I went back to my side of the box when Grace stopped crying and told me she wanted to try to sleep for a while. No way would I be able to sleep tonight at least not anytime soon I thought. How could I? I had no idea where Sebastian was and what tomorrow would bring. I could only guess what time it was. If I was lucky it was around midnight. That meant I had eight more hours in the box that smelled like death. My puke pail did make the smell worse. It's mixed in and I got a whiff of it every so often. What really sucked and what was heavy on my mind was that I had to go pee and it was pouring rain. It was also getting a little cool in the box. I put my sweatshirt on zipping it all the way up and pulling the hood over my head. Lying down on my back I tried to get comfortable on the hard cement floor.
The pitter-patter of the rain was soothing it made me feel like we were not alone in this small smelly room. I looked up and did my best to imagine I was outside looking up at the stars. I thought about all the times growing up that I would camp out in the Colorado mountains. My brother Adam and I would put our tent outside our grandparents cabin. It would be freezing but we didn't care we had to sleep in the tent. Our dad would make a fire and we would make smores. The latest we lasted in the tent was midnight before we shuffled back into the cozy confines of the cabin.
It's crazy to think back to those days of being a child having no idea what the world was really about. Thoughts were so pure and innocent. It was all about playing. I missed those days. I thought of Grace and how young she was. She was only 19. When I was her age the extreme of my suffering was getting my fake ID denied at the bar. That and getting our ass kicked in volleyball. Losing a volleyball match seemed like the worst thing in the world at the time. That thought seemed so silly while I looked up at the dark ceiling in my Mexican jail cell.
I heard Grace move around. I cleared my throat so she knew I was awake. I stood up and stretched my legs out. I looked out the window even though there was nothing to see. I did see a faint light pass by and I got excited. It seemed like it was a light from a cell phone or a flashlight. I tapped the window.
"Leah don't!"
Grace caught me off guard. "What? I have to pee really bad."
"Don't they won't let you just go to the bathroom they would want a favor for it in exchange."
"Oh. Whoever it was didn't hear me anyway. I can't hold it all night though."
"Bucket." Grace mumbled with sarcasm.
I sat back down in my spot. I wondered where Sebastian was. If Ping let him leave I knew he wasn't getting any sleep in the hotel.
"You slept for awhile," I told Grace.
Grace yawned. I wish I could have fallen asleep and been put out of my misery. I needed fresh air. I needed Grace to open up again so time could go by faster. This time I chose a cheerier subject. "Bo told me you are an avid surfer."
"I was," Grace said. "I started surfing when I was real young, like seven years old."
"Yeah your dad told me about teaching you. He said you got the bug when you saw Point Break. That's funny."
Grace laughed genuinely for the first time all night. "Yeah."
"Bodhi for the win," I laughed. "I remember seeing that movie for the first time and wanting to surf too. I just didn't live by an ocean."
"Wait you talked to my parents?" Grace asked surprisingly.
"Yeah Sebastian and I went to see them."
Grace exhaled. "How are they?"
"They are surviving. They love and miss you very much." Grace was quiet and I searched for what to say next. "They are really sweet. You look a lot like your dad."
"I know everyone says that. How is Bo?"
"Bo is devastated but hopeful. He never gave up looking for you Grace. He is crazy about you. Him and all your friends, Tigger, they are all very sad. You have a lot of people who care about you." I was getting sappy. I didn't want Grace to feel any worse than she already did. "Bo told me how you two met. It's a pretty cool story he said he was really shy talking to you at first. He said it took him weeks to approach you."
"Yeah right Bo shy?" Grace snickered. "He said that?"
"Yes he used the word shy and said you brought him out of his shell."
"Oh Bo. He totally had a cheesy pick up line and everything. He was a total Romeo acting fool that day. Later he told me he was extremely nervous but I didn't get that from him."
I laughed. "Really? Do tell."
