Chapter 16
Beth’s mind and heart felt split in two. How else to describe her desire to say yes and her need to say no? “I can’t marry you.”
He chuckled before saying, “Yes, you can.”
His amusement annoyed her. She stepped back, intending to press home her seriousness. “No, I can’t and won’t. Accepting your proposal is not an option.”
“The hell it isn’t!” He took a step closer to her, keeping his voice low and insistent. “Your marrying me is more than an option, it’s a necessity.”
If this had been Daggart who argued with her in such a stern manner, Beth would have been terrified of being hit. Instead, she smiled at him, glad to have him as a friend. “I don’t see how.”
Nicholas frowned at first before returning her smile. “Because I love you, and I think you love me.”
Her insides squirmed like tadpoles in a jar because he’d said the words. She had to be honest with him. “Yes, that’s true, but love isn’t enough in this case.”
His jaw dropped a little before he recovered to say, “Beth, there’s nothing else. We make a good team in a lot of ways.” Nicholas crossed his arms. “Bartlett’s not an issue, or won’t be once I’m done with him, and marrying you is the practical thing to do.”
“Practical?” Beth narrowed her eyes at him, wondering why the love talk was over.
“Of course. We’ve been out here long enough. People will suspect what’s happened, and it did, so I might as well make an honest woman of you and marry.”
“What about Sally?” She saw the flash of pain cross his face and knew the answer. Sally held his heart. Beth never would.
“She…is gone. I’ve mourned her for a long time and always will.” He shrugged, “But that doesn’t mean I can’t or don’t love you.”
Beth crossed her arms for warmth in the cooling air. Considering how easily he claimed to care for her, she wanted to believe his words as much as he did. Yet, fear held her back from accepting his proposal. “I love you as well. Give me time to consider what I want for my future, and I’ll give you an answer when we reach the others.”
“Fair enough. I can wait.” He went to where his shirt draped over some brush.
Nicholas’s bare torso distracted her as did his damp pants clinging to his legs. She looked out into the fading light and suppressed a sigh. To go a lifetime without love seemed unbearable, but the notion of being with any other man felt intolerable to her as well. She glanced at him as he rifled through the saddlebag. Had he felt the same the first time they lay together? That he’d betrayed Sally and sullied their love?
He interrupted her thoughts by holding out blankets to her, asking, “I’m wondering if we should bother with a fire tonight.”
She unwrapped her bedding from him, checking for damp. “Maybe not. The bedrolls are mostly dry.”
“Sounds like we’re set.” He smiled at her, his eyes sad. “Let’s bunk down and see what tomorrow brings.”
“Maybe I’ll come to my senses?” she teased.
“I can only hope.”
The next morning progressed as usual. She knew enough about bears to consider Nicholas behaving as one today. He didn’t say much at breakfast and even less as they traveled. The food and water refreshing her must have done little for him. A few attempts at lightening his mood later, Beth decided to let him have his demeanor.
A line of rocks buried like a monster’s backbone loomed ahead for most of the morning and behind them in the early afternoon. They skirted Emigrant Pass and passed so many springs, she couldn’t keep the names straight. They saw a large crowd camping at Willow Springs but Nicholas never slowed, letting the horse walk past everyone. She wanted to hug him in gratitude. Other men might have made her go along into the middle of everything, exactly what she hated. “Thank you,” she said close to his shoulder.
He looked back at her, lips near hers. “You’re welcome. I’d like to go a little further than usual for midday. If we get to Independence Rock before dark, I can guess where Sam and the men are by now.”
Beth didn’t know what else to say. Lingering behind the group all the way to Oregon, having Nicholas to herself sounded like heaven. Not, however, if she shared him with Sally’s memory. He’d not mentioned much of her before rescuing Beth. Maybe them being alone and intimate had reminded him of how much he loved his former wife. “How close are we to them?”
“That’s tough to call. Everything depends on how long they spent stopped at any one place. Most stay at Independence Rock a few days if they get there before July 4th.”
“We’re close to the rock ourselves though?”
“Yes, very. Keeping our noontime short and riding into the late evening, we can reach there just before dark.” He paused before asking, “Did you want to press on or hang back a little?”
“Press on, please,” she replied and saw him nod as he nudged the horse into a faster walk. A couple of hours later, her stomach growled and he laughed. He slowed Buck’s pace and dug around for leftovers. She ate the sweet biscuit he offered and used canteen water to wash it down.
“There it is. If you need to, we can stop before we get there.” She shook her head and he pointed toward the southeast. “There’s always a lot of people there. I wouldn’t ask you to go with me except I’d prefer to not leave you alone. Plus, I need to check when Sam and our company passed by here. With any luck, the group stayed a few days knowing we’d be right behind.”
“Don’t worry, I can go. It’s nice you thought of me.” She looked up at the late afternoon sky. She’d worked hard today to resist asking him about Sally. Enough time for thought had passed that Beth didn’t want to hear how wonderful the other woman had been. Daggart gave enough lectures about Lizzy since her death. Nicholas was sure to do the same. The sadness in Nicholas’s eyes at the mention of his wife reminded Beth of why she must refuse his offer. Better for her to marry any other widower than him. Accepting Nicholas’s proposal meant longing for a man who’d never give her all his heart. At least if she married another widower, they’d be each other’s second choice.
Independence Rock appeared to be a lot closer than it was. The time seemed slow and their destination more distant than when they’d first noticed the landmark. “Does it usually take so long to reach the camp there?”
Nicholas laughed. “Yes, always. I’m anxious too.”
She rested her forehead against his back in frustration. “If I could be certain of staying seated, I’d ask to gallop.”
“We’ll be there before too much longer.” He patted her leg. “Did you want to stop for a drink or rest?”
“I do, but no. Let’s just get to fresh water and tonight’s camp.” Beth looked forward to being around other people, even if it meant more noise and crowding. She looked at Nicholas, reluctant to share his attentions with anyone else. Once united with his men and Amelia… She sighed, not wanting to think any more.
“We’ll beat the sunset, I promise.”
True to his word, she noticed Independence Rock eventually loomed large. She saw people going about their business. “Where will we sleep tonight? Every spot seems taken.”
“We’ll go out of the way. Most people won’t backtrack for anything.”
“Thank you,” she said, squeezing his arm for emphasis.
Nicholas glanced back at her, grinning. “You’re very welcome. Also, I’m very selfish like that. You’ll be all mine tonight.”
“I don’t know…” she stammered, leaning away from him. Beth knew she might have been too forward in touching his arm.
“We’re friends, correct?”
Had she heard a little clip to his tone? “Yes we are, and can spend the night together, but not quite together.” She waited for a reply, but he didn’t respond for a long while.
Nudging the horse into a fast walk, he said, “I’m eager to find Sam’s message. So, when we get there, could you please lead Buck to the water and maybe some grass.”
