The sand beneath the carpet unsettled my footing, but my heart knew where to go. Every step was scary and foreign and unknown but at the same time joyous and perfect and right.
Q held out his hand, summoning me to him. His intense pale gaze sliced through my dress, leaving me completely exposed. My nipples stiffened as my belly quickened.
Images of him hanging beaten and bloody snatched me from white perfection. I squeezed my eyes against the horribleness.
He almost died.
I almost lost him.
My chest rose, sucking in a calming breath. But I hadn’t lost him. He was here, waiting for me. Wanting to marry me.
My heart jangled. Will I hate myself for what I did to Lynx?
I waited for comeuppance.
I waited for guilt.
But all I felt was justified.
Shot, cut, electrocuted, and drowned, Q loved me so much he’d cheated death. He’d dressed a body that should be resting and stood atop an aisle where I would give him my heart.
Go to him. Be his medicine.
My pace increased. Suzette had no choice but to glide with me, quicker, quicker.
Q’s eyes warmed the closer I came. His face held shadows of bruises, his lips thinned against aches and stitches.
You can be vulnerable with me.
He stood taller, understanding my message.
I can relax with you in my arms. His eyes transmitted the thought powerfully.
The woman kept singing.
Everything horrible is now locked with gates
All our demons are exorcized
You are my sinner; my undisclosed master of my fate
Please me, and I’ll treat you fine
Tease me, and I’ll show you, you are mine
I never deviated or looked at the small number of guests. Every step they judged me—searching for any flaw that was undeserving of Q.
But they wouldn’t find me wanting. I’d earned my place by his side. I’d grown up. I’d embraced myself completely. And I had nothing left to fear—everything I’d done and endured lived in my eyes for the world to see—telling my story.
But only Q had the decryption.
Only he knew what I’d done. Only he knew who I’d become. And only he knew my sins. Just like I knew his.
Acceptance. Love. Commitment.
They were the perfect sins. Sins I would commit for the rest of my life.
You are the one for me, my monster in the dark
You are the perfect mate for me, wicked and unmarked
Together we cannot be denied, our undeniable spark
Together we will find our perfect evolving never ending arc
My breathing turned from low and deep to shallow and bird-quick. The aisle came to an end. Suzette squeezed my elbow. “Go marry your monster.” Letting go, she pushed me gently.
She sent me winging to Q. I left my past behind; I left earth behind—embracing my new home in the night sky.
The music drifted to a lasting note, fading away.
Q stole all my senses—just like he always did. I breathed in his citrus and sandalwood. I drank in his bruised face. I heard his heartbeat because it was the same as mine.
One beat. One thrum.
He stood steadfast; his eyes luminous with a mixture of love and trepidation. We stood stiff before each other. My hands wanted to touch. My lips wanted to kiss. And my heart wanted to erupt from my chest and land in his palms in gratitude. Gratitude for choosing me.
I was born for you.
His eyes tightened. His throat worked hard as he swallowed. The feathered wings in my stomach lived in him, too—mirroring our nervousness.
My breathing was shallow. I want you in bed. I want to whisper the vows to you alone. I want to give myself to you in every possible way a woman can.
Q’s lips twitched, his head lowered, but he never looked away. The intensity of his gaze sent a ripple of pleasure right to my core.
I stood before him and shamelessly grew wet.
My eyes dropped to his linked hands, hiding the swelling bulge in his trousers. My pussy clenched, craving his touch. He was so damn handsome. So dignified and closed off. Only I saw the passion, the aggression.
My lips parted. I wanted his stern lips to kiss me sweetly. I wanted his harsh fingers to touch me gently. I wanted the privilege of hugging him while he took me slowly. Ever so slowly. Sinking together, drifting together, getting lost together.
I wanted love in physical expression.
Q broke his unreadable façade by taking my hand. His touch was a comet shooting from every finger, supercharging my body. His fingers tightened, cutting off my blood, transmitting his highly controlled need through one caress.
He stepped closer, tugging me into him.
The marquee ceased to exist. The guests were gone. The world was nothing. He was everything, and I needed him. Now.
