After what seemed an eternity, I felt the ground underneath me pushing upward, expelling me into the air once again. I rolled over on my back, gasping and choking, wiping the black earth from my face with trembling hands.
Zedala was lying crumpled and weeping twenty feet away. She was filthy and terrified, but she was alive.
I coughed up dirt and blinked up at the bright yellow sun, which was blotted out by one of the teachers. Not Mariah. This one was, I was sure, an Earth Warden, and a potentially quite powerful one.
He was also very, very young--no older than Zedala, but with a shimmering cloud of power surrounding him that was unmistakable to the eyes of anyone with a gift. Possibly, I thought, the most powerful Earth Warden I'd ever met, besides Lewis Orwell.
He had dark, empty eyes that held no pity, no reluctance, no doubt. The eyes of a fanatic.
"Go get her," he said to Mariah, who ducked her head in acknowledgment and hurried over the rows to grab Zedala and pull her to her feet. "Take her to the box."
"No!" Zedala screamed, but only once. The boy-Warden stared at her, and the next time her mouth opened, nothing came out. The panic and terror on her face spoke loudly enough, though. It was a horrible sight, but when I looked around, I saw that the gray-clothed workers had all turned away, intent on their own duties.
All but Merle, who was still watching, with his fists tightly clenched.
And, standing in the shadow of the corner of the barn ... Will, whose clear gray eyes were fixed not on Zedala, but on me.
The two teachers dragged the girl away. I was left alone to stagger upright, slapping dirt from my clothes. Will strode forward, grabbed my wrist, and pulled me out of the field. Once I was on hard-packed ground, he took my shoulders and shook me, hard enough to make a rain of dirt fall from my body.
"Are you insane?" he demanded. "Don't you understand that whatever happens, we do not interfere with the training of those children?"
"Training!" I spat, and struck his hands away from me. "I didn't see training. I thought they were going to kill her!"
"Their methods may seem harsh, but--"
"It's cruel, Will! And I'm not sure they wouldn't have let her die, if we hadn't been watching! I couldn't--"
"Listen to me! You have to, Laura. You have to learn that they know best!"
"Or?" I lifted my chin and stared into his eyes. His pupils slowly widened in response, as if he was swallowing my image whole.
"Or you won't have a place here," he said very gently, and touched my cheek. "And I'd regret that. I'd regret that very much."
So would I, I realized. Even now. Even with the panic and pain in Zedala's face, the icy indifference in the boy-Warden's cruelty. I didn't want to leave this place.
I didn't want to leave him.
I took a step away, until my knees were steady enough to hold me, and walked back to the barn, head down.
Then I picked up the rake, and went back to work. As I combed through the straw, I reached out for Rostow, to deliver Merle's message.
I couldn't make contact.
There was only emptiness on the other side of the fence, where Rostow and the FBI agents should have been. Nothing. An eerie silence that made me pause in my work and rise up into the aetheric, just enough to see.
Beyond the forest's cover, the FBI trailer was still in place. So were the cars, the SUVs, the tent where the agents slept.
But there was no sign of them at all.
They had all just ... vanished.
Every single one.
Merle and I were very much vulnerable, and on our own.
Chapter 11
THE REST OF THE DAY passed without incident, and I trudged back with the others to the lodge, where I showered, dressed in fresh clothing, and ate with Will's usual group of friends. They didn't mention the unfortunate Zedala, or my dip into the earth in a failed rescue attempt. No one did.
Merle sat alone at one end of another long table, head down. It was as if he'd already been ostracized from the group. I wanted to warn him that there was no rescue, no exit plan, but I didn't know if I dared now. If Pearl and her followers were powerful enough to abduct, destroy, or otherwise relocate the entire FBI presence, it would be dangerous to display any power that might draw their attention; I knew my aborted attempt to save the girl had already roused some suspicion. There was too much focus on Merle already.
I sipped my water and stared down at my plate as the others talked and laughed, and finally, very carefully, reached out and vibrated the delicate bones of his ear to say, FBI presence is gone. We're on our own. Watch out.