“Of course.” Beth
examined the ground passing underneath them. She hoped better grazing lay past the Rock and closer to the river. A few minutes passed until the smell of cooking, cattle, and people overpowered the light scent of sage. “How do you know where to find the message in all this?”
“Sam and I have a place we like. It’s out of the way, where people usually have to pay young men to climb.”
“Isn’t getting up there dangerous?”
He helped steady her as Beth slid off the horse. “A little for me, a lot if a person is reckless. But I’m not.”
“I’m glad and will see to Buck while you find your secret message.” She waited until he dismounted. “Please be careful.”
He grinned, chiding her, “Why, Miss Roberts, I’m beginning to suspect you like me. Let’s meet here later.” With a tip of his hat to her, he walked towards Independence Rock, now a huge wall of stone in front of him.
Beth wanted to watch him climb but Buck stamped at the ground, distracting her. “Let’s go, boy.” She led him past various campsites. He picked up the pace, pulling her to the river. She smiled at the beast’s impatience. The animal stopped hard at the water’s edge and nosed down to drink. While Buck kept busy, she searched for Nick and spotted him near the top. Fear froze her in place. If he fell from that height, Beth knew he’d not survive. She turned away from the monolith and back to the serene horse. He’d reassured her, but still, accidents followed no schedule. Beth couldn’t imagine her grief if he lost his grip on the rock and died. For a brief instant, she shared a taste of the pain both Nicholas and Daggart held every day.
She swallowed back the lump forming in her throat. Imagining a world without him tempted her into accepting any condition he’d place on their relationship. Beth shook her head, knowing being Nicholas’s consolation prize in life wouldn’t be enough for her. She turned to scan the stone for him but didn’t see him. Had he already fallen and she’d not noticed? Terror gripped her. She took a deep breath, forcing herself to be calm and look for him again.
Panic set in when she didn’t see him, and she focused on the rock surface to keep the fear at bay. Time stretched like hot taffy during her search. Each flicker of movement caught Beth’s attention until she saw it wasn’t Nicholas and dismissed the motion to resume scanning for him.
“Interesting, huh?” said Nicholas in her ear.
He startled her with his proximity. She’d been searching so hard for him at a distance she’d not seen him approach. Relief filled her and she hugged him tight. “You made it! I’m so glad you didn’t fall!”
“Me, too.” He snuggled into her, adding, “They’re one, maybe two days ahead of us.”
“Is that good?” She slipped from his arms when Buck nuzzled her back.
“Yes. We’ll catch up, get your belongings, and settle this mess of who you’re married to once and for all.” He took the reins from her hands. “We can eat, maybe visit with others around here, and sleep, then start fresh in the morning.” He stopped at a spot close to the water but not so near anyone else. “We don’t have a lot of daylight left. Would you like to freshen up first? Maybe I can trade for some meat to go with the rice.”
“Very well, I’ll take the opportunity. Is there anything else I can help you with in the meantime?”
“No, not until you’re done at the river. “I’d like for you to wash up before dark.”
“I will, and thank you.” Beth pulled down saddlebags from Buck’s back while Nicholas unsaddled him. He walked away with a wave, and she tied off their horse for the night. Finding the soap, Nicholas’s hand cloth, the cook pot, and the canteen, she went to the water.
Certain the spot she’d picked was well enough away from anyone else and she could see the riverbed, Beth took off her shoes and socks. She left everything but the canteen on the bank and strolled out to the middle of the river. She dumped out the stale water before filling the flask and drinking. Sweetwater lived up to its name. A few more gulps later, she refilled the container, capped it, and went to the bank. The sky grew ever darker, Beth noticed, so she hurried to wash herself. When she was as clean as a person could be while still dressed, she filled the cook pot half way for dinner. One hand held the water steady and with the other she held her boots stuffed full with socks, soap, and hand towel.
Nicholas still hadn’t returned to their scant camp. Buck and the belongings remained just where he’d left them. Beth searched the gloaming to see if he approached. So many people loomed around the river that he must have found others he knew.
Hungry, she started a fire, letting it build while mixing up beans and rice. She took the time while the food cooked to set out their bedding for the night. Dinner smelled good, especially after the respite she’d had in eating it. Beth looked at the saddlebags. She wanted to read his Bible and reached for the book until remembering the picture of Sally lay between the pages. Was it the only one, she wondered? There had to be more. Beth shook her head. She had no need to see any more proof of how wrong Nicholas was for her. Impatient to get the day done, she dished up and ate her meal. He hadn’t returned by her last bite. Beth sighed, placing his plate over the pan in case he wanted it later. She felt full and weary and laid down. A few blinks and she fell asleep.
Beth woke shivering in the predawn light. She sat up with a start and looked for Nicholas. He slept in his own bed, and she smiled when hearing his soft snore. She saw the clean dishes and knew he’d eaten. She settled back under the blanket and hoped to sleep. The cold seeped into her bones, chilling her too much to rest. The sky lightened enough to keep her awake, and she decided to get started on the day. She kindled the fire, enjoying the heat. Coffee sounded even better, so she took a quick trip to get water. Once the cook pot sat on the embers and she’d thrown in a few coffee beans, Beth began mixing biscuit dough in a cup.
In a short while, the rich smell of breakfast competed with the wet aroma of the sagebrush covered in morning dew. Nicholas sat up, rubbing his eyes like a little boy. “Good morning. Is it ready?”
She smiled at how drowsy he sounded. “Almost.”
He got to his feet. “I’ll see to the horse.”
“This will be ready soon.”
He nodded an assent and walked away. They shared a cup when he returned and then ate without much talk. Both used to the routine, they made quick work of cleaning and packing up the few belongings. Buck began a brisk walk at his owner’s urging. After a while, Nicholas said, “I’m looking forward to tomorrow night. My bet is on us finding everyone else by then.”
“I’ve been keeping a watch along the way for my trunk, in case Daggart discarded it like he discarded me.” At Beth’s admission, Nicholas reached back and patted her leg. She leaned against him in a silent thank you. His warmth in the morning chill made her sleepy and she yawned. She sat up and focused on the open landscape, intent on staying awake and not falling off the horse while asleep. Air and distance gave the rolling hills a blue haze, while the bright green shrubs offset the white seed heads of the prairie grass. She smiled at how the hills closest to them looked like a loaf of bread baking in the sun. Only, this loaf had a section cut out as if God himself wielded the knife. She pointed out the landmark to Nicholas. “Will we be going through that particular pass?”
“We can, but I don’t think you’d care to ride through Devil’s Gate. It’s a channel for the river.”
“That’s the name of it?” she asked and continued after his nod, “Oh, then no, we won’t.”
Still grinning, he looked back at her. “We can walk around and even up to it. There’s a pool on the other side. Shallow, sandy, but nice. You’ll get a good look without having to get in the river itself.”
“Your plan is much more pleasant. Let’s do that.”
Nicholas laughed at her answering the question before he’d had a chance to ask. “Yes, ma’am.”
