Future society had discarded of money as currency. Instead capitalism was fuelled by envy. As part of the stream of data that made up your electronic self a byte resided within; its purpose being to monitor how envious you felt of others look and lifestyle whilst also accumulating the ratings others awarded you. A collective envy rating would be assigned to your identity. Your ability to purchase the goods the future offered relied entirely on this number.
Of course such a system perpetuated the spiral of worth, whichever direction you were heading in. For those that could afford the lavish extras of existence their rating would steadily increase, giving them access to bigger and better goods which in turn made others envy them more, increasing their rating further and allowed them access to even bigger and better items, and so on and so on. The same occurred for those that could afford little. Their worth would plummet.
Rock stars and musicians were beyond measurement in terms of envy hence music had become free to everybody. Any song you thought of would be instantly played out in your mind. Brick was unaware of this and continued to believe his ability to remember every lyric from every song, in perfect digital quality, was a by-product of his true potential coming out in his electronic persona. He'd been tapping his feet along to the latest tune whilst thoroughly enjoying the home furnishing dept of the multi-store he and Spiritwind had discovered; however after stumbling upon the television floor all thoughts of music had ceased.
The television had long since disappeared in any recognisable format. It existed as a small pebble that fired the images directly into your mind. You could choose to see the images in any number of ways, from the very first five inch, grainy black and white screens to perfect cinema size with accompanying sound and clarity options. Brick and Spiritwind had settled on total immersion: it places the viewer within the programme as an inconsequential bystander who could affect nothing they saw. Brick and Spiritwind were watching a bank heist movie but had become distracted by an alleyway across the road from the premises. They were currently stalking a pigeon for no reason other than they could. Their wanderings were interrupted by a three piece, velvet suited man with top hat, cane, and hair down to his waist.
“Excuse me gentlemen. You have spent a good hour perusing these goods. May I ask if you wish to purchase them?”
“You’re not part of the film are you?” Spiritwind turned to face the shop assistant.
“Of course not, I am the salesman within the store you are frequenting.” The assistant battled with required politeness.
“Did that pigeon just speak? I knew he was a plot device and not just an extra.” Brick looked towards Spiritwind giddily, before seeing the salesman and instantly calming down. He covered his excitement with a question rather than an introduction. “That was you wasn’t it?”
“Yes sir it was. Now about these goods and your desire to purchase them?” Patience was not forthcoming.
“We still need a little thinking time.” Brick winked his intelligent attempt at seeing the whole film. Unfortunately his wink went askew and hit the patronising smile of the salesman instead. The velvet covered man knew what they were up to.
“Without wishing to appear rude gentlemen I suspect you are not in a position to purchase these goods and must subject you to an envy reading.” The movie setting disappeared. The trio were surrounded by store once more. Spiritwind found himself sat in the buoyancy chair he’d been testing: it suspended your weight in the air as though lay in extremely salty water.
“What happens if we don’t have a clue what you’re talking about?” Brick had been immersed into the film in a standing position. He used it to argue a point he didn’t understand.
“I suspect that would be the case whatever the topic of discussion.” The assistant waved the end of his cane at the duo and read the top of the silver ball that adorned it. A smug grin preceded the result he read. “As I suspected. I have been in sales long enough to know a person's envy rating just by looking at them, and again my ability is proved true.” Brick and Spiritwind didn’t know what he was talking about but they hoped he’d get to the point sometime soon. “Gentlemen your rating is incredibly low. You can afford nothing within this dept that would make my envy commission worth the effort of selling it to you. I must ask you to leave.”
“If I knew what you were talking about I’d be tempted to argue back. Just you be aware of that.” Brick made his point as Spiritwind flounced his way out of his chair. “So which dept would we be able to afford something in?”
“Try the pet floor. You may be able to afford a hummingbird of some variety.” The disdain in the salesman's voice was both excessive and unwarranted. Brick had thought of a criticism to aim at the assistant and fired a parting comment.
“You do know the cane is a practical walking aid? Your use of it as a fashion item is merely mocking the afflicted, although I do like the hat.” The rebuke was nullified by the compliment.
Spiritwind ushered Brick from the area and up the three flights of stairs that led to the pet floor. Mumbled rebukes concerning such treatment filled the gap conversation normally occupied. Upon reaching the door to their desired floor they swung it open and stepped back in awe of what lay before them.
An African plain swept out before them, only in miniature form and inhabited by equally miniature animals. Herds of elephants no bigger than five inches high trundled across while two inch lions lazed under the sparse trees. Jungles lay off in the distance, an ocean beyond that. Had a sales assistant not arrived they could have stayed entranced for an age.
“Morning. Feel free to strap yourselves in and take a look around.”
“Huh.” Brick didn’t even turn to face her. He was too engrossed by the flock of flamingos taking off and re-landing.
