Reaching me, he stops inches away. I can smell the stench of cigarette smoke and cheap aftershave, and I want to gag.
He presses the gun to my chest, pushing the barrel in between my breasts. My legs start to shake.
“You know, the first time I saw you, when Jason brought you around, I noticed how fucking pretty you were. But you always looked so uptight, like you needed a good fucking. And I know how to fuck real good, Daisy. You want that, huh? Me to give it to you good?”
I spit in his face. And he laughs.
Eyes fixed on mine, he slowly wipes my spit from his face and then gives me a sick, twisted smile. “I’ll let you have that one. But you pull any more of that shit, and I’ll put a bullet between your pretty friend’s eyes before you can scream for me to stop.”
I can hear muffled sounds coming from Cece, like she’s trying to shout behind her gag.
I force my eyes to stare back at his. “You pull that trigger, and the neighbors will call the cops faster than your inefficient, small dick can get an erection.”
He grins, excitement flaring in his eyes. “Silencer, baby.”
He taps the gun against my chest, drawing my eyes down to it, and that’s when I register the silencer attached to it.
Fuck. I’m done for. There’s no getting out of this.
I squeeze my eyes shut in defeat, and he chuckles softly.
I feel the gun move from my chest, and he comes closer.
He presses his mouth to my ear and licks the shell of it.
I shudder in disgust. A tear runs down my face.
“So, don’t worry, baby; no one will hear a thing. Not even the sound of you screaming while I fuck you.”
He steps back, and then he grabs the top of my dress and yanks it down, ripping it open, exposing my bra. His eyes flash with excitement, and my stomach revolts, sick with fear.
“If you’re a good girl and do as I say, I’ll kill you and your girlfriend quickly. You fuck with me, and I’ll kill you slowly. I’ll fuck you and your girlfriend six ways to Sunday, and then I’ll make you watch while I cut her open before doing the same to you. You hear me, Daisy? Play nice, and this will all be over real soon.”
Body quaking, I swallow roughly, my throat like sandpaper.
His hand comes up and roughly grabs my breast. “So fucking pretty. I’m going to enjoy every fucking minute with you.”
He rips my dress the rest of the way off, leaving me in only my underwear. His eyes run a sick appraisal over my body. An evil-sounding chuckle comes from his mouth. Then, he leans forward, and his disgusting tongue licks the top of my breast.
Tears running down my face, I lock eyes with Cece. She’s crying behind her gag, her eyes wide with fear.
I shut my eyes, so I don’t have to see her. As though that will stop her from having to see this.
This must have been how it was for Haley and Kas that night.
Something inside me suddenly snaps.
No.
I won’t let this happen. I won’t be this sick fuck’s victim anymore. He’s taken enough from me already. He’s not robbing me of this as well.
He’s never doing this to anyone ever again.
And, if I have to die while stopping him, then so be it.
Because I’d rather be dead than be his victim for one second longer.
Then, I stop thinking and just act.
I tightly grab ahold of his balls, squeezing harder than I ever have in my life.
He cries out in pain and shock. His head jolts up, and he head-butts my chin. I bite my tongue, and blood floods my mouth. But I don’t let go. I keep a tight hold of that motherfucker’s balls.
“Get the fuck off me, you fucking cunt!”
He hits me with the butt of his gun. Pain explodes in my eye, and I lose my hold on him as I stumble back, clutching my eye.
“You’re gonna fucking get it now, you little bitch.”
He punches me in the face. I fall backward, hitting the floor.
He’s on top of me, and I’m fighting him with everything I have.
But he’s too strong.
He grabs one of my flailing arms, forcing it to the floor and pinning it there. I see the bottle of champagne lying on the floor beside me, only inches away.
If I could just grab it…
He presses the gun to my forehead. “What did I fucking tell you?” he snarls. “I told you to behave. But you just don’t fucking listen, do you? Do you want me to put a bullet in your girlfriend’s head right now? Or maybe I should just put a bullet in yours.”
