I was, however, still very leery about what lay ahead.
Ryder had asked me to come with him to the lawyers while he and DeLaria started the paperwork.
I’d commented they were moving really fast with things, and he’d grimly told me that DeLaria’s health had started to rapidly deteriorate. They didn’t want to leave anything to chance when it came to the security of little Natanael.
Ryder picked me up at the office. Since he’d asked if that was alright, I’d decided to ride the bus to work so we wouldn’t have to worry about getting my SUV back to my place.
As I approached the vehicle, I saw that he had DeLaria and Natanael with him. I hesitated at the curb, eying DeLaria where she sat in the back with the baby.
Ryder’s gaze rested on mine.
I couldn’t stand there forever, so I reached for the door handle of the empty front passenger seat. Warmth wrapped around me. I settled more comfortably into the heated seat and stripped my gloves off. I half-turned in the seat and smiled at Ryder, then not knowing what else to do, I looked back at DeLaria and greeted her.
“You must be DeLaria,” I said, smiling. “I’m Breanna. It’s nice to meet you.”
DeLaria was a beautiful woman and the warm smile she offered made her even more so. “It’s nice to meet you, Breanna,” she said, her accented English flawless.
“I figured it would just be easier for us all to go together,” Ryder said.
I shifted my attention back to him and saw the nerves in his eyes. Reaching out, I brushed my fingers down his sleeve. “It probably is.”
Most of the drive was spent in silence, save for occasional baby babble and DeLaria’s soft murmurs to Natanael.
Ryder’s hands gripped the steering wheel, his knuckles white with tension.
I wanted to say something to alleviate it, but I wasn’t sure just what the right words were.
I rested my left elbow on the console and turned my attention to the streets as we drove off.
Ryder’s warm fingers brushed the back of my hand as if searching for the last lifeline on Earth. I turned my hand over and laced my fingers with his, squeezing gently.
I sensed the tension draining away although I still wasn’t entirely sure of the source.
He must be nervous about me being around the baby, I decided. That, or introducing his current lover to the best friend of the woman he’d once planned to marry.
Yeah, I could see the awkwardness there.
I still wasn’t sure why he wanted me there, but I hadn’t been about to tell him no when he asked.
It might be foolish, but part of me hoped there was something growing between us. That maybe, like me, Ryder was starting to feel something beyond the physical.
Ryder dropped DeLaria, Natanael, and me off in front of the building before he went to park. I offered to carry something – she was lugging a diaper bag and the baby, but she just smiled at me. “I am used to it.”
I nodded and gestured toward the office building behind us. “Let’s go on in. I don’t want Natanael getting cold.”
“Of course.” DeLaria shivered a little in her big, puffy coat.
“You’re not used to cold like this, are you?”
She laughed. “Am I so obvious?”
“Well, Denver in the winter…it can be rough.” I shrugged as we reached the door. Opening it for her, I stood aside as she carried the little boy inside.
“There’s a sitting area over there.” I pointed the way. “We can wait for Ryder.”
Once we were sitting down, an awkward silence fell. DeLaria busied herself by unbuttoning Natanael’s little coat and stripping him out of it.
I studied the beautiful little boy, searching for some sign of Ryder in him.
I saw baby roundness, serious dark eyes, and lustrous dark hair.
As if he sensed me staring at him, the little boy swung his head around. His gaze locked with mine and he gave me a bright smile, a few pearly white teeth making an appearance.
“He’s a beautiful boy,” I said softly.
“He is. He looks a lot like his mama.” DeLaria hesitated, then continued. “She was very beautiful.”
“Ryder told me that you were her best friend.”
DeLaria nodded. “This has been…difficult for me,” she said slowly. “Nathalie made me promise to raise Natanael, but after I learned that I was sick…” She sighed and brushed her hair back. “My doctor assures me that I can still live a long, full life, but I don’t know. I’m tired…weak.” She shook her head. “It seems to be getting worse, and I can’t run the risk that Natanael ends up with nobody.”
“You did the right thing.”
She studied me. “It’s curious how you are dealing with this. You and Ryder are together.”
I looked away, not answering. I wasn’t sure just what Ryder and I were.
“Have you been together long?” DeLaria asked when I remained quiet.
I opened my mouth to respond, then closed it because I had absolutely no idea how to answer her. Realizing I needed to say something, I dropped my gaze to the hands I’d folded in my lap. “We’ve only been…together for a little while.”
I couldn’t even claim we were dating. The parameters of our relationship had been clearly defined – we shared each other’s bed. Exclusively, until one of us decided we were bored.
It wasn’t exactly the beginning of a beautiful love story.
“He must think you are very special if he has you here today,” DeLaria commented.
I frowned.
She cocked her head. “Why else would you be here but for us all to meet? For you to have a chance to get to know Natanael?” Her mouth curved upward, and she shook her head. “You are here because you matter to him.”
“I…” Uncertain how to proceed, I lapsed into silence.
“It’s obvious that you care for Ryder,” DeLaria said, her dark eyes resting calmly on mine.
