She shook her head. “That might be the abolition of Ka-dence”
He sank back on the bed. “That would be unbearable.”
“Melete, what can we do?” Rhythm asked the Muse.
“You will just have to persuade the stork authorities that you were of age when the stork was signaled, and when the baby was delivered,” Melete said.
“Well, we were,” Rhythm said.
“But their records may not show it, understandably”
Rhythm nodded. “Yes, that could be the case. Once we explain, they’ll understand. I hope”
Cyrus hoped so too. “It says to report there within forty-eight hours. I don’t even know where the Stork Works is.”
“I can find it,” Rhythm said. “But—”
“But you don’t want to give away your nature by helping me get there magically,” Cyrus said.
“The notice should have instructions,” Melete said.
Rhythm looked. “Oh, yes. I didn’t read that far before. It says there will be a pastel- colored line showing a safe way.” She looked around. “Oh, I see it now! It leads right out of the tent.”
“But I can’t go right now,” Cyrus protested. “The play—”
“Will keep,” Melete said. “Better than you will, if you don’t make that hearing.”
“What would be the penalty?” he asked.
“It could be anything from banishment from Xanth to abolition of your child.”
“No!” Rhythm cried. “We already know we can’t allow that”
But the notion clung to Cyrus like burning tar. “Kadence! We can’t let her be abolished.”
“So you will make that hearing,” Melete said firmly. “Tell Curtis you have an urgent appointment and will be back in four days. Rhythm will help cover for you.”
“The bleep I will,” Rhythm said. “I’m going with him. I’m not going to let them banish him.”
“Then who will watch out for Kadence?” Melete asked evenly.
That faint bit of barbarian wildness played across Rhythm’s face. “We had better take her too. She has a right to speak, if she faces extinction. But I’m not going to let that happen, even if I have to do something rash”
Cyrus realized that her dangerous Sorceress aspect was coming into play. He loved it. Even the Stork Works should be wary of crossing this girl. “I agree. But how can we explain the three of us departing together?”
“I will cast a small believing spell as you tell Curtis,” Rhythm said grimly.
“That works,” he agreed.
He went immediately to see the producer. Curtis offered no objection. “Just return with inspiration for the next play. We have a schedule to keep.”
“We’ll keep it,” Cyrus agreed.
Next he talked to Don Donkey. “You have been faithfully and quietly guarding my tent all this time,” he said. “Now I need you to do more.”
“We’re going somewhere,” Don said.
“I am. You’re not. I need you to stay here and keep an eye on things for me.”
“Hee haw!” the donkey laughed. “As if I have any authority.”
“I’m serious. I need to know that nothing goes wrong here while I’m away. So you can walk around the camp, keeping your eyes open, and I’ll look through them every so often to see what you’re seeing. You can also give me verbal reports.”
“I’d rather travel.”
“Maybe next time.”
“Grumble.”
“Hee haw,” Cyrus laughed.
They found Kadence. “Come with us,” Rhythm said. “It’s important”
The child didn’t argue. She respected her mother, more than ever since discovering the powers of Sorcery.
Soon they were following the pastel line out of the camp. Cyrus had some trouble seeing it at first, so Rhythm enhanced it with a spell so that both he and Kadence could see it clearly. That way there would never be any doubt about their route.
“But you know, Kadence,” Rhythm said as they walked. “When we camp to night—”
“Oh, I know. You can put a sleep spell on me so you can do naughty things with Father.”
“Are you sure you have no idea what they are?” Rhythm asked suspiciously. She was increasingly like a regular mother when with her daughter.
“Of course I don’t know,” the girl said. “And of course Aunt Melody and Aunt Harmony haven’t told me anything. I’m sure pan ties have nothing to do with it”
Cyrus had to bite his tongue. The girl was learning early what secrets to keep.
The pastel line led them to a campsite they hadn’t known about before. It wasn’t on the enchanted path network, which meant there could be danger, but Rhythm was sure she could handle it.