He pushes the gun harder against my head, and I know there’ll be a bruise there—if I live through this, that is.
“Because you are becoming more trouble than you’re worth. And, honestly, Daisy, I have no problem with fucking your still-warm corpse.”
A laugh bubbles up out of me, and it sounds maniacal. I feel maniacal.
I stare up at him. “Do your worst, Doyle. I got a feel of your tiny cock, and I’d be surprised if I’d even be able to feel it anyway.”
Anger tightens his features. The gun pulls away from my forehead, and then he punches me in the face.
Holy fuck.
The pain is excruciating.
Choking on the blood filling my mouth, I start laughing again. The sound is like a gurgle. I open one eye, staring up at him. “Jesus, Doyle, I can hit harder than you. Hits like a girl and has a tiny cock. That’s why you have to rape women, isn’t it? To make you feel like more than you are.”
“Shut the fuck up, you fucking bitch!” he yells, face bright red, as his hand rears back to hit me again.
That’s when I make a grab for the champagne bottle. I get ahold of it, but he catches my hand, trying to wrestle it from my grip.
“Get off me!” I scream, fighting with everything I have.
“I’d do as she says, if I were you.”
Kas.
He’s here. Thank you, God.
Twisting my head back, my eyes connect with his.
He’s standing in the doorway. Pure rage covers his face, contorting his beautiful features. His black eyes look like they’re on fire. Every single inch of him screams danger.
He’s never looked more beautiful to me than he does now. And I’ve never felt relief like I do now.
Damien yanks the champagne bottle from my hand and tosses it to the floor behind him. Eyes on Kas, he sits on my stomach, pinning me to the floor. “Well, if this isn’t just fucking peachy. The boyfriend’s here. Come on in, Kas. Join the party.” He waves his gun in Kas’s direction. “You know the rules. You’ve been to one of my parties before. You get to sit and watch while I fuck your girlfriend. And, when I’m done with her, I get to finish you off, like I should’ve done seven years ago.”
An animalistic sound tears from Kas.
And then everything goes crazy.
Kas lunges the short distance across the room, toward Damien. He moves so fast that Damien doesn’t even get a chance to lift his gun to point it at Kas.
Kas’s body connects with Damien’s with a loud thud. The gun flies from Damien’s hand. They both hit the floor.
Now free, I don’t waste a second. I scramble up to my knees, wildly scanning the floor for the gun, while Kas fights Damien, barely a foot away from me.
My eyes lock on the gun. It’s on the floor, by the foot of the armchair.
I dive for it. Hand curling around the barrel, I pick it up. Swinging around to face them, I push up to my knees, and in my trembling hand, I hold the gun properly. I raise it and point the gun at the men fighting on the floor.
I curl my finger around the trigger. “Kas,” I rasp out, my voice hoarse.
He doesn’t hear me. He’s too busy punching Damien in the face.
“Kas! Move!” I scream.
Kas’s head jerks back and around, eyes swinging to mine.
It’s a mistake on my part because Damien takes full advantage of his distraction and punches Kas in the side of his head, his fist conne
cting with Kas’s temple.
Kas slumps to the floor.
“No!” I cry out.
Damien’s eyes come to me. And that’s when he sees I have the gun in my hand.
Slowly, Damien gets to his feet. “And what do you think you’re going to do with that, little girl?” he mocks.
My heart is pounding. Panic and fear and adrenaline are burning through me like jet fuel, making my hands shake.
Damien tips his head to the side, his eyes appraising me.
I know he’s weighing whether or not I have the guts to pull the trigger.
Can I? Can I really do it?
I pull this trigger, and it’s game over for me. I will never get Jesse back. I’ll go back to prison.
Damien’s lips curl up into a sick, twisted smile, and I know he’s made his decision.
The choice is no longer mine.
I’m so sorry, Jesse.
Damien lunges for me.
And I pull the trigger.
Forty
I’d never put much thought into what it would be like to shoot someone.
