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“You married Tanner… for me. ” King said. There was no more anger. No judgment. If anything he sounded in awe of what I’d done. Gently reaching out to cup my face he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my lips. Where most of our kisses are full of heat and passion, this one was all tenderness and love. He pulled back slowly, looking me over as if he were searching for something.
“And for me. ” I reminded him. “I hate to break it to you, but I fell in love with her faster than I fell in love with you. ”
King laughed. “I love you. I’ve never said that to anyone but Max before. Since the day you turned up at my party, it’s been you. ” He kissed me again then rested his forehead on mine. “Only you. ” It was exactly what I’d needed to hear. Warmth spread in my chest and I felt my heart expand as the beautiful man in front of me worshiped me with his eyes.
“I never loved him, just so you know,” I said, offering King something I knew he wanted to hear. “I remember him, but it wasn’t that kind of love. Not for me, anyway. ”
“You loved him enough to let him fuck you. To have his kid,” King stated. There was no bitterness in his voice, and although it wasn’t a question, it seemed like he was waiting for an answer.
“Tanner was sick,” I said. “Dying. I thought what I felt for him was real love, but I know now it was just the kind of thing you feel for a close friend. He wasn’t going to get to experience graduation, or prom, or—you know, girls. It was my idea. ” I shook my head. “But, we made Sammy. So, as young and stupid as we were, as I was, I don’t regret it. I may not remember my son, but I feel him in here. ” I placed my hand over my heart.
King chuckled.
As great as it was to hear his laugh I felt myself getting angry again. “What exactly do you find funny about all this?” I snapped, sitting up and leering at him.
King reached out and dragged me back to him. “Because, Pup. I could feel my blood boiling when I thought you were about to describe fucking another guy. But instead my sweet girl tells me how she gave up her virgin pussy to her dying friend. ” King nuzzled his nose into my neck. “Sweetest pity-fuck ever,” he said, erupting in laughter. I grabbed a pillow and swung it at is head but he caught it and threw it to the floor, grabbing my hips and settling me on top of him.
“Now tell me where the fuck you were for a whole month. ” I demanded, feeling free to be pissed at him now that he was alive and well. I crossed my arms over my chest. He pulled my arms away from my body and moved his lips from my ear to my nipples, sending my head rolling backward. I pushed at his head until he fell back against the headboard with a thud.
“Shit with Eli, it’s over,” he said looking relieved. He rested his hands on my waist. “It wasn’t pretty, Pup. He found us first. Shit went down you don’t ever need to know about. Shit with Bear. ”
“What happened to Bear?” I asked, feeling panicked.
King squeezed my hips to grab my attention. “He’s alive. Healing. No permanent damage to his body, but after what he went through, I don’t expect him to be right in the head, not for a long while. A man can only take so much. Bear took that much and then some. Those fuckers tortured him. ” King’s jaw hardened and his fingers bit painfully into my sides.
My heart ached for Bear, and for King.
“But it’s over now. ” King said, cupping my cheek. “I can’t say there wasn’t a few minutes where I didn’t think I was going to get out of there alive, but I’m here now and I’m taking you home. ”
“What about Sammy?” I asked.
“I can talk to Tanner if you want,” King offered. “Explain to him we’ll be wanting a trade off with Sammy. However you want it. ”
He wanted me to bring Sammy home with us too.
I shook my head. “I think it’s better if I’m the one to talk to Tanner. I’ve screwed this all up. I’m the one who needs to fix it. ”
King nodded. “Good. I’ll be here tomorrow night with the van. Get your shit together. Get Sammy’s shit together. If Tanner won’t see reason, let me know. ”
King reached down to his jeans and pulled out a phone. “Here. This is yours. My number is the only one programmed in. Any problems, you call me. You want me here before tomorrow night? I’m here. ”
“As simple as that?” I asked, feeling like I’d just been given a second chance at life. And in a way I had. Because King was alive and I was still his.