“There’s even a nice bed,” Kadence remarked. “Can I have it?”
Rhythm hesitated. “Let me borrow Cousin Eve’s talent to check it. She can tell anything about anything that isn’t alive, just by touching it.” She poked a finger at the bed. And froze.
“Rhythm!” Cyrus exclaimed, alarmed.
“Mother!” Kadence said, also alarmed.
Rhythm just stood there, her finger touching the bed. She did not seem to be breathing.
Cyrus threw his arms about her and lifted her away from the bed. Then she came back to life. “Dear, I haven’t changed yet,” she murmured in his ear, then kissed it.
She meant her age. She thought he was embracing her. “You were stuck there frozen,” he said, setting her down. “We feared for you.”
“Now I remember. I touched that bed, and it was as if I died. I couldn’t even breathe.” She faced the bed. “Now I know its nature: it’s a Death Bed. Anyone who lies on it, dies.”
“I was going to lie on it!” Kadence said, horrified.
“Don’t touch it,” Cyrus said, also horrified.
“Maybe this isn’t the best place to camp,” Kadence said, shuddering.
“I’ll destroy it,” Rhythm said, her drum and drumsticks appearing.
“Wait,” Cyrus said. “This is not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe people who are tired of life come here. It would be an easy way to end it. All we have to do is leave it alone.”
“You’re so practical,” Rhythm said, turning an adoring gaze on him.
“I wish you wouldn’t do that when you’re—twelve,” he said uncomfortably.
“I got my crush on you at this age,” she said. “That’s what got us into this mess. But I don’t want to waste any part of my adult hour on incidentals like talk or food”
She had a point. “Still, when Kadence is present—”
“As if I didn’t know you love each other,” Kadence said.
“Still, it’s an awkward situation”
That sobered Kadence. “Are they going to abolish me?” she asked plaintively.
Rhythm hugged her. “Over my dead body.”
“Don’t lie on the Death Bed!” Kadence cried, half laughing.
That gave Cyrus an awful thought. “That Death Bed—could it be along this route not by accident?”
Rhythm met his gaze, appalled. “The storks—they wouldn’t do that, would they?”
“Of course not,” Cyrus said. But he was in doubt. The elimination of Kadence might be the first step in dealing with his Violation of the Adult Conspiracy.
“I’m going to tell my sisters,” Rhythm said grimly. “They’ll look out for us.”
“Is that wise? They might do something rash”
She nodded. “They might indeed. All right, I’ll leave them out of it, for now.”
“Maybe that’s best,” Cyrus agreed. This was anything but an innocent trip.
There was a patch of pretty flowers shaped like mugs, each filled with nectar. Rhythm touched one cautiously with her little finger. “It’s ale!” she said. “Fem ale.”
“It’s for you,” Kadence said. “Female.”
“No,” Cyrus said firmly. “Ale—any ale—is an adult drink. You two stick to boot rear or tsoda pop.”
> “A www,” Rhythm and Kadence said together, smiling.
“I will stick with innocent drinks too,” he said.
“That’s nice of you,” Rhythm said. But there was a mischievous twinge he didn’t quite trust. She was too prone to naughtiness. He loved and feared that.
Cyrus remembered something. “I’d better check on Don.”
“Your robot donkey?” Kadence asked. “He’s nice. I wish he had come along.”
“I asked him to stay, to keep an eye on the troupe. He is made with a robot radio that I can tune in on with the robot part of my brain.” He closed his eyes, mentally dialed the number, and tuned in. “How are things, Don?”
“Routine,” the donkey said, looking around to show nothing happening. “Dull.”
“That’s good.” He tuned out.
“That’s weird,” Kadence said approvingly.
“Well, I am half robot.”
“And half human,” Rhythm said. “As I am about to prove again.”
“Rhythm!” But he couldn’t help liking the way she proved it.
