CHAPTER FIVE
I’M SORRY
Tobias was preparing a demonstration on changing water into fuel. President Sinclair sent one of his advisors to oversee the demonstration.
Using a machine that resembled a pump, the Qadarians lowered it into the Atlantic Ocean near Richmond, Virginia. The water was sucked into a hose and ran through a series of cycles. A few minutes later, it was emptied into a barrel as fuel.
To test it, they put the fuel in an Army Hummer and took it for a test drive. Not only was it a viable source of fuel, but it also got better mileage than ordinary gas.
Needless to say, the advisor was very impressed. He called President Sinclair to give him the results. The President ordered him to approve the acquisition of as many of those pumps as he could.
In New Jersey, Howard’s cult continued to grow. He worked on the details for exposing the Qadarians for what they were, a parasite meant to live off of our needs.
In the cube, Chloe had a few more followers in her morning run. She felt like she was back at work motivating others to get healthier.
As word spread all over the world about the water-to-fuel pumps, some countries got concerned. Countries like Uganda, Afghanistan and the Czech Republic that were landlocked and would gain no income from such a machine. Countries like Saudi Arabia, Libya, and the other OPEC countries that would stand to lose considerable money with such a plentiful resource.
Howard used that to fuel (pun intended) his campaign against the Qadarians.
Since it was Sunday, Pastor Dennis gave a sermon after breakfast.
As lunch ended, it was time for Levi to address the twenty-four again.
“Good day. Is everyone doing well? Today, we would like to know a little about what you call regret or remorse.”
“My friend Julia Shafer had been feeling really depressed,” Chloe said. “Her boyfriend had broken up with her. Her job was really stressing her out. In short, she said her life was going through a downward spiral.
“She told me she wanted to kill herself. She had never said anything like that to me before, so I didn’t take her seriously.
“The next day, she didn’t show up for work. When I drove by her house that afternoon, there was an ambulance carrying her out.
“She went through with it. I felt so responsible, like there was something I could have done to stop her. She didn’t have to do this. She turned to me for help, and I shunned her. Maybe I pushed her further.”
“When I was seventeen,” Neveah said, “I was in a serious relationship with an older man, twenty-one, I believe. His name was Keenan Murphy. Well, one thing led to another, and I got pregnant.
“He was afraid if I had this baby, he would be arrested for statutory rape. I was afraid of becoming a mother at such a young age.
“We felt it best that I get an abortion. He was willing to pay for it to keep me quiet. We went and had the procedure done.
“A few years ago, I tried to have a child, but was unable to conceive. I went to a specialist. He told me that in the process of the abortion, damage was done to my uterus, damage that was unfixable.
“For the next month, I cried myself to sleep every night, knowing I could be a mother today if I had acted rationally. Now, I will never know that experience.” She started to cry as she reminisced.
“When I was in college,” Twyla said, “I was a bit of a wild child. I drank a lot; I partied a lot. Some of it I don’t remember, but there is one thing I can never forget.
“When I was a senior, a group of us went to Fort Lauderdale for Spring Break. Well, we had been out partying one night when a camera crew approached us.
“They didn’t tell us, but they were filming for Girls Gone Wild. They asked us to flash them. I was nervous, but my friends weren’t. They lifted their tops for a string of beads.
“They tried to talk me into it. In the end, I joined them and showed my boobs to the camera. Not my proudest moment. One I wish I could take back.
“Especially when my brother bought the DVD and saw me on there. I had never been that embarrassed in my life.”
“In the Bible,” Dennis said, “the most famous case of remorse is that of Judas Iscariot.
“Judas was asked to betray Jesus and hand him over to the priests. He was offered thirty pieces of silver.
“He led the Roman soldiers to Gethsemane to arrest Jesus for blasphemy.
“What Judas did not know was that Jesus was to be put to death. Matthew 27, Verse 3: ‘When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders.’
“Verse 4: ‘‘I have sinned,’ he said, ‘for I have betrayed innocent blood.’ ‘What is that to us?’ they replied. ‘That’s your responsibility.’’
“Verse 5: ‘So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then, he went away and hanged himself.’”
“My son came home one day,” Wayne said, “and told me that the girl he was seeing was pregnant. I asked him who the father was, hoping it wasn’t him.
“Unfortunately, I was wrong. She hadn’t seen anyone else. The baby was his.
“I lost it. He didn’t have a job, nor did he put much effort into searching for one. How in the world was he going to support a child? Did he plan to marry this woman? I wasn’t about to raise his child for him.
“Since he put zero thought into his actions, I did it for him. I kicked him out of the house and told him not to come back until he learned some responsibility.
“That was three years ago. From what I heard, he did get a job and marry this woman, but he still refuses to see me. I have never seen as much as a picture of my one and only grandson.
“It seemed like tough love, but I would take it all back just to see my grandson.”
“Back in 2008,” Francis said, “I heard some friends talking about a company that was growing by leaps and bounds called Facebook. Their kids and grandkids were obsessed with it. Stock options were going to be made to the public, and they asked me if I wanted in. I said yes and bought fifty shares.
“Within a year, I doubled my money. With three years, my initial investment had quintupled.
