“Here, let me.” Taddy came up behind her, “No Photoshop needed on these pictures today, baby cakes. You are the prettiest bride. I know Eddie is looking down on us, too. I can feel his presence.”
Never had Lex heard her say that before about her dad.
Birdie nodded in agreement, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Your father is here, in spirit. I’ve been talking to him all day. He’s as proud of you as I am.”
“Oh, mom…”
“Guys, come close. Group hug.” Birdie grabbed onto their hands as the music outside changed songs. She recited a quick prayer. Then they filed in line with Miguel and Warner who waited out in the hall.
Alone, Lex stood with Blake. “Thank you for giving me away.” He’d been so quiet the last half-hour she had no idea what had gotten into him. She straightened his bowtie. “Are you okay?”
“That Rocco guy creeps me out.” Blake’s handsome face flushed.
“Rocco, Luigi, and Jemma have been a throuple for a few years now. She loves them, so be nice. Tell Thor the same. I know you two get snotty around bisexual men.”
He bit his lip as if holding back criticism. “Lex, before I give you away I’d like to ask you one question. I promise I’ll keep it between us.”
“Shoot.” She entertained him.
“Why Massimo?”
“Ahhh. You mean why am I marrying him out of all the thousands of men who threw themselves at my feet?” Actually, she couldn’t remember dating any men other than Massimo.
“Yes. How did you know Massimo was the one?” Blake extended his arm to hold on to as she adjusted her shoe. The Stuart Weitzman heels sparkled.
“Truth is I hated what I knew of Massimo before I ever officially made his acquaintance. He had a horrible womanizing reputation, his company was ripping me off, and he thought his shit didn’t stink. Then I met him and loathed him all the more.”
“Then how did you fall in love?”
“Hook-ups aren’t reserved for just you gay boys. Girls get horny, too. A one-night stand with Masi and I’d be on my way, that’s all I wanted. The night we had sex, I knew he wouldn’t let me go.”
“Lust. You were blinded by it.”
“Maybe at first, but lust fades. What was left in our afterglow of crazy monkey sex was my friendship with a man who was smart, and who respected me as much as I did him. Plus, Masi always puts me first. Without any doubt, I know he always will.”
“I see.” Looking puzzled, Blake didn’t appear to have gotten the answer he hoped for.
Lex continued. “I knew I wanted to marry him because I can trust him with my life, kids, and business. Trust is something my parents didn’t have for one another in their marriage. Sure, they loved each other, but Mom never trusted Dad.”
“Yes, Birdie has mentioned it a few times.”
“Masi isn’t perfect. He’s cocky as hell, lives life large, must be the center of attention, is driven to make money, and has the biggest dick I’ve ever seen.” She caught herself smiling at her own words. “But then again, so do I. Well… minus the penis.” She reached for her bouquet. “Thor did an amazing job with these flowers.”
“He certainly did.” Blake smiled at her and held the door. “Ready to get married?”
“After merging two companies together, having his baby, and another one on the way, I can without a doubt say hell yes.”
The sunlight coming in from the stained glass windows highlighted a kaleidoscope of colors on her gown. She went to take the first step down the aisle, but Blake stopped her.
“Before we go, there’s something I’d like to say.”
Hearing the seriousness in his voice, she tried to clear her mind and gave him her undivided attention.
“Thank you for always being my best friend. You helped me through my divorce, never told my secrets, got Vive into rehab, and keep Taddy in line. Most importantly, you keep us all together as a family.”
“Blake.” With a gasp, she put her hand on his chest.
“I may never have a husband or kids, but having you and the girls in my life is more than I could ask for. I love you, Lex.”
“Dammit. Don’t make me cry before I get down the aisle.” She stomped her heel. “We’ll always have one another Blake. I love you, too.”
The music started and the attendees stood. One step at a time, Lex walked slowly to the front, smiling at Birdie’s usual guest list of Gaga, Madonna, and Beyoncé. As if a lifetime passed, she found herself looking up at Prince Massimo Tittoni. She could hear Taddy’s sniveling behind her when they stood at the altar. The priest asked if anyone should object to their marriage. Jokingly, Massimo looked out at the crowd, waiting for a reply.