I mean, it’s not like you ever think you’re going to be faced with the day when you have a gun in your hand, and a homicidal maniac is trying to kill you, so it’s going to be either him or you.
So, of course, it’s going to be you.
But pulling that trigger is nothing like you’d think it would be.
It’s not all glory where the bad guy flies backward, and I stand here, like a badass.
No. I’m the one who ends up on my ass. The kickback from the gun sends me flying backward.
And then, for what seems like the longest time, everything just stops.
The world goes kind of hazy, and it’s like the sound has been switched off.
The only thing I can hear is the sound of my own racing heart, pounding against my chest.
Then, it’s like the world slowly comes back into focus. And the volume is turned back up to loud. Every noise is being picked up by my ears. The sounds of traffic outside. The rattling of the windows as the wind blows against it.
Time restarts.
I’m on the floor with a gun in my hand.
And Damien Doyle is still on his feet, staring down at me in shock.
His hand is pressed to his stomach, blood seeping from the hole I just put in him.
“You fucking shot me,” he says the words like he can’t actually believe that I shot him.
Honestly, neither can I.
Body shaking, I manage to get to my feet. The whole time, I keep my eyes fixed on Damien and keep the gun pointed in his direction.
When I’m on my feet, I quickly glance at Kas on the floor and see that he’s slowly coming around.
Eyes moving back over, past Damien, I look at Cece.
She’s on the floor, sitting awkwardly against the base of the sofa, like she’s wriggled her way off the sofa to try to get to us. But she’s okay.
I exhale with relief.
My eyes come back to Damien, whose eyes are fixed on his blood-soaked hands.
I take a step closer to him, and his eyes lift to mine. He looks afraid.
Power and adrenaline surge through me, the likes of nothing I’ve ever felt before.
It’s like someone else has stepped into my body and taken me over.
Gun raised and pointed at Damien, I take another step closer, putting only a few feet between us.
Fear fills his eyes. “You-you don’t have to do this,” he stammers, stumbling back a step. “We-we can figure something out. I have mo-money.”
“Fuck you, Damien Doyle, you murderous sick fuck. Fuck you to hell and back.” I take a step closer and brace my feet apart.
I take aim.
“That first bullet was for me,” I say in a voice that I barely recognize. “This one is for Haley.”
Then, I pull the trigger.
The bullet rips from the gun and slams into his chest.
He falls back this time, staggering. His eyes lock with mine.
I stop breathing.
Then, he drops to the floor.
Silence. For what seems like forever.
“Daisy.”
My wide eyes swing to Kas.
And reality hits me.
I killed him.
I killed Damien.
The gun drops from my hand, hitting the floor with a soft thud.
“Oh God. I-I ki-killed him. I killed him…I fucking killed him!”
I don’t even realize I’m backing away until Kas grabs me, taking ahold of my upper arms. “Stop.” His voice is hard but calm.
I still in his grasp.
“Cece needs you.” He stares hard into my eyes. “Go help her.”
My eyes dart to Cece.
I race over to her and pull the tape from her mouth. She winces.
“Sorry. God, I’m sorry. Are you okay?”
She nods. “Yeah. I think so. Are you?” Her eyes go to Damien’s body on the floor.
I can’t look.
“Yeah. Jesus, Ce, I’m sorry.” Trembling hands fumble at her binds, untying them.
“I’m sorry,” she counters. “I let him in. I didn’t know, Dais.”
“No. Stop now.” I take her face in my hands. “This wasn’t your fault.”
Tears fill her wide eyes, and my heart ruptures open.
“I thought he was…” Her lip trembles. “I thought he was gonna…and I couldn’t do anything.”
I get the ties on her wrist undone.
She throws her arms around me. “I couldn’t have handled it, Dais. If he’d…”
“Shh…it’s okay.” I smooth a hand over her hair. “It’s okay.” I ease out of her arms and untie her ankles.
She gets to her feet and hugs me again. Her body is shaking. Mine, too.
I’m afraid to turn around because I know, if I do, I’ll see Damien’s body again.
