in the comfortable chair. “Abandon how”. Dr. Nichols said as he pulled back out Josh file. “My Dad took away my mother and sister and I was left all alone”. Dr. Nichols slowly sat in his chair and leaned back in thought, he was silent for nearly five minutes. “Doc, doc stay with me would you; I don’t need you going off to la la land”. Josh said as he waved his hands in front of him. “ No no Josh, it just kind of took me by surprise, I would not have expected that, I am really sorry to hear that and I am sorry I put the pressure on you but some things must be moved out of the way before you can get to the heart of the matter”. “Doc, I really want to move forward because I really do want this special woman in my life but I don’t want the horrible memories I had to haunt me again”. “Joshua... I mean Josh, you have to move forward if you want a new beginning. That’s the only way things are going to work out right for you”, look I add on another ten minutes free of charge; I really need you to tell me about the abandonment issue with your parents”. “What about your date doc!” Josh said easing into the chair. “Don’t worry if she is the great girl who I think she is, well she will understand”. Joshua started tell Dr. Nichols all about how is parents and how he ended up being an orphan, Joshua couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down his face, his chest trembled from the anxiety of that night, his hands clinched tight from the fear of remembering his dad anger that day in the forest preserve. It took nearly five years after the incident to not react over anything that resembled the sound of gun fire. Oh how he had a lot of past hurts cluttering his heart, so many years had piled up so much animosity and pain. For all the hurt that he went through he would bandage it up to keep from looking at the scar straight in the eye. He couldn’t bare the thought of losing his family all over again; to relieve the tragedy in his mind time after time. Joshua nearly cleaned out the box of Kleenex of Dr. Nichols desk. “ Josh, I don’t want you to go on until there are no more tears and I truly am touched by your experience, please come and have lunch with me this Tuesday at the Riverside Café, they have the greatest cold pastas there is”. Dr Nichols said as he gave him a pat on the back. “I don’t know doc, what If we start talking about my past and I start balling like a little baby in public, what I would look like”. Josh said as he put the rest of his used Kleenex in the wastebasket. “Don’t worry Josh, I have a feeling you can hold your composure, I just think it will relax you more if you would enjoy the scenery and some great food, so what do you say?” “Well, yeah wait am I still paying you!” Dr. Nichols chuckled as he put back Josh folder. “Of course, but I’ll treat for lunch”. “Hey you still get the better end of the deal here”. Josh said half smiling.
In Hopes of Moving Forward
I finally convinced Crissy to just go out and allow me to stay home and just relax. I know she has good intentions but sometimes she makes so much of a fuss over me that she neglects her personal life, She needs a life too and I don’t want to stand in the way of that, besides I needed time to think over meeting Josh in the park today, could I had said something different, did I smile to much or to little, did I give enough eye contact…oh dear so many little details to makeup for a lot of nonsense. Why should I ponder about Josh, he didn’t even care to meet me half way. Clarrisa tried so hard to convince herself that she really didn’t want to see Josh any more but the more she convinced herself the more she missed him. She prayed so many times that God would change Josh heart and that he would want to begin a life in Christ and yet she didn’t see a change. She knew that God schedule wasn’t her schedule but she sure was hoping for a quick turn around but she didn’t give up. Sometimes she didn’t have the strength to pray for the same thing over again and some days she did but her mom taught her that pray changed situations and conditions but right now it doesn’t look like any changes are occurring at this point. Clarrisa had to make a decision to move forward in her life, she did not want to hold on to what might or might not be. She had to make a stand, it’s either sit around and be miserable and think on what could have been with Josh or it’s going to be day by day living life on a fresh start. Just then the phone rang and startled Clarrisa, she was so in thought it took her by surprise. She quickly reached over the arm of the couch for the phone hoping it would be Josh and then she paused, what if it is Josh and I answer to quickly then he will think that I was waiting on him but if I don’t answer right away and it is Josh he might hang up to soon. Clarrisa slowly turned over her cell phone and looked at the caller