Yossef came before the sun was low in the sky. He brought clean rich linen. He did what he’d promised Yeshua he would do and it was his tears that mixed with the water as he cleaned the wounds and we took Yeshua’s body away.
“What did you say to be granted the rights to his body?” I asked as we walked.
“I told Pilate that no descendant of the line of Nathan, son of David would lie in the grave of common criminals.”
“And he conceded that easily?”
“No. It took stern words. But the wrath of The Father was evident when the sky went black and the earth shook. He knew what he had done this day. He did not wish to see what might happen if he refused to show mercy to the elder of the family line.”
“Thank you for risking yourself for him, Yossef.”
“Pilate shook with fear when I approached him. He had not wanted such an ending for Yeshua. He’d offered to free one prisoner, offering up the most loathsome along side Yeshua thinking to sway the people in their judgment, but to no avail. He will be forever reviled, but he whispered prayers of repentance when no one but I could hear him. And he granted my request with eyes that begged for forgiveness. Yeshua would want me to forgive him and yet, I still feel anger in my heart.”
I laid my hand upon Yossef’s heart. I felt the strong, slow rhythm. “Perhaps it is not anger, but grief. The council did many things to bring this ending. You could not have stopped it, but you have given him a proper place to rest.”
“You do not despise me for not acknowledging my support?”
“No. The Father told me, as did Yeshua, that I must trust you. That my road is to walk beside you for a while.”
“I would be grateful for the company of one so beloved, Meiri.”
We laid him in the tomb.
I kissed his cheek one last time.
The stone was rolled into place.
Eser:
I sat beside the stone all day. The sun approached the horizon and I knew in my heart I was hoping to hear his voice raised with mine, but it was not there. Yossef came at dusk and convinced me to return to his home. He gave me bread and meat, but I had no appetite. He kissed my hand and said his home was my home, but I knew in my heart that my home, the only home I had ever known was lying in a tomb.
Day broke and I returned to that same place beside the stone.
And I sat until the angels sang and Yossef came.
But the third day, I began my walk feeling weakened. The loss was a heavy burden, which I bore alone, because no one loved him as I loved him. I lifted my eyes, to see the place of the stone. It was gone.
Vandals! No! I could not bear it if they degraded his resting place!
I ran.
There were two figures standing at the entrance. They seemed to glow with the Glory of Heaven. They bowed their heads to me. “Blessed Sister, rejoice! The Son is risen!” Their voices were song.
Almighty Angels came to give me the news that Yeshua had returned as he promised.
“Go!” they told me, “you must spread the word, Beloved One.”
“Where has he gone?” I cried out. But in that instant they were gone.
I began to run. I did not even know where I was going for the tears that filled my eyes and ran down my cheeks. I ran toward the road, I would go to the Disciples and tell them what the angels told me. I would search the length and breath of Jerusalem for him. I would search the world over. My distraction was so great I did not notice what was right beside me.
“The whole world?” he asked as he tilted his head and looked at me.
I stopped in my tracks when I heard his voice and then I dropped to my knees and wept.
He was there beside me, he was risen, but not as I expected. He was not a man, flesh and
blood, as Lazarus was when Yeshua restored him. No, he was what The Father was when he sat beside me the night the soldiers took Yeshua away.
“Meiri, do not weep, My Love,” he said as he lifted me. He pressed his hand to my cheek and I could feel it there, but it was not warm. I could see the damage done by the soldiers. The wounds would never heal because he was the living soul of The Chosen One, but he was beyond what was mortal. He was beyond what was warm flesh and a beating heart. When the sun touched the horizon, he would sing, but his voice would be with the angels, not with mine.
I pressed my hands to my heart. As surely as I was a woman, I felt the beating of two hearts within me.
He placed his hand over mine, kissed my lips softly and whispered, “keep it safe, Migdala. Love me as you have loved me before and there will be happiness. I promise you.”
“I will never stop loving you, Yeshua. Never.”
“There is a task I need to ask of you. I need you to bring tidings to the Disciples and tell them of my return. Tell them that the angels greeted you and that we have walked together.”
“Why do you not go to them?”
He smiled. He began to laugh a little.
That sound of sweet innocence filled my soul with joy and lifted my heart.
“The one who loved me above all else should tell them. They will know what the lesson is. They will know that the one they thought less important, the one they shut out, was exalted by the angels and The Father himself. They will know that the one who never wavered was rewarded. The one that was last in the eyes of men shall always be first in my eyes. Can you find the strength to bring them the news?”
“Yes, Dodi.”