“Daisy.” Kas’s soft voice carries to me, turning me around.
I look at him, but my eyes instantly track to the body on the floor.
I killed a man.
My whole body starts to shake. “I killed him…Kas,” I whisper. “I shot him and—”
“No.” He grabs my upper arms again and lowers his head, so we’re at eye-level. Black eyes stare deep into mine. “You didn’t kill him, Daisy. Do you hear me? It was me that pulled that trigger. I was the one who shot Damien. Not you. Me.”
My head starts to shake. Tears fill my eyes at the enormity of what he’s saying. “No,” I choke out.
“Yes.”
“Please, Kas. I can’t—”
“Yes, you can, and you will. You’ll let me do this because there’s a kid out there who needs you. Jesse needs you.” He drives the point home with his eyes. “I killed Doyle. I’d come here to see you. Had heard your screams through the door and burst in to find Doyle trying to rape you. Cece was bound and gagged on the sofa. I lunged for Doyle. We fought. I managed to wrestle his gun off him. I got to my feet and pointed the gun at him, but he came for me again. So, I shot him. But he didn’t go down with that first bullet. He came again, so I pulled the trigger a second time, and he went down. All the time, you were on the floor, unmoving, in shock.”
“Kas, I can’t—”
“Yes, you can. And you will.” Releasing my arms, he takes my face in his hands. “You’ll do this because it’s the right thing to do. It’s the right thing for Jesse. God, I’m sorry I didn’t get here earlier. Jesus, Daisy, just coming in here and finding him and you—I could have lost you.” His eyes close, as though the pain of remembrance is too much for him to bear.
I lift a trembling hand and press it to his cheek.
He opens his eyes. The shine of tears in them nearly kills me.
He gently brushes his thumb over my swelling eye from where Damien hit me.
His eyes lower. Rage flares in his face as he takes in my half-naked state.
“Jesus.” The word is an agonized sound coming from him. “Did he?”
“No.”
“Thank God.” He pulls me into his arms.
I bury my face in his chest. His hand grips the back of my head, holding me to him.
Unwanted images flash through my mind. I shiver in his arms.
“You’re cold.” He releases me and takes off his shirt.
He holds it up for me to put on. I slip my arms into the sleeves. I don’t bother to button it up. I wrap it around me, keeping it in place with my arms, and I just breathe in his scent surrounding me.
He steps close to me and cradles my face in his hands, handling me like I’m precious goods.
He tilts my face up to his. “I love you,” he says.
I blink, surprised, my heart stilling in my chest.
“What I said last night—that it wasn’t in me to love anyone—I was wrong. So fucking wrong, babe.” He leans in and kisses my lips. “I love you like I didn’t know possible.”
I feel him move away a fraction.
I open my eyes. His are on mine, soulful and filled with so many other emotions that I almost can’t take it.
“I couldn’t save Haley that night,” he whispers. “But I can save you now. Let me take the blame for killing him. Let me do this one last thing for you, babe.”
I feel overwhelmed. My chest is so full with my feelings for him that I can barely breathe.
“You don’t have to—”
“I want to. I need to, Daisy.”
I stare into his eyes, understanding what he’s saying to me.
“Okay,” I whisper. “Okay, Kas.”
Forty-One
Seven days.
Seven days since I shot and killed Damien Doyle in my living room.
Seven days since Kas told the police that he was the one who had killed Damien.
Him.
Not me.
And it’s been seven days since I last saw him.
After Kas convinced me to let him take the blame, I guess I was in some form of shock.
I mean, I had just killed a man. I guess it would have been weird if I hadn’t gone into shock.
Kas sat me on the sofa with Cece. Then, he went about setting his scene.
I sat there with Cece on the sofa, holding her in my arms, while she sobbed quietly. And I watched, almost abstractly, as Kas wiped down the gun, removing my prints from it. Then, he put it in Damien’s hands, putting his prints back on it. Then, Kas held the gun in his own hand, putting his fingerprint on the trigger, incriminating himself.