Grace sat up. "Okay here goes. I am on lying on my beach towel with my surfboard next to me. I have my eyes closed and I hear a voice say 'excuse me' I look up and squint because of the sun. I sit up and see a nice looking guy. I thought he was kind of cute but nothing special. He asked me if I had any Sex Wax he could use on his board." Grace laughed out loud for a few moments. "The way he said it was so funny because it was like he was trying to say it seductively. I just shook my head slightly and said sorry I don't. Then he said 'my name is Bo.' Then he waits and gives me this look then puts both hands near the ground behind my back. I awkwardly said 'what?' not knowing what he was doing. He said 'oh this is where girls melt. I say my name is Bo and they think it's adorable and they go weak. Go ahead it's okay I will catch you when you faint.' This made me smile so of course he complimented me on my smile. I invited him to sit on my towel and away we went talking nonstop. Him being sweet and cute definitely got me in the beginning but as I got to know him it was his heart. Bo is just good...you know?"
"Yeah I do." It made me happy to Grace become cheery for once. I could tell she was very much in love with Bo.
"He's just everything I look for in a guy but had never found until I met him. I dated some guys who were nice, some were fun, and some were really smart. But none of them connected with me like Bo did. It's hard to explain I guess."
"No I hear you Grace. It's love. Same thing happened when I met Sebastian. You get each other and it's almost magical."
"How long have you been together?" Grace asked.
"Gosh I guess it's been three years now. Time flies."
Grace was quiet and I wondered what she was thinking about. Was she wondering what the future held for her and Bo? Was she wondering what would have been had she not been sold to Ping and her life turned upside down? I thought of Bo's upcoming marriage and cringed. If we did get Grace back to Bo what would become of them? Grace was going to need Bo more than ever. I don't know how she would be able to handle the news that the love of her life was marrying another women.
"Leah can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
"Is love enough?"
The tone of her voice changed. I was caught off guard. "Is love enough?" Wow what a question. "In what sense?"
"Is it really enough to get you through everything? I don't know, being kept as a prisoner down here really makes me wonder if love is the strongest thing in the world. The thought of seeing Bo again and being reunited with him has definitely given me some hope but I don't know what happens after. You know what happens after when that initial high wears off and life goes on? What am I left with? How do I forget what happened here, what I went through and what these other women still have to go through daily? And fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. If love can't get you through what is there? If tomorrow I don't get out of here and I am reduced to being Ping's translator for life love is not going to do it. I won't survive here."
Grace had a point and she said so much that I didn't know what angle to go with. "Well that's a tough one." I managed to finally say while searching for how I should respond. "I don't know if love is enough but it's needed. Without it you have nothing. Think about it. It's amazing that you have survived being here this long. What got you through? I imagine your love for Bo, for your friends and family. Your love for your life you used to have. Right?"
It was silent for a few seconds before Grace replied. "I guess."
"As far as your love for Bo and how your relationship will go. Who knows but I do know that love is bigger than just being physical with one another and having a connection.
Love is not enough if it is just lip service. Love is selfless you know? It's complicated and I probably have no idea what I am talking about, but I do know that love is what makes life worth living. When I fell in love with Sebastian I remember thinking to myself if I die right now my life will be complete because I experienced the greatest thing this world has to offer. And Grace you can feel love in a different way with different things in your life. Like surfing. I can't surf well at all but I grew up snowboarding and I am truly passionate about it. It feels like a kind of love. When I am gliding down that mountain on a fresh coat of powder it is the greatest feeling in the world. Love might not be enough but it's the fire that fuels your heart. I guess my point is that life is worth living. You have to do the best you can with what you got. Don't get me wrong Grace I am not sure how these women do that here. There wouldn't be a hell of a lot to look forward to when you work what 18 hours a day against your will for no pay? I imagine the only thing that would get me by in here is the hope that one day it would end and I would get my life back. Hope and love is the only thing that would get me through."
Grace exhaled and I did the same. I wanted to steer clear of talking about Bo because I felt guilty that I knew his secret and she didn't. I wanted to break the silence so Grace wasn't dwelling. "Did my answer make any sense to you?"
"Yeah it did I'm just thinking about some of things you said."
Grace was a nice kid. She was bright and kind. She was a normal 19-year-old college student. She should only be worrying about exams and what major she wanted to declare. Grace should not have to be a prisoner of Ping's going through this hell. I wanted to get her home badly. One thing was for sure I was not leaving Mexico without her.
The noise from the raindrops softened. A flash of lighting bounced through the box. I looked at Grace she had her head against the wall with her eyes closed. I ached for her.
"I noticed you wear a rosary Grace. Bo said you weren't catholic."
"I'm not. When I awoke in Ping's office I was wearing it."
"I see. What do you remember from the day you were taken?"