There wasn’t one.
The mass went on for over an hour. Lex kept one hand with Massimo and another on her bump, celebrating the baby growing inside her. She thought about her father, and like Taddy and her mom had moments earlier, felt Eddie’s presence in the church, too.
During the blessing of their union, she knelt down next to Massimo, leaned on the gold rail and folded her hands into a prayer. For the first time since Eddie’s suicide, she addressed him.
Dad, I know you’re here today, watching us. Heck, if Taddy says you’re here, then so be it. My world ended when you died, but slowly it’s come alive again. Thank you for looking over me and Mom, for bringing Massimo into my life, and giving me my babies. I love you, Daddy...and I forgive you for leaving us. I may never understand why you killed yourself, but one day I’ll see you again, and maybe I’ll get my answer. Oh, and please check in on Vive.
“Bella, don’t cry.” Massimo reached over and wiped a tear. “You okay?”
“I am now, Masi.”
The night at The Plaza ballroom flew by. The couple’s first dance had come and gone. Blake waltzed with Lex during what was more commonly known as the father/daughter dance to one of Eddie’s ballads. Toasts were spoken and the Sylvia Weinstock seventeen-tier cake cut, served, and eaten. Mango and chocolate were the two best flavors in the bunch.
Then it was party time.
Miguel grabbed Blake’s hips, gyrating him closer. It made him happy to see his friend so free and expressive. But it also made him anxious and sick. He wouldn’t return home with him later as anticipated. He wondered if his friend would ever talk to him again.
Please forgive me.
He put his arms around him and tried to focus on enjoying the next hour. His last sixty minutes with his best friend before he’d dropped the F-bomb. Swinging his hips with Miguel’s, he felt their cocks growing hard against each other. It was their moment in the shower all over again. Their shoulders went in and out in unison with the music.
“When you’re in love, you’ll know it, you’ll feel it, your body will tell you.” Birdie sang her chorus on stage to an excited audience. Catchy, it was a remix to one of her earlier songs from the ‘eighties.
Miguel slipped his hands over the back of his ass. The lights spun around the ballroom with a flash. Then everything went dark. Pushing his chest against Miguel’s, he felt his heartbeat against his chest.
“Let your body tell you what your mind fails to realize.” Birdie’s song sped up.
His body vibrated to the music, but it remained impossible to keep up with Miguel’s insatiable Latin pace. Everything on him danced. He stepped back, letting his friend get into his groove.
The music changed out as Birdie’s song came to a close and Kiki’s boyfriend, DJ Dejon, spun techno. It pulsated through his body as Thor stood over at the far door, passing out favors. Guests were starting to leave.
He felt a man come up behind him to dance with him. The guy’s crotch rested right at his butt. Moving to the left, the guy began to fondle him.
Oh, brother.
Blake stepped away from the stranger. He put himself in Miguel’s arms to avoid the groping from behind.
“Appears you may have found your man for the three-way you have on your Seven Desires.” Miguel smiled, looking righ
t in his eyes with dead seriousness.
“What did you say?” The room felt as if it was spinning.
When he’d made the Seven Desires with Thor, it was fictitious. There weren’t supposed to be any sentiments. No love. No friends. Just S-E-X. He thought for sure he might’ve experienced a three-way with someone he didn’t know or have feelings for. He didn’t imagine Miguel as his man to finish the list. He’d assumed all along that it would be with an unknown or a stranger.
Diego and his failed marriage came back at him. An open relationship was the beginning of the end. It had been easy for his ex-husband to fuck a stranger in their bed. Diego expected him to watch or join in if he wanted his husband to touch him. Sometimes, he’d even make him wear a mask so he wouldn’t have to look at him. The Madonna-whore complex had amplified. But he wasn’t into it. Ever. He was never touched. He never watched. They never talked.
Miguel leaned in and said, “Looks as if the guy behind you is interested. He keeps staring at us.”
