perhaps she did not witness the butchering of the giant he led her on, further still, the night growing darker around them. Before the moons topped the sky and began to fall, he led her once again to his tent where they talked of his bargain with the goddess.
“If you made a deal with Ishanya, what does she want from you in return?” Jen asked.
“She want trust. Want me be chief. Want me make all clans one. Want me build temple.”
“Do you think that you should start? What if she gets mad?”
“Not get mad. Gnak tell Ishanya, you life precious. She no get mad. After Jen heal Gnak do promise.”
“Is that all you
and… Oh my, I’ve forgotten her name,” Jen giggled.
“Ishanya.”
“Yeah, her. Is that all you talked about with the god? I only ask cause I would have so many questions if ever I met a god.”
“Ishanya say me small. Say bring you back, maybe no good. Say go bad. I tell god I owe this. I bring back, make right. Gnak need Jen make Orcs better. Jen make Gnak better.”
Gnak watched as her little face beamed with pride, a smile crossing her lips as he concluded.
“Aw, Gnak. I like you too.”
On and on they talked, late into the night, with nothing better to do. Gnak was glad she was doing well. The shaman’s words, along with Ishanya’s warning, had worried him. But all was progressing well. Soon Jen would heal and he would leave with her and retrace their steps back to the human camp. When she was safe he could return to his people and begin doing as he had sworn to the goddess. For now he would enjoy her company and continue to learn from her. He did not look forward to taking her home, and being alone without her again. She had changed his life so much, her absence would leave a void in him. Of that he was certain. But so too was he certain that she needed her own people.
Watching Jen settle into her pile of furs, tossing and turning for a short while, he waited until she was asleep before he let go and drifted off as well. It was the middle of the day when he awoke abruptly to the choking and gagging sounds in his tent.
Sitting up abruptly, his eyes snapped open just in time to witness Jen folding nearly in half as she vomited uncontrollably upon the floor of his tent. Wracked by convulsions again and again, she spewed the contents of her stomach upon the ground. Climbing from his bed of furs, he was clueless as to what he could do to be of assistance. Not knowing what else he could offer, he approached the small girl and placed his hand upon her shoulder in reassurance as the spasms passed.
When she was certain she was done, she apologized, but Gnak laid her back down in bed and prepared to remove the foul smelling pile of vomit. Collecting a bucket and large piece of flat stone he scraped the vile mess from his floor into the bucket, sure not to leave any behind. Then, leaving the camp, he strode out into the sand and buried the vomit, filling the bucket with dry sand and dumping it again several times.
Assured his bucket was clean, and sniffing it for proof, he filled it with fresh sand and returned to his tent, replacing what he had removed. Then, with as kind a grin as he could manage, he handed the bucket to Jen with a shrug.
She took his meaning, situating the bucket next to her in case she needed to vomit further. Gnak settled back in bed and both of them eventually found sleep again without interruption for the rest of the daylight hours.
Night came and Jen appeared very much recovered. Her skin looked plump and firm once more, and finally she appeared like the child that she was. Gnak again felt reassured that her health was on the right track. Perhaps humans needed bread and cheese with their meat. Maybe she had simply eaten too much. It did not matter so long as she was recovering.
On this night he related the tale to her, as best he could, of his time spent with the goblins. It was a long tale and took most of the night, but waiting until he finished patiently, Jen had several questions when he concluded.
“Do you think the goblins got their gold?”
“Me think, yes.”
“What was it like riding on the head of the giant?”
“Was big. Feel proud. Know see you. Make happy,” he said to her replied grin. It was an odd warm feeling, making a child smile, and he liked it very much.
“Did the goblin… um…?”
Gnak watched as she struggled for the word she sought, her face scrunching up and lips puckering as she concentrated.
“You know, their leader…”
“Goblin king?”
“Yes, exactly. Did the goblin king… hmm. I forgot my question,” she said with a look of defeat.
“Almost day. You tired.”
“It’s OK, Gnak, it’s just a headache. Maybe if I get some…Oh dear…”
“Sleep,” Gnak said.