He looked up, startled, and checked himself before he stared in my direction. Instead, he stared at an entirely innocent Oriana, who was listening to someone else tell a long-winded story about a crow and a field of corn.
And I noted that a man near him was watching, and tracing any potential interactions Merle might have with others.
Merle's quick thinking had just preserved my cover--but had endangered Oriana, who was entirely innocent. And she didn't even know it.
My peaceful idyll here had, in a matter of hours, turned into a dangerous pit of vipers. The difference between me and Merle, or me and Zedala, was that I didn't intend to leave this place--not until I'd accomplished what I came to do.
I needed to lure Pearl here in the flesh, and find a way to destroy her--or cripple her. The Djinn side of me said that it was worth the cost of Merle's life, or the child's. Or of Will's, Oriana's, and the lives of all the other members of this cult who'd come here seeking escape from their own nests of problems. Collateral damage was inevitable now in this struggle. Surely it was better to sacrifice a few than to be forced to the extreme of slaughtering millions, or destroying the entire broad and lovely spectrum of the human race.
Surely.
Yet looking around the room, seeing the peace these people felt, the gentle love and regard they held for one another ... I felt that this would be less a sacrifice than black, cruel murder.
Not that I wasn't capable of that, too.
I had only myself to answer to now. Not Luis. Not Isabel. Not even Ashan. Only me, and my human-born conscience.
It should have been easier to silence.
The next few days passed in silence, a kind of tense standoff of waiting. Part of me felt at ease now; the stubbornly Djinn part was aware of how much risk there was, and what a subtle web it had woven around me. No more children visited the barn. In fact, I only saw them at a distance, always close to the school and their teachers. I never caught any sight of Zedala.
Merle continued on as he had, without any incident, until the third morning. It took me a short while to realize that although the other workers in the field beyond the barn were familiar, there was no sign of Merle.
I took it upon myself to visit the food hall and return with a heavy pitcher of cool water and a cup, and made the rounds of the sweating workers to deliver the refreshment with a smile. When I got to Will, he wiped his damp face, gave me a blindly sweet smile, and drank two deep cups before sighing in gratitude.
"Where's Merle?" I asked, looking around. "He's usually here, isn't he?"
Will had been stretching his long arms, but now he lowered them to his sides and looked sidelong at me, brows raised. "Usually," he said. "Why?"
"No reason. I just wondered if he was all right. He seems quiet lately."
"I don't think he worked out," Will said.
That sounded offhand ... and ominous. I drank some water myself, trying to decide how to approach the subject, and finally abandoned subtlety. "Did he leave?"
"Yes," Will said. "He left." After an awkward second of silence, he nodded. "Thanks for the water. I need to get back to work. These rows won't tend themselves."
I walked back to the food hall to return the pitcher, thinking hard. Merle might have been able to leave without incident; they might have allowed that.
But I couldn't believe it, not really. He'd seen the incident with Zedala. He knew the children
were at risk, and that made him a dangerous witness indeed. They would never let him simply walk free, even if they hadn't suspected him of being some sort of spy.
As I put out food for the pigs, greeting them with friendly pats, I ascended into the aetheric to get a glimpse around me. Merle had been solidly visible before, an easily recognizable target to locate ... but now I could see no sign of him. My attention was drawn instead to a spot of darkness on the aetheric, like a wide, violent splash of blood. It was in the field, and it was far beneath the surface.
It was the shape of a corpse. No ... not just one corpse. I counted four, at least, all buried deeply in the earth.
All fresh enough to retain their basic human shape, and the aetheric stain of their death struggles.
One of them had to be Merle.
The emotion of it hit me a moment after the factual information: Merle, as competent and careful as he was, had been killed. I was alone here. No friends, no allies, no chance of leaving with my life. Like Merle, I'd seen too much, asked too many questions. I was trapped.
But I wanted to be trapped. Didn't I? Hadn't that been my purpose in coming here all along?