They walked on, skirting the Gate. Others, some pushing carts, already took advantage of the water at the south side. He continued on a littl
e ways, passing the crowds. Beth gave his arm a squeeze. They resumed after a quick stop for drinks and to stretch their legs.
The trio hugged the Sweetwater River as the route eased from southwest to straight west in direction. The sun shone so bright, it whitened the sky to blinding. The snow in the higher parts of the low mountains to the west of them surprised her. She speculated that must be why the stiff breeze blew so cold from that direction. The low, granite hills shimmered in the late morning sun. Every so often a warmed crosswind seemed to thaw her. She wanted to stop for noon but preferred waiting until Nicholas found something to hunt.
The abundant pronghorn compelled them to wait. Nicholas pulled Buck up short, seeing a herd to the right. He pointed to the west. “Did you enjoy the antelope from yesterday?”
Following his direction, she smiled as she saw the herd grazing in the distance. “Yes, so when you have the chance, please do.”
He withdrew his rifle from the holster and took aim. She felt him tap the horse in a warning, leveling the weapon. Both seemed to hold their breath. She heard him whisper, “One, two,” and the loud blast of the gun. In a couple of seconds, the animal he sighted dropped dead.
The herd scattered as Beth exclaimed, “Good shot!”
“Thank you, ma’am. I hope you wanted antelope for dinner.”
“I did, very much.” She waited until he secured the rifle and then leaned forward, wrapping her arms around him. “How soon can we eat?”
“As soon as we get there.” He nudged the horse into a gallop. She hopped off first, him following when they reached the animal. “I’ll cut what I can. We’ll ride back closer to Sweetwater for camp.”
She nodded, not squeamish, but still not wanting to watch him gut their hunt. “We’re rather low on everything. Dinner might be all meat and some coffee.”
“Do we have enough for tomorrow morning?”
“Yes, but only just.”
“We can skip coffee this evening and make up what’s left of the flour for tomorrow.” He cut more of the flank. “That way, we can leave out early and catch up sooner.”
She nodded. “I might take Buck back to the river, if you can carry everything.”
“Yes, leave me the cook pot.” She placed the pan next to him and he put the cut meat into it. “Thank you, I can use this while you get us some water.”
“Very well.” She left, leading Buck a couple of hundred yards back to the river. She eased to the water’s edge to let the horse drink. While the horse drank, she checked if Nicholas could see her. His back was to them as he continued to butcher the antelope. Counting on his distraction, she removed her dress while still wearing her underclothes and began washing her bodice. She took the chance to rinse her lower skirt as much as she could without getting in herself. After wringing out the water, she spread her dress out to dry. Her underclothes, though thin, still kept her decent, so she took Buck back to their new camp a little ways up the bank. She cared for the horse, and just as she finished staking out Buck, Nicholas returned with a pot full of meat. She felt guilty for not fetching water or starting a fire. “The task didn’t take you very long.”
His easy grin reassured her. “I’ve had practice.” He knelt, digging around in his saddlebags for his flint kit. Once a small flame burned, Nicholas stood. “If you don’t mind, I can get the water while I’m taking my turn to clean up. I feel like my mouth is coated with dust.”
She walked with him to the river’s edge. “Don’t worry about supper. I’ll bring back the water and get it started while you’re washing.”
He pulled off his boots, leaving on his socks. While shrugging off his shirt, he stretched, saying, “You could help me bathe.” He grinned at her while undoing his pants.
Beth’s cheeks burned. His offer tempted, but she shook her head. “Maybe I will wait until you return.”
He laughed. “If you must. Otherwise, feel free to join me.”
She took the chance to fill both of their cups. Beth eased her way back to camp, minding every drop. Her face still hot, she very much wanted to join him, but her stomach growled. First food, and later maybe something else. She cut up the meat so it would cook tender, adding rice, the water, and a little bit of salt. Satisfied with dinner simmering, she began setting up their beds.
Beth heard him approach after a while and turned to make sure. His dark hair turned black with dampness brought out the steel blue of his eyes.
He spread his shirt out over a nearby sagebrush. “Smells good.”
She dished him up a plate of meat. “Try this and see if you think it’s finished. The rice is still cooking. It’s too chewy.”
“I’m hungry enough to not care.” He settled in beside her and took a bite, nodding. “Very good. We should keep a herd of antelope with us always for just this reason.”
“Thank you.” She ate a bite, her breath catching when she glanced at him. Nicholas stared at her, desire in his eyes. Beth’s face heated and she stirred their food as if doing so would make the rice cook any faster. She shared his need but focused on their dinner as she heard him move closer to her. Seeing him without his shirt distracted her from everything.
He moved behind her and leaned in against her back, putting a hand on Beth’s shoulder. Nicholas caressed down to where her hand led the spoon. “I think this will do fine on its own.” Moving the pan a little away from the fire, he added, “Now, where was I? Ah, yes.” His lips pressed against her neck, under Beth’s earlobe.
She leaned into his kiss. “I don’t know if we should.”
“I do, and I’m tired of waiting.” He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight.
Her skin tingled through the thin undergarment, feeling his bare chest warming her back like the flames warmed her front. “We’re so close to everyone.”
“I’m trying to care about them, I am.” He moved to her side, pulling her onto him and away from the fire. “But right now, I want to kiss you so much, I can’t think of anything else.”
She braced herself against him, hands resting on the ground above his shoulders. How odd to think passersby might suppose she had him trapped. Beth felt how ready he was for her and shivered. “I’ve tried to remember what I must do as well. This might not be wise.” He felt so inviting, her slip and his pants the only fabric between them. “Just a kiss or two couldn’t hurt,” she whispered.
Nicholas held her head with both hands, kissing her so her toes curled. Oh Lord, she thought, what had she just allowed? Just their lips meeting felt so good, it had to be wrong. She struggled to stay coherent by remembering Nicholas’s prediction. Tomorrow, they’d reach Daggart and the others. She’d retrieve her belongings, maybe have enough to reach Oregon by herself. Maybe once there she’d find a widower willing to marry her. A sharp sound of fabric ripping caught her attention.
“Beth! I’m so sorry!” Nicholas’s hand rested on her upper arm, her undergarment torn at her cleavage where he’d tried to ease down the material. “I just wanted…I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
She sat upright, smiling at his remorseful expression. Beth loved him so very much and this might be the last night for them to be truly alone. “I can fix this.” A quick glance around reassured her no one else lurked close by. Satisfied of their privacy, she lifted the back of the shift, bringing it over her head ad forward. She slipped her arms out and held the garment in front of her. “This might be better for you and my clothing.”
He also sat up, letting her legs continue to straddle his hips. “I agree, but....” Nicholas caressed her bared upper arms and shoulders. “It’s still pretty light out here, I don’t know….”
His lips forming words tempted her so much, she kissed him with a feather light touch. “We can cover with a blanket. I don’t care. I need you.”