“Yes.” I nodded, twisting a silver ring I wore on my right hand around and around. “He asked me to come, and I said yes. I…I want what’s best for him and Natanael.”
“Nathalie would have wanted the same,” she murmured.
Further conversation wasn’t possible, at least not on that topic. Ryder came striding in, and he sat down in the chair next to DeLaria. She encouraged him to take Natanael, and I watched with a lump in my throat as the little boy cuddled up against Ryder.
He tugged on a button on Ryder’s shirt then reached up to pat at his father’s face.
“I think I’ll go use the restroom,” DeLaria said. Her voice was husky.
As she walked away, I gave Ryder a brief glance, then smiled before getting up to go follow her.
She had already disappeared into a stall, so I took a few minutes to brush my hair and touch up my lipstick.
DeLaria hesitated when she saw me standing at the counter, then she smiled tentatively as she approached.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
She lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “Yes. I…well, for over the past year, I’ve been playing Natanael’s mama. I love him. Not just because he’s my best friend’s child, but I love him.”
I couldn’t imagine how uncertain she felt in that moment. Turning over the baby she’d been raising to a man who was a veritable stranger, dealing with the diagnosis she’d recently been given…it all had to suck. “You’ve had a rough time since she died.”
DeLaria gave me a tired smile. “I miss her. Every day. We were like sisters.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Thank you.” She moved to the sink and washed her hands. She took an inordinate amount of time to do so, but I imagined she needed to, just so she could compose her nerves.
By mutual, unspoken agreement, we left together.
Out in the brightly lit, large lobby, we paused at the sound of a baby’s giggles.
DeLaria’s lips curved upward, and mine soon followed as we located the source of the sweet sounds.
Ryder had carrie
d Natanael over to one of the columns. It was mirrored, and the two of them were staring at their reflections. I watched, my heart melting as Ryder made a face at the mirror and the baby broke into a fresh wave of giggles.
“He’s good with him,” DeLaria commented, her voice soft. She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’ve wondered.”
“He’ll be a good father,” I said. I knew I was right. Just watching how he played with the little boy in that moment, I could already see the evidence.
“Yes.” DeLaria nodded.
We continued to stay where we were, watching the two unobserved. Ryder was continuing to make funny faces for the baby, but Natanael was no longer looking at the reflection.
No, he had his big, dark eyes locked on his father’s face.
As Ryder puffed up his cheeks and wiggled his eyebrows at Natanael, the baby squealed. He patted Ryder’s cheeks with small hands and Ryder deflated his cheeks, making a raspberry noise as he did so.
That just delighted Natanael more, and once his giggles faded, he locked in on Ryder’s face, clearly expecting more entertainment.
Ryder wagged his eyebrows.
Natanael reached up to poke at one and narrowly missed Ryder’s eye.
“Ouch,” I said, wincing.
“Being a parent should come with hazard pay,” DeLaria noted.
I grinned as I glanced over at her.
She was still watching the baby and his father. A soft sigh escaped her, and she reached up to toy with a gold chain she wore around her neck.
“Nathalie had always wanted a big family. She told me once that Ryder had confessed to wanting the same thing.”
The unspoken sadness in DeLaria’s voice made my throat go tight, and I reached over to rest a hand on her shoulder.
She tensed, then slowly relaxed.
“You are right,” she said softly. “He is going to be an excellent father.”
20
Breanna
While we waited in the lobby of the lawyer’s office, Ryder turned to me. “I was thinking maybe you could wait out here with Natanael while we talk to the lawyer.” A smile crooked his lips as he glanced from me to DeLaria. “If that’s okay. Little guy won’t have much fun in there, and we both have questions to answer, and paperwork.”
DeLaria gave me a nervous look, but she nodded. “That would probably be wise.”
Ryder looked at me, and I offered a smile. “So, the truth comes out,” I teased him. “You just wanted me along for my babysitting services.”
He opened his mouth. For a moment, he looked like he wanted to say something, but in the end, he just shook his head and returned my smile.
“I don’t know how long this will take,” he said as DeLaria brought Natanael over to me.
I hadn’t so much as held him yet.
The baby looked up at me with big, wide eyes.
I offered a nervous grin.
He repaid me with that sweet smile that displayed his teeth.
I held out my hands, and he lurched forward so fast, I was amazed DeLaria caught him in time.
“He’s a flirt,” she said ruefully as I accepted Natanael. I had to juggle a bit, shifting my purse around, then taking the bag DeLaria offered.
“Would you like me to check his diaper before we go?” she asked.
“I can handle that.” I winked at her. “I babysat my way through much of high school.”
She nodded and backed up, her eyes lingering on Natanael.
Ryder approached, and I watched as he stroked a hand down his son’s downy, shiny black hair. He dipped his head to kiss Natanael’s cheek, then quickly dropped a kiss on mine as well.
He turned to go, then stopped and reached into his pocket.
“In case we end up in there for too long,” he said, holding out his keys.
I slid a look from him to DeLaria. She watched us solemnly but said nothing.
“I won’t need them,” I said. “We’ll be fine.”
