“Good,” he said, his eyes turning back to the TV. “You girls should go together.”
Eva held back her laughter, thinking of Brenda at college, with all the boys around for her choosing. Brenda will be in heaven then.
Her baby kicked suddenly and she started at the assault on her belly, still not used to the fact that she had another human being in her.
“And it would give you some space.”
“From what?” Eva asked, shifting in the chair to get comfortable.
Her father looked over, a frown marring his features. “From him.”
Eva sighed. There was no question that her father did not like the love of her life. When she had tried to introduce him to her father, he had told them both that they were not going to date and walked away, leaving Eva in shock. She had to admit that he was not what her father probably had envisioned and that his lifestyle was what his father, such a normal man, would call extravagant, exotic, execrating. Eva in turn thought it was exciting and extraordinary. The religious sect he worked in had a program of spiritual evolution based on mental concentration and the search for self-knowledge which should lead to a healthier and more harmonic life.
Claiming roots as far back as the tenth century, it had lain dormant, reappearing in the fifties, inspired by visions of a Brazilian Shaman who lived in the Brazilian Amazon Forest from where it spread worldwide.
As soon as they were married, they would live in a free community, where spiritual guidance would keep them all in peace, loving each other.
Her father told her she was mad and had kicked her secret fiancé out of their house, threatening to denounce him to the police, if he approached Eva again. Her lover had laughed and said the old man could go to the police as much as he wanted, since it was perfectly legal what he did and it was her father who would be prosecuted for prejudice against a recognized faith. Her father’s eyes had gone cold, his posture even more rigid than normal, as if a rod had been thrust into his spine. Without a word, he had pointed Eva to her room.
But wouldn’t he be glad now that they were in love and expecting his first grandchild? “I’m going to see him, Dad. I’ve already told you that you can’t stop me.”
Her father sat up so fast that he nearly knocked the chair back onto the floor. “And I reminded you that you live under my roof and I make the rules. Do not tell me you have been seeing him behind my back, Eva May.”
Her father looked murderous, his face tight with anger and Eva weighed her options. She could just blurt it out now and hope for the best. After all, he was already upset.
“Never mind,” he said a moment later, gulping the rest of his whisky down. “I can see it written all over your face. I know you’re eighteen, but he is not good enough for you, Eva. Trust me on this.”
“Will anyone be good enough, Dad?” she asked sarcastically.
Her father clenched his fists together tightly, his eyes boring holes into hers. “Do not get yourself involved with him. He’s a bad seed and he’s only going to ruin your life, Eva.”
“He is not!” Eva said firmly, standing. “I wish you would let me live my life as I see fit! He’s good, I swear it.”
Her father snorted. “Then you have poor taste in men. I thought I raised you better. I’ll never admit him here. You can considered yourself warned.”
Tears blinding her eyes, Eva pushed past her father and stormed out of the house, not caring that the back door banged against the doorframe as she walked outside. Her father was wrong. He wasn’t a bad seed. He loved her. She could feel it in her bones and in her heart.
Her love for him and their baby was…just psychedelic. The adjective didn’t even begin to describe what it all encompassed, but it was the most appropriate adjective she could think of.
Her father would just have to accept the fact that she was going to marry him.
Chapter 3
Tuesday, November 1, 1988
1:00 a.m.
A moment later, Eva May showed herself in, pausing at the doorway as she searched the room for him.
She ran to his opened arms and they kissed. “How did it go?”
“Oh, things have just gone from bad to worse,” she said. “He has forbidden me to see you.”
“You must disregard what your father says about me.” And as if she had agreed with what he’d said, he went on, “He has some preconceived ideas about me.”
“Why?”
She felt him shrug.
“He’s an old man with old ideas.” He held her off and turned her chin up to look into her eyes. “You don’t see me that way, do you?”
“No,” she answered simply. “I know you’re an honest, lovable man, with good and pure intentions, who people don’t understand.”
He tucked her back into his arms and rocked her gently, satisfied with her answer.
“The only thing that matters to me is how I feel,” she replied, her voice trembling.
“And how do you feel?” he asked quietly.
“Now?”
He nodded.
“Happy. In love with you.”
“Everything is going to work out well. Don’t worry. All I want you to do is to feel,” he murmured, pulling her against him, running his hands down her back and pushing her against him, letting her know how aroused he was. His readiness was all too apparent through the thin barrier of their clothes. He was primed by the possibility of having her for himself. “How do you feel now, princess?”
Her soft moan was his answer and he smiled when she closed her eyes, trusting him implicitly. Yes, she would be a good wife, especially because she came with loads of money.
When he lowered his head to kiss her throat, she threw her head back, exposing the tender flesh to his mouth.
She felt the moist heat of his tongue trace her collarbone. His hands came up to open her jacket, lift her shirt, and push down her bra. He held her steady as he explored lower, licking the valley between her breasts and biting her sensitive nipples.
