I didn’t need to know. I already did.
“Blow down her throat. Use her like I know you want to. And I’ll let you live.”
My lungs stuck together.
And there it was.
The crux of my life. The one thing that would end up killing me. Not only my vow never to be my father but also my vow to a woman who held my fucking heart.
Either I had to hurt this woman and desecrate a body that now belonged to Tess or die.
The decision crippled me.
I would never be able to explain either situation. I wouldn’t be able to soothe Tess’s tears when she found me murdered for honouring my loyalty to her. And I wouldn’t be able to fan her happiness when she found me alive, knowing what I’d done to stay that way.
Honour was a bitch but there was no other way. I would die with no regrets. I would die being loyal.
Cursing the forming headache, I said, “If you ask your men, they’ll kindly inform you I came rather well a few hours ago. They saw the event. I’m wrung dry.” My eyes sparked, hot anger trickled down my back in a droplet of sweat. Nothing hurt anymore—only my heart. “But thanks for the offer.”
The girl’s face paled. She curled her shoulders, expecting a beating for no longer having the task assigned to her.
I wanted to pick her up and drape my jacket over her nakedness. Shit, I wanted her away from this creep and safe.
Lynx’s fingers cracked, forming into fists—the first sign of aggression. “This isn’t a negotiation, Mercer.”
“I thought that’s exactly what it was. A negotiation for my life.” Glaring, I added, “Let’s cut the crap. Name a price. Wouldn’t you rather a fat cheque rather than a messy corpse to clean?”
He laughed. “Who said I’d be the one cleaning afterward?”
The tension in the room thickened. Dante lost his joviality, pointing at the girl. “Do it. Otherwise this nice little conversation will end, and you’ll wish you’d taken the offer.”
The girl suddenly reached for my waistband, tugging it away from my tight, unwilling body. I stiffened as her small hand dove into my boxer-briefs, grabbing hold of a cock that had no fucking right to be hard.
Five hours and ten minutes.
I grabbed her wrists, shaking my head. “No, thank you. Stop.”
A cold muzzle pushed against my temple. Angry breathing hit the side of my face. “You don’t have a choice, asshole.”
Two options: die here with my pants undone and my skull shattered, or give myself another five hours for a chance at living.
A howl resonated in my soul. The monster inside couldn’t understand my hesitation but my love for Tess was stronger. It didn’t help when voices whispered permission.
“I’d rather you live, Q. Do whatever’s necessary to survive.”
“Do it, Q. I understand.”
Tess’s voice cajoled and danced, stealing everything.
Goddammit.
Removing my hands, I shut my eyes, allowing the girl to pull my cock out with her cold fingers.
Her touch was so different. Weak, unsure, full of history of other men she’d held—other bastards who’d used her body against her will.
Tess, fuck I’m sorry.
“Suck him,” Lynx demanded.
My stomach curled as the girl bowed over my hips—her breath hot on my length. My cock lurched at the subtle sensation. That piece of meat was the reason I’d been conflicted all my life—driven by genetics I wished I could delete.
I can’t do this.
I couldn’t use a slave. It would be the slippery slope hurtling my soul to hell.
My hand landed on her chin, holding her a millimetre from sucking me. “Arrêt.” Stop.
Let her blow you. Buy some time.
No matter the voices inside my head making it okay, I couldn’t.
The gun on my temple pressed harder. Lynx demanded. “You would rather die than have some woman’s spit on your cock?” He laughed. “You’re fucking unbelievable.”
A fist landed on my cheekbone, snapping my neck to the side. Two men grabbed my arms, jerking them behind my head.
“Do it.” Lynx snapped his fingers again. The girl grabbed my cock, her mouth descending, sinking down my length.
“Fuck. Stop!” I thrashed in the chair, not caring how much I hurt. I couldn’t let this woman suck me off. I couldn’t do that to her, to me, to Tess. Fuck, Tess. I’m sorry!
I bit my split lip as the girl sucked. Her teeth stayed sheathed, her tongue shy. My hands twitched, trying to get free. “Let me go, Lynx!”
