“What’s that?” she asked, pointing to his neck, where the cloak was once more in place. “Some kind of tattoo? When did you get it?”
“It’s nothing.” He frowned, looking uncomfortable. “I just wanted to be certain everything was well before I returned to the Mother Ship.”
“Oh…you’re leaving?” Elaina couldn’t help feeling non-plussed. After everything they’d been though together and the way he’d said that he loved her he was just going to go? “Will I see you again soon?” she asked. Maybe he was just going for some kind of a debriefing and planning to come back to Earth later. But his answer, dashed her hopes.
“No.” He shook his head. “Almost certainly not.”
“Oh.” Elaina felt completely deflated. “I, um…guess you’re going to be pretty busy, huh?”
“You could say that,” he said grimly. “At any rate, if everything is well here, I have nothing left to do on Earth except…” He cleared his throat. “Except to tell you how sorry I am for…for what transpired during that mockery of a trial Krumf put us through.”
“What?” At first Elaina couldn’t think what he was talking about. But when Terex raised his eyebrows meaningfully and looked down at her thigh, she understood. “Oh, you mean the, uh, brand?” To be honest, she’d almost forgotten about it. Though it certainly hurt much more than it had when she’d been infected with the Need, it still didn’t sting as much as she would have thought it might.
“Yes,” he said shortly. “I should never have let myself be forced into such an action. What I did to you was…inexcusable. I hope someday you can forgive me and that you’ll remember me without acrimony.”
“Terex, please don’t think—” she began but he was already backing away from her.
“I must go. I need to get back to the Mother Ship.”
“Um…all right.” Elaina felt like her heart was breaking but she didn’t know what to do about it.
He changed his mind, she thought as he turned the corner and walked swiftly away. He doesn’t want me after all.
“Good-bye,” she murmured, blinking back tears. At one point in their adventure among the Nixians, she’d thought that she and the big Kindred might actually have some kind of relationship once everything was over. But apparently Terex didn’t feel that way. Maybe he’d changed his mind about loving her. Or maybe—
“Elaina? Hey, Sis—get in here.”
At the sound of her sister’s voice, she went quickly into the hospital room to find Gina looking at her alertly.
“Gina? Are you feeling okay?” She looked at her sister anxiously.
“I’m fine.” Gina put a hand on her hip and frowned. “But you’re going to kick yourself from now until next Tuesday if you don’t go after that fine hunk of Kindred manhood right now and either stop him or make him take you with him.”
“What?” Elaina was startled to see the sharp, knowing look back in her little sister’s eyes.
Gina had always been more attuned to matters of the heart than she had. She’d forgotten that while her little sister was so sick but now she remembered. It was Gina who had advised her to break up with her ex when she complained of wanting more in the bedroom. Gina who had given her the strength to go through a divorce instead of settling for second best.
“I said, why are you hanging around here?” Gina demanded. “I saw the way you look at that big Kindred guy—you love him, don’t you? You feel about him like you never did about Miles.”
“I do love him,” Elaina admitted and felt her heart swell. Somehow saying it out loud to another person for the first time galvanized her. “I love him so much it hurts,” she admitted to her little sister. “But…I don’t think he feels the same way.”
“If he doesn’t he’s a fool. But you won’t know unless you ask him,” Gina pointed out.
“What? I can’t just run up to him and demand that he tells me how he feels about me!”
“Why not?” Gina said bluntly. “What’s the worst that could happen—he could turn you down, right? So then you’d be in the same position you are now.”
“Gina…” Elaina paused for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts. “I can’t believe you’re already well enough to meddle in my love life,” she said at last, smiling a little. “Same old Gina.”
“Yeah, I’m back.” Her little sister gave her the snarky, unrepentant smile Elaina remembered from the days before the cancer. “Look—I’ve got the two loves of my life right here.” She motioned at Jake and Gary who were talking in the corner, possibly making up after months of misunderstandings and grief. “It’s time you went and got yours,” she told Elaina.
“Gina, I can’t just—”
“Yes, you can. Go after him before it’s too late. Either keep him here or make him take you with him back up to the Kindred Mother Ship. Make up an excuse if you have to. But don’t just let him walk out of your life for good!”
“You know what? You’re right.” Elaina lifted her chin. “I’m not just going to let him walk away. He told me he loved me while we were, uh…” She blushed deeply. “While we were getting your medicine.” She looked anxiously at her little sister. “But you’re sure you feel well enough for me to leave you?”
“I haven’t felt this good in months,” Gina assured her. “Whatever that flower thing you gave me was, it’s a miracle cure. I feel amazing. Now, go!”
“All right. I’ll check on you later, I promise.” Elaina gave her little sister a swift peck on the cheek and straightened up. Gina was right—she couldn’t just let Terex walk out of her life for good without putting up a fight. Squaring her shoulders, she hurried out of the hospital room—she was going to find him, damn it, and make sure he knew how she felt about him, even if he didn’t feel the same way for her.
Chapter Twenty-eight
Despite her determination, Elaina nearly missed him. Terex was climbing into his ship, which had taken the form of a sleek, silver car while on Earth, and was about to shut the door when she rushed up to him, panting.