“Oh, Lord.” She felt her control going, chasing after his.
He groaned deeply, pushing her skirt up, and sought her mouth again wildly, promising and demanding more—seducing.
It was not long before he was ravaging her, pushing her against the wall.
He kissed her fiercely like there was not a care in the world—as if her whole family wasn’t sleeping in the house nearby, as if her father hadn’t forbidden her from seeing him.
Eva May knew she couldn’t care less when his hand stole up her leg and he trailed his finger to the junction of her thigh and went inside her.
She moved against his hand while she opened his trousers and freed his erection.
He lifted her against the wall, and she wrapped her legs around him.
She was wet and hot and it was only for this man that adored her. He slid inside her in a quick, hard thrust.
The pleasure of being invaded in that way was so intense that it almost hurt and she cried out.
“Oh, fuck, Eva May, I love you.” He pounded into her, hard at first, and then even harder. She came around him, tightening in waves of pulsating heat.
And she felt it as he spilled himself inside her, grunting in his release.
All she had to do was convince her father to let her have her inheritance.
The wind blew through the barn cracks and Eva shivered.
“We’d better go in before your father comes out to see what’s taking you so long,” he said.
She straightened reluctantly, not eager to lose the enchantment of his embrace.
He helped her adjust her clothes and accompanied her to the barn door. “Will I see you tomorrow?”
“Sure. I’ll be here at the same time tomorrow.”
Chapter 4
3:00 a.m.
Brenda was still awake when Eva May tiptoed inside her room. “Quick, quick. Your father checked if you were sleeping about one hour ago.”
They had put pillows under the coverlet, and a doll with long bl
onde hair spread over the sheets made their disguise perfect for anyone looking from the door inside the dark bedroom.
“So, how did it go?” she whispered.
“We talked a bit.”
“Is he going to confront your father?”
“I don’t think it’s the best approach. You know how Father is.”
“So what are you going to do?”
Eva pressed her lips together. Some secrets were too precious to speak, even to Brenda. She was going to sit with her father once more and tell him about her pregnancy this time. He had to give her her share of her mother’s heirdom. It was her right after all.
And if he wasn’t understanding and welcoming to her marriage—if her own father expelled her from his house as he’d been threatening to do—they already had a plan: they would simply elope, and with her fortune, they would live happily ever after.
It wasn’t the greatest of plans, of course. She had always dreamed of a large wedding right here on the farm, with Brenda as her maid of honor and everyone smiling and clapping as she wed the love of her life. Then they would go on a lovely honeymoon to some tropical location where she would lay on the sand with her husband and just live.
The baby kicked again, bringing her crashing back to reality. There was not going to be a fancy wedding or her family being happy about her wedding. There would be no exciting honeymoon, no beautiful sunsets, or walking hand in hand along a beach. No, but she was looking forward to eloping with him and hoping that her father could forgive her for this transgression.
Actually, it wasn’t a transgression since it was either that, or being expelled.
She’d rather take the bull—or her future—by the horns.
After all, it was her future. And she would make it work.
Chapter 5
Friday, November 4, 1988
1:00 a.m.
Eva pressed her face against his shirt, breathing in the scent of his cologne. Her heart was heavy, her eyes scratchy from the tears she had shed on the drive over. She had finally decided to tell her father about the pregnancy and he had taken it as well as she had anticipated given their recent fighting.
But she had never seen him so upset, not even when her mother had died. He had told her in no uncertain terms that she was ruining her life being with him and that she needed to look into termination or putting the baby up for adoption so that she could still have ‘a normal life’. He even told her she should look into another place to live, because he would not accept her in his house anymore, if she decided to marry and keep the child.
Eva had never screamed at her father before, but that time she couldn’t contain her feelings. Her screams had caused more than one person, including Brenda, to see what all the commotion was about and Eva had stormed out, running to the only stable thing in her life right now.
“Shhh,” he was saying, rubbing circles into her back lightly. “It’s going to be okay, I swear it. Your old man will realize he’s wrong about all of it once we’re married.”
Eva wiped her nose on her sleeve and stepped back. Looking into his trusting eyes. “Are you sure? I’ve never seen him so mad before.”
He gave her a tender smile, pressing a kiss against her forehead. “Of course I’m sure. You are all he has now and though he’s mad at the moment, it won’t last for long. Trust me, he won’t want to drive away his daughter.”
He then grabbed her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. “I love you. We are going to be happy together, you just wait.”
Eva nodded and fell into his arms once more, feeling safe and secure. She had finally decided to move forward with the elopement. Not that she had any chance really since her father was so irreducible from his denying on accepting they would be together.
But once they were married, it would be fait-accomply and her father would have no choice but to accept his new son-in-law and grandchild.
Either that or she would be gone forever.