My eyes closed, fighting the beast in my blood. It couldn’t be fucking happier to have a woman on her knees against her will. My cock grew harder, swelling under her licking tongue.
I want to die. I couldn’t do this.
I turned manic, thrusting up, trying to dislodge her lips. The girl moaned as I smashed against the back of her throat. In that moment I didn’t have any urge to save her. She was on their side. Fucking raping me of any choice or honour.
Lynx clapped his hands. “That’s it. Use her, Mercer. Let yourself go. You know you want to. Look how much your cock wants to.” He pressed on the girl’s neck, forcing her to sink lower, swallowing all of me—right to the base.
Fuck. Me.
My eyes wanted to roll. My balls wanted to explode. My heart wanted to fucking die.
The beast inside bayed in rapture—finally it said—finally I get a taste of the life I’ve always wanted.
It didn’t compute to the inner bastard inside that this was all against my will. I was the victim—just as much as she.
Her head bobbed up and down, her nose pressing against my belly.
“Stop. Just please—stop.” My quads tensed as the monster inside stole all decency. It wanted her. It wanted to abuse her. It wanted to come. So. Fucking. Bad.
I can’t!
I’m better than that. I’m better than him.
My stomach clenched with nausea. I was sick, an adulterer, the worst kind of man.
Her mouth increased pressure, her fingers circling below, grabbing my balls.
Two urges ran like raging rapids in my blood. One was the master I always kept buried who wanted to thrust into this slave and take. The other screamed for retribution. I wouldn’t stoop to his level—not even if it meant I might save my worthless fucking excuse for a life.
Tess deserved better. I would happily sign my death warrant if it meant I never had to cheat or lie or steal.
“Make him come, girl. Hurry up.” Lynx dictated her speed, wrenching her up and down by her hair, faster and faster until the prickles and tingles of an orgasm grew unwillingly in my blood.
My eyes widened as the beast growled inside, salivating at the thought of painting this slave’s throat in a way I’d never done.
I’d been so strong. Always saying no. Turning down offers. Refusing to destroy women.
You’re breaking every code you live by.
A groan tore from my lips as the suction from her mouth grew. The intensity of the inner fight between me and demon radiated outward. I fought harder, tearing my arms.
It didn’t do any good.
“Suck. Faster, girl!” Dante never took his eyes off my undoing as my hips surged upward involuntarily. Handing control over to the monster inside—the monster I wasn’t strong enough to fight.
The girl’s tongue swirled around the tip. So different to Tess. So unskilled and unloving compared to Tess.
My eyes burned with self-hatred. A ripple of pre-cum worked up my shaft. The girl worked harder, tasting the end, working me closer to the finish line.
The two men holding me chuckled, relaxing their hold. For a moment I hung suspended in a horrible place of ignoring my inner righteousness and coming.
It would be so easy. One thrust. Possibly two. Into the hot, wet, slippery mouth of the girl using me.
But I wouldn’t be able to live with the aftermath. I’d never forgive myself. I’d never be able to l
ook Tess in the eye again and believe I had any goodness left for her.
The girl swivelled her head, a slice of teeth hurtling me closer to coming.
I let the monster free—but not to climax. To hunt.
Ripping my arms from the men, I kicked up at the same time. My knee connected with the girl’s chest, sending her sprawling to the floor. My glistening hard cock stood like a traitor between my legs but I didn’t give a fucking damn because all I wanted was Lynx to die. Horribly. Drastically. Excruciatingly.
I hurled myself at him, sending us both to the floor. The orgasm that lived in my body switched to lustful need for his death.
We rolled, punching, shouting. He fought hard but he didn’t have a beast riding him—a beast that desperately wanted to come and now was fucking angry.
Lynx’s bodyguards dragged me off him, slamming me onto my back. Dante scrambled to his feet, throwing a painful kick to my ribs. “You’re a dead man. Fucking dead—you hear me?”
I shrugged. “I already was. Least this way I can die knowing I kept my morals.” My eyes landed on the girl. She wiped her lips with the back of her hand, holding her stomach where I kneed her.
“Je suis désolée. Ce n’est pas toi.” I’m sorry. It wasn’t you. I did up my trousers, tucking away the piece of my body that’d almost ruined me.
