“Because like it or not, I’m the only stable person in the spawn’s life.” He slowly looked up at her. “I’m reduced to making twenty percent of what I used to and working forty hours a week at an office supply store, wiping viruses from computers and helping idiots who can’t even figure out their email learn how to send pictures to their grandkids, okay? If you came to kick me when I’m down, you’re a little late for that by a couple of months.”
“Someone’s been trying to access the project server remotely.”
He frowned. “You can’t access Artemis remotely. That’s impossible. You have to be hard-wired into the campus VPN to access that server. I should know, I helped design the security walls and procedures with Rhys and Korbin.”
“It started after you left.”
“Ah.” He lowered his arms, palms on his thighs. “And naturally, I, the disgruntled former employee, am the prime suspect. Right?”
“Frankly? Yes.”
“Fuck you, lady.” He shoved one of the laptops in her direction, which made the whole flimsy table dangerously rock on its spindly legs. “Go on. Feel free to take both of them. Search the whole goddamned apartment if you want. I’ve got two more laptops in the bedroom. Take them and go through them. Check my IP records through Bright House, if you want.”
He stood and jammed a finger at her. “I fucking worked for Ormond for six goddamned years and got tossed out on my fucking ass over what? A little personal trouble that didn’t hurt his bottom line in the least. I was working more hours to make up for being late. He more than got his time out of me. I don’t owe him shit. I try to be a nice fucking guy, help a woman and her baby out, and look where it gets me. So forgive me if I say you and Ormond can go screw your fucking selves.”
“Then why didn’t you tell him what was going on?”
“Oh, yeah, sure. I’d just love the hell out of having that conversation with him. ‘Hey, boss, check this out. My girlfriend’s screwing her gang-banger baby daddy, who just got out of jail. I’m now her driver and babysitter. Mind if I’m late to work nearly every fucking day?’ Yeah, that’s what employers love to hear.”
“You never mentioned it to Rhys or Korbin.”
“Have you fucking met Korbin? He’s a goddamned ball-buster. No fucking way in hell was I telling him any of that. Not that he’s one to talk. He probably hasn’t been laid in years and Rhys is so fucking pussy-whipped he’s useless.”
No mistaking the venom in his voice. Whether directed at her, Ormond, the guys, himself, his girlfriend, or Gang-Banger Baby Daddy, or maybe a mix of all of them, she wasn’t sure.
“Did you discuss Artemis with anyone?”
“No, of course not. I mean Kim would ask me about my day and we’d talk, but that stopped when Baby Daddy made parole. Not to mention she’s not exactly Mensa material.” He shook his head. “Then again, a lot of things in our relationship suddenly stopped when Baby Daddy made parole. And I started becoming more of a babysitter than a boyfriend.” He let out a disgusted snort.
“Well, thanks for your time.” She turned and headed out the door, closing it behind her.
She knew better than to base decisions on gut instinct, but her instinct in this case told her that, while understandably bitter on several fronts, Don Aster likely wasn’t their suspect.
Knowing Korbin the short amount of time she had, she completely understood why Aster hadn’t confided in him or Rhys. He definitely carried a chip on his shoulder the way she carried personal demons around inside her.
That very same thing is what had led to their own round of head-butting.
She headed back to campus, a familiar tightening in her gut trying to make itself known. She hoped Korbin was still in sweet and sorry mode and hadn’t changed back into Assholio Arroganto.
Not that there was anything she could do about it if he did, but she really hoped her love life’s track record was improving and not heading deeper into the toilet. Something about the two men wouldn’t let go of her.
To blow it with Korbin would mean losing Rhys, too, of that she had no doubt. She wouldn’t come between the men. They had too important a job to do.
Plus it would be damned uncomfortable making a go of it with just one of them.
Why’s he got to be so cute? And he was cute. Both of them were. No, she might not have usually taken a second look at them under normal circumstances, but getting to know Korbin and Rhys in such close quarters gave her a different insight.
And the thought of not having both of them in her life made her sad in ways she didn’t want to think about.
Unfortunately, rush hour traffic started early. Combined with construction and an accident, she didn’t return to campus until nearly six and the men had already left.
She fought back more than a little disappointment. They didn’t even call me.
Maybe Korbin wasn’t as over it as she thought he was. She’d thought they’d left things patched up.
Feeling a little lost, and more than a little scared emotionally, she headed home.
Chapter Seventeen
Fortunately, Rhys called her before she even reached her apartment. “Love, I’m going to send Korbin home to you alone tonight.”
“What? Why?”
“Because I want the two of you to have some time together to talk without me in the way. I didn’t realize how deeply insecure he was. And I know communication is important for this to work with the three of us.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want you at the house by yourself.”
“Absolutely sure. And I’ll go to a hotel or something.”
“Not home.”
“You just beat some sense into his head, right?”
She took a deep breath to quiet her nerves. “Okay.”
An unexpected and totally unfamiliar feeling haunted her as she drove into her apartment complex.
Butterflies. Nervous, huge-ass, gamma-radiated, Godzilla-esque butterflies in her stomach as she thought about spending the evening, alone, with Korbin.