But, Eva didn’t like the fact that her father—probably her entire family—was against this marriage. What if they don’t accept it? Can I live with the fact that I have driven a wedge between them?
“Have you gotten your dress yet?”
Eva sighed and rubbed her cheek against his shirt. “I picked it up yesterday.”
“Good,” he said, his voice rumbling against her cheek. “Focus on that then, Eva. Focus on the wedding that we are going to have in Ireland.”
She closed her eyes, allowing herself to drift away from the hurt that was in her chest. He was right. They were going to have a wonderful, lovely wedding in Ireland, just the two of them.
So why did she not feel elated?
Thursday, December 15, 1988
7:00 p.m.
“Are you sure you want to do this Eva? You can back out, you know.”
Eva placed the last article of clothing in her bag and zipped it closed, looking around at the room she had shared with Brenda for as long as she could remember. There was the cork board filled with useless things, concert ticket stubs, and silly pictures that they had taken together over the years.
There was the closet still full of their clothing, as they had given up on trying to separate them a long time ago.
Most of all, there were the memories; memories that she could not replace with anything.
“Oh, don’t cry!” Brenda exclaimed, patting her back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to question you. I won’t say anything else.”
“It’s not you.” Eva sniffed, wiping her eyes. She truly was about to leave everything she had known, everything safe to strike out on her own with him and their child. It was the right thing to do—or at least that was what she kept telling herself.
Picking up her bag, Eva slung it over her shoulder and gave Brenda a watery smile. “Well, I guess I’m off.”
Brenda climbed off the bed and wrapped her arms around her cousin. “I hope that it’s everything you dream it is. Really, Eva May. I just want you to be happy.”
“Thanks, cousin.” Eva sniffed again, hugging Brenda tightly. “I’ll call you when it’s all done. I want this baby to know her aunt.”
“But I won’t be an aunt…” Releasing Eva, Brenda sniffed, too.
Eva shook her head. “You were always like a sister to me.”
Brenda’s eyes clouded with tears once more but Eva was already walking out of the room, attempting to hold it together for just a little longer. It wasn’t just the pregnancy causing her to be so emotional.
Walking down the stairs, Eva paused at the bottom, looking at the entrance to the den, where she knew her father was sitting, watching his TV show and drinking his whisky. She really wanted to see him one last time, to not leave with such strife between them, but she was afraid that he might catch wind of what she was about to do and try to stop her.
That she couldn’t let happen.
“I love you, Daddy,” she whispered, hurrying past the den and out the door before she could change her mind.
Hopefully he would understand. Hopefully he would be able to forgive her.
Climbing into the car, Eva backed out of the driveway and headed down the dirt road to the main highway, pointing it toward his place. She would stay there until they made their way to Ireland, where her new life would begin.
But it didn’t mean that she wasn’t leaving a piece of her heart behind.
Chapter 6
Ireland
Saturday, December 17, 1988
11:00 a.m.
Eva watched as the next couple stepped up before the registrar, giving him their names so that he could write them down in his big black book and insert them into the generic ceremony that was about to take place.
After a horrible trip, where she was nauseous most of the day, they had arrived at the register where their wedding was to take place.
It wasn’t exactly what she had envisioned.
The room was old, the stained glass windows casting a colorful pattern on the wooden floors, the smell of cigarette sm
oke heavy in the air. While the surroundings were not awful, it was the thought that neither Eva’s family nor her friends were here to witness the event. Eva had always pictured her wedding with her in a beautiful gown and her father walking her down the aisle to the man that was to love her forever.
Instead she was stuck in a white long-sleeved gown that was the only one big enough to fit her baby bump, the material itchy against her hyper-sensitive skin, and no family in sight.
Not only that, they were being herded to the registrar desk like cattle. They were couple number twenty-one.
Nothing about this day was special; nothing at all.
And she was not even getting a religious wedding. Well, she was, but not in a traditional ceremony, or in a traditional chapel, or anything similar.
Willing the tears away, Eva leaned over to him. “I—I don’t want to do this today.”
He looked over at her, his eyes lit with surprise—and something more Eva could not understand. “What?”
She bit her lip. “I don’t want us to get married like this.” She wanted to make it right with her father, make this entire pregnancy something to be celebrated. “Can’t we just hold off a few more months until my father gets used to the idea?”
He frowned and pointed at her protruding belly. “You don’t have a few months, Eva.”
He was right. She didn’t, but no one said they couldn’t have a wedding after the baby was born. Wrapping her arm around his, she laid her head on his shoulder. “I just—this doesn’t feel right.”
He moved away from her instead of comforting her and she could tell that he was upset. “What do you mean this doesn’t feel right? We planned this, remember?”
Eva swallowed. She had never seen him mad before, not at her at least. “I-I mean, I just think we should wait, that’s all. What’s the hurry?” Maybe if they did wait, she could get her father to warm up to the idea and everyone would be happy again.