Her hazel eyes widened. I doubted she understood, but at least I’d said what I needed to. It would haunt me that I wasn’t able to save her.
Turns out, I couldn’t even save myself. Playing along with Lynx’s games should’ve been easy—if it wasn’t for the sins in my soul just waiting to strike me down. I couldn’t afford to enter the darkness. I couldn’t afford to slip—regardless if it meant life or death.
I wouldn’t save my life by doing the one thing that would destroy it. Not when I’d planned on getting married tomorrow. Not when I’d had some small chance at getting into heaven.
Shoving the two idiots away from me, I stood. Facing Dante, I ignored the pain in my thigh, thankful at least that soon I wouldn’t have to suffer the slick heat from the wound. “Enough. Let’s get this over with.”
Lynx clenched his jaw, his eyes tight with rage. “Fine, you fucking pussy. Let’s move this conversation downstairs.”
Four hours fifty-nine minutes.
My time had officially run out.
My eyes refused to open.
Every sense honed in on one particular pain. An excruciating agony in the back of my skull. Pounding, clanging, throbbing.
I groaned, needing to investigate the wound, needing to touch it—to try and alleviate the pain.
But I couldn’t move.
Nothing obeyed.
Panic opened my eyes.
My vision was hazy, unfocused, especially in my right pupil. What the fuck happened?
“Ah, you’ve finally decided to stop sleeping away your final minutes, Mercer.” Lynx appeared, but all I saw were his crimson shoes.
I frowned, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Blinking hard, I forced my eyesight to make sense of something that made no sense at all.
I’m upside down.
Clenching my stomach muscles, I arched upright, taking note of my bound and very naked body. Black ropes wrapped around my ankles, tethering me to the ceiling. The gunshot in my thigh looked awful and bloody. My arms were lassoed to my sides, coiled tightly with twine.
Hot lacing terror filled my heart. “Wh—what?” My swollen tongue couldn’t form syllables. It felt as if I’d bitten it again. “Tell—”
Lynx laughed. “If you’re trying to figure out how you came to be hanging in the same dungeon you were invited to enjoy an orgy in, then I can clarify.” His hand struck out, stroking my chin almost tenderly. “I pushed you down the stairs. You hit your head pretty hard at the bottom. Smashed a tile.” He tutted as if I’d ruined his entire decor. “However, passing out you gave us the great advantage of preparing you like this with no other issues or complications.” He patted my cheek. “Thanks for that.”
My chest rose and fell as adrenaline turned me from rational to drunk on the need to run or fight or both. I never took my eyes off Dante as he snapped his fingers, silently ordering two men to place a small table beside my head. On it rested a small towel and a row of buckets of water.
I gulped—not that it worked hanging upside down. The pressure of vertigo made the ache in my neck and residue unconsciousness scream for mercy.
In the distance hung a sex swing with ropes, pulleys, and a wall groaning with sexual torture equipment. The cold black tiles of the floor and the chains looping from the ceiling made it seem as if I’d stepped back in time. I’d woken in a nineteenth century torture chamber.
“You came for me, Q. You saved me from them.”
My eyes snapped closed at the memory of finding Tess in Rio. Those conditions had been worse. If she survived that I could survive this.
“I offered a civilized way out of this, Mercer. You’re an idiot for not taking it.” Lynx came closer, running a fingertip down my chest, swirling around the upside down sparrows.
I stiffened. I wanted to tear his body to pieces. My blood was cold and ready for his death.
He held out his hand. One of his guards placed a baseball bat into his open grip.
Oh, fuck.
My stomach muscles clenched in preparation; my entire body locking down to protect vulnerable organs.
“I think we’ll begin with a warm up—don’t you?” The thwack of the bat wrenched a groan from my lips, echoing around the chamber.
I jerked in the chains, dangling like a punching bag. I tried to double over, but my weight kept me hanging, completely at his mercy.
“Tenderize you a bit. Be a good way to relieve tension.” Lynx laughed. He hit me again on my lower belly, scarily close to my cock.