They had pies and boot rear, then settled for the night away from the Bed. Rhythm did put a sleep spell on her daughter, then invoked the Decade spell she had not used before and embraced Cyrus.
“Technically Rhythm is of age now,” Melete said, watching from the tree branch where he had set her. “If necessary, she can demonstrate that spell to the storks. The storks should realize that there is no Violation. Technically”
Cyrus hoped that was the case. But if the storks went by her regular age, he would be in severe trouble. Just how seriously were they taking his matter? That bed…
“Now I can have that ale,” Rhythm said. She went to pick up the Fem ale mug, and he couldn’t stop her. So he took a mug also. His turned out to be Reg ale, which seemed fit for a feast.
She tried a sip. “This is good,” she remarked, and took a bigger sip. “I always suspected that Adults were hiding secret pleasures from children.” She took a gulp.
“You should go easy on that stuff,” he said.
“Really?” She swallowed more. “I’m feeling great.”
“That’s its effect. But too much can make you sick.”
“I don’t believe it.” She drained the mug. She became visibly more voluptuously female.
Cyrus was nervous about this. She was adult, for the hour, but lacked much adult experience. He was feeling his own drink, and feared she was too. “I hope I’m not contributing to your delinquency.”
“I’m not going to let them banish you, Cyrus—or Ka-dence,” Rhythm said, her hair turning wild. “I am a Sorceress, and with my sisters’ help I mean to set this whole thing straight.” She got up to go for another drink.
He had to distract her before she got drunk. “Oh, I love you, I love you!” he said, kissing her. “Especially when you start being barbaric.”
“Even though I used a love spring on you?” she asked teas-ingly.
“I told you: you won me with your first grown kiss. That love spring didn’t make any more difference to me than it did to you”
“I know.”
“You do? How?”
“Because it wasn’t really a love spring. I just told you that so you wouldn’t resist.”
“You vixen! If I had known that—”
“You would have resisted despite loving me,” she said. “Instead of abandoning yourself to the passion of it”
He nodded. “I would have tried to resist. I don’t think you would have let me succeed.”
“True. I would have done this.” She did something naughty.
“Rhythm!” He had thought he was beyond shock. At her for doing it, and at himself for liking it.
“And this.” Naught ier.
“I would not have succeeded,” he agreed as he reacted. He was beginning to feel a bit barbaric himself. What a woman she was!
Then she lurched to her feet, staggered to the nearest brush, and spewed out the remains of her ale.
He got up and held her while she heaved. “I’m sorry.”
“You warned me.” After a messy moment she straightened up. “I’m okay now.”
“That’s good.”
“Next time I’ll drink slower.”
“That will spare you the sickness.”
“That will spare me from telling you more than I should”
So she hadn’t intended to tell him about the fake love spring. “And doing more than you should.”
“No, that’s all right. I love you.” She kissed him avidly. Her mouth was rather slippery, but he didn’t mind.
“Are you sure you’re up to—”
She hauled him to the ground with her. She was intoxicat-ingly female despite losing much of the drink. “Quite sure”
In due course their hour ended, Rhythm reverted, and they sank blissfully into normal sleep, side by side. If Melete found that improper, she didn’t say. Maybe she had been freaked out by their naughtiness. Or just maybe she had enjoyed the show.
In the morning they organized and made ready to resume following the pastel trail. Cyrus assumed it would get them there on time. He checked on the troupe via Don, and was pleased that things there remained completely dull.
There was a swirl of smoke. “What is happening sound?”
Cyrus and Kadence stared. “Did that smoke talk?” Ka-dence asked.
“I think it did,” Cyrus said.
“Metria, go away,” Rhythm snapped.
“Happening how?” Cyrus asked, perplexed.
“Don’t say that!” Rhythm said. “It will only get her started.”
“Approved, solid, boom, bell, echo, noise, listen—”
“Hear?” he asked.
“What ever,” the smoke agreed, irritated.
“Here!” Kadence exclaimed. “What is happening here!”