He nuzzled her neck while blindly reaching for the other blankets to create one bed. Nicholas used his foot to get the far end beside them as well before leaning back, pulling her with him. He held her secure, rolling over to
where she lay on the bottom. Beth laughed at his actions. He asked, “Is this all right with you?”
“Very, thank you.”
Nicholas covered them both with her blanket, letting it settle around his shoulders and slide down to his middle back. He sheltered her chest with his, hiding her from even his own gaze. He nestled closer and kissed her neck, behind her ear, and moved to her mouth.
Her body ached for him. She spread her knees a little to allow him nearer, sharing his sentiment when hearing his pained groan. She opened her eyes, ending their kiss. When he looked at her, Beth asked, “How about I help you out of those constricting trousers?”
“Please do.” He lifted his hips from hers. “Does this help?”
She smiled at him in answer, undoing the belt and buttons, sliding down his pants until his hardness caught the waistband. Beth felt shy touching him there and knew how silly she was. She’d touched him much more intimately than this. She reached in and held him. He felt like an iron bar wrapped in the silkiest material. Surprised at how something so hard could be so soft, she looked up into his eyes. He frowned as if in pain. “Does that hurt?”
He rested his forehead against her shoulder, gasping, “No. Feels too good to be true.”
She smiled, enjoying the power her touch held over him. “I might have to help you inside me.”
“Please.”
“Kiss me?” she asked and he answered with a harsh meeting of their lips, as if he intended to mark her as his forever. He pulled back, pressing the tip of his tongue against her lips, parting them as he pressed his hardness into her. Both projections overwhelmed Beth with the sensation. She groaned, the pleasure unexpected and too much. Remembering their last time together, she wrapped one leg, then the other, around his waist. The action allowed him deeper access into her.
Nicholas pulled his mouth from hers to say, “Damn it woman, you don’t make this easy.” He lifted from elbows to hands. He resumed his easy thrusts into her. Cupping a breast, he said, “How did I resist you all this time? I can’t imagine leaving you alone ever again.” He lowered to rest on his left elbow, his right hand still holding her so intimately, and his thumb caressing her nipple.
Beth held onto his shoulders, sliding her hands down to his upper arms. One bicep hard, holding his weight, the other soft as he caressed her, sending ripples of gratification throughout her body. Each movement of his pushed her closer to the release. As he eased to rest on both elbows, his lips reaching hers, she stifled a gasp. Beth wanted him to move lower, kissing where his thumb had touched her nipple. The thought of him doing so thrilled her more. She wrapped her arms around him, lost in the lovemaking.
His breathing became faster, each exhale almost a moan in her ear. “I can’t keep going like this.” His lips pressed against her skin, Nicholas said, “Slide your hands and feet lower on my body.”
The request intrigued her. Was this his attempt to make their union better, and if so, how could such a thing be possible? Yet, Beth complied, her level of tension kept constant by his relentless thrusting. She didn’t notice her feet reaching his calves so much as when her hands touched his lower back. Beth stopped, feeling his hips under her fingers.
“Yes!” Nicholas gasped before adding, “No, no. Just…lower.”
She complied by lifting her shoulders a little to reach further down his body. Upon feeling his muscles providing the momentum, the string holding her passion at bay snapped. Her fingernails dug into his flesh before she could help herself. “Nicholas! More! Harder! Love me, please love me!”
He gave a strangled cry and she felt his own pleasure adding to hers. The summit they reached seemed unbearable with the rapture between them. Beth clung to him as much as he did her, their bodies rigid with the mutual release.
Several minutes passed before their heartbeats slowed. He relaxed a little, letting his body rest against hers. “Do you want more?”
Beth felt the desire in him filling her and replied, “I don’t know. There can’t be more.”
“There is.” He scooped up her leg so the back of her knee rested in the crook of his arm. “I can’t last for long this time,” he said as he began moving inside her.
“We could do this again?” she asked, seeing him frown as if in pain. His expression and her leg being pulled so wide for his entry felt amazing. Unable to reach his lower back again, Beth settled for burying her fingers in his hair. She pulled his face closer, kissing him. Beth moaned as his tongue raked her teeth. In a move she considered bold, she touched his tongue with her own. He shivered and she suppressed a smile at his pleasure. Beth wondered how much control Nicholas had over his own release. She wanted to tease him and lifted her hips repeatedly to meet his every thrust. His words always brought on her satisfaction. Maybe hers could hasten his as well. She broke the kiss to whisper in his ear. “I didn’t know a man could be so, so much, before you.” A hard pant escaped her at his sudden thrust. “I’d only ever seen stallions so large.”
He cried out, “No!” and pressed his lips against her forehead. Muffled, he stopped moving while his body tensed. “Damn, Elizabeth! I can’t.”
His agony delighted her more than she’d thought. “I don’t want to hurt you. Just please you.”
“That’s the problem. I’m too pleased.”
She ran her palms up and down his body. “You feel just right to me.”
He let go of her leg and rose to his elbows to look down at her. “So beautiful, loving me like this.” He closed his eyes, letting his head drop. “I can’t see you like this without losing control. You’re my fever and only this will cure me.” He lifted his chin, staring into her eyes. “I can think of a future remedy I’d like to try.”
The idea of another episode like this thrilled Beth. “A future remedy?”
“One where I kiss every inch of your body.” He withdrew and pressed into her a little harder than before. “Even here.”
The very idea of a touch so unimagined shocked her. His kiss, there? Nicholas resumed his movements as a rush of pleasure cascaded through Beth. Each pulse through her body was more intense than the one before it. This time, she was unable to say anything, so she just held him tight and panted wordlessly with his every stroke.
“That’s my girl. That’s what I want.” He wrapped his arms under her. “You want me to kiss you everywhere, don’t you?”
“Yes!” Recovered a little, she added, “I want to do the same. Kiss you everywhere.”
“Do you…?”
“Everywhere, every inch,” she said and smiled when he responded with a shudder. Beth felt an impending release building in his every muscle. She wanted to shove him over the edge like he had her. “Please let me kiss you there.”
He gave a strangled cry, body tensed. “So good.” His every movement made as if under duress, at last he melted against her. After catching his breath a little, he said, “Every time we’re done, I think nothing can ever be as good. And the next time we’re together, you prove me wrong.”
She kissed his neck. “Likewise, sir.”
Raising so his weight rested on his hands, he asked, “Are you hungry?”
“Starving and not for you this time.” She grinned at his chuckle. “I can warm up our food while you settle in Buck for the night.”
“I might get dressed first.”
Beth laughed at the thought of him running around with pants around his ankles. As he fastened his trousers, she said, “At least you weren’t too naked.”
He reached over to retrieve and hand Beth her slip. “Between my clothes and your shoes, we’re almost fully clothed.”