“My stock broker told me to sell while it was high. All I saw were the numbers continuing to go up. I let it ride.
“Then came the scandals about bullying on Facebook, identities being stolen on Facebook. The stock started to drop.
“But that was nothing compared to what happened when Mark Zuckerberg sold the rights to Facebook to a Japanese computer firm. In a matter of weeks, the company was disbanded.
“Stocks plummeted to almost nothing. I wish I had sold my stock when I had the chance. Instead, I was out ten thousand dollars.”
“While I haven’t dated many men,” Bella said, “none meant more to me than Jonathan Wilder. We dated for a year. I was never happier than when I was with him.
“Then one night, we went to a fancy restaurant to dinner. I knew what he was going to ask me, and I didn’t know if I was ready to take that next step.
“Sure enough, he did propose to me, on one knee and all. I was only twenty-two. I was too young to get married. There was too much of my life to live.
“Plus, I wasn’t ready for that kind of responsibility. I freaked out. Not only did I turn him down, I broke up with him. He ran out of the restaurant in tears, as did I.
“I have been miserable since then. I wish he was here today so that I could tell him how much he meant to me.”
“You know the saying ‘What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas’?” Christian said. “That isn’t necessarily so.
“On my twenty-first birthday, my friends took me to Vegas. Some people get cash for their birthday; others get presents. My friends got me drunk and a hooker.
“They spent a hundred dollars for someone whose job was done in two minutes. If not for a videotape of the evening, I wouldn’t have remembered a thing.
“Actually, yes I would. A few weeks later
, I felt a burning sensation when I urinated. I went to the doctor, and he told me I contracted a sexually transmitted disease, chlamydia to be more specific. After a cocktail of antibiotics, I was cured.”
“As I said yesterday,” Jessica said, “sometimes I get scared to take a role, fearing it may shorten or end my career.
“Well, sometimes it causes me to pass up roles that would lengthen it. One such case was Reality Check. I was offered the lead female role in the movie. There was just something about it I didn’t like, so I turned it down.
“As you know, Miley Cyrus took the lead, and the movie was a huge success. Miley reached mega-superstar level because of this movie, a level I have yet to reach. I think Final Exam will take me there, but I should be there already if only I had taken that role.”
“There was a girl in high school, Carmella Principe, who asked me out to senior prom,” Travis said. “I already had a date, but she didn’t know that. My friends told me to pull a prank on her and say that I would go with her. I did.
“On the night of prom, my friends, our dates and I rode by her house in a limo. She had worked for three straight days on her prom dress. It looked like one you would buy in a fancy store.
“I stood up through the sunroof as we approached her house. Then, my date stood up and kissed me. I will never forget the look on her face. Her heart was shattered.
“My friends all laughed at their cruel prank, but I couldn’t enjoy the evening, knowing I had ruined one of the most important nights of her life.
“Monday at school, I tried to explain what happened and try to make restitutions. She refused to acknowledge me. I can’t blame her. I wish I had just been honest with her from the start.”
“When I killed my wife,” Quincy said, “I knew what I did was wrong. I wasn’t thinking rationally and let my emotions take over.
“When reality hit me, I felt instant remorse. I wished that I could take it back, but there was no coming back from where she went.
“I felt so bad that I nearly took the cleaver to my own throat, but I was too distraught to follow through.
“One time in prison while folding bed sheets, I entertained the thought of tying one around my throat and throwing the other end over a rafter and pulling.
“I can never forget nor forgive myself for killing them.”
“I have never told my wife this,” Benjamin said. “I had gotten a new secretary, Kyla Bradshaw. The temp agency sent her over.
“For the first few months, everything seemed normal. As time went on, though, I could see a few subtle changes in her.
“She was quick to bring me my morning coffee, and not just your average store brand coffee. The expensive Starbucks coffee.
“She also dressed a bit more provocatively than normal business attire. She made sure I noticed how she looked.
“Then one morning when she brought me my coffee, she told me she loved me and wanted to be with me. She grabbed my tie and drew me in for a kiss. Our lips touched. I pushed away.
“I told her I was a happily married man, and nothing or no one was going to change that. I fired her that day for sexual harassment.”
“Why did you never tell me this?” Tracy asked. “How long ago was this?”
“Six months ago. I didn’t tell you because it was nothing and I was afraid you would overreact.”
“Well, since we are confessing, I have a confession, too. You know our new gardener Ignacio? Well, I have been watching him work.
“I have seen him with his shirt off in the summer, with his long, dark hair. I couldn’t help but think of the covers of some of my romance novels.
“In bed, when things weren’t happening, I thought of him. I know it was wrong thinking of another man when I’m in bed with my husband. Can you forgive me?”
“I wondered why the sex was better these last few months. I guess if you can forgive me, I can forgive you.”
After a few more stories, dinner appeared. They presented steamed tilapia, Spanish rice, salsa and spinach.
In New Jersey, Howard put the finishing touches to his plan. He would unveil them tomorrow night outside Newark Town Hall.
As night fell on the cube, Twyla felt a bit uneasy. She asked Michael to help her back to her pod. She may have had a bit too much salsa at dinner. Or maybe it was something else.