She closed her eyes, but her mind raced in circles, preventing sleep. At least Jace was happy. When she’d called him earlier, he’d excitedly told her about his day. Between Sarah, Tony, and David, they’d kept him so busy he didn’t have time to miss her. Thankfully, he’d forgotten about the cookies, so her plan to pass off store-bought ones as his had been unnecessary.
Which made her grateful and, selfishly, a little sad at the same time.
Although she wanted him to be happy, his acceptance of the situation fed into her greatest fear that he would one day leave her.
Jace was all she had.
What if Todd wanted to see him often? Would he sue for partial custody? Would they become a family of scheduled sharing?
Will he want Jace to stay with him in New York?
Just the idea of letting Jace go off with anyone, even a man who was biologically his father, was terrifying. He’d be a complete stranger to Jace. To me, too. No one stayed the same. Todd wouldn’t be the young man she’d slept with. What kind of person had he become? He likely had a career by now, maybe a wife, and possibly children.
Would that woman welcome or resent Jace?
Once I do this, it can’t be undone. Everything might change once Todd knows about Jace. Am I ready for that?
No matter how much I’d like to, I can’t pretend Jace doesn’t have a father.
And Todd deserves to know that he has a son.
The ring of her cell phone startled her. Anxious something might have happened with her son, she scrambled in the darkness for the phone and answered it in a breathless rush. “Yes?”
“Melanie, it’s Charles. I hope it’s not too late to call you.”
“Oh,” she said and sagged with relief into the bed. “No. I was still awake.”
“I wanted to make sure you settled in okay.”
“I did.”
After a pause, Charles said, “Come to dinner with me tomorrow.”
Because Sarah doesn’t want me to be alone or because you want to see me? Melanie hated that she cared what his answer to that question would be, but she didn’t let herself ask it. She wasn’t sure she could handle either possibility. “I have plans, but thank you.”
“Lunch, then?”
“That’s not necessary. I’m sure you’re busy.”
“I’m beginning to think you don’t like me,” he said softly. The purr in his voice sent a shiver of need down her spine.
If you only knew. “I know Sarah asked you to check in with me while I’m here, and I really appreciate that you have. Especially considering the night you’ve had. I was just watching you on the news. I feel awful that you rushed off to meet me before something like that.”
“I’m glad you saw the news clip. If I hadn’t been the main speaker, I would have skipped the event and . . .” He didn’t say what he would have done. “Why are you in New York, Melanie? Is it something I can help you with?”
Melanie wondered what Charles would say if she asked him to find the father of her child. Could he ever understand why I kept the truth to myself for so long? He didn’t look like a man who feared anyone or anything. How could I ever begin to explain to him the weight of regret and a shame that only grew the longer I denied it?
Until I felt trapped by both.
I had so many opportunities to do the right thing.
I should have called Todd when I first found out I was carrying his child. I could have told him when Jace was born. I did this to myself.
“Thank you, Charles, but this is something I have to do on my own.” She cleared her throat. “You’ve done more than enough for me already. Sarah’s lucky to have a brother like you.” When he didn’t comment, she continued. “I’m sorry. It’s late and I’m tired. Thanks again for calling.”
She went to hang up, but he said, “Melanie . . .”
She put the phone back to her ear. “Yes?”
After a long pause, he said, “Good night.”
She let out a shaky sigh. “Good night.” She hung up and tucked the phone beneath her pillow. It would have been so easy to agree to meet Charles. And would it have been wrong? Since the moment Jace was born, Melanie had put aside what she wanted for what he needed.
She didn’t regret a moment of it, but stepping outside of that life to go to New York made her realize how profoundly lonely she had become. It had been almost six years since she’d kissed a man. Todd hadn’t been her first, but he’d been her last.
Did Charles want more than dinner?
Melanie allowed herself to imagine what it would be like if he did. Did he have a sense of humor beneath his serious exterior? How did he feel about children? What would a first kiss be like with a powerful man like Charles? Would he hold her as he did in the airport and gently explore her lips, or would he take her mouth with a boldness that would leave her shaking in her cowboy boots?
She closed her eyes and pulled the blankets up around her.
It doesn’t matter because I’m never going to find out.
Frustrated, Charles threw his tuxedo jacket on the back of a chair as he walked through his apartment. He wasn’t a vain man, but he also wasn’t used to being brushed off by a woman. Especially not by one he wanted.
And that was the heart of the problem—when he spoke to her, nothing mattered except his need to see her again. Distracted, he uncharacteristically dropped his clothing as he walked. He had someone who came during the day a couple of times each week to tidy his apartment, but there wasn’t much for her to do. He was at work most of the day, returning home to sleep. Occasionally June would have his housekeeper leave him something to eat, but typically his refrigerator was as empty as his apartment. Like his living room furniture, his house staff was mostly an unused luxury.
Charles wasn’t a man who fumbled over his words or wavered in the face of a decision. Or he hadn’t been, before Melanie. She had him all tangled up and confused.
He wanted to save her.
Claim her.
He met beautiful women all the time, but they didn’t send his thoughts scattering and his blood rushing wildly downward with just one soulful look.