“He may have us mixed up with someone else.” He rested his head against Miguel’s shoulder, hoping this would stop. Please tell me this isn’t happening.
Miguel’s smile faded. “I didn’t want to do a three-way. I was against it.”
He pulled his head back to face him. “What—” A sudden alarm caused any words he attempted to stay wedged in his throat. He felt as if he were being choked. He assumed Miguel might push for a group sex-a-thon. How did he misgauge that?
The rumor about Miguel for years had been that he was a fucking pig with men. Blake remained surprised he hadn’t been outed ages before about his sexuality. He worried Miguel would force him to have multiple partners if he stayed any longer through the week. The seconds flying by in slow motion reminded him how Diego had begged him to have a three-way. He didn’t want to. It wasn’t who he was. But Diego argued it would help them get back on the lovemaking wagon again.
“I never wanted to share you. But you’ve helped me with my parents. I’d do this for you,” Miguel said without any doubt on his face.
He struggled to remain dancing, hoping the guy would go away behind him. Hoping Miguel would shut the fuck up. Hoping the damn song would change. Hoping the lights would come up and reveal the guy featured a hideous face with no teeth and his friend wouldn’t be attracted to him. How is he into me and then into someone else?
“Come here.” Miguel motioned for the guy. He tempted him with his Mr. Santana dominating Latin looks.
Ménage à trois will start in five seconds...
No, no, no, Shocked, Blake turned around as he was sandwiched between the two tall, hot, and sweaty muscled men. Fuck, it’s Rocco. Gorgeous. Drop-dead hot.
Rocco’s hands went around his ass and pulled him closer. Miguel’s hands came up over Blake’s chest, teasing him.
Pressing into them, Rocco had that look in his eyes as if asking for permission to kiss him, to join in.
Ménage à trois will start in four seconds...
Without Miguel noticing, he begged, “Go away.”
Ignoring him, Rocco inched closer to Miguel. Rocco placed his arms around his shoulders and brought them all together.
Fuck. Shit. Damn.
Ménage à trois will start in three seconds…
Blake couldn’t breathe. Was this how gay life would be for him? Dancing to loud bass music and being groped by Rocco in the dark while his lover watched—was that it? He didn’t want it. Thor was right at lunch the other day. Lycra and lemons aside, this wasn’t him. Who the hell was he kidding?
Ménage à trois will start in one second…
“Excuse me.” He elbowed Rocco’s chest and broke Miguel’s grip. “I have to use the restroom.” He didn’t wait for a response or look back.
Blake darted for the main hallway to leave.
“Blake!” Miguel shouted after him as his heart sank. He watched him take off for the exit, unable to figure out what had gotten into him. He’d been flattered and excited to introduce him to his parents who’d come to the wedding and he’d gotten along so well with Mr. and Mrs. Morgan who’d taken off back to Connecticut about an hour before.
He was proud to have Blake on his arm.
Blake wanted a three-way; it was one of his Seven Desires. He sure as hell didn’t want an open relationship, but he’d make the sacrifice if it was important to him. Five years without any sex was unimaginable to him. He’d pretty much resigned himself to letting Blake do whatever he desired as long as it was healthy, safe, and he was with him when he did it.
Rocco stepped closer and put his hands on his biceps. He leaned in as if to kiss him, but he turned his head. “I’m taken.” He gritted his teeth, trying to make his displeasure evident.
“So am I. Maybe my boyfriend and girlfriend will join us later.” In an attempt to be sexy, the dude glared at his body up and down then licked his lips. He put his hand on his pectoral muscles. “Nice chest.”
“Sorry to have called your attention. We’re not interested.” He grabbed the guy’s wrist and yanked it to his side. “Have a good night.”
The guy frowned. “Whatever, buddy.” Rocco danced himself over to another couple.
Miguel picked up speed and followed Blake down a long hallway. He passed a roped-off area and headed into where they’d had cocktail hour earlier in the night. The smaller ballroom’s walls were decorated in large-scale photos. Most were Taddy and Lex as young children. At the end of the room, an oversized sepia-tone picture hung with precedence on the wall—Taddy, Lex, Vive, Blake, and himself, all in smiles.