“Yes, sleep. Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel better.”
Gnak laid awake for hours watching the small girl sleep. Something was amiss, and he planned to watch her carefully. In a few days they would return to the shaman and have her wound checked. Not thinking straight and forgetting words sounded all too familiar to Gnak. He could not help but wonder if her wound had become infected.
For several days he watched her as she complained about her head hurting. Occasionally she vomited, and her skin had become puffy and taut. She was having more and more trouble completing thoughts and sentences. He dared wait no longer.
Leading the small girl to the shaman’s tent, he thrust his head inside. Within the tent, the shaman turned to face him and, seeing no one else inside, Gnak pulled open the flaps and steered Jen in with him. The shaman sighed, looking at the girl and shaking his head.
“She no heal,” the shaman stated with a simple look at Jen’s face.
“You look. You see. You fix,” Gnak stated, trying to sound neither demanding nor pleading.
“I look. You no like,” the shaman warned, and came to stand before Jen.
Gnak watched as the shaman lifted her arms and tugged her shirt up and over her head. This time she did not wince, her shame having apparently left her. Leaning over the small child, the shaman carefully unlaced the fabric he had bound her small torso in nearly ten days before.
Appearing moist, the fabric was discolored, growing darker with each layer the shaman unwrapped. When he neared the end, a foul smell filled the tent making both Orcs curl their upper lips. Jen did not seem to notice. She simply stood staring off into the distance, her eyes unfocused.
As the shaman unwound the final layer of fabric, pulling it back, the flesh came with it, tearing away from her body like slabs of half dried mud. Beneath the flesh pus oozed, and unwrapping the puncture wounds in both her chest and back, maggots poured from the holes, the foul stench becoming a thousand times worse. Gnak nearly vomited, not because of the smell or what he saw, but what he felt.
Grasping the cloth bandaging, he quickly wound it back around the small girl, tucking the loose edge within the previous layer before snatching up her shirt and tugging it back over her head. The shaman pointed a finger at Jen, turning a stern gaze upon Gnak.
“Girl gone. This dead. Put down.”
Gnak shook his head, snatching up Jen in his arms and fleeing the tent in a rush. All but sprinting back to his own tent, he burst through the flaps just as his tears burst forth from his own eyes. He had done something wrong. It had not worked right. The goddess had warned him but he had not understood. He hated being a stupid Orc, and setting Jen upon her bed he punched himself in the head repeatedly. He had failed her. Again.
For more than two hours he just sat watching her sit across from him with a blank stare on her face. She was still in there. He knew she was. He talked to her every day. He could not do what the shaman said. He could not kill her, not if she could recover. She just needed more time. So he waited.
The entire night passed and Jen did not move. Day came and she did not sleep. Still Gnak watched. It was three hours past dark again when she shuddered suddenly, her eyes blinking rapidly.
“Hi, Gnak,” Jen said, her voice filled with cheer.
The wheezing had returned. Gnak figured it was because there were not enough maggots to fill the holes in her chest and back. He tried to smile at her, but he choked upon the false action, a sob escaping him.
“Gnak. What’s the matter?” she asked, rushing to his side.
“I fail you. You not live. Inside dead. Shaman no fix. Soon you die.” Gnak managed through his emotions.
“Gnak. What’s the matter?” she asked, and Gnak looked to her tiny confused face.
She had forgotten what had happened just seconds before. He wondered if she would be lucid ever again. Or at least, this lucid. Pulling her into his arms he stroked her ti
ny head, appalled as a piece of her scalp tore away, the hair becoming tangled in his fingers. Removing it from his hand without her noticing, as a means to not startle her, he pushed her back away from his chest and looked into her large eyes.
“Gnak no good. Gnak sorry fail. I take Jen away. Stay with. You die.” He laid out his plan.
Staring into his, face she didn’t even blink. She had disappeared again.
“You go sleep…”Gnak began, but before he could finish she rose from his lap and stalked across the tent, plopping herself down upon the pile of furs opposite him.
“Jen?”
No answer.