Id number she really didn’t recognize the number but she answered anyway. “Hello”. The deep voice said on the other end. “Hello”. Clarrisa said very curious. “Clarrisa, hi its Allen Page….Allen from the bakery on Tenth Street….you and your sister Crissy usually come in on Fridays and get our special flavored coffee and danishes”. He said nervously. “Allen….ohhhhh Allen, Hi”. Clarissa said relieved to finally put a face to the voice and Allen sighed with relief as well hearing that she did recognize him. “Allen how did you get my cellular number”. “I do apologize Clarrisa, I know it’s not traditional but your sister Crissy was in here this pass Friday and well, she and I were talking and it was mentioned in conversation that your engagement is off and well…Crissy that thought maybe you and I should go out for coffee one day”. What! Has Crissy lost it, what is she thinking giving out my number like that”. Wait until she gets home tonight, boy is she going to get an ear full. “Allen, I am flattered that you would consider going out with me but...”. “ Clarrisa I see where this is going but hear me out…okay; I have always had a crush on you since you and your sister came in the bakery for the very first time but I would never say anything, thinking that a nice woman like you wouldn’t want to date an average guy like me and when I did have the courage to ask you out that’s when you came In the bakery with the guy who you called your fiancé, so you see I really was interested in you for quit some time, I just didn’t have the opportunity to express myself and since your sister told me of the news of your breakup well, I figured you could use a night out”. Clarrisa was just about to turned Allen down for the invite but she remembered that she needed to move forward in her life, the change had to come sooner or later, so why not sooner; besides Allen is an attractive guy and he does have some things going for him. “Allen, I would be delighted to go out sometime”. Just then Clarrisa heard the phone drop and then silence. “Allen, Allen are you there”. Clarrisa said wondering if he was okay, she even giggled a bit secretly. There was noise of some kind and then Allen made a sound of relief sigh. “Sorry about that, I was kind of taken off guard by your answer, that’s wonderful, how about Tuesday for lunch I know a great restaurant that you will love, Crissy tells me you really enjoy pasta and I know the perfect place”. “That sounds nice Allen”. Clarrisa said. “Great! I’ll pick you up at noon at your shop”. “Sound good Allen, bye”. Clarrisa hung up the phone and immediately all her emotions for Joshua sort of took a back seat for a moment, she must admit that she hasn’t been out enjoying herself in a month and it did feel pretty nice to have a guy fuss over her. Wait what is this some type of smile that has cracked across her lips. Yes indeed she is smiling again. Maybe this is exactly what she needed to get her life back on track. Poor Allen he may not be Mr. Right but for now he is Mr. Right now and who know where this may lead and if Clarrisa memory serve her correctly she did notice him at some of the church services, hmmmm. There might be something to all of this who knows. Clarrisa decided to enjoy the rest of her night since she was in a good mood with some flavorful chocolate fudge ice-cream and an action pack movie, Why spoil the rest of her night. Things were starting to look up for her. Hey she even decided not to give Crissy an ear full but she did decide to wait up for Crissy to see how her night out went.
LUNCH DATE
The afternoon started off very well, Allen came and picked up Clarrisa and did all the right things a woman would want a guy to do, from opening the car door, helping her with her jacket and pulling out the chair. Hmmm maybe to well; Clarrisa was a little nervous from his w
onderful manners, she was hoping that he would mess things up and that way she could think back on how Josh was the perfect match for her but of course it is not working out that way. Allen looked great, it’s a wonder why she never knew that before; he was polite, well mannered, funny, smart and he loved animals, which of course is a major plus in her book. “ Clarrisa I am so glad that you said yes to lunch, I must admit that I was a little nervous and I really didn’t expect a answer right a way or even an answer at all. “Allen, you’re going to make me blush, I am not that unapproachable that you couldn’t converse with me”. Clarrisa said as she continued to eat her pasta salad. “Well I am glad that I am now out of that phase”. Allen said as he raised his glass of ice tea for a toast. “Here is to more great lunches now and in the future”. Clarrisa actually giggled like a school girl, so much attention for one date; she lifted her glass with an honest smile. “More lunches”. Clarrisa said as she sipped on her