She looked at her feet, still wearing her boots. Had they really been together and she’d been fully shod? Her face heated to an unbearable degree. “I wasn’t aware…”
Kneeling in front of her, he said, “I’m glad. It shows me our passion is mutual.” Nicholas stood. “Caring for our animal is first, dinner second.”
Beth nodded at his retreating form. She shoo
k herself from a sleepy daze and pulled on her slip before poking at the fire. A few flames flared, and she pushed the cooling food back in to warm. She shivered, her body still tingling from their act.
Being together this way hadn’t been ideal. She loved him more each time they were intimate. Living without him had been difficult to imagine in the beginning, unbearable now, and would be impossible if they continued. She busied herself with the food, not wanting to think about tomorrow. She dished out their remaining dinner as he strolled up, sitting beside her.
He held up the canteen. “I’ve brought fresh water. It’s the finest wine this country has to offer.”
She took a drink and replied, “This is very good, but could be any sort of wine and I couldn’t guess at the quality.”
He took a bite and swallowed. “You’ve never had wine?”
“No.” Beth gave him back the canteen. “Not unless you include overripe fruit sometimes.”
“I’ll have to introduce you to the taste when we get home.”
“Oh?” His assumptions and cheerful expression hurt. She looked away, unhappy he continued to ignore her decision.
“It’s a treat when we indulge, especially at Christmas and New Years.”
Her food lost its taste. “The holidays seem very far from now,” she managed to say before forcing herself to eat one last bite.
“Now they do, but before you know it, we’ll be knee deep in snow.” He looked from the fire to her and caressed her face. “I’m already looking forward to winter nights with you.” She choked at his words, and he asked, “Are you alright?”
After gulping down water, she answered him, “Yes, I’m fine. I just don’t know what will happen in the future.”
Patting her back, he reassured her, “No one does, but I’m certain we’ll be married soon after reaching the others.”
Beth shook her head, regaining her voice with a final cough. “We won’t be married at all.”
Nicholas laughed. “You sound as if you’re certain and you can’t be. We’ll most likely be married by this time tomorrow.”
“No, we won’t.” The effort to say the words aloud hurt her as if she had a physical pain. She pressed on, hoping to make him understand. “I will not marry you, not now, not ever.”
“Good Lord.” He stood. “I think you’re serious.”
She gathered the plates and also stood.“I am very serious.” Beth glanced away when seeing the hurt in his face. She refused to let her feelings and sympathy sway her decision. “I won’t marry you, so please don’t ask again.”
“Is it just me in particular, or marriage in general?”
The upset in his voice pierced her heart. She wanted to hold him and agree to anything he suggested no matter how much it harmed her later. “I don’t think I should answer.”
“So it is me, then.” He looked west at the horizon. “Have I done something wrong?”
“No.” Beth put the dishes near the fire, unhappy at having to wash them tomorrow. “You’ve done nothing wrong.”
“No? This is illogical.” He took her by the shoulders, far more gently than Daggart ever did. “Every time we make love convinces me that we belong together. I can’t imagine anyone else I’d rather have in my life than you.”
“Yes, you can.” She paused before staring into his eyes. “You can imagine Sally.”
He released Beth, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “She’s not here.”
Any weakness she might have had vanished with his answer. His words confirmed in her mind what she already thought. “And you love me only because I am?”
He laughed without humor. “You being here is a large part of it, yes. Otherwise, I’d find it very difficult to love you.”
She shook her head. Nicholas loved Sally despite the circumstances, while his feelings for Beth were circumstantial. She seemed doomed to always fill the shoes of a deceased wife. “I absolutely will not marry you, Nicholas. Not now, not ever. I plan on marrying someone else when we arrive, saying you were the perfect gentleman. I’ll tell them you believed I was married to someone else and respected me.”
“You are not married to Bartlett and you will not marry anyone else but me.” He ground out between gritted teeth, “Not now, not ever.”
His order angered her and Beth put her hands on her hips, close to raising her voice. “Again, I will marry someone else, anyone else suitable for me.” She searched her memory for someone they knew to be a widower. “Mr. Calhoon, maybe. He’s still grieving but might need help with the children.”
“Calhoon?” Nicholas squinted, each word enunciated from fury. “Have you even spoken to him? Touched him like you have me?”
His suggestion shocked and repulsed Beth. “Goodness no! I’ve chatted with him in passing, but never…not like with you, no.”
He crossed his arms, a smug expression on his face. “And yet you prefer him to me?”
No, she preferred no one in this world to him. Unlike how he preferred her because Sally was dead. “Yes, I do want him, and will marry him if he’ll have me.”
Letting his arms fall to his side as if in defeat, he stated, “Tell me why and I’ll abide by your decision.”
The sadness displayed in Nicholas’s expression upset her too. Beth tried to think of how best to tell him her plan. “Mr. Calhoon is a fine man who needs a woman to help his family. With being a replacement wife to first Daggart and then you, I’d prefer to go on and be a replacement wife to him.”
“A replacement wife is what you’d call yourself?”
“Yes.” She waited for him to say more. When he remained silent, Beth continued. “Mr. Calhoon is my second choice for a husband, which, from what I’ve learned, is what I need. That way, we’re both a consolation prize in our marriage.”
“This is assuming Calhoon is interested in a second wife. And assuming I’ll let you marry him at all, which won’t happen.”
She smiled a little, knowing he wasn’t as much the boss of her as he thought. “You don’t have a choice.”
“I’m beginning to believe you.” He straightened out their rumpled bedrolls. “What I don’t understand is how you love me, yet are willing to marry anyone else.”
Beth shook her head and had to argue with him, “Not just anyone else.”
His eyes narrowed. “But not me.”
“No, Nicholas, not you. I refuse to marry you because you’re my first love and I’m not yours. I’ve been down this path and refuse to live a life in love with a man who’s using me as a bookmark in his life.”
“My loving you doesn’t matter?”
“It does, yes.” She saw the triumphant expression in his face and had to continue, “But not enough for a lifetime together.”
He had their beds fixed by now and lay in his. “I don’t think you’re being very rational. I can’t undo the past. I can’t stop loving Sally just because you’re jealous.”
“Excuse me? I’m not jealous.” Beth sat to remove her shoes and socks. Knowing she lied, she had to confess. “All right, yes, I’m jealous, but not of her specifically.”
“Oh?” He held open her bed so Beth could slide between the covers.
She lay face up, looking at the night sky. “I’m jealous that I’ll never be your first love, the one you love more than anyone else.”
After a moment, he said, “I can’t change my history.”
“I know.” She heard him lie down and get comfortable in his own bed. Beth wondered if he’d want a good night from her now.
“I still love and want to marry you.”
She paused; wanting to trust him, believe he’d love her for herself. “I know you think that.”
“I think I love you?” He shook his head. “I’m glad you admit that much.” Nicholas thought for a moment before saying, “We have an interesting day tomorrow. I suggest we get some sleep.”