There was not more to say. We walked along for a moment, but then he was gone.
I walked alone. Wondering what I would say to Yochanan, while knowing that my joy at Yeshua’s fulfillment of the prophesies was tainted with new grief that there would not be nights of lying at his side, whispering together into the early hours of the new day. We would not walk the road hand in hand.
I pushed open the door without the courtesy of knocking. I have no reason as to why, I simply did and I strode into the room.
Yochanan stood. He looked at me as though he were seeing something he had never seen before. He crossed the room swiftly and took his knee before me.
“Blessed One,” he started, “what news do you bring?”
Yakov and Shimon came as well.
My voice was strong. I gave them the message the angels had given me. I told them I saw Yeshua. I spoke to him.
“Why does he not come to us?” others asked.
Yochanan silenced them. He has honored her, most deservedly. She was the most beloved, and each of you knows that to be true. That is why you envied her. She was the most devoted, the most faithful. She walked beside him when we cowered. She upheld him when we denied. Her love never faltered. Holy Sister, forgive me,” he finished as he kissed my hand.
“You needn’t ask my forgiveness. You need to carry on. You need to complete the task he gathered you for. The Chosen One is risen. Carry his words to the world.”
“Will you remain with us?”
“No. It is with Yossef that I must remain. I do not know where the road will take me, only that it is upon his road that The Father has set me.”
“Do you know where we are to meet Yeshua?”
I did not know the answer to his question, but the heart within me did and my voice told them it was Gat-smanim.
~ ~
Each day I visited the tomb.
I sat alone beside the rock. The days were growing warmer but still I was cold. His visits were few and many times my only glimpses of him were from afar.
Many days passed in solitude.
At last, the day came when Yossef walked out and sat beside me. “You should try to see him today, Meiri, I have heard tomorrow is the day...”
“Yes, I have heard that as well. It is a strange thing, Yossef. I stayed with him and saw the breath leave him, but I was firm in my belief that he would return. Now he will go on and I am not sure I can watch him leave me forever. It is not because I doubt his mes
sage. I fear my grief. I fear showing that grief at a moment when there should be rejoicing.”
“You know I have been putting off my trip these past weeks, but I think maybe it is time for us to leave. The morning after next we should start out. Perhaps the road will lift your spirit.”
“Perhaps,” I answered half-heartedly.
He left me then, but I was not alone for long.
“I miss the nights, Dodi,” I said softly as he stood with his head tilted and those brown eyes looking at me.
“I miss them too, My Light. Do not fear tomorrow. And do not grieve. This is not an ending, but a beginning. I am waiting for you.”
“And I for you.”
The next day I watched his spirit ascend into the heavens.
Angels sang.
The people dropped to their knees and prayed, while I stood with my arms raised silently begging to go with him.
Ahat ‘esre:
It was many days travel to Glastonbury. Yossef walked briskly for his age. He was very much different from my original impression of him. How I ever feared this man with his kind eyes, gentle soul and deep voice I did not know.
He knew many people in every town along our route. He’d traveled this way many, many times. He took great pleasure in seeing friendly faces, speaking to people and introducing me to them as well. He even told me that he’d traveled this same road with Yeshua when he was little more than a boy. The memories must have been sweet ones, for his spirits were high just thinking about those times.
The days should have been quite hot, but we traveled north and the weather seemed to grow cooler and wetter each day. Some days we had to ride in the wagons, other days we were forced to stop and wait for the weather to clear. And always I was waiting for something I could not put my finger on. I had not felt so lost since the day Yeshua found me, back when I was dirty and riddled with demons. He came like the sunshine and warmed me. Now I was cold upon the road and I kept longing for that feeling again, that warmth upon my shoulders. But there was none.
No man could fill his place; nothing could fill his place.
Sometimes I felt the beating heart within me race when I knew my own feelings were serene and dull. I imagined that he was watching over me in those moments. Alas, even imagination was bittersweet.
The trip took forty-three days. Yossef was pleased to have made the journey so quickly. I must have walked upon a cloud because I could not recall that number of days or nights passing. It seemed all one long event in my mind. Perhaps I just could not assign a number to my days alone. And such a big number it was.
Our arrival was a celebration I did not anticipate. Oh, how the people of Glastonbury spoke of Yeshua with such joy! I did not know how so many from so far away could know him, could know his mission. I found solace in the presence of those who upheld him. Many days we stayed, with each day more people came to us. They wished to hear my tale. I told them all I could, but his deepest feelings were mine to protect. I told them stories he would tell the children. I told them about the angels. Every word I said to them they took into their hearts and asked me for more. Almost I wished to stay among these people who loved him.