“Terex!” she gasped as she tapped him on the shoulder. “Terex, wait.”
He turned and for a moment she saw a flash of pure longing and sorrow in his deep blue eyes. But the next moment, the expression was smoothed away so completely she wondered if she’d imagined it.
“Yes?” he asked with icy politeness. “Did you forget something?”
For a moment, Elaina quailed. He doesn’t want you, whispered the voice of self-doubt in her head. You’re just bothering him—making this more awkward than it has to be!
Then she remembered the desperate look in his eyes as the guards dragged him out of the room after he’d branded her. Remembered the way he’d cried out that he loved her.
“Yes,” she said, lifting her chin. “I forgot this.”
Throwing her arms around his neck, she threaded her fingers into his hair and dragged him down for an urgent, no-holds-barred kiss.
Terex stiffened at first, his entire muscular body turning to iron against hers. Then he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back, so desperately Elaina could barely breathe. Not that she wanted to—all she wanted was him.
Her body was suddenly on fire and the brand on her inner thigh throbbed with pleasure again instead of pain. She could feel the long, sharp points of his fangs and she longed to feel them driving into her once more, biting her as he had at the Baths… filling her with his essence…marking her as his own…
Suddenly Terex ended the kiss abruptly, pulling away from her.
“No!” He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. “No, I can’t do this. It isn’t right.”
“Why not? It feels right to me,” Elaina said boldly. “In fact, it feels more than right. What feels wrong is letting you walk out of my life forever without any explanation when we clearly have feelings for each other.”
“I don’t—” Terex started to say, then shook his head. “No, I will not lie in my final hours,” he said in a low voice. He looked her in the ey
es. “I do have feelings for you, Elaina. I care for you even though I don’t deserve to. But it doesn’t matter—even if I deserved you, I couldn’t have you. Not now.”
“What? What does that mean?” Elaina shook her head, feeling frustrated.
He rubbed the back of his neck. “It is…difficult to explain.”
“Try me,” Elaina said earnestly. “Come on, Terex…Sariv,” she said softly, using his first name. “Tell me. After everything we’ve been through together, I deserve to know.”
“You’re right—you do deserve an explanation.” The big Kindred sighed deeply. “All right—come with me up to the Mother Ship and I’ll explain on the way. But be aware that you’ll have to find another way back down to Earth. I won’t be able to take you—I’ll soon be in no shape to fly.”
With that rather cryptic remark, he boarded the ship and held out a hand to her. Elaina climbed in after him, wondering what in the world was going on but determined to find out one way or another. At least she knew now that Terex really did care about her—that he wanted her the way she wanted him, although he thought for some reason they couldn’t be together.
I’ll change his mind, she told herself. I’ll make him see we’re right for each other no matter what he thinks is standing in the way.
Feeling determined, she buckled her safety harness and watched the hospital parking lot fall away behind them as the ship reconfigured itself for flight and launched upwards into the sky.
* * * * *
“…so you see,” Terex said, staring straight ahead as they approached the Mother Ship, its vast, white, curving side growing huge in the viewscreen. “We cannot be together because I do not…” He cleared his throat. “Do not have much time left to be with anyone.”
“I don’t believe it,” Elaina said flatly. They were almost the first words she’d spoken since he had started his halting, wooden explanation of what had transpired during his encounter with Two’s massive scion in the growing room of the little healers. She spoke them with a conviction that startled him.
“You don’t believe what?” Terex had been looking straight ahead, concentrating on his piloting because it was easier than facing her when he told her the bad news. Now he looked right at her, sitting there with her arms crossed over her breasts and a skeptical frown on her face. “You don’t believe I was wounded with a kusax? Didn’t you see the wound yourself?”
He pulled the high collar of the cloak he still wore aside, exposing the curving green lines which had grown and spread to the entire side of his neck by now.
“I don’t believe that’s going to kill you,” Elaina clarified. “I can’t believe a few green curlicues spells instant doom—especially not when we still have some of the little healers left.” She gestured to the pile of slightly wilted blossoms which Terex had carefully set aside for her sibling.
“I told you—they aren’t effective against soul-poisoning,” Terex growled. “Two tried them—it was one of the reasons he followed us, because he heard of the prophesy of the ‘little healer that never fails’ through one of his spies. But it didn’t work for him.”
“So you’re just going to assume it won’t work for you either?” Elaina demanded. “The flowers are right here. I mean, I just watched these things cure terminal cancer. The least you can do is try one!”
“I did try one—all right? It didn’t help—didn’t do a damn bit of good.” Terex’s voice came out in a frustrated roar and he saw her flinch. But then she lifted her chin.
“So try another one.”
“If it will make you happy.” Reaching down, Terex plucked one of the silvery white blossoms and popped it in his mouth. It tasted slightly sweet with a minty aftertaste and it left a cool sensation on his tongue and throat as he swallowed. “Look,” he said, yanking down the collar of the cloak so she could see the side of his neck clearly. “Do you see any change? Any sign of healing, no matter how small?”