A cock that’d been sucked by a woman who wasn’t Tess. It deserved to be punished.
Lynx twisted the handle, securing a better grip. He swung hard and fast, walloping me as if I were a homerun.
I cried out, groaning as something crunched inside. A rib. The sharp shooting pain compounded to all the rest—consuming my thoughts with agony. My ragged breathing turned short and shallow, working through the wash of darkness.
Another blow. This one right on my chest.
My vision went black. Pain ebbed away as my soul tried to run.
“I love you, Q. I love your ruthlessness and strength. I love knowing you’ll always come for me.” Shit. Tears pricked my eyes. I’d broken a promise. I would no longer be there for Tess. I wouldn’t be there to rescue her.
Be happy you fixed her mind. Before…before I was stupid enough to let this happen.
“You still with me, Mercer?” A white hot jolt seized my muscles. I turned into a plank of human flesh as Dante electrified me with extreme volts from a Taser.
My jaw locked, bones hummed. Every inch of me stood to fucking attention.
Lynx stopped the current passing through my body, trailing a fingertip around my waist to my back. “Don’t pass out. You do and you won’t wake up.”
I wasn’t weak but the sound of passing out was entirely too tempting.
The next strike came from behind. The baseball bat struck my lower back, lighting up a different sort of pain—a radiating sensation-stealing pain.
I screamed.
I wasn’t proud I screamed. I hated that he’d hurt me enough to earn it but fuck—it devastated my willpower. All feeling to my freezing legs above suddenly disappeared. The heat from the gunshot was gone. The tingles from the electric shock existed no more. He’d either traumatised my spine or crippled me.
The thought of not being able to stand beside Tess to marry her, or walk beside her as we grew old tore my heart into pieces.
It doesn’t matter. You’re about to die anyway.
Incredibly, the thought granted peace. Dante could do whatever the hell he pleased because ultimately it didn’t matter. I would still end up in the same plac
e.
I lost the will to tense. What was the point? It would only prolong it.
The next swing slammed into my kidneys like a bulldozer. Agony blazed in my groin and lower belly. Lynx prowled around, dragging a hand along my quivering body. I tried to twist away, moaning at the spreading pain. I wanted to curse him—but again—what was the fucking point?
He chuckled, sounding evil in the cold black dungeon. “I’m thinking we need to get rid of this tattoo.” His hand slapped over the ink, trailing down to the ‘T’ branded over my heart. He clucked his tongue. “What the hell is this?” He shoved me with the tip of the baseball bat. I swung backward, creaking in the chains.
That is the one good thing in my life. The one redemption. My one untarnished love. Tess. She would always be the key to whatever heaven I entered.
I swallowed back my sadness—I’d never see her again. See her smile. Hear her laugh. I’d done everything I could to protect her. I just hoped she wouldn’t switch herself off again. She couldn’t live a life removed from emotion. I’d tried to teach her that—but I wouldn’t be there to enforce it.
Lynx shoved me again, spinning me around. I closed my eyes, suffering a rush of nausea. “Answer me, Mercer.”
I kept my lips pursed. He’d torn a scream from me but he wouldn’t get another.
He huffed. “Well, it doesn’t matter. Whatever it is, soon it will be in pieces on the floor.” He spun me again, stepping away and dropping the baseball bat. “Let’s loosen him up. I want him screaming.”
A man stopped my pendulum swing, slapping me to a halt. He smiled, his face hideous upside down. “Say goodbye, fuckwit.”
I sucked in a breath as he placed a heavy towel over my face. Shit. It blocked out everything. My warm breathing was trapped in the material. My hands clenched, hating the iciness of fear spiking my heart.
“I’m never afraid when I’m with you. Because I trust you.”
Tess filled my mind, giving me something to latch onto. I couldn’t see past the black towel, but I didn’t need to. I didn’t want to look at anything but the woman I wanted to marry.
My stomach clenched at the thought of anyone else making her happy. I couldn’t bear the idea of her falling for another or marrying someone completely unworthy. My forehead furrowed, loving the memories of her and hating them, too. Knowing I’d never see her again hurt more than anything Lynx could do.