So his decision was made. When light came in the morning and most Orcs took to their tents for rest, he would take her into the woods to the north upon the mountainside. There he would stay with her until she died. Again.
He never slept that night, instead watching the small girl slumber, if that’s what she did. He pondered where he had went wrong, thinking that perhaps she had been right again. Maybe he had angered the goddess by not working to carry out his end of the bargain. Maybe he had brought her back incorrectly. Maybe she had been dead too long when he brought her back. He had no way to be sure. All he was certain of was his failure.
He had failed to let her return home when she had asked after saving his life. He had failed to give her the riches he promised. He had failed her by allowing her to be captured by his peers. He had failed her by allowing one of them to kill her. Again he had failed her by using his gift, given by a god, improperly. And now he would fail her again, as again she had to die, because of him. It was a dark and empty feeling that lasted for hours, but while he dwelled upon his failures the day had come.
Angered with himself, he left the tent and set about gathering supplies. Stomping from place to place, he gathered a leather sack and stuffed it full of meat, rope, and a skin filled with water. Returning to his tent, he rolled Jen in the fur she slept upon and carried her from his home, snatching up a spear as he left. With the sun blazing, he crossed the miles of sand until he reached the grassy land beyond. Then, further still he hiked into the forest at the base of the mountains.
High he climbed, where other Orcs were not likely to follow, and where it was cold. It was a sick reason, perhaps, but he knew she would not rot as fast in the cold and even unthinking, her presence comforted him.
For weeks he stayed with her, watching her deteriorate, as it slowly tore him apart. He watched as her scalp and hair slid from atop her head and tore free to settle upon the cold stones beneath them and her eyes ruptured only to deflate and fall from her skull. He watched as the flesh from her fingers tore when she bent them, and broke away leaving little nubs. He watched as great slabs of her skin were left behind as she sought to rise from laying down or sitting. He watched still as her muscle and other tissues turned slowly into a thick black fluid and she was rendered immobile. Still he stayed at her side waiting.
Though it was painful, and he, not she, suffered the torture of her slow death, to Gnak it had been worth it to not put her down. She had had two more days with moderate periods of lucidity and he used them to express to her his regret of failing her and not listening to her. He told her that all would be OK, and comforted her when she realized what it was that was happening, but that had been more than ten days ago. In her final moments of conscious thought, he promised her that he would carry on to see the god’s desires fulfilled, and at the same time he would teach his people that there was more to life than pride and courage. All that was left for him was waiting.
It was three days after her last movement that the little ball of swirling light left her. Unable to let her go, he again snatched it out of the air, and held it close.
It took him three more days of experimentation, but when he was done he was both satisfied and prepared to return to camp. One last time he focused himself inward, and located the small orb of Jen’s light and willed it into his hand. He felt the warmth, and felt the transition as it exited his body, coalescing in his palm. Then, as he had done hundreds of times, he drew it back into himself. Jen was with him. Rising, he strode down the mountainside.
It would be a long walk, but he did not care. Gnak had a promise to keep, both to his goddess and to Jen. He had a plan, and had thought it through several times, but in order to pull it off he had to kill a few Orcs. Sometimes to save many you had to kill a few, and Gnak could live with that. After all, he had an empire to build.
“Gnak wish Jen here,” he said into the empty air, setting his pace for the long journey back home alone.
“I am here,” her small voice replied inside his head.
-End
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Fallen Crown
Books by Jeremy Laszlo
Clad in Shadow (Poetry for a Burdened Soul)
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About the Author
I live in southern Louisiana with my wife and children, and work full time as a civilian employed by the federal government. I like to spend time with my family and am excited that we will soon have a new addition in Feburary of 2014.
I spend as much time as I am able writing, but also enjoy downtime with the wife and kids, and am a bit of a movie buff as well. I thrive on sarcasm and nerdism and am currently addicted to The Big Bang Theory amongst other things.
Fantasy has always been my reading genre of choice, though I am picky about who and what I read, and I refuse to read a series out of order. I have been known to devour entire sagas in mere days, emerging only when necessary for survival.
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