Still, in that moment, seeing the blunt reality of what had happened to a man who had seemed, in many ways, indestructible, I felt fear, real and visceral. If I died here, I'd leave Luis and Ibby without ever really reconciling with them. They would believe that I hadn't really loved them, really wanted to stay.
You're not here to love them. You're here to save them. And that, too, was true. I had been sent to this world as an avatar of Ashan's wishes, and I knew that; he'd manipulated me into believing that it was my own will, but I knew the hand of the master at work. Ashan couldn't lose this game, not with the position in which he'd placed me; if I couldn't find a way to destroy Pearl, I would be driven to the last extreme, and destroy the human race that anchored and fed her. I was his cat's paw, and if I was destroyed in the process, then that was a price both he and I knew to be acceptable, given the stakes.
I hadn't intended to feel so much, or so deeply. Not for myself, and this fragile shell of flesh that sustained me, in any case. It should have been a temporary, uncomfortable prison, but instead--instead I felt as human, as afraid, as any of the people around me.
I spent the rest of the day feeling disconnected and alone, lost with my hideous secret beneath our feet. Will didn't know, nor did the others. I thought the boy Warden, the one who'd buried me briefly, had been the one to carry out the executions. It was a neat, mess-free way of disposing of those they no longer needed; it would have been a horrible way to die, suffocating on your own grave dirt, but I didn't suppose the boy cared.
He was a true believer, after all.
I was on my way to the food hall, exhausted and more than a little angry at my own indecision, when I saw a small shadowy figure lurking near the corner of my lodge building.
Zedala. She had managed to create a veil for herself, and done it well; I drifted her way slowly, almost by accident, and put my back against the side of the lodge wall beside her. The night was chilly, and she was shivering in her thin clothes. I was wearing a quilted jacket, which I stripped off and dropped beside her. She quickly picked it up and put it on with a quiet, trembling sigh of gratitude.
"What are you doing here?" I asked her. I kept watch for any sign of observers, but although there were people about, they didn't pay any obvious attention to me.
Zedala continued to huddle in her veil, but finally replied, "I was looking for you. You tried to help me."
"And?"
"I need to get out of here." She looked up, and the faint, fading light shone on tear tracks on her face. "They say I failed. They say I'm not powerful enough; I'm not the one they need. So they say I'm going to go home. But I'm not going home, am I?"
I thought of the bodies under the tilled field. "No," I said. "I don't think they'll let you go home."
"Can you help me?" she asked in a very faint voice. "Because there's nobody else. Nobody."
I closed my eyes. The pain in her voice pierced me, but I knew what Ashan would want me to do. What the old Cassiel, the Djinn Cassiel, would have done. I knew I should have walked away, left her there in her tears and desperation, and preserved my chance to win the day.
But she had no chance without my help. None. By dawn, I'd be finding her corpse buried next to Merle's. I'd be imagining a child's last, frantic, desperate moments. A child whom these people professed to honor and protect.
I might be a good Djinn if I allowed that to happen, but I would be a monster of a human being.
I opened my eyes and said, "All right. Can you veil yourself until I come and get you?"
"I think so." Zedala wiped her face with her sleeve and looked up at me with hope dawning warm in her eyes. "You're going to help? Really?"
"Yes," I said. "I'm going to help. But you have to promise me one thing."
"Okay."
"You have to promise me you won't stop running until you reach the Wardens. Tell them I sent you for help."
She nodded solemnly, and I pushed away from the wall and went into the lodge. My shower seemed to take an eternity, as did the dinner that followed. Will tried to distract me with amusing stories, but my smiles were all halfhearted.
Oriana was gone, too, I realized, as I looked around. Merle and Oriana, both missing, both likely dead.
I would be next, or the child would. I couldn't let her suffer for my mistakes.
After dinner, I willed myself to return to the lodge. Oriana's bunk above mine was neatly made, but any personal effects were gone. Instead, it was ready for a new occupant, complete with the same welcome gifts she and I had received upon our arrival. I undressed and got into bed, and waited for the hours to pass.
