CHAPTER TEN
I’M SO EMBARRASSED
All night long, President Sinclair deliberated on what would happen to Bartholomew. Should he live, or would he be sacrificed? He talked with the warden at Guantanamo Bay. The alien was a model prisoner. He made no trouble. He never fought back. He stuck to his story. The warden started to believe him.
As the sun rose, the President and President-elect came to a decision. Howard and his million plus followers awaited it.
“My fellow Americans, the Qadarians have had many chances to attack us and have chosen not to. They insist they are only here to help us.
“There is a man out there who is trying to instill terror in not only America, but also the world. So far, his opinion has yet to be proven to be fact.
“It’s in the best judgment for not only our race, but also theirs that at nine o’clock this morning, the alien Bartholomew is to be released and free to return to his people.
“Furthermore, any attacks on the Qadarians would be treated as an attack on America. And anyone who attacks a Qadarian will be arrested.”
Howard was furious. Immediately, he went to his blog.
“Time to put Phase Two into effect. We must drive the aliens from our planet by any means necessary.
“Our President has threatened to arrest anyone who attacks one of them. Well, there are more of us than there are of them. He must be shown their true nature.
“This lame-duck President refuses to take action. We won’t. The Resistance now declares war on the parasites.”
Seeing this, President Sinclair called on the National Guard. They would join the local police departments in protecting the Qadarians.
Inside the cube, the runners had increased to sixteen. Again, they were oblivious to the drama outside.
At nine o’clock, Bartholomew was released from the prison. As a ship was landing to pick him up, a single shot was fired. The shot came from Armando Figueroa. The bullet struck Bartholomew in the back of the head. He collapsed to the ground. The shot killed him instantly.
“¡Viva la Resistencia!” He put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger as guards from Guantanamo Prison ran to arrest him.
At first, Tobias was noticeably upset. He felt betrayed, told one thing by the President and action to the contrary.
Before he let anger consume him, something that was rare among the Qadarians, he saw it was an act of a single person, not the race as a whole.
He decided that the curing stations would open as scheduled. There would be no retaliation.
As they opened the curing tent in New York, the line for the cure-all was smaller, while the line for the Resistance had grown. Some carried weapons, such as baseball bats and two-by-fours.
The police and National Guard tried to stop the Resistance from interfering. When they were overpowered by the greater number, they drew their weapons. They would only shoot as a last resort.
Some of the Resistance still broke through the line and began to attack the Qadarians. They beat the aliens until they could no longer move.
Having reached the breaking point and to prevent further deaths, the Qadarians fired back at their attackers. The Resistance was no match for the advanced weapons.
As the bodies piled up, some of the National Guardsmen had a change of heart. They saw the Qadarians had weapons of mass destruction. Was their loyalty to America or to the Qadarians?
Though it violated a direct order from their Commander-in-Chief, they shot at the Qadarians. Outnumbered, the Qadarians retreated to their ship.
Howard stood back and watched everything unfold as he predicted. His message was sent loud and clear. If you stay, you will die.
All around the world, the Qadarians met the same kind of resistance. And likewise, they were driven back.
After lunch, Levi addressed the twenty-four. He was told to make no mention of the attacks and to act as though nothing had happened.
“Good day, all. Today, we will discuss a different kind of topic. The past few days have been about pleasant moments. Today, we want to talk about some unpleasant moments. We would like for you to share a time in your life you consider embarrassing.”
“My friend and I stopped off for a few drinks after seeing the Alouettes beat the Winnipeg Blue Bombers,” Marc said. “I was still young and not much of a drinker.
“As we left the bar at closing time, I felt fine. We went to Denny’s for a late night snack. I ordered cheese fries and a root beer.
“After eating, I still felt fine. I went up to use the restroom. The next image I remember was coming to sitting against a booth.
“My friends told me that I passed out, that I did a head-first nosedive into the booth. Just lucky I didn’t hit my head on the table. One of my friends stood by the door, apparently ashamed to be with me.
“As I started to stand, I could feel the cheese fries come back up. I motioned for a trash can. When they brought it over, I threw up in it. Everyone in the restaurant turned to look at me.”
“I was still new to the firm,” Bella said. “My boss asked me to bring him a very important file about a major acquisition.
“I went to the file cabinet to get the file. It was gone. I asked him if he had the file. He got mad and demanded I bring him the file.
“I panicked. I frantically searched around the office looking for the file. I just couldn’t find it.
“I gave up searching for it. My head fell to the desk. When I opened my eyes, there was the file, sitting there the whole time.
“I forgot I got it out that morning, thinking he would need it later. How embarrassing.”
“I get embarrassed sometimes when some parents drop off their kids and think I don’t speak English,” Luisa said. “They take one look at me and think I’m an illegal alien.
“They talk slowly, sometimes in broken English. Depending on my mood, I will either talk normal and prove them wrong or play stupid and act as they assume me to be.
“I’m embarrassed that people use that stereotype thinking every Hispanic person doesn’t speak English and that we are all illegal aliens.”
