Chapter 5
Over the course of the next few weeks, Trent continued to pursue Holly. He never made her feel bad for what had or had not happened. His attention to her was unwavering. In the beginning, she liked it. He consistently called every evening when he thought she might be home from work, and his calls were coming as regularly as her scheduled call to her mother. He made it a point to walk past her office and ‘peep in just to say hi’ almost every day. Their conversations were still always interesting, and Trent began to speak freely about how he was falling in love with her, and his feeling as though he couldn’t live without her. Holly would remind Trent of how she wanted to take things slowly, and when she did, he would immediately say he understood, while at the same time continuing to express his growing affections for her. Trent was becoming more and more persistent; wanting to know her plans, what she was doing, who she was doing it with, when she would be home… details, details, details.
His persistence was starting to feel like obsession. He wanted to know her every move. When Holly didn’t answer the phone right away, he would question her as to why? If he didn’t see her in the office, he wanted to know where she was and who she had been with. Whenever Holly would say something about it, Trent would immediately curtail his questioning, saying ‘he couldn’t help it,’ that ‘he just wanted to make sure she was okay;’ anything to minimize his incessant inquiries. His attentiveness began to weigh heavily on Holly. She was becoming increasingly uncomfortable but wasn’t quite sure if she was being hypersensitive or whether there was really something to be concerned about. It was becoming unsettling… Holly knew that for sure.
They had gone out a few more times, and although they always seemed to have a good time, Holly began to notice more and more some things she wasn’t quite comfortable with. One afternoon while she and Trent were taking a leisurely afternoon stroll in Piedmont Park, Holly ran into a young man she knew from her old neighborhood.
Holly and the young man chatted briefly, catching up on old times. She and Michael had been good friends back in the day, and Holly was excited to see him. As they spoke and played catch up, Holly noticed that Trent’s demeanor changed. Of course, Holly had introduced Trent to Michael as soon as he had walked over to where they had been standing. Michael and Trent exchanged a cordial greeting and a handshake, but Trent looked extremely uncomfortable to the point that Holly noticed the change in his disposition.
Holly and Michael finished their conversation after a few moments, promising to stay better in touch. They gave each other a friendly hug, Michael gave a parting salutation to Trent, and Holly and Trent continued on their walk.
Before Michael could get out of earshot, Trent began to quiz Holly about just how well she knew Michael.
“So, how long has it been since you’ve seen your ‘friend’?” Trent asked sarcastically.
Holly could hear the contempt in Trent’s voice but tried to dismiss it.
“We grew up together, that’s all,” Holly said nonchalantly. They walked a few steps further.
“That’s all? Are you sure? The way he was smiling and hugging on you didn’t say just childhood friends from where I was standing!” Trent continued, with disdain in his voice.
Holly stopped walking and turned to face him. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Her exchange with Michael had been innocent and she didn’t like the tone in Trent’s’ voice in the least.
“Excuse me?” Holly began. Now she was pissed.
“First of all, I already told you Mike and I grew up together… that’s it! He’s a friend I haven’t seen in a long time. What? I was supposed to ignore him because we are together?” Holly didn’t wait for a reply. The question was rhetorical and she wanted to make sure Trent knew that. “I don’t think so!” Holly began walking again quickly, not waiting to see if Trent was coming.
“Holly… Holly!” he called to her. Trent waited for a moment to see if she would stop and acknowledge his call. When she didn’t Trent called to her again, jogging to catch up.
“Holly, I know you hear me calling you?”
He finally caught up with her, grabbing her hand, trying to get her to stop.
“I’m sorry,” Trent offered, working his way in front of Holly who had continued walking.
Holly tried to sidestep Trent who was blocking her way. He reached out, stopping her forward motion. “Holly, for real, I’m sorry… come on…” Trent said. “Don’t be mad… okay?”
Holly stopped. She was still pissed; not convinced Trent was truly apologetic.
“That was completely uncalled for,” Holly said. “What? You don’t believe we were just friends? I mean… seriously Trent!”
“I said I was sorry,” Trent replied.
His voice was a little stern. Holly recoiled from the harsh tone. Trent noticed Holly’s adverse reaction and tried to smooth it over.
“Holly… Holly… come on baby, you know I didn’t mean it like that.” He said attempting to placate his prior misstep.
Holly wasn’t buying it.
That boyish, charming look, replaced the scowl that had previously been on Trent’s face.
“I don’t know what came over me… I didn’t mean it like that… it’s just that when you were talking and laughing with him, and then he hugged you, I couldn’t help but be jealous…God! You make me so crazy! I am so crazy about you Holly… I know I shouldn’t have but I couldn’t help it… you understand don’t you?”
The words came hesitatingly out of Trent’s mouth, like a little kid trying to explain why he had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
“He’s my friend, that’s it!” Holly said emphatically.
“I shouldn’t have to explain myself to you, Trent,” she said, again showing her distaste for how he behaved.
“I know babe, you’re right, I know…” Trent replied, reaching for her, slowly lifting her chin and looking down into her eyes.
“I am truly sorry… it won’t happen again.”
“It better not,” Holly said, reluctantly accepting his apology.
Although they continued with their stroll through the park, the conversation between the two of them was decidedly different than before their little tiff.
Holly had a hard time reconciling Trent’s actions. Even though he had been very apologetic, there was something about how he reacted that Holly was just not okay with. She knew a little jealousy was normal, but she felt Trent’s reaction was more than just a little jealousy. Some women might have found his display endearing, but Holly did not. For her it was disconcerting. The park incident wasn’t the first time she had been a little wary of how possessive Trent was becoming.