Elaina leaned over, so close he could feel her breath brushing softly against his exposed flesh. The sensation sent a helpless shiver through his entire body but he ignored it as he waited for her answer.
“No,” she said at last in a small, frustrated voice. “No, it…it looks about the same.”
“See?” With a sigh, he let the collar fall back into place.
“Well, maybe it’s not concentrated enough.” Elaina sounded unwilling to give up the idea. “Maybe if you made some kind of, I don’t know, some kind of distilled drink from the blossoms.”
“Like Krumf did?” Terex asked dryly. “Yes, Two’s scion speculated that might work. But it would have taken all the blossoms in the growing room—an unworkable solution.”
“Because you used them to heal the Nixian women of the Need.” There was a catch in Elaina’s voice. “And saved some for me for my sister, too. Oh, Terex—if only I would have known!”
“Would you have had me do something differently?” he asked, his voice coming out harsher than he intended. “Would you have me use all their healing properties for myself and leave none for anyone else? What kind of male would that make me? How would I be any different than Krumf?”
“I know…I know that’s true.” There were tears in her eyes now, which she brushed away angrily. “It’s just…so unfair! You’re such an amazing, selfless, wonderful guy and you’ve had so many bad things happen to you. I just…don’t understand it.”
“It is the will of the Goddess,” Terex said stoically. “We must accept it.”
“Well, I don’t accept it!” she flared. “I want a second opinion! I want you to turn around and go back to the hospital. Or wait—isn’t Commander Sylvan a doctor?
“He is,” Terex acknowledged through clenched teeth. “But he will tell you the same thing I have been telling you—that a wound from a kusax means certain death.”
“Let him tell me then,” Elaina begged. “I need to see him examine you. I need to know everything possible has been tried. Please, Terex—don’t just leave me and go…go off on your own to…to die.” Her voice broke on the last word and she looked like she was fighting back tears.
Terex felt as though she had his heart in her soft little hand and was squeezing it. Gods, to find out that she cared for him now, where there was no hope for them…it was almost more than he could stand.
“All right,” he said, his voice coming out harsh and strained. “I’ll call Commander Sylvan and ask him to meet us when we land.”
“Thank you.” Elaina reached for his hand and squeezed it gently. Again, Terex felt his heart throb. How much more difficult was it going to be for her when she heard from Sylvan there was no hope? But she was right—he owed it to her to let her hear the news from a medical professional.
At least then when I’m gone she won’t have regrets and wonder if there was something else she could have tried.
But there was no known cure for soul poisoning and if even the little healer had failed, what hope did he have?
None. Of that, Terex was certain.
Chapter Twenty-nine
“I’m sorry.” Sylvan shook his head with obvious regret. “But this is soul poisoning all right. And I’m afraid there is no known cure. Although…” He frowned, studying the side of Terex’s neck where the bright green, curving pattern appeared. “If the timeline you’re giving me is correct, it doesn’t appear to be progressing nearly as quickly as I would expect it to.”
“Maybe the little healers had something to do with that,” Elaina nodded at the limp bundle of flowers she’d brought with them into Sylvan’s exam room at the med center. “Maybe they’re slowing it down.”
“They may be if they are as powerful as you say,” Sylvan said gently. “But I’m afraid slowing a disease and curing it are two different things.”
“So that’s it?” Elaina demanded. “You’re just going to write Terex off? You’re not even going to try to help him?”
“Sylvan is doing all he can,” Terex growled.
Commander Sylvan shook hi
s head.
“I’m sorry, Elaina—I know it’s difficult for you to hear but there is no cure for soul poisoning. In fact, only one person I have ever treated has survived it.”
“Who was that? How did they survive?” Elaina demanded.
“It was Kat—the mate of my second brothers, Deep and Lock,” Sylvan said reluctantly. “But what happened in her case was nothing short of divine intervention.”
“I’ll take a chance on whatever I can get,” Elaina said boldly. “Where is this Kat? Can I talk to her?”
“I believe she’s having lunch with my mate and her sister—Sophia and Olivia,” Sylvan said. “I can give you the directions to my suite but I really don’t think—”
“Don’t think, then—just tell me,” Elaina demanded. “We don’t have much time—we need to fight this thing.”
“All right.” Sylvan pulled a small pad from his pocket and scribbled a set of directions on it. Elaina reached for it but he held it back. “I’d like to examine you too, Elaina. From what Terex says, you also had a terminal disease acquired while on the Nixian world the two of you visited.”
“Yes, but I’m all better now. The little healer fixed me right up,” Elaina said impatiently.
Terex took out a small scanner and waved it over her, frowning.
“But your vitals are still just a hair off,” he said, consulting the instrument. “Not enough to be life threatening but they do suggest that the disease process and maybe the healing you experienced changed something in you permanently. What, I don’t know.”
“I’m not the problem right now—he is.” Elaina poked a thumb at Terex who was sitting mutely on the exam table. “We need to get Terex healed before it’s too late.”
“It’s already too late.” The big Kindred sighed and shifted. “I’m sorry, Elaina, but there’s no cure.”
“There could be!” she insisted. “Come with me to Commander Sylvan’s place so we can talk to this Kat person and find out what worked for her.”