“The day I gave my first sermon,” Dennis said, “I was so nervous. I spent all night on the message.
“Then, I got in front of the congregation and tripped on my way to the pulpit. Midway through the service, I lost my place and read the wrong passage.
“I was so scared that I would mess up the next Sunday. I spent the entire week getting ready. I was much more comfortable the second time.”
“The proudest moment of my life was to be when I was to receive my doctorate degree,” Akiko said. “Instead it became one of my most embarrassing.
“As I walked up the steps to the stage, I tripped over my gown and fell flat on my face in front of everybody.
“I almost didn’t get up. How could I ever show my face in public again?
“Then, I felt somebody helping me up. I wanted to shake that person free. Then, I heard his voice. ‘You have to get up.’
“It was Yukio. In all my darkest moment, he was there to bring me back into the light. He helped me up, then dropped to one knee and proposed to me.
“I forgot all about the fall when he asked me to marry him.”
“I remember my freshman year of high school,” Tracy said. “It was the awards assembly at the end of the year. As it went on, they announced Tracy Myers for an award in world history. I got up to accept the award.
“As I was about to reach the stage, it occurred to me. I don’t take world history. The award was for Tracy Myers, M-Y-E-R-S, a junior. My maiden name was Meyers, M-E-Y-E-R-S.
“I’m glad I stopped myself before I got on stage and made an even bigger fool of myself.”
“I get embarrassed anytime I go to a cookout,” Robin said. “Being a vegetarian surrounded by charred animal flesh leaves my plate pretty empty.
“All I can eat there are beans, potato or macaroni salad, and corn on the cob. And that is if they even bring anything else.
&nbs
p; “I have to deal with everyone trying to get me to eat a hamburger or a chicken leg or a steak. I have to explain to them that I don’t eat meat. Then, I have to hear them lecturing me about how much of a freak I am.
“The arguing continues all day. It just makes me wish I had stayed home that day.”
“It’s like me being limited by my handicap,” Wayne said. “If I went anywhere that had steps, I couldn’t get inside.
“Unless there was a ramp or an elevator, I was unable to visit my friends or go out to eat. And I was too proud to ask for any help. This was my burden, no one else’s.”
“My mom embarrasses me all the time,” Twyla said. “I love her to death, but I can’t take her anywhere.
“She had a mouth that always has to say something. It doesn’t matter if she knows the person; she’s not shy about talking to anyone about anything.
“Even worse is when we have company over. Eventually, the conversation turns to my childhood. All the embarrassing things I did as a child.
“The cherry on the sundae would be when she brings out the baby pictures. Pictures of me in my diaper. Just what others need to see.
“I know she means well and all, but she just doesn’t know when to quit.”
“As I said before, I hate the paparazzi,” Jessica said. “Especially the one time that nearly ruined my career.
“I was out with some friends, celebrating the release of Final Exam. The bartender brings us a round of shots. As we go to pay for them, he says they are already paid for by the guy at the end of the bar.
“As we look down the bar, my friends cringe as he walks toward us. It wasn’t until he reached us that I saw why they cringed.
“The guy who bought us the drinks was the has-been known as Justin Beiber. His trademark hair was disheveled. Once he hit puberty, he lost his voice that made him famous. (Okay, so it wasn’t his voice that made him famous.) He had long since been forgotten.
“My friends left, but I stayed. He kept buying me shots. By the end of the night, I was so drunk that I kissed him passionately and threatened to go home with him.
“Unbeknownst to me, TMZ was taping the entire embarrassing episode and sold it to every tabloid on the planet.
“Andrew saw it and broke up with me on the spot. I lost several roles due to the negative publicity. My career nearly died.
“All thanks to an overhyped, no-talent has-been.”
“I was busted for a DUI once,” Benjamin said. “I was on my way home from our annual Christmas party. I had a few glasses of wine that night. I felt fine to drive home.
“Apparently, I was wrong. A cop saw me swerving and pulled me over. He asked me to step out of the car and walk a straight line. I barely passed that test.
“Then, he asked me to stand on one leg and touch my fingers to my nose. That test I couldn’t pass. He made me take a breathalyzer. I blew a .10, just over the legal limit.
“I was taken into custody and fined for not wearing my seat belt. It was embarrassing to call Tracy to bail me out of jail.
“I had to have special license plates put on my car, even more embarrassing. This let everyone know I was busted. I also had to go to several Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.”
“When Jack kicked me out of the house,” Barbara said, “I had no idea where I was going to live. The checking account was in his name, so I had no money to rent a room. I had no job.
“I had no family or friends that would let me stay with them for an undetermined period of time. I didn’t even have a car to sleep in.
“I considered finding the nearest cardboard box to spend the night. That was when I saw the homeless shelter. I went inside and told them of my situation.
“They gave me a bed to sleep in and a blanket to keep me warm, but they also told me this was a temporary situation. I could stay, but I also had to try and find a more permanent residence.
“That was so embarrassing going from the penthouse to the poorhouse.”