Only one woman had the power to do that.
Melanie, with her hair wild and free, as natural as the skin she didn’t hide beneath a mask of makeup. He wanted to discover how much of her was tan and taste all the places the sun hadn’t kissed.
Walking naked into the bathroom, Charles turned on the shower. He told himself to forget her. He’d be better off calling any one of the women he’d been with over the past few years, but he couldn’t remember why any of them had appealed to him.
Melanie was a fascinating mixture of grit and vulnerability. His first impression of her had been of a passionate, strong woman who feared nothing and needed no one. However, the woman he’d picked up at the airport earlier had looked lost and alone.
He should have pressed her to explain why she’d come to New York.
He didn’t like not knowing what was upsetting her.
Liked even less that he couldn’t put her out of his mind.
He called his sister. “Sarah, it’s Charles.”
“Charlie,” Sarah said with happy surprise. “I’m so glad you called. I spoke to Melanie earlier. Thank you so much for picking her up. I feel better knowing that she’s not there alone.”
“About that. Is she in some sort of trouble? What is she doing here?”
His sister was uncharacteristically quiet, and her hesitancy fueled unwelcome curiosity within Charles. He waited, knowing that Sarah wouldn’t be able to hold her silence long. Eventually she said softly, “If she didn’t tell you, I can’t.”
Irritation with himself filled Charles. Melanie was remaining in touch with his sister. She had resources she could call on if she needed someone. He didn’t need to get involved.
He should end it then and there.
Yet he said, “My schedule is flexible this week if she needs something. She can call me if she does.”
&nbs
p; “She probably won’t, Charlie,” Sarah said gently, “Melanie is a very private person. She’s built this protective shell around herself that makes her look tougher than she is. She doesn’t like anyone to know when she’s hurting or when she’s scared, but I can tell you that she’s both right now. It’s why I feel better knowing that you’re checking in on her. I should have gone with her.”
His heart thudded heavily in his chest. “Is she ill?”
Sounding a little horrified by the idea, Sarah exclaimed, “Oh no, Charlie, nothing that extreme. I hate not being able to tell you, but I promised her I wouldn’t tell anyone. She’s not sick and she’s not in danger. That’s all I can say.”
That’s not a hell of a lot. Charles fought down an impulse to charge over to Melanie’s hotel and demand to know everything. The surge of primal protectiveness in him was outside his civilized norm.
Control was his strength. He didn’t debate his strategies with his clients. He wrote his plan for action and gave them a choice to stay or walk away. They stayed because no matter how rich they were, they wanted more and knew he could deliver.
He was the same way with women—in control and detached. This is what I can offer you. Take it or leave it.
Most stayed. A few walked away. Neither decision affected him for long.
He kept his relationships simple, uncomplicated—everything that Melanie wasn’t. From what Sarah was saying, Melanie needed a friend more than she needed a lover, and that wasn’t what he wanted from her. He’d call her to make sure she was okay, but he needed to stay the hell away from her physically.
He said good night to his sister and hung up before he gave in and asked another question that would betray how his fascination with Melanie was bordering on an obsession. He remembered how Melanie’s voice had been husky, as if he’d woken her when he’d called, and fought the desire to call her to hear it one more time.
Was she sleeping?
Or was she awake and upset?
He reminded himself that either way it was none of his business.
Chapter Four
“Do you want me to wait?” the cab driver asked when he pulled up to the front of the Jones’s home early the next evening.
Amazing how easy it is to find excuses to delay what you don’t want to do.
Melanie told herself she couldn’t go to Todd’s parents’ home first thing in the morning. She needed time to plan what she was going to say. She also told herself it didn’t make sense to go in the afternoon since most people worked during the day. They probably wouldn’t be there until around dinnertime, so why waste a taxi ride? An hour ago, with her stomach churning nervously, she’d confronted her lack of action. No more excuses.
“No,” Melanie said, handing him his fare and a tip. If she had an escape route, she just might use it. Besides, the neighborhood looked safe. As safe as any street in a big city could.
New York wasn’t actually any more chaotic than parts of Melanie’s life in Texas had been. She’d done her share of rodeo roping while in high school. She’d handled crowds, thundering hooves of excited animals when she took a fall, and even rodeo clowns occasionally groping her while pretending to help her up, even after she was back on her feet. Melanie raised her chin with determination. I’ve never let spooked horses or drunk cowboys intimidate me. I can do this.
She looked up at the town house and searched for clues about the people who lived inside. It looked like an expensive home. Did that mean Todd’s family had money? Would that be a good or bad thing? She’d dressed in simple jeans and a white cotton blouse. Part of her had been tempted to buy a new wardrobe for the trip, but she felt strong in her cowboy boots and denims.
This is who I am.
It was important to Melanie for Todd’s parents to see her for who she was. She was born country and would stay country. If they couldn’t accept her, they wouldn’t accept Jace for who he was, either.
And I’ll have my answer. I’ll know I was right to keep Jace away from them.