A masculine cough right by my ear made me leap in my heels.
I tore my attention from Q, focusing on the man standing before us dressed in a well-cut linen suit.
Q chuckled quietly, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles. “We’re not alone, esclave. Not yet.” His lips moved but his words were lower than a whisper, understood purely by my soul rather than ears.
The celebrant, the man who had the power to turn our two lives into one, grinned. His soft sable eyes, dark brown hair, and weather-worn face made him friendly and approachable.
“Welcome,” he said in a deep attention-grabbing voice. “I’m honoured to precede over your vows today. Are you ready to begin?”
Begin? So fast. No prelude or…
“You ready, mon amour?” Q raised my hand, kissing my ring. His dry warm lips teased a moan from my soul.
Looking into his eyes settled everything. Yes. I was ready.
I nodded, holding his fingers as my heart shook off its lust-induced slow beat, favouring a fast hopscotch instead. This was it. I’m getting married.
Q murmured, “I’m holding the woman I’m about to marry, so yes, you may begin.”
Q’s eyes never left mine. Our spirits reached out, interlinking, forming a private bubble where the world could be seen but nothing could touch us. He spun the wing circlet around my wedding finger. “You’ll never walk again without me by your side, esclave.”
My heart stole all the blood in my body, swelling with aching love.
The celebrant clasped his hands in front of him. “Fantastic. Let’s start.” Looking past us, he grinned at the groomsmen and bridesmaids. I ignored them in my peripheral vision, giving my full attention to my master.
It was just him and me.
As it had always been and always would be.
“Welcome, everyone, to the joining of Tess Olivia Snow and Quincy Mercer II. I will say thank you on behalf of the bride and groom for travelling to this sun-blessed country and gracing your good fortune to ensure this marriage is full of richness, happiness, and love.”
The celebrant lowered his voice. “I can either give you vows to repeat after me—or if you prefer, you can dedicate your own vows to each other. Either will be binding and sanctified by me.”
My stomach leapt into my mouth. Vows! What with the whirlwind crescent moon and Q’s torture, I hadn’t had time to write heartfelt promises or pledges. My eyes flared wide. I’ve ruined it before it’s begun. I should’ve known. I should’ve planned.
“I’d like to say our own,” Q murmured. “However, I want you to go first, Tess.” Authority rang in his voice; the room swam with panic.
I clutched his fingers. “Q, I can’t. I don’t know what to say. I have so much—so much that I want to get right. I’m…” My eyes searched his. “I’m unprepared. I don’t want to say something wron—”
“You’re overthinking it. Just—”
“But what if I say something terrible? I’ve never been to a wedding or know what needs to be sworn. I’ll screw up. Our marriage will be a sham.” My spine tickled with tears, the damn corset sque
ezed my ribs like a vice.
Q cupped my cheek, bringing me closer in a rustle of silk. His mouth rested on my ear, granting me strength. “I’m just as nervous as you are.” Guiding my hand, he placed it over his heart. The rapidly thudding muscle, that’d been through so much, thrummed beneath my fingers in a rugged tattoo. “See. I’m terrified. But I want to know what’s in your heart. Dare, Tess. I dare you to tell me everything.”
Having his life-force beat beneath my fingertips tempered my panic. I laughed quietly. “You’re daring me to say things I have no idea how to articulate.” I had no idea what the correct etiquette was. What was forbidden to discuss—what was permitted. “I don’t know what to say, Q.”
He pressed a whisper-soft kiss on my ear. “Just say what’s in your soul. That’s all I’m going to do. Nothing you feel can be wrong, esclave. Trust it.”
I sucked in a gulp of air, dragging his incredible aftershave into my lungs. Thoughts raced through my head. The truth—that’s where the horror lay.
Memoires swarmed thick and fast.
“I’d kill for you, Tess. I have killed for you.” The day in Q’s office—the morning I was stolen.
“Ah, esclave, this wasn’t supposed to happen.” The evening he’d found me raped by Lefebvre.
“There is pain in intimacy. Let me make your pain my pleasure.” The shower where he replaced himself with the horrible incident.
