“Ava?” I started to stand. “Stay down! Get down!” he ordered with an outstretched hand.
I crawled closer. He was across an expanse—a huge hole that had burned out or had given out, one of the two. Either way, they were at the dead end of the hallway and nowhere to go, and the hole was too big to cross or jump. I looked down and saw that at least one of them had already tried to make the jump across, unsuccessfully, as I saw his twisted body at the bottom. I felt my chest convulse with a sob.
“Hey,” Seth called and beckoned my gaze to his. “Don’t look at that. Look right here.” Then he steeled himself. “What the hell are you doing here, Ava?”
I gave him a sad smile. “You know exactly what I’m doing here.”
He closed his eyes, looking so agonized in that moment. He cursed and looked at me. “Get out of here.”
“I am not leaving.”
He shook his head. “Ava Jacobson, you get the hell out of here!” he yelled. He tried to look mean, to look fierce, to look like he was angry, but all I saw was that he was scared for me. “Go! Turn around and go back the way you came as fast as you can.”
I said calmly, “I am not leaving. You know why I’m here. Tell me what to do.”
“Ava,” he growled and gripped his face, his helmet was long gone. I saw that we weren’t alone. There were two other firemen behind him, Trouble being one of them. They watched us in wonder. Wondering what in the hell I was doing there, but wanting to live more than ask questions in that moment. He looked at me once more and tried a different tactic. “Please. Please, sweetheart, go. Just—”
“Seth, what do I do?” He stared, helplessly worried about me. “Tell me what to do, baby.”
He groaned and grabbed his hair. When he looked back at me, I knew he’d given in. “Find something to go across the expanse. At least nine feet.” I nodded. “Be careful, Ava,” he ordered and I could see his fist shaking.
I turned to crawl away.
“Ava!” I looked back. “I love you.” His eyes were fierce.
He said it out loud. He could have just said it in my mind, but he chose to say it out loud.
“I love you,” I said quickly and didn’t wait to see what his face would look like. I didn’t have time to be girl and process this.
I crawled as fast as my knees would go. I was sweating in my coat, but I figured it might come in handy for some protection later if I needed it, so I kept it on. I started opening any doors that would open and the ones that wouldn’t, I bypassed for now. This was an apartment building. This place had to have a janitor’s closet or something.
When I reached the end of the hall near the hallway, I did find a janitor’s closet, but it was locked. I just knew there was something in there to help them. Had to be. I banged my fist on my head. Think, think, think. I looked down one hall and then the other. There was the old wooden staircase…
I got up on my feet and ran, ducked low. Near the staircase the fire hadn’t reached yet, but it was coming. When I got there, I kicked one of the round, solid wood slats out and ran back to the janitor’s closet with it. Crouched down as low as I could go, and still get a good swing, I banged the doorknob over and over and over again. Over and over and over. I began to cry. It wasn’t working.
I rammed it harder and harder and harder.
Sweetheart, it’s okay. Go.
I am not leaving you here! You’re crazy if you think I’m leaving you here!
I kept ramming that doorknob, feeling my guts tighten, my teeth grating with every ram, my bones and muscles hurt with every move.
Go, Ava. I want you to go. It was soft, like a plea. Please. I wish I could have stopped my heartbeat from calling you here somehow. I wish that more than anything. I prayed that it wouldn’t. I prayed so hard. Please go.
Seth, I love you, I hit it harder than I thought I was capable of, but shut up.
I raised the slat up and had had enough of the stupid doorknob. I yelled when I brought it down. And it felt different when it came down this time. I looked up and actually laughed at the hole in the door that was left behind. I wrenched it open and looked inside.
A ladder was against the back wall. I sobbed as I grabbed it and dragged it out with me. I ducked low all the way down the hall, going as fast as I could. The fire was spreading. I could feel it was hotter than before, too, than it was before. When I turned the corner to Seth, he grabbed his head. The entire ceiling was engulfed now. I went faster.
When I reached the hole, I looked to him for guidance. The others lined up next to Seth and got ready to catch the ladder.
“All right, sweetheart,” he soothed, still on his knees, as were they all, “we’ve only got one shot at this. We need to get the end across to us. So, sit on your end, and extend it as far as it will go by slowing pushing it out towards us, okay?”
I nodded and did what he said. I got up on my knees on the end of it near the end of the hole and started extending it. Please reach, please reach, please reach, I prayed.
Seth kept looking between me and the ladder. When he saw that the ladder was going to reach him, he shook his head just as the other two guys starting laughing and thanking God.
“You’re an angel,” Trouble said as Seth reached out and took his end of the ladder.
Seth looked at me and said, “She’s in trouble.”
“No,” he said and glared at him. “Leave her alone. Trouble’s my name. Now go.”
“No, you go. I was the lead. I’m last.”
“No—”
“Landon, go,” he growled. “Get your rookie butt across that ladder. You’re wasting time.”
He sighed, but went, crawling over Seth’s hands to the ladder rungs over the hole. He went slow but steady. Seth’s eyes stayed on mine the entire time over Trouble’s head. I just wanted him there, I just wanted to touch him, I just wanted him safe. It felt like the blink of an eye and Trouble was right in front of me, crawling over my hands. I held the ladder so tight, so scared to let go.