With strong, purposeful strides, Melanie walked to the door, rang the doorbell, and held her breath. She checked the time on her phone. Six o’clock. Could they still be at work? She rang the doorbell again.
No answer. She leaned back and searched for movement in any of the windows. Nothing.
Melanie reached into the back pocket of her jeans and pulled out a small piece of paper with a phone number on it. She dialed it and closed her eyes as it rang once and then again.
Please answer.
“You’ve reached Deborah and Ryan Jones. Sorry we missed you. If you’re listening to this recording, Ryan and I are still in Mykonos. You can reach us at . . .” The woman quickly said an international phone number.
Melanie sank to her knees on the welcome mat outside their door. They’re not here and they’re not going to be.
What the hell was I thinking? Oh my God, I wasted so much money coming here. So much time. I spent last night looking at the ceiling, trying to figure out what to say.
And they’re not even fucking here.
A man stopped and asked her if she was okay. She automatically answered that she was, then took a deep gulp of air.
None of this is fucking okay. Not me. Not this.
What do I do now?
She pushed herself off the ground, dug a pen and paper out of her purse, and called the number again. Once she had their international number written down, she buried her phone back in her purse and gave herself a mental shake.
She could still find Todd. There were eighty-seven age-appropriate Todd Jones listings in New York City’s online phone book, and if she had to call each one of them, she would.
Worst case, that was at most eighty-six times a guy wouldn’t know what she was talking about when she reminded him that she had slept with him in college.
No, I guess all eighty-seven not remembering me would be worse. Seriously, one of you slept with me. I just don’t know which one.
She sighed, wishing phone books had photos.
Melanie almost hailed a cab, but she was too wound up. A walk would do her good. Luckily, New York streets were numbered. That would make finding the way back to her hotel easy. She was only fifteen blocks away.
Despite her mood, she felt a faint rush of pride that she could already navigate the city. She’d spent so much time hiding from the world that she’d begun to fear it. Those insecurities were falling away as she pushed herself outside her comfort zone.
As she walked, she took a paper from her pocket listing all of the Todd Joneses in Manhattan and studied it like there were answers in that long string of numbers. I haven’t failed. This is a delay, that’s all. Calling Todd’s parents in Greece would mean that the conversation wouldn’t happen the way she’d hoped, but maybe she was being foolish to think she’d see something in their eyes. Gain further insight from their body language.
Greece was about six or seven hours ahead, which would make it past midnight there. If they even answered, it wasn’t the best time to call. She’d waited this long to talk to them. She could wait until tomorrow morning.
She put the paper into her back pocket again. For some reason, she heard her father’s voice in her head: “Nothing worth doing is ever easy.” It was one of his favorite sayings and one that she’d rolled her eyes at every time he’d said it. Today she clung to it.
Just because this isn’t easy doesn’t mean it’s not the right thing to do.
Hopefully, it means the exact opposite.
She hadn’t told her parents she was going to New York, and this was the first moment she’d regretted not telling them where she was. Even though she was on speaking terms with them again, they weren’t what she would call close. They talked around everything that mattered.
It took distance to allow Melanie to see the role she had played in that as well. When she’d discovered that she was pregnant, she’d been ashamed to admit it was from a man she barely knew. So when her parents had pushed her for the information abou
t the baby’s father, she’d pushed back and said things she’d regretted the moment she’d voiced them.
She’d taken out her anger with herself and Todd on her parents. She saw that now. In a movie, her parents would have understood that and loved her through it. Well, life isn’t a fucking movie. In reality, anger doesn’t birth deeper understanding—it spawns more anger. And that’s exactly what had happened. Her father had gone nose to nose with her, met her anger with his own, and followed her threats with some of his own.
She missed her parents in a way she hadn’t allowed herself to since she’d walked out of their home. She decided then and there to do something about it when she returned to Texas. I’ve come this far to meet Todd’s parents. I need to find a way back to my own.
Her phone rang in her purse. Melanie paused in the middle of the street to dig it out. She looked at the caller ID before stepping to the sidewalk and answering.
Charles.
She laughed and shook her head. Of course it would be him. What a perfectly fucked-up way to round off the day. She answered it. “Hello?”
“Where are you? Your hotel said you’re still checked in but you’re not there.”
“You called my hotel?”
Charles was silent for a moment. “Tell me where you are. I’ll come pick you up.”
She looked around and read the sign. “I’m on East 23rd and Madison. I don’t need a ride. I’m only six blocks from my hotel.”
“I’m on my way.”
A nervous shiver went up her back and she paused from walking again. There was something in his voice. “Did something happen?”
Before he had time to answer, Melanie felt herself being pulled nearly off her feet as a young man grabbed her purse off her shoulder and started to run away with it. All the emotions that had been building within her that day rose and fused in a fury she’d never before experienced. “I’ll kill him,” she growled.
“Who? What are you talking about?” Charles demanded.
“Some little bastard just robbed me. He is not getting away with it.” Melanie hung up on him, stuffed her cell phone into her front pocket, and took off running after the man who had taken her purse. He was fast, but she was faster. She grabbed one of his thin arms and swung him around, causing him to fall as his momentum continued to pull him forward.