Beth didn’t reply but stared into the dying fire for a long while, unable to relax. The too quiet breathing
of her companion told her Nicholas was awake as well. At long last she whispered, “I do adore you.”
“Good night, Elizabeth.”
She opened her eyes to the smell of coffee. Seeing Nicholas sitting across the fire, Beth sat. “Good morning.”
“Good morning. We’ll need to skip breakfast and get an early start. I’m impatient to reach the others.”
“I understand.”
“You don’t seem to, but will soon.” He held out her full cup. “We’ll leave when you’re finished drinking this.”
“Should I hurry?”
He sighed, “Don’t scald yourself but don’t stall, either. Mr. Calhoon might not like to be kept waiting, even if he doesn’t know it.”
“He doesn’t know, not yet.” Beth watched as he rolled up his bedding, saddled Buck, and brought over her dry dress. “Thank you.” He nodded an acknowledgement and she blew on her coffee to cool it faster. Their time together grew ever shorter. She hesitated to do anything to hasten their departure, but her need to settle things with Daggart propelled her forward.
Beth drained her cup and shrugged into her dress. She carried the two items to the river. Catching sight of him leading Buck to the water, she felt a lump rose in her throat. She loved him, loved the smallest glimpse of him. Tears threatened to spill. Doubt crept into her mind. Was living a life without him better than living a life as a replacement, she wondered. How long would they have before he realized she could never be his Sally? Beth wiped the tears from her face in a hurry before he caught her crying. She’d made her decision and it was the right one for them. Nicholas needed a woman who pined for her first love as well, not her.
He turned to her as she approached. “Ready? So am I, so let’s get going. The sooner we find the others, the sooner we can have Sam fix us something to eat.” They did the near dance of getting on Buck and started west.
Neither talked and Beth enjoyed the silence. She wanted to hold him this last time. If the group traveled as close as Nicholas speculated, she thought better of arriving in an intimate embrace. The sun-warmed smell of his shirt and skin enticed her to press her lips against his shoulder just to smell his skin. With temptation this close to her, the miles crept past as if they raced snails and turtles.
“I see them!” Nicholas leaned over so Beth could see as well. “Right there! We’ll be caught up by dinner, maybe even mid afternoon.”
“Good.”
“It will be. I want this settled once and for all.”
“So do I.”
Giving her a glare, he turned to the west. “In fact, hold on and I’ll see how fast Buck wants to go.”
“I don’t know if that’s—” she managed to say before he nudged the horse into a slow gallop. She hollered “Whoa!” and grabbed Nicholas around the waist when Buck lunged forward.
He laughed and nudged his horse into a faster pace. “I warned you.”
The speed blinded her. Had she ever gone so fast in her life, she wondered. Beth held tight, the ride somewhat smooth but unsettling. “How far?” she managed to holler out at him.
“A couple of miles! Are you doing well? Shall I slow us?”
“No, keep going.” She grit her teeth and held tighter as he laughed.
“That’s my girl!”
Beth almost started arguing about being his anything but decided to show versus telling him yet again. War whoops from the Granville men Lucky and Chuck caused her to open her eyes. Nicholas slowed Buck to a slow gallop then fast walk as the duo reached them. She let go of him as everyone began talking at once. The noise and attention as the men gathered their horses around overwhelmed her.
Mr. Lucky spoke the loudest and fastest. “We’re almost to Split Rock and didn’t know if you’d catch up by then.”
“Who’s going to lose the most money with us arriving now?” Nicholas asked.
“We didn’t bet nothing,” Chuck said.
Nicholas laughed, asking, “How much?”
Lucky glanced at the other man as they both flanked the couple. “Maybe Claude might lose a little bit. He’d bet on you reaching us at Independence Rock. Everyone else bet later if you found her alive.” He tipped his hat at Beth. “Everyone will be rightly pleased to see you so sound, ma’am.”
“Thank you, I’m glad.” She caught the look passing between him and Chuck, wondering at its meaning. “How is Mr. Bartlett?”
Lucky stared at his boots and muttered, “I don’t know if that’s something you’ll want to know, ma’am. We’re not quite sure how he is at the moment.”
She didn’t like how uncomfortable both of the men seemed to be. An odd feeling of foreboding crept over her. “Why not?”
Chuck replied, “Because he’s gone.”
Beth’s blood seemed to drain from her body. Had Daggart died in her absence? She swallowed and croaked out, “Gone?”
Lawrence punched the other man on the arm in disapproval. “Oh, not very gone, ma’am, not at all! Or at least not gone like we thought you were.”
As he gave a massaging rub to his bicep, Chuck added, “He traded everything for a horse.”
Lucky added, “The day Mr. Granville left, Bartlett said he needed a faster way to California. So Mr. Sam made him a deal, a horse and provisions for everything else Bartlett owned.”
“So he’s not dead, ma’am,” Chuck finished.
“Mr. Granville owns my belongings?” Beth bit her lip, unable to think of a solution to her problems. She didn’t know if Calhoon would not only marry her but also give her the money to buy back her family heirlooms.
The two looked at Nicholas before Lawrence replied, “I’m sure he’d share with you, or something, ma’am. I mean, we’re all still wearing the socks you made us. Maybe you could have a bargain or something.”
“Maybe so.” She sighed, scared and frustrated at the mess Daggart left her. “I’ll have to think about this for a while.”
“Sure, ma’am,” Chuck said, taking off his hat and twisting it in his hands.
Lawrence tugged at the bandana around his neck. “We’re real glad you’re alive. The way Mr. Nick took off and Mr. Daggart’s trading, well, we’re just glad.”
“Thank you.” She didn’t know what else to say, upset by her brother-in-law’s abrupt leaving and the fact she only owned what she wore. Beth glanced at Nicholas. She had a sudden urge to marry him for the security he provided, even if she never measured up to Sally’s memory.
Nicholas leaned in as if knowing her thoughts and said, “I have a solution for you, Miss Roberts.”
She could say yes, Beth knew, and trade one set of problems for another. “No.” The answer left her like a curse word. She shook her head. “My answer will always be no.”
“All right.” He waved a few seconds later as Samuel approached.
“You found her!” Granville hollered as soon as within earshot. He galloped to them, swinging off his horse and running to them. “Get down here and let me see you.”
Nicholas held out his hand for her and she swung off the horse. Before she could turn to him, Samuel had her in a bear hug and Beth croaked out, “Oh goodness, Mr. Granville!”
Giving her an extra squeeze, he held her at arm’s length and said, “Don’t Mr. me young lady, I’m Sam to you, now. You heard about Bartlett?” At her nod in assent, he went on, “And about his deal with me?”
“A little. You own everything of mine?”
“Until now, yes. Consider me keeping it safe until your return.”
“You didn’t know I’d return.”
He hugged her again, squishing the breath from Beth. “I didn’t but am glad Nick found you.” To the three others watching them, he said, “We’ll walk, you all can go ahead. The poor girl needs me to catch her up on everything.”