“You should take them,” DeLaria replied, moving to stand by Ryder. “Sometimes, Natanael gets grumpy when it’s close to nap time. If he gets too fussy, you can put him in his car seat. One trip around the block and he’ll be asleep.”
Reluctantly, I accepted the keys. “Where are you parked?”
He told me, and I committed the location to memory, even as I told myself I didn’t plan on going anywhere.
There’s a saying about best-laid plans.
I mentally cursed as I bounced a distraught, tired little boy on my hip. We weren’t the only ones in the waiting room anymore, and I could tell his cries were aggravating the others.
Finally, I pulled out my phone and sent Ryder a quick message.
Okay. I’m taking him for a quick drive.
Ryder’s response popped up just as I was shoving the phone into my purse. I quickly read it, then stowed the phone.
“It looks like your daddy and DeLaria are going to be a little while,” I said to Natanael.
He briefly paused his fussing, and I dropped a quick kiss on his forehead, then placed him in his coat. He fought me the entire time, and I could feel myself getting more frazzled.
Once I had him buttoned up, I quickly pulled my own coat on, then swept him up, along with my purse and the diaper bag. I didn’t manage it quite as gracefully as DeLaria had, but she’d also had a year’s worth of practice.
Natanael had quieted some while I walked, but the moment I stopped at the elevator, he started fussing again. I bounced him and murmured to him, but it didn’t do much good.
Once we were off the elevator and I was able to walk, he calmed again.
“You’re a demanding little guy, aren’t you?” I asked him softly.
Maybe I could just walk him around until he fell asleep.
We ducked out onto the street, and a blast of cold made me rethink that plan.
I looked around for the parking garage and spotted it just across the street. As I headed down the sidewalk, I caught sight of a dark-haired man leaning against the building. He was watching me, eyes dark against his olive skin. I gave him a quick smile, then focused on the sidewalk ahead of me.
I stopped at the traffic light and pushed the button, so we could cross. Natanael whimpered again, and I swung my head back around to talk to him as we waited.
From the corner of my eye, I saw him – the man who’d been waiting outside the office building. He’d walked half a block down the street and was now just ten feet from the traffic light.
His gaze moved from the baby to me, then back.
I cleared my throat and looked away.
Nerves jittered inside me as I hurriedly crossed the street. I shot a look at the window of a nearby truck and caught sight of the man’s reflection.
Was he following me?
Panic made my heart skip a beat.
I moved quicker, riffling through my pocket for the keys to Ryder’s SUV. He’d told me he was parked on the second level, near the elevator bay in the front.
I debated on just walking down to the next corner, crossing the street and going back into the office building, but I told my paranoia to calm down.
Surely that man wasn’t following us.
I was just…jumpy for some reason.
It wasn’t like I’d been getting a lot of sleep lately.
I made it to the garage and darted a look over my shoulder as I slid inside. I didn’t see him now.
Relaxing a little, I moved over to the elevator bay and jabbed the up button. The doors opened immediately, and I stepped inside.
They were sliding closed as I heard the outer doors open, but I didn’t see anybody come in.
A yawn cracked Natanael’s mouth wide open as I circled around the SUV and opened the back door where his carrier was.
It took some finessing with the straps to figure out how to get him in, and he was crying softly by the time I finished.
“It’s okay,” I assured him in a sing-song voice. “You need a bigger seat, don’t you? A big boy
seat. But don’t worry. You’ll be asleep in no time.”
I shut the door and slid behind the wheel. As I did so, the door to the stairwell opened.
My heart stuttered a few beats as the man standing in the doorway skimmed a look around.
I’d just started the car when his gaze landed on me.
Tearing mine from his, I started the car and pulled out of the parking space.
Telling myself that there was nothing wrong, I headed out of the garage.
Natanael fell asleep.
I couldn’t see him with his car seat facing around back the way it was, but his cries faded away into snuffles, then eventually silenced altogether.
It took all of ten minutes driving to do it.
“I hope you don’t always require this much to get you to nap,” I said to the sleeping child as I swung the car around the upcoming right.
I had no idea how much time I should kill or where I should go.
I ended up parking in an open street spot across from a small city park. Opening the back door, I peered in at Natanael. His small face was lax with sleep.
I spied a blanket and picked it up, draping it over his legs and tucking it in. That done, I set about trying to figure out how to unhook the seat from the base.
“We’re just going to go sit by the fountain,” I told the sleeping boy.
The fountain had been shut off for the winter, and most of the landscaping had gone brown, but it was still a peaceful spot, sheltered from the wind by the tall buildings surrounding us.
Sitting the baby down on a concrete ledge, I leaned up against it and crossed my legs.
My belly rumbled.
I gave the baby a rueful smile. “If you were just a little bit older, we’d find a McDonald’s, and I could get me some fries and you a happy meal.”
Natanael just slept on.
The heat from the sun made the chill in the air less sharp, and I breathed in a deep, slow breath.
Natanael snuffled.
I reached out to touch his cheek, checking to make sure he wasn’t getting too cold. The soft, downy skin of his cheek was warm under my cool fingertips. He made a sleepy little baby sound and stretched as far as he could with the straps of the seat holding him in place.