In the full dark, I rose and dressed as silently as I could, went to the restroom, and pried open one of the small windows at the back. I would never have made it in my original Cassiel form, but Laura Rose was smaller and lighter-boned, and I squirmed through the narrow opening and dropped to the ground outside. The moon was dark, so I had only starlight to navigate by. Apart from the rustle of the wind in the trees, there seemed to be no one about at all tonight. I spotted the subtle glimmer of Zedala's veil; she was where I had left her, close against the wall of the lodge building. I hesitated for a moment more, breathing in the sharp evening air, all senses alert, but I heard and saw nothing else.
I moved toward her under cover of shadows and crouched down next to her. She was wrapped in my quilted jacket, but still shivering. Nevertheless, she gave me a wan smile when she saw me. "You came," she whispered. "You came."
"Of course," I said. "I wouldn't leave you."
I helped her up, took her hand, and after another careful survey of the area, led her across the dangerously open area toward the fence. It was a significant barrier, but not for an Earth Warden; I had no more fear of disguising my power, because I knew that in order to allow Zedala's escape, I'd have to betray myself.
It felt like a positive step, until I remembered the friends I'd made, the peace I'd felt here. Until I imagined the look in Will's eyes when he learned of my betrayal.
"Are you okay?" Zedala whispered. We were at the fence, and I was at the moment of truth now. No more delays, no more doubts. I had to do this, or the child wouldn't survive her next encounter with her teachers.
It would cost me my chance at Pearl if I did this, but if I stood by and allowed a child's death as the cost ...
No. I was willing to pay a high price, but not that. Not that.
I extended my hand, exerted a delicate flow of power, and the metal mesh of the fence began to split and peel back like the edges of a sharp, dangerous flower.
Something hit me in the back of the neck with a stunning blow, and then again, even harder. A wave of disorientation, darkness, pain, and then I was falling to my knees, struggling to turn my power on the one who'd attacked me ...
... until I saw Zedala's face, alight with triumph and m
alice. She still held a bloody rock in her hand. She raised it over her head and screamed in triumph--a warrior's cry, chilling from such a small, fragile girl.
"Why?" I asked. I was clinging to consciousness only with the greatest of effort, and there was something terribly wrong with my head. The world tilted, sliding me toward the black edge.
For answer, Zedala hit me again. I heard answering cries, hot with approval, and this time, I couldn't hold on to the world at all.
Cass. Cass! Wake up!
Luis's voice, whispering urgently in my ear. I didn't want to wake up. The darkness was kind; it cloaked the pain and dulled the betrayal, but the whispers reached me even there, dragging me into a dull twilight full of agony. The pain drove me upward, into a harsh light that made me groan and twist aside from the glare.
"She's waking up," someone said. Not Luis. I ached to feel his presence, his comforting, healing touch, but instead there was only pain, and isolation. I couldn't move far. I was tied, or otherwise restrained. When I opened my eyes, the blaze of sun made me want to retch in anguish. There were dark shapes around me, distorted and sinister. "Block her! Don't let her get at her power!"
A child-sized hand flattened against my forehead, and I felt a cold, iron-hard wall come down, severing me from the reservoir of warm golden power that had accumulated within me. Luis had been feeding it to me, I realized; he'd been trying to heal me from afar, but now I was adrift and alone, and without that constant pulse of power, I was beginning to die. Oh, it was a slow process. It would take days of agony and terror, but my flesh would rot, and then the core of me would starve and flicker out like a blown flame.
I blinked away the glare, and the shadows wavered into the shapes of faces and bodies. Zedala's face came first. She was kneeling next to me with her hand on my forehead, and it was she who was cutting me off from my source. From Luis.
Zedala looked up, and I saw a boy of about her own age standing there staring down at us with a cold, remote expression. The Earth Warden boy, the one who'd staged that elaborate charade in the field to draw me out. There were two more children as well--a small, delicate girl who almost vibrated with the energy of Fire and a golden-skinned boy with silky black hair who radiated ... nothing. Absolutely nothing.