Nicholas stated, “She can ride with me.”
Appealing to Samuel, she said, “I’d rather walk, if you don’t mind.”
“Suit yourself,” the eldest Granville scowled at them. “I’m riding ahe
ad.”
Beth started to reply in agreement, stopping short when he galloped away. “He’s either hungry or angry.”
“I could guess,” Samuel laughed. “The hungry I can understand. You must be as well.”
“We had to miss breakfast.”
“You’re not walking another step. Here,” he got on his horse and held out his hand like his brother had. “We can ride in so you’ll have something to eat.”
She followed him up, already missing the usual buffer against the cantle. “We can also discuss how much I owe you for everything.”
“Sounds good. Although,” he looked back at her with a grin, “if you’re my sister-in-law, you could consider it a wedding present.”
She hoped Samuel lacked Nicholas’s stubbornness. “I won’t be so I can’t.”
“He didn’t propose?” Samuel faced the front and nudged his horse into a fast walk. “He must be waiting for a more romantic time and place.”
Bracing for an argument, Beth replied in an even tone, “He proposed. I said no.”
“I see.” They rode for a few minutes before he asked, “I suppose you had a good reason?”
“A very good one.”
“That’s too bad.”
She wanted to agree but kept quiet. At first, she longed to cry on Samuel’s shoulder. He’d been trustworthy and she wanted someone to reassure her. But from an objective point of view, Beth saw no need in telling him her thoughts. The time would be better spent in setting her sights on Mr. Calhoon.
They reached and rode into the wagon circle. Everyone on foot and a few on horses came over to see her, having heard the news. The greetings and well wishes ran together in their frequency. She enjoyed the excitement, happy to receive it.
Once the fuss died a little, Samuel said in a quiet voice, “No matter what you’d like to do concerning Nick, I do need someone to care for your wagon. I’ve had to juggle three myself and need the help.”
“Of course! I’d be glad to do so.” She’d struggled to help Daggart with their wagon. Samuel must have had a horrible time of it these several days. “Maybe I could be the group’s cook, do laundry, and care for the animals too.”
“I like that idea. You’re hired.”
Nicholas rode up to them. “Everyone thinks we’re getting married, we’re stopping for noon, and I found your wagon.”
“It’s Samuel’s wagon, not mine.” She took the younger man’s hand and slid from horseback.
“Samuel?” He exhaled and also dismounted at the same time as his brother. “How nice you’re so unattached and so familiar with him already.”
Samuel dismounted and nudged her, grinning. “Don’t mind him. He’s very often jealous of me. I’m much more handsome.”
“Shut it,” Nicholas all but yelled at the other man. He pointed at Beth, “You’re not marrying anyone else but me.”
Crossing her arms, she said, “You know my plan.”
He stepped up and stood almost nose to nose with her. Teeth gritted, he asked, “Shall I tell you what to do with that plan?”
She enunciated each word so he would better understand. “You wouldn’t dare!”
“Yes. I. Would. Because this no longer amuses me. Everyone in camp assumes I’ll do right and make an honest woman of you. I don’t intend on proving them wrong.”
A part of her liked how close his face was to hers, within kissing distance. She took a deep breath, determined to not accept being second choice. “You’ll have to because I’m marrying anyone else in camp besides you.”
Nicholas leaned away as if she’d slapped him. “Anyone else?” He pointed at his brother, “How about Sam? You’ll marry him? He’s anyone else.” His voice rose as he pointed out the nearby men. “How about Chuck, Lawrence, Mr. Chatillon? They’re all eligible and certainly anyone else but me.”
She bit her lip, not wanting to hurt any of the bystanders’ feelings, but not wanting to propose marriage to them in such a backhanded way. “None of them, no. Sam’s too much like a brother, and the others are nice, but not likely to find me interesting.”
“So it’s Calhoon, then? He is the anyone else you mean? He’s the only one you’ve mentioned by name. Do you even remember his appearance? His age?”
“Of course I do.” What she remembered of Calhoon seemed pale and dreary when an impassioned Nicholas faced her. “But he’s a widower and that’s what counts.”
Samuel interjected, “How is him being a widower important?”
Nicholas snorted, replying, “It’s not. Beth thinks there’s something wrong with me and needs an excuse.”
His assessment angered her. She’d never thought of him as less than an ideal man. “I do not! There is nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect and I love you dearly, but I’m not spending the rest of my life in Sally’s shadow with you wishing I was her or hating me because I’m not. Two years of being a second rate Lizzy was enough for a lifetime. I refuse to be in love with a man who is in love with a ghost. So no, Mr. Granville, I will not marry you, ever.”
Samuel began laughing, more so when Beth heard and gave him a fierce look. He stopped upon seeing Nicholas glaring at him as well. “Miss Roberts doesn’t know, does she?”
Wound up too much from irritation, she said, “I know enough, thank you.”
“I’m not sure.” Samuel shook his head, grinning despite the tense atmosphere between them. “You’ve argued more with Nick just now than I’ve ever seen you do anyone else. It’s amazing, really. I’m very impressed.”
Nicholas retorted, “Good, because your good opinion is the objective.”
“If you could see past that haze of infatuation, you’d realize how much she loves you as well.”
“Not enough to marry me,” Nicholas said in a quiet tone.
Samuel put his arm around her, asking, “Is that true, Beth?”
She nodded, not looking at Nicholas. “I meant what I said about taking another woman’s place.”
“Very well,” Samuel said. “Come with me. I’ll fix our meal and have a task for you both in the meantime.”
Beth glanced at Nicholas to see what he thought.
He caught her silent query and retorted, “I don’t know, but if it means he feeds us, let’s go along.”
“If it means food…” She felt like an errant child as they followed Samuel to the Granvilles’ wagon.
“Nick, you sit here. Miss Roberts, here.” They both sat facing him while he stood. “Ah, now here’s the trick. Don’t look at me but at each other. Turn around to make it easier. Do this the entire time and once you’re done, you’re done.”
This seemed like a game the two men had played before and Beth wondered about the rules. “Can we talk or just look?”
“Of course you can talk, in fact, please do.” Samuel tapped his brother on the head for emphasis. “Just no fisticuffs.”
Nicholas laughed. “Don’t tell me, tell her. She’s the one being ornery.”
Beth smiled at his choice of words before retorting, “You’re the one not listening, so Sam might have to tell you all this again.”
“Sam, huh?”
The jealousy in his voice amused her. “You’re correct. I should call him Mr. Sam since I’m in his employ now.”
“Since when?”
“Since I decided I need something more than your horse’s back to ride to Oregon and what few belongings I have.” Her voice caught despite her best efforts to maintain an even tone. She knew he’d heard her sadness when his stubborn expression softened.
“You’re not returning to Independence?”