He’d never seen the photo. Maybe eighteen at the time, they hugged one another during their freshman year at Columbia University. The others had been a tight group but welcomed Miguel with open arms.
He stopped for a second and stared at their facial expressions in more detail. Taddy was in the middle, confident as ever and facing the camera as if saying she’d rule the world one day. Vive stood to the side with her fist in the air in full party mode. Lex held up a flower to her nose, her head resting against Taddy’s shoulder. He witnessed his own eyes on the cameraman. Thor had taken the picture, if he remembered correctly. Blake gazed up at Miguel as if lost in his face and couldn’t care less about the picture being taken. His attention at the time was captured by...Miguel. Blake’s love for him had been just as obvious then as it was now, but Miguel hadn’t been ready for gay love back then.
He’d barely been able to take in his own sexuality at the age of eighteen, let alone some confident guy from Avon Porter who had it all figured out.
You had all the answers, Mr. Morgan.
Blake’s confidence intimidated him back then. But since his divorce, he didn’t seem as self-assured as he used to. It was as if they’d flipped roles. Diego not showing him any love had, in a way, deteriorated him from who he once was.
The double doors down the hall slammed with a loud thud, snapping his mind back into focus. He remembered they led to a small powder room Lex had used to change into bridal gowns two and three.
He approached the vestibule and turned the doorknob. Locked. He knocked and said, “Blake, open the door.” He put his ear up to the engraved wood in bewilderment. Blake’s heavy breathing was audible from the other side.
“Are you alone?” Blake asked through the crack between the two adjoining doors.
“Sí…” He’d break the door down in tres, dos, uno.
The door opened, and Blake peeked out into the hall over his shoulder. “I thought you would’ve brought Rocco back with you.”
“Cut the crap.” He pushed his way through, closed the door, and relocked it.
“What in the hell is the matter with you?” He stepped forward.
Blake backed up onto the sofa. He pulled a throw pillow over his lap as if uncomfortable with being in his presence.
“You said you were going to the bathroom.” He studied Blake’s actions with confusion.
“I was. This is a bathroom.” Blake wiped his eyes, not
making eye contact with him.
He stepped closer to the sofa and stood near him. “Why are you crying?”
“I need to go home. I don’t want to finish my list. It’s not me. I don’t want a relationship with you. I’m sorry, Mig. I can’t do this. I’m a boring guy from Connecticut who’s not exciting.” He pulled the pillow in closer.
“Boring? Is this how you think of yourself?”
Blake was a complex man. One not easy to know on an intimate level, but he was pretty sure he’d just figured it out. Mad he hadn’t come to the conclusion earlier, he would’ve never agreed to help him with his sexual fantasies knowing it would torment him. It occurred to him what Diego really did. He’d ruined Blake’s self-confidence to be loved.
“My ex told me I bored him.” A tear-smothered voice came from his shaking lips. He glanced up for the first time revealing the hurt in his eyes.
“Now we’re getting somewhere.” He cupped his face in his hands. His cheeks were damp and warm. He lowered himself to sit next to him, wiping his eyes as Blake kept his lids closed. “Open your eyes for me.”
Bright flecks stared up at him. Your eyes are bluer than ever when you cry, but don’t cry, Blake.
His nose was running and his jaw was shaking as he tried to free his face from his grip. He didn’t intend to let Blake go. “We only have one thing on your list left to complete. You’ve never mentioned it, not once.” He wiped Blake’s upper lip with his hand.
“I wrote my Seven Desires over drinks with Thor and Vive.” His cry twisted into a snorted laugh. “It was their influence, a fantasy with a stranger.”
“I’m no stranger.” He pulled him closer.
“You’re my best friend. I could never share you with another man.” He spoke in a low tone, but his eyes remained steady.
“Bueno, because I don’t want to share you,” he confessed, feeling glad they were having the conversation. In truth, he had pulled Rocco on the dance floor to test Blake.
“What?” Blake’s tears dried.