“Exactly what I said,” the smoke said, forming into a luscious human female body. “I recognize Princess Rhythm, but who the bleep are you?”
“I’m Kadence,” the girl said. “I’m six years old.”
“Ooof! You’re a child. I take back the bleep.”
“And this is the Demoness Metria,” Rhythm said with resignation. “She’s always a nuisance”
Cyrus sorted through his memory bank. There she was, a mischievous demoness with a speech impediment dating from the time she was stepped on by a Sphinx. “Hello, Metria,” he said. “I am Cyrus Cyborg, and this is my—” He caught himself. “My young friend Kadence”
The demoness studied him, then Kadence, then Rhythm. “I’ll be bleeped! There’s a family favor. You must be related.”
“Go away,” Rhythm said. “It’s none of your business.”
“In fact she looks like a young Sorceress. I’d almost think—but you’re too young for that”
“Obviously,” Rhythm said.
“Not that obvious. You’re a winsome girl who could almost pass for a woman and charm a man if she tried hard enough, if he didn’t care about the Adult Conspiracy. Except that you couldn’t have a six- year- old—” The demoness paused, noticing the bed. “What’s that?”
“Don’t touch it,” Cyrus said quickly.
“Why so sensitive?” Metria asked, moving to the bed. “Did someone do something naughty on it?” She sat down on it.
And exploded into noxious vapor.
“Oops,” Rhythm said, seeming not completely dismayed.
“What the bleep is this thing?” the vapor asked. “It feels like a goose melody!”
“A what?” Cyrus asked.
“Swan song!” Kadence said gleefully. It seemed she was also good at organizing words.
“It’s a death bed,” Cyrus explained. “I tried to tell you not to touch it.”
“I never do what I’m told.” The vapor coalesced into the sultry female form. “Good thing I’m not really alive.”
“Good thing,” Cyrus echoed. Now he understood why Rhythm had not wanted the demoness here. If she fathomed their situation, she
would blab it all over Xanth. She needed to be diverted or distracted.
“So what are you three travelers up to?” Metria inquired.
Rhythm opened her mouth, but Cyrus spoke first. “I am a Playwright, and these two have parts.”
“I’m the Prompter,” Kadence said proudly.
“A Playwright,” Metria said. “I always wanted to be an actress”
That was exactly the reaction he had hoped for. Let her get carried away by dreams of grandeur on the stage, and maybe she would forget about family resemblances. “I am currently recruiting for actors. But can you act?”
“Can I act!” she exclaimed. “I am always acting! Even I don’t always know exactly who I am.”
“Then maybe I’ll write a part for you in the next play. But you will have to be able to memorize lines and deliver them clearly and effectively.”
“I’ll do it! See you there.” She faded out.
“You may be smarter than you look,” Rhythm murmured.
“I hope so”
They set out, following the line. Fortunately the demoness hadn’t caught on to that, or the nature of their mission.
“However,” Rhythm murmured again. “She isn’t always as absent as she appears to be. So don’t say anything about anything.”
“Got it”
They came to a stand with an instrument on it. The instrument seemed to have a section attached to a cord that could be lifted. Cyrus reached for it.
“Don’t touch it!” Rhythm said. “I recognize it: that’s a tell-a phone.”
“A telephone?”
“It gives you a horrible urge to tell it things, heedless of your surroundings. You would surely tell it too much. Someone might overhear”
Oh. “I won’t touch it,” he agreed.
They moved on, but soon encountered another thing. In fact it was a pile of things. One was a big letter E made of iron. Another was the letter N made of gold. Another looked like a container filled with salt. “Are these safe to touch?” he asked, having learned caution.
“I know!” Kadence said. “Those are piled up puns! Irony, Golden, and a salt. Assault. Better not touch it, because it will attack you! And there’s B-salt, that will turn you to salt if you touch it. And a pool of C-salt. And D-salt that will unsalt things. You don’t want to mess with that either, because you don’t want to lose the salt in your body”