Yes, she’d forgiven him for being an asshole earlier. Everyone had an off day, and considering the stress the men were under, between getting Artemis finished and now worrying about industrial espionage and possibly even personal injury on top of that, she could understand and overlook it.
Besides, he had apologized. And she wasn’t one to hold a grudge without damn good reason.
Life was too freaking short for that. She’d learned that hard lesson firsthand.
Somehow, it seemed easier being with both men at the same time. Like she didn’t have to focus on one or the other. Didn’t have to face her own insecurities.
Didn’t have time to think.
Not that the men gave her time to think, and she had to admit that wasn’t a bad thing.
What if when alone with her they decided she was too dumb for them? She knew in the grand scheme of the world she wasn’t a drooling pumpkin, but compared to Korbin and Rhys, she ended up resembling Pinky when compared to their Brain.
Times two.
Rhys called her back a few minutes after she walked in the door. “He just left, love. He’s picking up dinner on the way for both of you.”
“Are you sure you’re okay with this?”
“I think a little alone time will do you two a world of good. I’m not a jealous man. I know I’ll have my own alone time with you soon.” She loved that she could hear the smile in his voice, even over the phone.
“Thanks.”
His tone turned serious. “We are the ones who should be thanking you, from the bottoms of our hearts. I know now isn’t the ideal time, but once we get Artemis finalized and presented, we plan on taking our first vacation in forever and taking you someplace where we can spend our time showing you exactly how much we love you.”
Her heart raced at his words, the spit drying in her throat.
Love.
“I mean it,” he said. “We love you. Those aren’t just idle words to us. We’ve talked about it. If you
’ll have both of us, together, we’re more than happy to belong to you.”
Her fingers tightened around the phone. “I love you guys, too,” she whispered.
He let out what almost sounded like a sigh of relief. “Good. Then you enjoy tonight, guilt-free. Let him assuage his conscience and totally mend fences to your satisfaction. I’m not exaggerating when I say he feels bloody awful about what he did. I’ll see you at work in the morning. Right?”
“Okay. You’re going to a hotel, right? You need to go to a hotel. Do not stay at the house.”
She didn’t miss his little exasperated sigh. “Yes, love. I’ll be perfectly safe.”
“Okay. Just don’t stay at home.”
“I won’t. I’ll be fine.”
“Okay.”
“Then good night, love.”
“Good night.”
She ended the call and glanced around her apartment, feeling like she was in a dream. When her eyes settled on the picture of her and Andy on the bookshelf, she walked over and looked at it.
“Would you be upset with me?” she asked aloud.
No, it didn’t take a psych degree for her to know she’d had a hearty hand in torpedoing plenty of opportunities for love when guilt over her loss outweighed the potential for love in her mind.
She knew Andy wouldn’t want her to be like that anymore than she would have wanted him to be like that had their fates been reversed.
She would have wanted him to go on and be happy.
Reaching out, she stroked the picture frame. His forever handsome and smiling face stared back at her. In the picture, she’d been looking up at him, not at the camera.
They’d only slept together a couple of times. There’d been little opportunity to sneak time together and too much risk to do it. They couldn’t risk their own lives or the lives of fellow soldiers just for a piece of ass. They were also smart enough to know that the high adrenaline standard of surviving in a dangerous combat zone wasn’t the best basis for a forever relationship.
But they’d promised each other that when their tour was over, they’d take time off and figure out, together, what to do for the rest of their lives. To see if they really were meant to be together, and map out their next steps.
Only she’d come home…and he hadn’t.
Maybe this was the solution. Maybe no one man would ever be able to help her deal with the pain in her soul. Maybe she needed more than one guy to love the nightmares away. She knew at least twice guys had pulled away from her, unable to deal with the crushing weight of her grief. Then she had a horrible track record of picking superficial guys who put on a good show, but were nothing more than well dressed idiots.
Maybe together Korbin and Rhys could shoulder the load and help her learn to enjoy life again.
Being with the two of them was no sacrifice, that was for damn sure. She also didn’t care what other people thought. That was the least of her concerns.
She cared about losing this tiny bit of heaven she’d glimpsed, the opportunity to maybe move on with her life, into happiness, with two men apparently ready to welcome her into their lives with open arms and without bullshit machismo.
Good men. Kind men.
Men who seemed to want to be devoted to her.
God only knows why. What the hell do they see in me, anyway?
She was waiting when Korbin knocked on the door at ten till seven. He walked in, laden with take-out bags and a nervous smile that melted her heart.
Taking one of the bags from him, she offered him a kiss. “We’re okay,” she said.
He stopped. “I’m so sorry. I’m an idiot, I really am—”
She silenced him with another kiss, deeper this time, palming his cheek. “We’re okay,” she repeated, staring into those beautiful blue eyes of his. “We’ll talk about it, but we’re okay.”
He rested his forehead against hers. “Thank you.”
He didn’t want her to help him set out dinner, wanted to do it all for her. With a smile she went and poured them both glasses of wine and brought them over to the coffee table.
He took his with a hesitant smile.
She held up her glass. “To new beginnings.”