“Let me, darlin’,” he urged and I scooted out of the way. He took over the ladder holding and yelled, “Let’s go!”
The next guy came over. I didn’t know his name. I knelt and leaned my back on the wall so I could see. My heart was beating so fast. I tried to calm down so Seth could focus. The other guy made it over and scooted out of the way behind us. I was physically ill with worry as I watched Seth climb on that ladder with one knee. He looked at me before he moved any further.
Everything is fine, sweetheart. I’ve done this a million times.
I huffed. Really? This?
He had the audacity to smile. Maybe not this exactly.
Just make it across that ladder.
Seth took a breath, looking up and down once before he started across. I couldn’t have torn my eyes away if I wanted to. When he’d made it about five crawls, the ladder shifted some because there was no one holding the other side. I thought my heart was going to burst as I watched him. My breath stopped. He couldn’t look back, he had to trust his guys to tell him to keep going. That was all he could do anyway. A couple more crawls and it shifted again. I couldn’t stop my whimper. I was helpless. Completely helpless. A few more crawls and he was grabbing Trouble’s arm so they could pull him in.
I didn’t believe it was real until he crawled straight over to me, soot on his face, his gear still on from the neck down, and kissed me so hard, right there on our knees against that wall. We both groaned loudly—so loudly. Not only were we in the grip of withdrawals, but we’d just been to hell and back—literally.
Then he pulled back and started to unzip my jacket in a frenzy. I wondered why. He tossed it aside before undoing his own. I got it then. “No. What about you?”
“I’m fine. Don’t,” he said harder when I went to protest. “Your jacket’s flammable. You don’t have anything on to protect you. You can at least have half of a protective suit.”
I nodded and let him put it on me. He was raw. He was angry. He was scared.
When I looked down the smoke-filled hall I got it completely. This was far from over.
The two others were already down the hall, looking for the best way out. He cupped my face, bringing me around to look back at him.
“Stay with me, right with me. Don’t look at the fire. Don’t even think about it. It’s going to be worse than when you came in. We may have to fight our way out, but we are getting out.”
I nodded since he seemed to be waiting for me. I couldn’t stop shaking. I was scared—for him, for me, for us, for the guys down there, for how we were going to explain how I just showed up here and knew where to find him, and I was scared of us not making it out at all and it all being in vain.
He shook his head and kissed my forehead quickly. “We are getting out of here, little bird. Let’s go. Stay low.”
I knew he wanted to sit there and soothe me, but couldn’t. I just wanted to get out of there.
I followed right behind him and we reached the others quickly. For a second, I thought they might have been leaving, but they were just scoping which way to go. They still had their masks on, so their voices were a little muffled.
“Which way did you come?”
“Around two more corners,” I told them. “And then down three flights, out the side door.”
His eyebrows rose. “You actually remember exactly? You weren’t just…” He looked at Seth and back to me, “looking for us?”
“Landon, let’s go,” Seth ordered. “We’ll see if that way is still clear.”
“This stairwell doesn’t look too bad,” the other guy nodded his head toward a door and said. “I think we should go for the quickest route to us.”
Seth debated, but I didn’t care. It wasn’t about picking that guy over me. “Doesn’t matter. I just want out. Go.” I pushed his back.
“Lead the way, rookie,” he ordered and we followed. He opened the door and we all stood and started to descend the steps.
I thought we were home free until we reached the next floor and they went to open the door.
“Wait!” Trouble told the other guy. “Rookie, come on.” He pointed to the smoke coming out of the bottom of the door.
“You’re a rookie, too, Landon,” he grumbled back and pushed him as he turned around and went the other way.
“But I’m not making rookie mistakes.”
“All right, you two,” Seth groaned and he put me in front of him, the guys making a wall of protection around me as we trekked back up the stairs.
It was hard to see in the dark halls. The only light in the place was the orange glow from the fire above or the emergency lights that were few and far between that barely worked in the old building. Landon lead, his small hatchet in his hand. The smoke was getting worse. I tried not to cough. I didn’t want Seth to worry about me, but I was beginning to not to be able to hold back and hide it anymore. And he couldn’t either. The other guys had helmets on. I didn’t know why he had taken his off or where, but he was starting to cough a little, too.
I pulled my shirt over my nose and mouth again and tried to not think about it.
When we got back up to the floor and turned the corner, the entire ceiling was ablaze. I gasped and leaned back into Seth. I shook my head. Now that I didn’t have a purpose driving me, I was just scared.
He pressed his mouth to my ear. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” He moved me until I was behind him. “Look in my eyes.” I could feel the heat around us, see the orange haze all around him, but the blue of his eyes took precedence over everything else. I took a deep breath. “That’s right. I’ll need my hands, so I want you to hold on to my suspenders and don’t let go for anything. You just look at my back and don’t worry about what’s going on around us. We’ll get out here. Ava,” he said harder. I nodded, figuring that was what he wanted.
“We’ll get out of here,” I repeated. “I’ll hold your suspenders. I won’t look.” I coughed, my eyes burning. I refused to say ‘I love you’ again, because then it would just feel like a goodbye.