“You’ll do this or I’ll kill you—do you understand?” The day he forced me to hurt him—all in the name of bringing me back.
I thought about his temper. His violence. His ruthlessness.
I thought about his compassion. His love for birds. His selfless acts of saving women.
So many things to say. So many things that would be forever treasured.
Speak from your heart.
I wouldn’t bow to censorship. I would share our unconventional history. Q made me into the woman I was but I’d also turned him into the man he’d become. Our past formed us and it would be forever a part of us.
My courage was faint, but I straightened my shoulders. “I love you.”
Q smiled, holding my hand. I took a deep breath, throwing myself into the truth, spilling my heart—painting our life with promises. “All my life, I never truly existed. I struggled to know what I was meant for. I followed a path I didn’t understand.” I swallowed. “I was lonely. I never felt the pinprick of heartache, or the warmth of a hug. But then I was captured and sold.”
Q turned to stone, his fingers latching hard around mine.
“The day I was taken, my life ended. I thought I would die. I wanted to die. But then I was sold to a master who changed my world completely.”
Q stopped breathing.
“This new master confused me, hurt me, but ultimately taught me what I was missing all along. I was missing him. He was the hole in my heart—he was my other half. I was no longer lonely, or searching for something I didn’t understand. My grey world became prismatic, and I valued every lesson he taught.”
My heart stuttered. No matter the happiness of being sold to Q, my trials hadn’t ended there.
“But life decided I wasn’t worthy—not yet.” I closed my eyes, fighting back the ghosts of Rio. “I endured a price I didn’t know I could pay, but once again I learned something. The right love—soul-mate love—is priceless.
“My master came for me—proving once again I never had to be afraid or alone but in return I shut him out, hurting him worse than anyone.” My heart cracked for how heartless I’d been. “I shut myself off, unable to trust anymore—trust a life that gave so much but took away more in return. But now I know why. I learned my final lesson.
“Life taught me an eternal love will demand the worst sacrifices. A transcendent love will split your soul, cleaving you into pieces. A love this strong doesn’t grant you sweetness—it grants you pain. And in that pain is the greatest pleasure of all.”
I met Q’s eyes. His lips were pressed into a fine line, containing the smouldering emotion in is gaze. He burned with everything he felt, barely containing it. The connection between us was thick and heavy and I wanted to be alone. I wanted to kiss him. Love him. Worship him.
“Q, I’m not just yours for this lifetime. I’m yours forever. I will follow you through unhappiness, confusion, and hardship. I will bask beside you in success, fortune, and laughter. I will obey you because I trust you. I will push you because I believe in you. I will fight with you because that is where our passion lives. And I will make love to you the way our demons demand.
“My blood is yours.
“My breath is yours.
“And I swear to you when this life is over, I will wait for you to join me. I will travel with you through galaxies and solar-systems to be yours once again. Because a love like this isn’t replicable. You’ve ruined me. Devastated me. Destroyed me by choosing me as your wife.”
A single tear rolled down my cheek. I said my final vow, “Je suis à toi. Je suis ton monstre dans le noir pour toujours.” I’m yours. I’m your monster in the dark forever.
Silence was a heavy shroud, hushing even the tweets of birds outside.
Q hadn’t moved. His body locked down, face hard and dark.
Perhaps I had no right to tell our story aloud. Maybe he thought I’d failed by being so honest. But I wanted Q to know that everything I lived through—every hardship was necessary—because it made me deserving. It taught me Q was worth every sacrifice. It made me strong enough to keep him.
The future was ours. Evolving together. Twisting our souls into one. Knitting our lives into inseparable tapestries. I could never love another like him. Fate designed us from the same darkness, the same fabric of wrongness.
Q cleared his throat. The celebrant didn’t move, waiting for the thick silence to disperse.
Say something! I couldn’t read him. He’d shut down, trembling with colossal energy, glowing with everything he trapped inside. “Tess—” Finally a crack, a small doorway into his feelings. “Je suis—”
Then he folded to his knees.
My stomach lodged in the tight boning of my corset. I’d never seen a man so proud, so strong and fierce, be so shattered and humbled.
Q’s ferocious eyes ensnared me.