He nodded, gently clinking glasses with her. “New beginnings.”
They sipped their wine before she leaned in for another kiss. “You do that again, however, and I’ll kick your damn ass.” She tempered her words with a smile.
That seemed to finally jar him out of his funk. “Believe me, I’m not about to repeat that mistake. Although I’m sure I’ll make plenty of others.”
“And we’ll deal with those as they come.”
They sat and ate souvlaki and moussaka and spanakopita. When they finished, he leaned forward to start gathering up their dishes. She sat up and turned, straddling him and pushing him back into the sofa.
“Where do you think you’re going?” she playfully asked.
“I was going to clean up for us.”
She leaned in and kissed him, hard, keeping her hands on his shoulders and grinding her hips against him.
It didn’t take him long to get into it, his hands settling on her waist as she felt his cock grow hard in his slacks.
She closed her eyes and poured her heart and soul into that kiss, exploring, tasting, teasing, coaxing. Wanting him to focus on her, on them, and to release his past the way she knew she needed to release hers.
They had tonight and each other and she didn’t want to waste a moment on regrets.
Happiness was too damn close, so close she could taste it on his breath, so close she would do anything to hold onto it for the rest of her life. Not just with him, but with both of them.
Her hands burrowed into his hair as they kissed. She cradled his head, loving even this, the way his hair slipped through her fingers.
Simple things, things she’d been denied—or denied herself—for too damn long.
No more.
Catching her breath, she rested her forehead against his. “I do want this to last. I don’t want this to be just a temporary thing. I want both of you.” She forced herself to stare into his eyes.
He met her gaze and nodded. “Me, too.”
“You’re okay with this? With all three of us?”
“Yeah.” He smiled. “You know, when I think about it, maybe I’m more the grumpy one than the funny one. Rhys can be pretty funny.”
“That’s okay. I can be pretty grumpy, too.”
“Where do we go from here?” he softly asked.
“Bedroom?” She grinned.
“That’s not what I meant.”
She didn’t want to be sad. Not tonight. They had a chance for something so beautiful, so right. “We don’t need to settle everything tonight. I think the three of us have a lot of talking ahead of us. And that’s okay, too.”
“Long haul?”
She kissed him again. “Long haul.”
“Okay.” He slid his right hand up her back and tangled his fingers in her hair. His focus shifted slightly, to her mouth instead of her eyes. She felt his grip tighten as he pulled her back down, crushing her mouth on top of his with his hand against the back of her head.
She quashed the initial instinct to fight and free herself. As the sensations reverberated through her, she found herself melting against him, a soft moan escaping her as she kissed him, hard.
“Like that?” he gasped. From his tone she wasn’t sure if that was a question as to her preference, or a request to critique his performance.
Maybe both.
“I love that,” she whispered, kissing him again, hopefully answering his question in both ways. Because she loved it, and what he was doing to her.
He rolled to the side, onto the sofa, on top of her, still kissing her.
Everything he did, every brush of his lips, the feel of his body, broke down the defenses she’d worked so hard to build over the years. She closed her eyes and hoped he didn’t stop. The intensity of her emotions frightened and thrilled her
at the same time.
She felt his erection as it pressed against her through his slacks, but he made no move to speed things up. He appeared perfectly content to lie there on top of her, exploring and tasting and even teasing. His confidence seemed to build with their passion, with every moment she welcomed and reciprocated his attention.
Maybe we both desperately need this.
When he lifted his head and stared down at her, something about the expression in his blue eyes shattered her will, made her want to be with him forever, to keep making him look at her like that.
“Are you okay?” he softly asked.
She nodded, not trusting her voice.
He climbed off the couch and held a hand out to her, his gaze never leaving hers. Without a word she let him take hand and lead her to the bedroom. Beside her bed, he took her into his arms again and kissed her, slowly swaying with her.
There was no rush, no hurry. As they kissed again, she felt her fears that the chemistry of the previous encounters had been a fluke or that it would feel different with just him melt away. It was still hot and sultry, sweet, and every bit as good.
Still taking his time, he slowly lifted her shirt, caressing her flesh with his hands as he did. She held up her arms so he could remove it, immediately returning to his embrace and his ready lips, flesh to flesh.
Slowly, he backed her toward the bed. “I want to be with you,” he said. “Not just like this.”
“Are you sure you’re okay with it being the three of us?”
She loved his smile. “I’m okay with it if you are,” he said. “I’m not about to question why you’re into us.”
Maybe he hadn’t loved and lost the way she had, but his emotional scars ran pretty deep. She suspected Rhys had his fair share, too.
“You can’t go putting yourself down with me.” She nibbled on his lower lip. “I don’t care what women before me thought about you. I think you’re both handsome men, funny, sweet, smart. I don’t need a gym rat. I don’t care what you think the ideal guy is, because all that should matter to you is what I think of you guys. And I think you’re both great just the way you are.”
“That goes both ways,” he said. “We think you’re beautiful. All we want is the chance for you to let us in and let us know the real you. No walls, no putting up a brave front. Inside and out, we want to be able to be strong with you.”