“The harnesses behind you. Put one on and you can explore to your heart's content. I’ll be over the ocean following the dolphins if you need me.” The assistant sailed away. She was strapped into a harness that held her horizontal to the ground. Allowing movement in any direction she skimmed around two feet from the plain in a Superman style pose. As she crossed the duo’s eye-line they snapped out of their trance.
“Harness?” Spiritwind turned to Brick with an open palm, suggesting exploration.
“You say that as though you expect anything but yes.”
Taking the next two harnesses from a line of plenty, the pair stepped in and secured themselves. They hung from the ceiling by a clever series of pulleys. Once Brick had untangled his hair and half his cardigan from the ropes, they both leant forward allowing the straps to take their weight. They found the controls easy to grasp. Intention and the resulting shift in body weight were enough to power them wherever they chose.
Splitting up Spiritwind began by following a herd of Wildebeest. Watching their migration across the Savannah, fending off attacks from all they came across.
Meanwhile Brick settled on a watering hole, observing in gruesome curiosity as three inch crocodiles awaited their next victims. After debating whether or not to help an entangled zebra he decided he enjoyed having tips to all his fingers and left. The upsetting nature of nature had begun to taint the wonder, plus a circle of Vultures had formed around his head. When one perched on his nose he felt it was time to move along. Aiming for the jungle Brick found a group of Chimpanzees to follow, and after drifting into three separate swarms of insects, all of which bit, he began paying attention to the path he took.
After a while Spiritwind had seen enough of the Wildebeest’s travelling buffet and headed to the ocean where he found a foot-long Blue Whale. When it submerged he satisfied himself with dolphins who beckoned him down with back-flips and cries of jubilation. The Great White Shark in the distance dared the same action, only with the promise of menace.
The pair spent several hours lost in wonder, eating up the time they had to waste before meeting back with the crew. It was only when they bumped in to each other they were reminded of the mission they were on, and hea
ded back towards the door slowly.
“I wouldn’t mind a Giraffe to take back with me.” Brick made his desire known.
“A Giraffe? Why a Giraffe when you could have a comedy Chimp?”
“I like the idea of being sat in me chair and a little Giraffe strolling past.”
“I suppose there is that, but you could teach a Chimp tricks. How impressed would people be if you had a monkey on your shoulder cracking your pistachios open?”
“You’d let a Chimp feed you? They’re not the most hygienic animal you know.” Brick pointed out the obvious flaw to the idea.
“I’d make him wash his hands first. He could even have a little towel draped over his arm to wipe up after each one.”
“Well imagine my Giraffe in the pub.” Brick struggled to justify his statement. Spiritwind helped him out.
“He could reach high places and chew funny?”
“Exactly. Women love animals that chew funny and reach high places.” Brick was satisfied with the attributes on offer.
“They do.” Spiritwind allowed the pause to build before pointing out the obvious. “Of course six inches isn’t that high to a five and a half foot woman.”
“I’m acutely aware of that fact. If we could just move on.”
The assistant re-appeared, gliding effortlessly next to them and offering un-intrusive sales patter. "Anything you like?"
“Indeed I do.” Brick used his flirting voice. Spiritwind stepped in before he could embarrass himself.
“If we bought an animal and then returned to the real, real world would we still have it?”
“Why would you want to return to the real, real world?” She was puzzled by the thought.
“Why would you not?” Spiritwind countered with the same question.
“I’ve never really thought about it like that.” She smiled a vacuous smile that could have accompanied any string of words she’d ever uttered. “To answer your question, no. Everything here is only a sequence of data. If you take away the framework that allows the data to run then it will not exist.” The smile continued.
“Sorry you didn’t see anything you wanted. Have a fun lifetime.” She sailed away, back towards the ocean. Brick watched on longingly.
“But I have seen something I like.” Life would never know if Brick's feeble chat up line would have sunk the lovely assistant, but most people could make a fairly accurate guess.
Reaching the harness area, the duo eventually untangled themselves and left. Reaching the ground floor they found locating the exit impossible and were quickly trapped amongst the endless perfume stands. Four rebukes and plenty of funny looks later, they were back outside and at the meeting point. They could see Bettina and Dandara chatting their way back, Jam remained absent. Brick took a cursory glance towards the dog grooming parlour.
“Either there’s a breed of dog evolved to look exactly like Jam or he’s sat in the dog shop.” Brick wandered over as Jam took another swig from his hip flask.
The native Earthling opened the door and confirmed it was Mr Shandy. “Jam. What are you doing in here?”
“Ah, fellow. We know each other don’t we? There’s a Rottweiler about to get a perm. I’m very interested to see the result.” Jam gestured to the seat next to him. “Join us. This is Annie Whatsoever. She’s been telling me of all the uses for dog hair. She plans to revolutionise the fabric industry with what she knows.” Annie nodded and added her own welcome to entice Brick in. Her jumper suggested one of her uses was already in practice.