“Nope. Not that simple. You tell him you want an annulment and you want that shit yesterday. He so much as squawks at it you tell him to come fucking see me. ” King pressed his lips to mine and inhaled deeply. “In this world, there is very little I believe in, Pup. But I believe we belong together. ”
“You don’t believe in God?” I asked.
“No, Pup. The only thing I have faith in, is you. ”
King slipped out sometime after I fell asleep in his arms. When the morning light flooded my room I rolled over to avoid its rays. When I finally opened my eyes I saw something on the nightstand that made my heart flutter and soar. My smile was nothing short of ridiculously huge. I loved it immediately. It was just like the one he’d left for Grace on her hallway table all those months ago.
On my nightstand on top of the phone that King had given me, was a tiny white ceramic rabbit.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Doe
The morning after King left I felt both elated and utterly miserable.
I had King back. He was alive and I was so grateful to whatever universal being was responsible for keeping him safe. But at the same time, I’d led Tanner on. Not just by the big fat obvious mistake of marrying him, but while he was on his quest to help me remember¸ occasionally I’d let him sit too close to me on the couch. I’d let him hold my hand.
It was my fault. Everything with Tanner had been my fault, and for the second time in several months I was going to hurt him all over again.
I had to go talk to him and I hoped he would somehow understand. I took a quick shower and threw on a pair of running shorts. I grabbed a soft cotton tank top from the drawer and pulled it on. I cried out when the fabric rubbed against my nipples, feeling much more like they’d been scraped with a cheese grater than covered in soft cotton.
Why the fuck would my nipples…
I sprinted over to the desk calendar and spent an embarrassing amount of time doing the math, but with my hands shaking and my head spinning, even the simplest of calculations didn’t compute.
I pushed the calculator away and pulled out a piece of paper. Maybe a word problem would help make it clearer.
Throwing up frequently
+
No period this month, or maybe even last month
+
Cheese grater nipples
+
Sex with King in the water by the boathouse
+
No protection of any kind
=
HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Doe
I found Tanner sitting on the roof of the houseboat. “You know, I’m beginning to think it was you who made the senator keep this rust bucket,” I said. “You’re always out here. ”
Tanner turned around. There was an obvious sadness in his eyes, but there was something else too. Something I couldn’t quite pin point. “Sammy wanted to come see you, but by the time he got here he was tired so Nadine offered to put him down for a nap. I figured you’d make your way out here sooner or later. ” Tanner sighed. “This place is probably my favorite place in the world, you know. The three of us spent all of our time out here when we were kids. ”
The only thing I could do for him was listen because over the past few months he’d done his share of listening to me.
“I want to apologize, about the party. It wasn’t right. I wasn’t right. ” He set his hands on top of his head and blew out a breath. “I shouldn’t have gone along with the senator and his speech, especially when I knew your heart wasn’t in it.
” He looked up to the sky and closed his eyes as if he were gathering his thoughts. He turned back to where I stood on the dock. “I just wanted it to be true. I got carried away. I’m sorry, Ray. ”
“You don’t have to apologize. I feel like we’re always apologizing to one another,” I said.
“Probably because we are. ” He hopped down from the roof onto the dock. He stood in front of me with his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. “I know why you’re here. ”
“You do?”
“You’re leaving,” Tanner said shifting his weight from one foot to the other.
“Yeah, I am,” I answered. “It’s never felt right for me here and the more I remember, the more I know the right decision is for me to go. ”
“He’s alive. You’re going back to him,” Tanner said. It wasn’t a question. It was a statement.
“How did you know?” I asked.
“I saw him last night. ”
I bit my lower lip. “Yes, I’m going back to him. ”
Tanner shook his head and rested his forehead on his palm. “I guess this changes everything. ”
“If I’ve learned anything over the last six months, it’s that family can mean so many different things. Just because we aren’t together, doesn’t mean we can’t be a family, Tanner. Family is what you make it, what you want it to be. ”