"It was after my last class I went home to my apartment and after I shut the door there was a knock. A Chinese man burst through the door and quickly put a cloth up to my face. That's the last thing I remember."
"Do you know who or why someone put a rosary on you?"
"No but one of the ladies here told me when I met her that I was lucky I was catholic and when I asked why she said if you are catholic down here they see you as sacred and will treat you better. The lady made it sound as if you are off limits from any sex labor and such things. I've never taken it off and I tell everyone who asks that I am catholic. Fingers crossed but so far I haven't been subject to any sex trafficking or organ trafficking."
"Wait organ trafficking?"
"Yeah." My silence indicated to Grace that I was still wrapping my head around this. She continued. "Organ extraction for money. Liver, kidneys, pancreas. Ping is starting to add this to his business. In wealthy countries there is a demand for transplants. It's big money."
"Holy shit." I thought I might be nauseous again. A sinking in my stomach overwhelmed me as I thought of Ping taking us to some dirty room with dirty medical supplies and...damn stop thinking like that Leah! I wished my imagination wasn't so good.
"Yeah it's very heart wrenching," Grace said. "I had to do the translation and hide the horror I was feeling as they went into detail."
I cringed and a shiver went through my body. "Okay that's enough I can't hear anymore." I sighed in disgust. "Okay back to that day do you know who did it?"
"You mean who brought me down here?"
"Yeah."
"Ping," Grace said. "He told me he recruited me. He found out about my expertise with Mandarin and Spanish along with my major being international business."
My eyes were getting heavy and tired. I had a bad headache. I was sure it was from dehydration. I felt weak. I was thirsty and hungry. My stomach felt hollowed out from throwing up earlier. My mouth had a nasty taste and I wanted a toothbrush so bad. Worst of all I needed a bathroom! It's the little things that we take for granted when we are without them. This was embarrassing but I couldn't hold it anymore. "I am really sorry Grace but I have to pee."
"Dude go. It's dark so I can't see you and believe me I have experienced a lot worse while I have been here."
I liked that Grace called me dude, the Southern California in her was coming out. I felt my way along the wall until my foot hit the bucket. I squatted down and centered the bucket underneath me. It took a second before I was able to go. I was so glad it was dark in the box at that moment. It was dead quiet so I hummed the ants go marching on song so there was another sound besides me peeing. I was relieved when it was over and paused a bit to air dry. Guys don't realize how good they have it I thought to myself.
I went back to my spot feeling much better. "It has to be pretty late will you be able to sleep anymore?"
Grace yawned. "It would be nice but it's so uncomfortable on this cement floor. Our sleeping quarters have yoga mat thin mattresses. They have very little cushion but I would love to be sleeping on one right now."
I sprawled out in my tiny space and tried my best to find at least a bearable position on the hard ground. I went from my back to my side voting on which one was the best option. I went with my side. "I met Bo's parents."
"What did you think?"
"Mr. Tang's a real peach," I joked. "I don't think Mrs. Tang said anything or even looked at us directly."
"Yeah they are old school. I met them once and that was enough. I feel bad for Bo."
"Me too."
Grace yawned loudly. "I am so glad I didn't grow up in that culture."
"Yeah Bo told us about your parents immigrating to the states so you could have a better life. He talked about your mother being treated poorly."
"Yes she was treated as an object. Women have no value there. Similar to here. Her parents didn't show her any love at all. It's sad and horrible hearing her tell of the memories she has of them. It's awful. She once told me a dog was more valuable than her. It makes me sick."
"Wow I can't imagine what that would feel like to be treated like that. Especially by your own parents."
"I know," Grace said. "My mom said she would never ever go back. She's adamant about that and it makes me wonder how many stories she kept from me."
I had my eyes shut and for the first time all night I felt as though sleep may be possible. I was too tired to talk anymore so I asked Grace to tell me about her favorite movies. I could tell she was fading a little bit too but she went back to Point Break then rattled off her other favorite movies. I felt myself start to fall asleep and for the first time all night I felt a little bit of peace. I tried to make a noise to show my approval when she mentioned the movie Run but it was weak. I had really wanted to talk about the movie because it was rare that I found somebody who had seen it. I couldn't fight the sleepiness that had overcome me. I nodded off as Grace's voice faded as she quietly started to name her favorite Disney movies. It wasn't an ideal sleepover but we were doing the best we could with what we had.