“Tess, je ne serai jamais capable d'exprimer à quel point je tiens à toi. Je n’aurais jamais les mots pour exprimer combien Je t'aime.” Tess, I’ll never be able to express how much I care for you. I’ll never know the words to say how much I love you.
He looked away, gathering his thoughts. His back rippled with a deep breath. “Je ne savais pas que j'étais seul. Je ne savais pas que j’étouffais ma douleur et mon besoin d’affection sous le travail. Je hais mon héritage, d’où je viens et je ne me suis jamais senti digne du bonheur. Mais ensuite, toi, esclave Cinquante-huit ans, est entrée dans mon monde. Tu m’as fait tout remettre en question.” I never knew I was lonely. I never knew I smothered my pain and the need for connection beneath my work. I hate my heritage—where I’ve come from—and never felt worthy of happiness. But then you, Slave Fifty-eight, entered my world. You made me question everything.
“Je voulais te briser. T’adorer. Te faire crier. Je voulais tant de choses mais par-dessus tout, je voulais ce que j'ai vu dans tes yeux brillants pour moi, que tu me fasses confiance. Je voulais ton âme.” I wanted to break you. Adore you. Make you scream. I wanted so many things but beneath it all, I wanted what I saw in your eyes glowing for me, trusting me. I wanted your soul.
I reached down, begging him to take my hand. He did, pressing a sharp kiss to my knuckles. “Tu m’acceptes pour ce que je suis. Mes ténèbres et le reste. Mes pêchés et le reste. Tu es mon égal. Mon professeur. Je suis ton disciple. Je suis ton propriétaire. Je ne pourrais pas être plus amoureux de toi même si j'avais deux cœurs au lieu d'un. Ma vie est à toi. Mon âme est à toi. Je fais le voeu de toujours te consoler. De toujours te protéger. Je vais pleurer avec toi. Je vais rire avec toi. Je t’enlacerai tous les soirs de n
otre vie.” You accept me for me. Darkness and all. Sin and everything. You are my equal. My teacher. I am your disciple. I am your owner. I couldn’t be more in love with you if I had two hearts instead of one. My life is yours. My soul is yours. I vow to always comfort you. Always protect you. I will cry with you. I will laugh with you. I will hold you every night of our lives.”
Q’s voice deepened, filling with heartache and overwhelming love. “Je ne déteste plus mes démons, car tu les combats pour moi. Je ne me sens plus seul parce que tu es mon refuge. Je ne me fais plus peur parce que tu contrôles ma bête. Je suis ton monstre, Tess. Je tuerai ceux qui t’ont fait du mal. Je nourrirais ceux qui s’occuperont de toi . Je ne cesserai jamais de chasser tes cauchemars et de t’offrir une vie parfaite.” I no longer hate my demons because you fight them on my behalf. I no longer feel alone because you are my home. I no longer fear myself because you control my beast. I’m your monster, Tess. I’ll kill those who hurt you. I’ll nurture those who tend you. I’ll never stop hunting your nightmares or providing a perfect life.”
My legs wobbled. The conviction in his tone, the edge of violence in his eyes—he shot barbs right into my heart. The echoes of his vows would live in me for an eternity. He’d made me immortal with his words.
I believed every vow. I cherished every promise. I never needed to be afraid or lost. Ever again. Because he would protect me and I would protect him. Always.
His eyes latched onto the ‘Q’ branding my neck. His face tightened with passion. “Tu portes mon nom, donc je sais que tu seras toujours à moi. Permets moi de passer l’éternité à te protéger et à t’aimer, esclave. Je suis à toi. Je suis ton monstre dans le noir pour toujours.” You wear my mark, so I know you’ll always be mine. Let me spend my forevers protecting and loving you, esclave. I’m yours. I’m your monster in the dark forever.”
Silence fell as Q climbed to his feet, wincing. He looked drained but content as if he’d poured everything from him to me and had nothing left. His broken body needed to rest.
With a look full of black passion, he pulled me into a tight embrace. The celebrant didn’t say a word as Q’s lips pressed against mine. He kissed me with the fine edge of control and anger I was so used to.