“I suppose I could. It depends…” She didn’t want to continue, saying her future hinged on what Mr. Calhoon decided. She smoothed her skirt, wondering when would be a good time to tell the other man her plan. Beth looked up at Nicholas through her eyelashes to find him staring at her. Embarrassed, she gave him a slight smile.
Nicholas sighed and reached out to take her hands in his. “Elizabeth, please marry me
. I promise to be the best husband possible.” He stared at her. “After losing Sally, I didn’t think I would ever love again until meeting you for the first time that day. My heart almost hurts with happiness whenever I hear your voice or see your face. Every word, every touch, has branded me as yours for the rest of my life.”
His mention of their first sight caught her by surprise. As if a portrait painted in her mind, she recalled the sorrow in his eyes and the unhappiness during their time together. Now, when she stared at him, she saw hope and love, the same as she felt. “I remember that day.” She caressed his cheek.
He kissed her hand, saying against her skin, “I want us to have so many days together, they blend into one long lifetime. You’re wrong about being my second choice wife. I’m a man twice blessed and don’t intend on letting the last love of my life go.”
“I’m a love of your lifetime, almost as much as Sally was?”
“Yes, almost.” Before she could reply, he added, “You and I aren’t even engaged and we’d need to be married just to make sure.”
“Need to be, hm?” She smiled at his flimsy argument. “I’m not so sure about marrying a man just to prove him right.”
Samuel startled them by asking, “Beth, Do I need to get Calhoon over here to marry you?”
“She is not ever marrying that man, Sam,” he replied with a smile. “I forbid it.”
He squatted down to his brother’s eye level and retorted, “He’s the only minister in a twenty mile range, and his feelings might be hurt if you refuse to let him.”
“Oh.”
Beth pulled away from Nicholas and stood, straightening out her skirt. Saying yes would be the easy thing for her to do. They’d not discussed a future together. Daggart’s very exsistance had forbidden them. She bit her lip, and saw him still sitting there, looking up at her like a lost puppy. She didn’t want to say no but didn’t feel comfortable accepting a proposal. “I’m not sure.”
He hopped to his feet. “What can I do to help you decide in my favor? Shall I draw up a list of my assets, my educational history, my family tree, or even have Sam speak for me?”
Samuel wore an evil grin. “You know I won’t be kind to him.”
Both men stared at her as if willing Beth to give them the answer Nicholas wanted. All this would be much more amusing if she weren’t so tired and hungry all of a sudden. “Gentlemen, let’s discuss this after dinner.”
“I don’t want to wait.” Nicholas crossed his arms. “I love you, can provide whatever you need, and have a solid family in Oregon. We could even move back to Missouri. I have a house there.”
Samuel laughed. “Make him take you to Oregon. He has more land there and can build you a bigger shack than the house he has in Missouri.”
“You’re not helping,” Nicholas growled.
“Neither are you. Let’s feed Miss…?”
“Roberts,” offered Beth.
“Roberts, and then pester her into accepting you. Tell her how much land our family has, how much our mother wanted a daughter, and don’t forget to mention that you won’t be home much. That’ll convince her.”
“Sam.”
She frowned. If she did marry him, she wanted him with her most days. “Why won’t you be home?”
The younger brother stepped between them, telling Beth, “He’s not been back since Sally died and won’t be used to taking orders from a woman.”
Behind him, Nicholas tapped his brother on the shoulder. “Don’t you have something else to do that’s anywhere but here?”
“I’m going, I’m going.” Samuel headed out toward the wagon party, hollering, “Be sure to tell her you’re kinder to everyone else than you are to me,” as he left.
Once certain his brother was gone, Nicholas’s cheek brushed hers as he leaned forward then back to take her hands. “Elizabeth, we’re only a third of the way home, and yes, our home is in Oregon. Before you can argue, you need to know that anything can happen between here and there. Most of it will be bad while some of it might be good. The only certainty I have about the trail ahead is that I want to travel it as your husband.” Keeping hold of her hands, he knelt on one knee. “I need you in my life and can promise you’ll always be first in my heart.”
Beth’s heart pleaded with her to believe him. Seeing how his eyes echoed her own feelings added to the argument. “I don’t know if you can say that. Daggart wanted—”
“He isn’t me, Elizabeth. I want you for yourself, not as some sad replacement for Sally. I can never be her husband again, but I can be yours and that’s all I want for the rest of my life. If we’re married, I’ll prove it to you every day.”
She wanted to take him in her arms and never let go. “Well, then. It looks like Mr. Calhoon is marrying me after all.” She helped up her groom. “Or rather, marrying us. Let’s go find him and make arrangements for the ceremony.”
On his feet, he asked, “To be clear, you’re saying yes to marrying me?”
She wrapped her arms around Nicholas, kissing his face. “I’m saying yes very much, so shall we go?”
“Of course, my future Mrs. Granville.” He laughed when she tickled him by nuzzling his neck. “Sam was right about everything except my being away from you. After suffering through one night of not knowing where you were, I’m never letting that happen again.”
She pulled away to squint at him. “Are you sure your mother won’t mind your marrying me and you have enough land for Erleen, maybe some chickens, and a garden?”
“Horses, more than one cow, crops, a pond, a good well, all of it.” He kissed her forehead before moving to the tip of her nose and lips. “And my mother is going to love you.”
A little premonition of a wonderful future with Nicholas went through her thoughts when she stared into his eyes. No other doubts clouded her mind and she smiled before taking a step back, pulling him with her. “Then let’s get married. I’ll need to make an honest man out of you, so we can start enjoying our nights together.”
Other books by Laura Stapleton
The Oregon Trail Series
Undeniable (The Oregon Trail Series) - Book 1
Undesirable (The Oregon Trail Series) - Book 2
Uncivilized (The Oregon Trail Series) - Book 3
The Oregon Trail Series Short Stories
The Very Manly Series
The Very Best Man (The Very Manly Series) - Book 1
The Very Worst Man (The Very Manly Series) - Book 2
The Very Rich Man (The Very Manly Series) - Book 3
The Nova Scotia Murder Mysteries
Imposter: A Nova Scotia Murder Mystery
Holidays (A Nova Scotia Murder Mystery)
Betrayal: A Nova Scotia Murder Mystery
Impatience: A Nova Scotia Murder Mystery
Pleasures: A Nova Scotia Murder Mystery
Surplus: A Nova Scotia Murder Mystery (Future Release)
Appearances: A Nova Scotia Murder Mystery (Future Release)
Rage: A Nova Scotia Murder Mystery (Future Release)
Honeymoon: A Nova Scotia Murder Mystery (Future Release)
Other books by Laura Stapleton
Love’s Travel
Love's Prisoner (Love's Travels: Australia)
About the Author
With an overactive imagination and a love for writing, Laura Stapleton decided to type out her daydreams and what -ifs in order to share her lovable characters and their worlds with readers. She currently lives in Kansas City with her husband, daughter, dog, and a few cats. When not at the computer, you'll find her in the park for a jog or at the yarn store's clearance section.
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