“You’re daggum right it’s not goodbye. Let’s go, little bird. Hold on tight and stay low.” He swiped my chin with his thumb, feeling bad that he was being so gruff with me, but not having a choice in the moment.
What he didn’t understand was that fireman Seth, commanding, demanding, gruff and rough, Seth? He was so sexy. Knowing that this side of Seth existed and could come to the surface if the situation called for it was pretty hot.
Though my brain was scrambled and I could barely think, even I could comprehend that right now—I was going to have fun with fireman Seth in the future.
I took hold of his suspenders like he told me to and looked at his back.
Just keep your eyes on my back. I’ll guide us out of here.
I did as he said and could see and feel the orange and black and red in my peripheral. The hall was so dark now except for the fire; the emergency lights completely gone.
I could hear them yelling about something ahead, but couldn’t make it out as we turned the last corner. We saw the water pouring in from the ceiling near the end of the hall and heard a loud banging.
“They’re coming in!” Trouble yelled. “Back-up must be here finally.”
“Let’s go!” Seth said and tugged me to follow him down the stairs. Trouble came up the rear and the other guy went ahead. In the stairwell, the creaking and banging and loud noises were awful sounding. I covered my ears, but couldn’t hang on to Seth, so I just dealt with it.
“Stairs are coming down!” the other guy yelled from the bottom. “Go, go!”
Seth picked up the pace, reaching for my hand. When we reached the second floor, the fire was engulfing the walkway to get to the other side. It was a really old building. The steps were wooden, like tinder on a bonfire.
“Damn,” Seth growled. We watched as Trouble jumped and ran through it.
“Let’s go,” he said and Seth apparently knew what he meant. He looked at me and I got it. We had to go through it, too. I gritted my teeth and tried to be brave. I’d made it this far.
He cupped my cheek. You are brave. I just need you to keep being brave for a few more minutes. I nodded. We’re going to jump on three, okay? I nodded again. One, two…
I didn’t think. When I felt him tug me, I just closed my eyes, gripped his arm, ran and jumped with everything I had. When I jumped, he lifted my feet way off the floor, but I didn’t think about it. I didn’t look back. I just looked at Seth to make sure he was okay once we landed. Seeing that he was, I looked at his face to see what was next.
“Let’s go!” the guy yelled from the next floor. “All clear.”
We started to go and meet him, but the smoke was awful. Seth pulled the jacket I was wearing over my head and face and helped me walk down the last flight of stairs. When I hear the door slam open, I knew it was over.
I pulled the jacket off my head as we emerged from the door, coughing and looking a mess I’m sure, and accepted Seth’s arms around me as he lifted my feet from the ground, pressing his face into my neck. He walked with us and pushed through the shrubs to an empty parking lot on the other side so no one would walk by and see us.
Trouble and the other guy followed us and took their helmets and masks off and just stood there.
I glanced over at them and the one I didn’t know the name of was looking at me funny. When he saw me catch him looking, he looked away. I got it. I was a freak now. I’m sure they were grateful to be alive, but now that it was over, the thrill was no longer in their veins and they wanted answers.
I leaned back a little and had one thought and one thought only.
What the hell do we do now?
Thirteen
I’ll think of something. I’ll tell them I texted you and told you where to come.
My Seth. Already trying to shoulder the blame. He wasn’t going to be able to save me on this one.
They saw how angry you were about me coming. They knew you didn’t send for
me.
I wasn’t angry; I was worried.
I didn’t argue with him—though he had definitely been angry. He put me down, but continued to look at me, holding me against him. I knew better than to try to move away, not that I wanted to, but this was serious. We almost died and our significant bodies were not going to let us be apart for a while.
But as I thought that, he was thinking that I needed to get away from there.
His grip became painfully tight on me as he felt my heart spike. “Seth,” I begged.
Right now, it’s only these two. I’ll…figure something out with them.
I saw your chief. Or he saw me. He told me you were inside and had lost radio contact.
Ava… He sighed and laid his forehead to mine. He lifted his head. Doesn’t matter. I’ll handle it. I know it hurts to leave, but you need to go. He can’t know you went in there. It’ll be bad for you. I have to protect you—
“Uh…Seth, buddy.”
We both looked at Trouble and seemed to remember they were there. Seth moved to put himself in front of me a little and I felt my breaths rushing in and out.
“Guys,” he began, but they didn’t let him get very far.
“You’re talking to her, aren’t you?” the one I didn’t know asked. “It seemed so strange when you were on the ladder. You were just staring at each other, not moving, and then you smiled, and just now, you were doing it again. If you had told me four hours ago that this was possible, I would have told you to you’ve been kicked in the head too many times. But now…I’m alive because of whatever this is.” He flung his hand at me.
Seth rubbed his head. “Gibson, listen.”
“She came here to a fire that she had no idea where she was going and had no business being at. She came inside, went up three flights of stairs, and found you. She went right to you.” He stared Seth down. “How are you really going to explain that away, Seth?” I couldn’t see his face, but I could feel him shaking. Gibson came towards us and Seth moved to block him. “Come on, man. Move,” he said softly.