“A Rottweiler getting a perm? That does sound interesting.” Brick stepped inside as Spiritwind tried to whistle to announce the girls' arriving. Realising he couldn’t control the sounds that came from his lips, Spiritwind jogged over and knocked on the window instead. He was instantly transfixed by the room.
“Actually Jam we should probably get going. Don’t want to irk the ladies.”
“Okay then. Annie, all my fortune goes with you on your quest for world domination. And Mr Rottweiler, good luck on the streets sporting such a look.” Jam waved goodbye to the room, the room wondered who he was but felt it was best he left anyway. Brick spoke as they wandered back to the female portion of the gang.
“You do know that wasn’t the pub?”
“Of course. I had to leave the pub after a while, was getting me down.”
“Welcome gentlemen.” Dandara used a simple tone that both presumed and mocked them for wasting their time in the future world. “Do we have any news that will further our quest?” She awaited a response amidst a plethora of shopping bags.
“I see you had no trouble buying things.” Brick wondered if there was a pebble telly anywhere amongst the clothes.
“Apparently on this world our exotic look makes us quite wealthy. Love that envy system they use.”
“Did you manage to buy any answers?” Brick wished to avoid any talk of envy ratings.
“Not unless the answers lie in a halter neck sweater with matching skirt.” Dandara and Bettina high fived with their eyes. Brick turned to Jam instead.
“Sorry Jam. You were telling me why you left the pub.”
“Was I? What did I say the reason was?”
“I don’t know. You hadn’t got that far.”
“That’s a shame. I’ll bet it was a good story. Hold on, something’s coming back to me.” The tension was entirely bearable. “I remember. It’s not that good a story actually.”
“Well you may as well tell it. It’s had the build up now.” Brick wanted to discuss anything other than the girl's shopping success.
“If you insist. Everybody was getting me down. They were all so depressed and unmotivated. Saw only the futility in everything. Asked one fella which beer he’d recommend and he told me they were all rubbish. Then he started going on about the constant oppressive feeling in the air, as though their very motivation was being crushed by a downward wave of apathy. It was only when I asked for a pint of 'crushing downward wave of apathy' that I realised he wasn’t even talking about beer. Not to worry. I had a few shots instead, but that didn’t stop him. Said they’d hidden in this pretend world to escape the apathy that rained down on them outside but it had followed them in. There’s already talk of building another world within this one. Sounds like one of those big dolls with little ones inside it if you ask me, and no good ever came from them. In the end I gave up and went and sat with the dogs. Dogs don’t care about waves of apathy. As long as they’re getting fed you can do what you like.” Everyone stared at Jam.
“Why are you all looking at me? Have I got a beer moustache? I thought I’d been drinking shots.”
“We’re looking at you because that’s exactly the kind of thing we’ve been looking for.” Brick spoke for the others.
“What? A beer moustache is the answer to saving the universe? These heroics never cease to amaze me.”
Brick ignored Jam’s last comment and ran with the knowledge. “Whoever’s flooding the universe with apathy is using more than just comfy seating. They’re applying the classic two pronged attack. They’re flooding the Earth from ground level and bombarding it from above. We need to find where it’s coming from.”
“And so we shall.” Dandara wanted to get in on the proclamations. “The hero code states we should leave with urgency to our next destination. There we will discover the answer to the question we have asked. From here on in the adventure should begin to pick up pace until the inevitable success.” She looked at Brick with a blend of jealousy, appreciation, and irritation.
“So how do we get out of here?” Brick’s question was enough to allow irritation to win through.
“If you’d read the manual you’d know this.”
“As part of a team I’m happy to allow the information to be held by only a few of our members.”
“What if something had happened to us?”
“You were shopping.” Brick’s irritation levels pushed all Dandara's brief positive emotions about him to one side.
&n
bsp; “That’s not the point.”
“If something had happened then our ability to improvise would have found a solution.”
“So why not improvise now?” Dandara folded her arms in defiance.
“It’s not a tap you can turn on and off. It only surfaces with genuine need. As you are here and know the answer it won’t come out.” It was a stalemate. Dandara chose to ignore Brick and focused on instructing the rest of the group.
“You have to close your eyes and truly embrace the reality that none of this is real…..” Jam disappeared instantly. His grasp on reality was already weak enough. “Focus every sense on the truth that nothing around you truly exists, it is merely your senses being manipulated to believe it does. Remember what is true, the world we left, and you will be there.”
One by one the heroes left the chrome street until only Brick remained. Something niggled at the back of his mind causing him to open one eye. Spotting a commotion in the dog parlour he peered to see a flurry of fur, combs and panicking ladies. His curiosity was satisfied as he disappeared with one last thought: ‘If a Rottweiler was meant to have curls it would be brought up on a diet of bread crusts’.
It was a wisdom the unfolding adventure couldn't do without.