With everything going on in Holly’s life - trying to remain focused on her career goals and trying to maintain some level of sanity in the process - her ‘relationship’ with Trent was taking a toll on her. She could no longer justify in her own head his unyielding attention. Not only was his interest becoming a little oppressive, but Holly was concerned about how the development of their ‘relationship’ could adversely affect her plans of advancement at the firm. She had noticed sideways glances from some of the other women in her office. She and Trent had been very careful, and Holly didn’t suspect anyone knew or could confirm they had been seeing each other. But thinking about the possibilities made her even more unsettled. She had walked out of her office the other day and seen Julia on the phone. When Julia heard Holly open the office door, she quickly got off the phone and told the other person she would have to speak with them later. Holly could tell from the expression on Julia’s face that the call had not been a business call; against the repeated lectures Julia preached about keeping personal and business affairs separate. Holly couldn’t help but wonder if Julia had put two and two together and started gossiping around the office.
When Holly told Blythe of her concerns, Blythe was dismissive.
“Girl they don’t know nothing; they can only speculate,” Blythe replied. “Give them
old biddies something to talk about.”
Holly wished she could be so cavalier and not pay attention to the whisperings she was certain were about her. But she couldn’t. It was really starting to bother her.
And then, her worst fears were confirmed. Holly was called into the office by one of the senior partners, Mrs. Thompson. She respected Mrs. Thompson; she was the only Black woman to make partner in the firms’ history. Holly had learned a lot from her; she respected her, watched her, and emulated her. She valued Mrs. Thompson’s opinion and insight. Mrs. Thompson had already achieved the status Holly so desired. Mrs. Thompson was a valued member of the firm, and Holly knew that as well. Holly was nervous as she made her way to the 36th floor of the office building where the senior level executives’ offices were located.
“You may go in; she’s expecting you.”
Holly was directed to Mrs. Thompson’s inner office by her executive assistant. Holly moved with trepidation as she stood immediately outside Mrs. Thompson’s door, not sure whether she should knock or wait to be summoned inside.
Mrs. Thompson looked up from her desk and saw Holly standing there. She gestured to her, inviting her in. Mrs. Thompson rose from behind her desk and crossed the expansive office rounding the front of her mahogany desk as Holly cautiously entered. This was out of the ordinary. This was not a regularly scheduled office meeting. None of the other partners were there… no other staff members were there either… just Mrs. Thompson and Holly. Holly tried to keep her knees from knocking as she stood there, not knowing quite what to do next.
“I know you are wondering why I called you into my office,” Mrs. Thompson began as she ushered Holly into a chair immediately in front of her stately desk. Mrs. Thompson continued as she positioned herself in the plush button tufted brown leather chair behind her desk.
Holly sat down nervously, her knees knocking so hard she thought Mrs. Thompson might hear. Holly’s heart was racing… she tried everything in her power to calm herself but she couldn’t deny the foreboding feelings welling up inside her.
Mrs. Thompson took a moment, before speaking. She leaned back in her executive chair and looked at Holly directly, without saying a word.
Then she spoke, “When I first began with the firm, not only was I one of the only women in a predominantly white male establishment, but I was also the only Black woman. They had never hired one before they hired me. I wanted to make sure, however, I was not the last black woman given this tremendous opportunity.” She paused briefly.
“That being said, I take a vested interest in the women of color that work for this firm; particularly those who show a great deal of promise like yourself. As you may not have noticed, I have watched you since you started working here. I have watched you mature and grow into quite an astute analyst.”
This was news to Holly. She had no idea Mrs. Thompson was paying any attention to her work at all.
She continued, “I know you have partnership aspirations Holly. A woman with your work ethic, dedication, and track record would be silly not to. But more than that, a woman in your position would be silly to allow a little office romance derail what could be a promising career.”
Mrs. Thompson never blinked; her gaze was unwavering as she spoke words so heavy laden with contempt for Holly’s choices that they hit Holly like a ton of bricks. How could she have known about Trent? Holly had tried to be so careful to maintain the status quo – never having him in her office, never going to lunch with him, never letting on in any way that they were ‘seeing each other’… or so she thought.
“Bu... but… how… wha…” Holly said stammering as she tried to interject.
Mrs. Thompson had no tolerance for anything Holly was about to say.
“It would be best for you to simply listen and not speak. It doesn’t matter the who’s, when’s, what’s, where’s, or how’s…” she said sternly. “What matters is I know.”
Holly was dumbstruck. She didn’t know if she should try to defend herself despite Mrs. Thompson’s admonishment. But there were no words… she couldn’t speak, as though the proverbial frog was really stuck in her throat. Holly sat there wide eyed - she wanted to make no admissions nor perpetrate any lies; she respected Mrs. Thompson far too much for that. So she sat there, saying nothing more.
Mrs. Thompson continued, confirming the fact that it was not necessary for Holly to respond further. Holly realized this was really not meant to be a two way conversation.
“Now, the other partners are not aware of your little situation yet. Before they do, however, become apprised of your little fling, I felt it necessary to offer you a word of advice, if you will.”
Mrs. Thompson slid her leather chair on its smooth rollers, leaned forward, and folded her hands firmly in front of her.
“If you want to continue to grow, mature, and matriculate in this firm, Ms. Jefferson, you have a decision to make… and I hope you make the right one.”
And with that, Holly was dismissed from Mrs. Thompson’s office.
Where before her knees were knocking, now they were like noodles, barely holding Holly up. She was bewildered, devastated and certainly embarrassed regarding what just transpired. Holly had no words… still.
The remainder of the day moved by slowly. Holly spent the time in her office, not talking to anyone. She tried to shake off the conversation with Mrs. Thompson and focus on the work stacked on her desk. She couldn’t. Her thoughts returned to the conversation; to how Mrs. Thompson spoke to her, and to the look on her face. Holly couldn’t concentrate. She just wanted to go home… to retreat… to shut herself off from the rest of the world.