Almost.
The nights changed my mind. I could not say if it was just dreaming in this place that was Holy, this place that had faith beyond what the people of our home land had, but I could hear Yeshua whispering to me in the night. It was as clear as if he’d been lying beside me. ‘Meiri, giver of light, I am waiting for you. Return to me.’
Each night, the same words came to me. Though my arms were empty, I could feel him. I grew restless and confused. How could I return to one who was gone from the world of men? Were my days coming to an end? I did not fear my end, I longed for it. I longed for that reunion above all else. I simply did not know how to answer his calls.
Yossef seemed to grow more peaceful as my anxiety took over me
Then abruptly, one morning, he woke and told me he must leave. He asked if I wished to stay at Glastonbury or accompany him, and again, my heart answered the words that came from my mouth: ‘Do you go to Marseille?’
“Yes.”
“That is where I must go, Yossef.”
Shteim ‘esre:
We did not move with the haste that I wished for.
I knew Yossef was not a young man. I also knew he was traveling faster than he was comfortable with because we both felt some pull to reach this destination. Still, his haste was not as hasty as mine.
I felt like I was going to meet my end and yet, I was eager.
It was a strange thing, to love. Remarkable and frightening in the hold it had over me.
I grew to womanhood without feeling, but Yeshua changed me, to such an extent that I would embrace death to return to his side. Sleep became elusive the closer we came to our destination, and the whispered words vanished as well. The one thing I had, I always had, to hold on to was the song of the angels as they sang their thanks for the day and the sun went to its rest. We stopped each night at that moment. I listened. Some days when I could find my voice, I sang. Then we broke bread and made plans for the next day.
The sun shone in a clear blue sky as we approached Marseille. Would that I could have enjoyed the beauty of the sight, but I was agitated. My eyes searched for some elusive sign of what was to come. My heart pounded in my breast.
We walked along side the caravan toward the market.
The road was busy.
The smell of fresh bread was heavy in the air.
“Meiri, we are fortunate! We have arrived early. The bread will be fresh. We should break our fast,” Yossef said happily.
I nodded and he directed the wagons to continue as we walked away.
I almost did not notice the feeling.
Warmth like sunshine upon my shoulders was almost imperceptible on such a day, but it was more than just the warmth. I felt him.
I stopped where I stood.
I turned slowly. The crowd seemed to vanish before my eyes until only one man remained. He sat alone at the side of the road. He tilted his head when he looked at me. The sun seemed to shine down upon him. I met his eyes boldly and he smiled while I stood staring. He was more beautiful to my eyes than any sight had ever been.
He rose and came to me. “A woman’s heart is the most perfect creation. It holds true to love even when there is so little to hope for. And her eyes are the gate to that paradise within her,” he whispered as he took my hands in his, lifted them to his lips and kissed them softly.
His hands were badly scarred.
His brown eyes were as clear as the night sky.
“Dodi? How can this be?”
“As it was for Lazarus, Meiri. The Angels brought me here. Healing was so slow. I longed for you every day we were apart.”
“But I saw you there. I watched as you ascended...”
“Yes. But the part of me that was there was only what they needed to see. They needed to see the part that was eternal. I could not go back to them as a man. But you loved the man. You were my fortress, the walls that kept my heart alive and for you I can be a man.”
“You came back for me?”
“I promised you a beginning, My Love.”
“How long will you stay?” I asked as tears fell from my eyes.
“Until the day The Father brings us both home to him.”
And he kissed me. He kissed me as he had always done. We were one. We walked from that road together and off into the world where Yeshua and Meiri were simply two people in love.
Because love was his gift to the world.
* * *
I looked at her for a long time when she finished. I got what she was telling me. She
thought she was flawed. I thought the same thing of myself in each of my stories. Vatsya thought his work made him unworthy. Jonas couldn’t make a connection. Zal was cursed and abandoned. Liam was self-centered. Sebastien was afra
id to hope. Every story was flawed with human nature. She wanted simply to love me and for me to love her in return, wealth and luxuries didn’t matter, just that I accept who she was.
But I loved her for who she was, exactly as she was.
For me she was every woman, all of them, a beautiful package that housed a beautiful soul and the heart I wanted mine to beat beside for a lifetime.
“You haven’t said anything,” she whispered.
“That was the perfect story. Pure love without judgment, without doubt. You are my Meiri, right here, and there,” I said pointing at the sky. “You are every light, in every one of my lives.”
A tear rolled down her cheek, though she was smiling at me. “I love you.”
_____________________
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