“I’m embarrassed any time I have to give my full name,” Travis said. “Not so much for my first name, but rather my middle.
“My middle name is Ashley, a girl’s name. Do you know how much I was teased as a child with a middle name like Ashley?
“That’s why I took up as many sports as I could. I had to shed the feminine image my middle name projected.
“I even got a nickname out of it. I was so crazy, they called me ‘Taz’ because of how wild I was and because it was my initials.”
“At my age, certain bodily functions tend to give out on me from time to time,” Helen said. “I fall asleep in the middle of a conversation. I forget things frequently.
“The worst is my incontinence. My bowels would release without any notice. I had no control over it. My only means of protection was Depends.
“I always had to carry an extra pair of panties and pants in the unlikely event of me pooping my pants.”
“I know it’s wrong,” Christian said, “but sometimes, I search through people’s garbage. Whenever something catches my eye, I have to see what it is.
“If it’s intriguing enough, I will, on occasion, take it for myself. After all, once you throw something away, you cease being its owner.
“One day, I saw a stack of Penthouse magazines on top of the trashcan. I looked around to see if anyone was watching. With no one else around, I put the stack on the front seat for myself. I shared a few with my partner, but I kept the rest for myself.
“Don’t look at me as if I was doing something you wouldn’t do.”
“I have been involved in a number of car chases,” Wyatt said. “Most of the times, the end result is an arrest.
“There was the one embarrassing time when the suspect got away from me. We were on a drug bust. Two of the dealers escaped out the back. They drove off.
“My partner and I followed in pursuit. Thirty minutes later, we still hadn’t caught them. We failed to notice that the gas gauge was dangerously close to empty.
“As we closed in for the arrest, we ran out of gas. The car slowly came to a halt. Thankfully, the suspects were stopped by a spike strip a few miles down the road.
“I prided myself on checking such things, but this one time I didn’t. I wouldn’t make that mistake again.”
“In 2004, my son Marshall told me that he was getting married. I didn’t know he was dating anyone. I was thrilled to meet her.
“Imagine my surprise when he introduced me to Lance McKay, the man he was going to marry. I had never been so embarrassed in all my life.
“I didn’t even know my son was a fruit. This was unthinkable. My son, gay?
“He told me he knew how I would react. They had wanted to get married for quite a while. It was only recently that gay marriage was legalized in Massachusetts.
“I refused to acknowledge their ‘relationship’, and I didn’t attend their sham of a wedding. Pastor will agree with me that the Bible defines marriage as the union of a man and a woman. It’s about Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.
“I haven’t spoken to him since.”
“I think my story tops them all,” Cassidy said. “My friend Lacey Hilgendorf and I were enjoying a fun day at the water park.
“We noticed these two creeps following us. They couldn’t have been more than sixteen. We paid no attention to them.
“As we reached the top of the water slide, one of them ran up to me and ripped off my bikini top. He jumped down the slide head first. I was so embarrassed. I quickly covered up my boobs. Still, some little kids saw me without my top.
“When I covered my top with both arms, that left my bottoms exposed. The other guy ran up and ripped off my bottoms. Now, I was completely naked. Again, he dove down the slide head first. I could cover up my boobs and my cooter, but couldn’t cover my butt.
“Thankfully, the attendant stood in front of me, blocking the view from those in line. But those coming up could still see my butt. He gave me his shirt so I could cover a little.
“I
guess when they were going down the slide, they tore my bathing suit to pieces. At least it looked that way when they came out the end of the slide.
“The attendant called for security to arrest them. They tried to get out as quickly as they could, but it wasn’t quick enough. Security caught them as they got out.
“They were handcuffed with their hands behind their backs. As an act of retaliation, the security guard dropped their swimming trunks and escorted them to the police in the parking lot naked.
“Lacey went to get my clothes from my locker. She passed by them on the way back. She took their picture with her cellphone and posted it on a gay website.
“From that day on, I never wore a two-piece swimsuit again. And I never will.”
Christian hung to her every word, having to wipe the drool from his mouth. He was infatuated with her, but he also knew she was way out of his league. So, he watched like a pervert from afar.
Knowing that no one could top that story, they ate their steak dinner, complete with baked potato, salad, and macaroni & cheese.
Howard posted the following on his blog:
“A few days ago, we took a sample of their ‘cure-all’. Just as we suspected, one of the ingredients was a substance to control our minds. Their mission wasn’t for peace, but rather to conquer our planet.”
In reality, they didn’t have the cure-all in their possession, nor did they know anyone who could analyze the contents of it, but Howard wanted everyone to believe he did.
“Today was but the first of many attacks to rid ourselves of this disease. The attacks will continue. If our President has a clue, he will see their intent and send the military after these invaders.”
That evening, Tobias addressed the world concerning the attacks at the curing tents.
“We came to your planet in peace, but you have driven us to war. We came only to help your savage planet. You have made it clear you do not want our help. You have spilled Qadarian blood but the human blood that will be spilled is on your hands. This is a fight you can’t win.”